"I got dat boi," Connie stated.
"Ha! I got the kazoo kid," Eren boasted. "Hey Mikasa!" Eren called out as she walked up to them. "Wanna take a quiz that tells you what 2016 meme you are?"
"Don't you also take online quizzes to figure out your sexuality?" Mikasa asked.
"No!" Eren nearly shouted. "That's what Jean does!"
~ meanwhile ~
"100% Flaming Homo with Chili Sauce in a lava pit?" Jean said to himself as he analyzed the results. "That can't be right." He proceeded to take another quiz.
~~~
"Sounds like something he'd do," Connie laughed.
"Hey do you want to take this quiz to see if we're dragons?" Eren asked.
"HECK yeah!" Connie exclaimed.
"See you later, Mikasa," they said before Mikasa even started to walk away. She quietly nodded, then turned around to leave.
A couple seconds later, Armin ran up to them, all out of breath. "Hey.... have you guys.... MAN, I can't run... HAVE you guys seen Mikasa?" He heaved.
"You just missed her," Eren said.
"Did you tell her happy birthday?" Armin asked.
Eren just continued to stare into the nothingness that was in front of him. Everything was silent for a moment.
"Her birthday is February tenth," Eren stated.
"Yup," Armin said.
"So today isn't February fifth," Eren continued.
"I understand thinking today was the ninth or something but I have no idea how you thought it was the fifth," Armin said.
Immediately, Eren jumped up and started to bolt down the hallways, yelling profanity repeatedly.
~shortly after~
"OKAY, what do we need to go to give Mikasa the perfect last minute birthday?" Eren asked.
"I don't know, but why did we have to convene in a dark, sketchy janitor's closet with a long table in the middle and a line lamp dangling from the ceiling?" Jean asked.
"Shut up, Jean," Eren retaliated.
"We can give her a make up thing," Connie suggested. "Girls love that stuff right?"
"I think the only thing she wears is Channel Lip Balm," Eren said and she's got enough of that stuff.
"Wait really?" Christa asked. "She looks that fabulous with only lip balm?"
"I bet you don't wear any make-up Christa," Ymir said as she wrapped her arm around Christa. "You're PERFECT as is."
Christa's eye visibly twitched. "I wear a shit-ton of makeup so it lOOKS LIKE I DONT WEAR MAKEUP, you useless lesbian."
Ymir made finger guns at Christa. "Well, ya got me there."
Suddenly the door was swung open as Hanji stepped into the closet while grabbing Nile by his wrist. "No my interrogation room was taken!"
"Good," Levi said as he stepped in.
"Why are you all here?" Hanji asked.
"We're planning a birthday party for our friend," Armin spoke up.
"Who?" Hanji asked while her glasses did what the friends recognized as the anime glasses shine thing.
"Don't tell her-" Levi began to warn, but it was too late.
"Mikasa," Eren answered.
"Why would you do that to yourself?" Levi sighed.
Hanji began to giggle mischievously.
"What does this mean?" Connie whispered to Sasha.
"She's probably gonna give your friend a stripper cake," Levi answered.
"THAT'S SO WEIRD, HOLY SHiaTE!" Connie nearly shouted.
"But it's effective!" Hanji pointed out.
"No stripper cake," Eren stated.
"I think it's a good idea," Reiner shrugged.
"Of course you would think that," Bertolt uttered.
"You know what?" Eren said. "I think we're going to go with the old, classic..."
~ moments later ~
Mikasa was heading off to her next class when she remembered she left her book in her locker. She quickly made a detour. Before she opened her locker, she recalled what happened last year on her birthday. Feeling paranoid, she stepped to the side before slamming the door open. However, no confetti was traveling at maximum velocity seemed to hurdle towards her direction.
"DAMMIT EREN! HOW COULD YOU MESS UP MIKASA'S LOCKER TWO YEARS IN A ROW?" Jean voice came from some me conveniently placed plants.
Everyone murmured in disappointment as they stepped out of their hiding places.
"And I was sure the confetti would work this time too!" Armin whined as he kicked a locker that was a couple lockers down from Mikasa's.
Everyone gasped. "Armin! It's not like you to kick someone else's locker!" Marco said.
"It's mine," Armin said.
"This is a familiar scene," Levi said as he stopped next to Mikasa at his locker.
"Are you going to open the locker with caution?" Mikasa asked.
"Hell yeah," Levi said before swinging the door open.
Everyone sighed in relief for no one was injured.
"Doesn't matter," Eren said. "I gift this to you," Eren said as he handed Mikasa a red box. Mikasa opened it to reveal a golden locket with a cursive M printed on the front.
"Like it?" Eren asked. "Now you have a place to keep that picture of us as children you always carry around!"
"That's so thoughtful," Mikasa said. "Thank you."
"Can I see the picture?" Sasha asked. Mikasa pulled the picture out from within her phone case to show a small and battered looking Mikasa next to a tiny smiling Eren.
"This is so cute!" Christa squealed.
"It is from the day we reaped the sinners," Mikasa uttered.
However, no one had the time to process that before Armin was projected backwards from his locker because of the glorious confetti wad.
"Hey, looks like the confetti wad was defective this year, too," Eren said.
"Oh Mikasa!!" Hanji shouted.
"Oh no," Levi uttered.
Hanji wheeled up a cart with a giant cake - one covered with pink glitter and suspiciously big enough to fit a person inside of.
"What the hell is this?" Eren asked.
Hanji pressed a button as careless whisper began to play from within the cake as a certain buff boy from their grade began to rise to the top of the cake on a moving platform with a pole in the middle. He wore an Eren face masked, the lacy sexy bombshell Victoria's Secret push-up known as Gertrude and matching pink panties, and pantyhose.
"Let the pole dancing commence!" Hanji announced. However, she was only able to continue for this far until Eren chucked the confetti wad at the stripper.
"Hey! How dare you disrespect my stripper!" Hanji cried out.
"Boo!" Everyone shouted as Reiner took off his Eren mask and angrily stomped away in his five-inch stilettos.
"Well happy birthday Mikasa," Eren turned to her and denied everything that happened behind him.
"Thank you," she said. "I really wish I could unsee that, though."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: IM SO SORRY THAT I KEEP MISSING THESE BIRTHDAYS IVE BEEN BUSY I SWEAR BC OF KATSUCON WHICH IS THIS WEEK (!!!!!! IM EXCITED) AS WELL AS A CRUD TON OF SCHOOLWORK KILL ME