Spencer's POV
"It's official! I'm getting publish Spencer! "
"OH MY GOSH THAT'S FANTASTIC "
I hug and kiss him
Finally, he deserves it so much.
"Come on in, your cookies are ready" i say with a big smile
"Omg i just noticed. What happened to your hair? It's all, sticky" he laughs
"Yeah, some egg incident earlier, no big deal" i look at the window, thinking about what happened.
Why do I think about all this ? I thought the phase was over, it can't be back, it can't be. I have to talk to someone about this, it can't be Toby some obvious reasons though.
"Ok, you stay here, relax yourself and eat my amazing cookies, i'll wash my hair and go for a run, the wether is great and i haven't got the time to go out today"
"Humm okay but, be careful okay? "
After i washed my hair, i put on my jogging and sneakers. Took my phone and left.
I just need to see Emily like right now. She's on vacation since last week so, she should be at her place.
Emily's POV
*knock knock* Oh, is Ali already here? I'm so not ready.
"Wait a seconddd" i yell. I open the door to see a crying Spencer
"Omg what happened?! Come in come in" i say
What is happening, she sounded great on the phone yesterday
"Breathe Spence Breathe. Sit and tell me what happened."
"It's. It's" she says between two breathes "It's Toby, something happened"
I knew it was going to happen, the situation is too confusing for both of them...
"Calm down and tell me about this" i say while getting a text
"Em' something happened, could i come and see you? -Toby"
Ohh, should i tell him the truth? Or just say that i'll see him tomorrow? No I'll tell him the truth and answer real quick so Spencer won't notice i checked my phone.
She tells me about the baking part earlier this afternoon, i understand why she's so freaking out, she almost cheated on Jake with her ex. I wonder how Toby feels. I think I'm gonna tell her the same thing i answered Toby... She needs to do this or else this story is going to end up real bad.
Toby's POV
I need to think about this. Did it mean something? Or was this just in like, the heat of the moment? I wonder what would have happened if, if her phone would have rang like, a minute later. Would we have? No, we wouldn't have, i couldn't do this to Yvonne and she couldn't do this to Jake. I'm so confused, i thought she was leaning in for a second. Or was I dreaming?
I have to talk to someone, maybe Emily is available right now, i'll text her.
2 minutes later
"I'm sorry Toby, Spencer's here and she's really confused about all this, i'm gonna tell you what i think about it. I know it's going to be hard, but, if you love Yvonne, if you want your relationship and your future marriage to work, you have to stop seeing Spencer. What you two had was special and even if you don't want to, old feeling will come back and you won't be able to move on with Yvonne. So, for both of you, for Spencer, you, Yvonne and Jake, you need to go back as simple neighbors. I'm sorry, do whatever you want but if you really love Yvonne, you'll do as i advise you. -Emily" (Damn she types fast)
It's hard to admit but she's right, old feelings will always come back and I think they already did. I don't know what to think, what if i meet Spencer and she wants to start things up again? Will i be able to refuse? Should i follow my heart because of old true feeling or should i take a new unsure path that may lead to something wonderful? I can't decide this, i have to wait, i have to see her, we have to discuss about this.
The next day
Spencer's POV
I told Toby this morning that i have to see him at the Brew at his lunch break (a.k.a now) , i have to do this. Emily and the girls were right, this can't work, I want things to move on with Jake and I can't if Toby is around. I thought i was an adult but obviously i'm not, i can't be friend with my ex, i can't be just friend with Toby Cavanaugh.
I enter the pub and look around, he's waiting for me at the bar, he seems sad.
"Hey" I say half-smiling "Listen I have to tell you something and it's not going to be easy so please forgive me"
"I cannot be mad at you Spencer" he smiles at me. Gosh what am I doing. Am I sure ? No Spencer! you have to do this! "What do you wanna talk about"
I sit, "Toby, I... We can't see each other anymore. It's too hard "
"What do you mean "too hard"? "
"It's, I love Jake, I truly love him and you, you truly love Yvonne"
"So? Everything was working out. Why do you want to change this?" he seems sad, really sad
"Please Toby, don't make this harder than it is" a tear is running down my cheek "Whenever i look at you, i have this feeling." *silence* "I get this feeling, this hate feeling. I hate myself for what I did, how I ruined things. I can't be around without hating myself and without hating you"
"Spencer you do-"
"Please, i have to get this out. We can't hang out anymore, we can't see each other unless we're forced too. Because i- i-" i barely can say the last words, but if i don't say them, he's never going to leave and to let go.
Toby's POV
"Please, i have to get this out. We can't hang out anymore, we can't see each other unless we're forced too. Because i- i-" they is a big silence. She's looking for her words, i see it in her teary eyes. " Because, i , i hate you Toby" she starts crying "I can't spent another minute of my life next or near you" I know she's lying but i'm just going to pretend too because, weirdly, the best way to leave each other, is to "hate" each other.
She keeps going "I want you to forget about us, our history. I want you to forget about me. I want you to consider me as a simple neighbor. I hope you'll be happy" and she storms out crying harder then before.
It hurts, it hurts so much. I know it's for the best but i just, i just can't, it's too hard. I'm gonna call in sick, i have to go home. I have to see the only love i have left... ;(
A few weeks later
Spencer's POV
It has been a few weeks now since i last saw him alone. Now, we just politely say hello when i go get my mail. I just told Jake that we fought and that we couldn't see each other anymore. He bought it without asking any questions because he knew i didn't want to talk about this. Now things are better than ever between us. I help him with his second book so we spend most of our time together, it's perfect (or at least very close right?).
Even if things are amazing, i just can't keep myself from looking through the window when i'm alone. I just watch him. Sometimes for hours. Yvonne is with him most of the time but, i don't care, i just need to see him. Once, Jake walked in on me near the window, i just told me that i was cleaning it. I hate lying to him but sometimes, secrets are better for everyone. Is it bad that i look at him that much? Maybe it'll go away once he's married, or once i am, or i don't know. I did everything right so it will go away.
On some happier note, i received a "letter" from Hanna and Caleb this morning. They're having an engagement party in like a week. "Wear something fancy, let's dance a bit". Could be a nice distraction, + we haven't got the occasion to share a dance with Jake yet,should be fun.
I just call Hanna and tell her we'll be here. I hang up and get an uncoming call from Jake
"Hey honey, what's up? "
"Ohh, i'm stuck at Ezra's, he wants me to finish some paperwork about the book, i won't be there for like another 2 hours"
" Really? Couldn't you finish this tomorrow, i haven't seen you all day"
"Spence we work together 4/5 of the time, you'll survive i promise *he laugh*"
"I just miss you. But okay, see you tonight then" I hang up and call Aria
"Hey could you tell your man to let mine off work ? " i ask laughing
"Hum Spence' Jake left hours ago actually. Ezra let him go get some rest"
" Are you sure? He just called me to say he has to stay because of some paperwork or something"
"Ezra is right next to me so yeah i'm sure... But don't worry, i think he'll have a good explanation. He seems like an honest guy don't worry"
"Hope you're right... Thanks anyway. See you at Hanna and Caleb's party"
What is he up to? Secrets are useful in some situations, but i don't think i like this one...
Toby's POV
It has been a few weeks and i think i'm finally over this. The wedding is getting closer and the preparations are moving forward. Just a simple perfect (almost) wedding with a girl i love.
I see Spencer when i go get my mail. Weirdly, we always get it at the same time (i wonder why), so we just politely smile and say hello before returning to our respective houses. I'm not gonna lie, i miss her a bit but, Emily was right, it's for the best. Everyone is happy now.
I see that Spencer is watching me sometimes, or cleaning i'm not sure but, i see her at her window a lot. She shines into the sun every afternoon it's beautiful. But then Jake comes home and the bubble burst.
The more I think about this, the more i realize i may not be over it...
A week later, Engagement Party in a place that looks like a wedding reception room (it's big)
Toby's POV
I arrive at the party with Yvonne at my arm, everyone is dancing, Hanna comes and welcomes us
"Glad you could make it guys! Have some fun, get some drinks :):"
"Thank you and congratulation you two" i say "I want to say "finally"" i laugh a bit
I look around, i see Emily and Alison dancing, Aria is on the phone, so is Ezra actually. I see some old high school classmate and, Jake, alone.
"Honey, i'm thirsty, want anything? " Yvonne asks
"No i'm good thank you" she kisses me real quick and go "i'll be right back"
While she's away i just go and talk to Jake, wonder why he's alone, in his tuxedos.
" Hey, you're alone tonight? "
"Oh no, she's just late, she's going to arrive any second now" he answers, stressful
" You look tense, what's the problem? "
"No nothing rea-" and he just stops talking, and look to his right.
I follow his look and i see, i see her.
We're both speechless, she looks so stunning. She's just, wow.
I just leave fast before she talks to me, i just can't. I go and find Yvonne. A slow dance starts playing, i don't dance a lot but, i feel like it today.
Everyone calms down and start dancing slowly. About one minute after the dance started, my look goes into Spencer's (who's across the room btw), we just look at each other for the whole song until a glass noise interrupts it.
Caleb starts talking "I'm sorry to interrupt but i just wanted to thank you all for being here tonight. It's not our real wedding but i really wanted to thank everyone, especially you Mona. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have met. So even if back then, the situation was awful, i still thank you because i can't imagine my life without her now. I just really wanted to say that, now back to the mu-"
Caleb gets interrupted by Jake
"If I may, i know it's your night guys, but i can't wait anymore" he turns away to Spencer "Spencer honey, we've been together for quite some time now and, i just love you so much. You complete me"
Please tell me it's not what I think it is...
"And I can't wait any longer to ask you this *he gets on one knee*"
Oh no, i can't take this.
"Spencer Hastings, will you marry me?" At this moment, time stopped for me. I don't know why actually, it's funny how love works. You think you're past it but it always comes back at the worse moment
Spencer's POV
Is this really happening? After all this time he is finally doing this? Why do i feel so happy and so... unsure at the same time. I look at Toby but he turns his head to his fiancee so i can't see his deep blue eyes. You know those times when a second feels like years ? This is one of them. I don't know what to do. You know what? I love him, it's as simple as that. It's too late anyway *i look at Toby while saying this*
"Yes, yes i'll marry you" and i kiss him. Everyone is clapping around and everything. I'm happy and embarrassed at the same time.
For the next half an hour, everyone is just congratulating us and stuff. Like Hanna said, its a "double engagement party". While Emily talks to Jake, i see Toby and Yvonne talking. She kisses him and leave. I wait a sec and go see Yvonne
"Hey, you're leaving so early guys? "
"Oh Spencer, didn't see you there. Congratulation! I'm so happy for you guys, you seem like a great couple"
" Awww thank you" i answer, still waiting for a response
"And to answer you, i'm just gonna get some sleep, i have a trial first hour in the morning. Toby is going to stay a little longer and he has a night shift in like 45 minutes if you want to s-"
"No i'm fine, good luck for your trial tomorrow" i smile and go back inside
I just go back to Jake's side, i see that Toby is looking at me from across the room. He sees that i see him and runs away in another room. Oh that's gotta stop now damn it!
"Jake, do you mind if i stay here a little longer, to enjoy some quality dancing time with the girls while we're here? "
" Do whatever you want fiancee :) I think i'm just gotta go home and get write a little, i feel inspired" he says smiling at me.
"Okay, take the car, Hanna or Aria will take me back home or i'll sleep around here" I laugh and kiss him
i take him back to our car and run back inside.
This really has to stop, i have to find him.