Funny how love works (A Spoby Story) [COMPLETED]

Chapter 22: How do you feel ?

Hanna's PoV

I don't know what to say, i don't know. I feel that i have to tell Caleb but, i just don't know if he'll understand. How can you understand what you didn't see? What you didn't have to do? What you haven't gone trough?
I had trouble doing it when i got out of the doll house, now i have to do it again.
Look at him, next to me, trying to comfort me. He's so good to me, i wish i were strong enough to tell him everything... I think i need time.
Why is it that hard ? I try to speak but no sound is coming out, it's like that tape is still glued to my lips. I can still hear him yell, her trying to get out. Toby was so hurt and devastated, he felt so bad for her, he's blaming himself for this but he shouldn't. We're all responsible for this, or maybe I am responsible for this.
Oh my god, i should have done something, i could have stopped Wren... I could have-
Oh no, i'm hyperventilating. Shit.

- Hanna? Hanna breathe, breathe for me. Nice and easy. In and out, in and out. Says Caleb in a panicky voice.
I try to calm down and hug him, i'm so happy that he's here for me, he always was. I feel tears coming out of my eyes, i don't care, i just want to stay here, in his arms, safe.
He pulls out

- Honey, i know you don't want to talk about what happened and i respect your decision. But you can let it go, you can let it all go i'm here for you i won't judge Hanna.

- I- I'm gonna tell you Caleb, you deserve to know.

- Hanna you don't have to-

- I want to. I take his hand and hold it with mines.

- I just want to tell you before you start that, the police found something, a video. We watched it with the Em, Ali, Aria and Ezra.

- So you know ?

- I know what happened with Spencer yes... But then, the video cut and since you weren't found in the same room as her, i don't know what happened with you. I don't know who you feel and how you ended up with Toby.

- I. I'm going to explain everything. But you have to promise to stay calm and not to get mad.

- Han'. I'll never blame you or be mad at you after what you've been through today, after what you had to watch. Why would I be mad about something ? You're okay, the baby is okay....
he puts his hand on my stomach. I suddenly see flashes of this morning. The rope against my belly, him, touching me.

- Please don't touch me Caleb. I ask nicely
Please just, give me some time

- I'm so sorry. Does it hurt ?

- No it's just that, i need some time to process this...

- Hanna are you sure you want to tell me about today ? Maybe you need some rest

-No! If i explain i'll be able to talk about it and everything will be alright.
He doesn't reply so I start the "story"

" Ok so, when we arrived to the building, we knocked on the apartment door this bastard Marco gave us and after a few second, i remember falling on the floor with Spencer and Toby. I woke up in a room with Spencer, naked and we didn't know why. We tried to open the door but we were stuck. We ended up crawling in the ventilations. At sole point, i didn't see a whole and fell on a mattress in the room Wren was in. Spencer did the same. We didn't know what was happening at first but Wren was the reason all of this happened.
He started telling us of he wanted Spencer, how he has missed her. It was awful. I don't know if you've seen this on the video but, Toby was forced to watch the whole thing. No of us could screen or talk, or else he'll freeze Toby to death.
When he was... finished." *i start crying*

- Hanna you can do this *he hold my hands*. Get it out, you can, i know you can.

- After, he told us that i wasn't suppose to be there. He planned the whole thing for Spencer and Toby but i wasn't useful. Toby got mad ans started tell Wren what an asshole he was, how Spencer didn't care about him, how the fact that he... that he raped her didn't mean that she enjoyed it. Wren took it the wrong way obviously and wanted Toby AND Spencer to suffer now. He wanted them both the feel "betrayed " by the other or something... He. He made someone take me to the Room Toby was locked in and told us to....