Tw: marijuana and self hatred
++ PATTY'S VIEW ++
After explaining the shower to Danny, I walk back into the bedroom to re-spark the joint.
I was already high, but that didn't stop me from ending this joint and rolling another.
Even over the sound of the water, I can hear Danny crying. It took every muscle in my body to not check on him, that he was a big boy and could handle this. He needs a good cry right now which didn't involve me.
Laying back down on the bed, my mind starts to wander. The cutting was never this bad, I have no idea how the stop these without hurting Dan even more or making him uncomfortable.
When Danny returns into the room, his hair in in a messy bun and he's in a big t-shirt and gym shorts.
"Can I?" Danny asks and I nod, handing the joint over and telling him to finish it while I roll another for him.
Even through his façade of being okay, I can see the tear streaks and the redness around his eyes.
Danny finishes the roach and lets out a massive cloud of smoke. He looked over at me and smiles a little.
"Why do you care so much?" Danny asks, which catches me off guard.
"Uh- I guess it's because I see you as my only friend. I can't imagine my life without you. I don't know if anyone else could see their life without you either." I say, finishing the joint and sparking it for Danny.
Danny's silent.
Maybe getting the answer he wanted.
When he reaches for the joint, I can see fresh cuts on his opposite arm. He makes no mind of me staring at them as he starts letting out smoke rings.
"After this joint I'm going to bed downstairs." Danny says once he's at the roach.
"No!" I say suddenly which makes Danny jump slightly.
"I mean- I want you up here. Your the guest, I can sleep on the couch downstairs." I say, and Danny laughs.
"We can share this bed then." Danny talks through the smoke in his mouth.
Danny gets under the blankets with me, cuddling into my side immediately. He's asleep within minutes, which gives me the quick moment to kiss his forehead.