" Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; It dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
Faith
The next morning I woke up with a smile on my face only to find the space next to me, empty.
I got up and wrapped the blanket around me to hide my nakedness. Chris wasn't there though his room was back to normal.
Chris came out of the bathroom shirtless using a towel to dry his hair. I blushed when I saw the hickey on his collarbone.
I looked up and saw a frown on his face.
"What's wrong ?" I asked concerned.
"What we did was wrong it was a mistake, all of it." He whispered.
I was controlling the tears that were threatening to fall down my face.
"What do you want us to do?" I asked already knowing his answer.
"I want us to forget about it.
I took a deep breath not wanting to show him the pain he was causing me.
I nodded before speaking.
"I should leave."
"I think you should."
I quickly got dressed in last night's clothes and l dashed out of his room. As soon as I was out of the house. I let the tears fall freely.
I ran inside my own house passing the living room.
"Fai—" but I didn't let Beth finish as I dashed to my room and locked myself in before breaking down.
Ten minutes later Alex came in opening the door with a spare key, he got it after the last thunderstorm incident He came and sat next to me on the floor.
"What happened kitten? Why are you crying?" He asked wiping away my tears.
"I gave him a second chance Alex. I tried and I thought we could be friends again. But.......But we can't.We never could. I let him in and he shattered me all over again" I whispered bringing my knees to my chest.
"What did he do? Do I need to bring my rifle ?" he tried to joke but failed miserably.
"I'm going to go and visit Mom. I'll be back before you leave tonight."
Alex didn't look convinced leaving me alone but he did eventually. And that was what I needed. To be left alone.
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Chris
I was sitting in the garden when Alex came and punched me hard on my cheek.I clutched it and turned to look at him.
"What the hell Man?!" I yelled at him.
"I don't know what you did this time but you better fix it. It took me five whole years to get Faith to finally learn to believe in herself when you broke her once again and that too when I convinced her to give you a second chance. You broke her all over again!" he yelled.
"What are you talking about?" I asked confused.
"You broke her heart once and drove her to do things I can't even talk about. You destroyed her. And when we shifted back I thought you had changed over the years So I asked Faith to give you a chance, but you definitely proved me wrong You broke her again."
I stayed silent and tried to make sense of his words. How could I break Faith? It was true she hated me when she shifted back but sometime in the middle she stopped. She tried to be sweet to me and behaved with me like she did with everyone else.
"I'm leaving tonight for New York and won't be back the entire Summer. I've never been away from her for so long before and I definitely can't leave her like this. Fix whatever you did. What did you do anyways?" He asked at the end of his rant.
"We slept together." I blurted out. His eyes widened in shock.
"We had already made out twice before this and everything. She would run away rejecting me. I was tired of being rejected. It broke my heart so this time before she could reject me again I rejected her," I concluded.
Alex stayed silent for a moment before speaking up.
"I don't think she meant to reject you, Chris. I think both of you should talk about this. She's in the graveyard right now" he said before walking away leaving me alone with my thoughts.
The drive to the graveyard was the longest drive ever. I didn't know what I was going to do when I saw her, what was I going to say.
I opened the big gates to the graveyard and saw her sitting crossed leg near her mother's grave. Silent tears were rolling down her cheek. I went and sat next to her.
" You must hate me now " I blurted out before I could stop myself.
I don't hate you, Chris . I'm just disappointed that you turned into everything you said you'd never be." she whispered after what felt like a century.
I looked shamefully at the ground.
"What did I do wrong to deserve what you did to me?" She asked with a sad expression.
I didn't speak. I couldn't
"Remember after my mother's death I blocked everyone out."
I nodded. How could I forget?
"I needed my best friend then. I was so young and my mother had just passed away. I needed someone to pull me out of the dark place, I was shipping into. I needed you. So I waited and waited but you never came. Why didn't you come, Chris ?" She asked.
I finally looked up at her and the minute I did I wished I hadn't.
"I don't know." I finally answered back. It was the truth I didn't know.
"One day I finally decided that I had mourned enough. So I pulled myself together for you. Not for my dad who had been worried sick, but you. But when I came to school that day it was like I had entered hell and you were satan himself. You had changed. You became a bully and mean and treated people as if they were your servants and you were the king himself.
She laughed. Not a pleasant laugh but a disappointed one.
"I thought you would be happy to see me. I remember the day perfectly. I came to hug you but you pushed me to the ground. I was shocked. You called me a fat, pathetic loser. I demanded what had gotten into you but you just shrugged and walked away leaving me on the ground."
It was as if I was being stabbed each time she stated the truth. It was all true. I was a dick back them.
"That was only the beginning of my misery. You picked on me every day. Tripped me in the hallway, took my lunch money stating I didn't need it since I was already too fat, gave me your homework and the list goes on and on. You even got the entire school against me."
Taking a deep breath she continued.
"Slowly and slowly I started to feel insecure. I hated to look at myself in the mirror. I felt like a fat, shallow good for nothing kind of person. So I stopped eating. From 3 meals a day I went to one and that to became zero. I would cringe at the sight of food, soon I became anorexic."
I didn't know what to say. I was speechless.
"But that wasn't even the worst of all. I remember I was sitting on the swing set in the part alone when you came and asked me to the annual dance. I was ecstatic. I thought you wanted to repair the friendship you had broken so long ago. But boy was I wrong.
I dressed up in my best clothes and tried to look pretty for you. You came and picked me up from my place telling me how beautiful I looked.
At the dance you made me smile and laugh. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I belonged. People treated me differently because I was with you. It was as if I was royalty. We went to the park and talked like old times. It was all perfect. It was the happiest day of my life.
"Until the clock struck twelve. Just like Cinderella you turned, but into the beast you were. Everything was going perfect and you leaned in to kiss me. It was my first kiss ever. It was as if fireworks erupted in the sky, but all of a sudden you pushed me away wiping your mouth as if it had touched dirt. I looked at you confused until the ice-cold water was poured on me. Your friends laughed as I shrieked as the cold water hit me and you looked at me disgusted."
I sucked in a sharp breath.
"You said that it was all a dare and you could never like a loser like me. You called me pathetic just like my mother and that was the breaking point for me. I ran home in that chilly weather as I heard your laughter echo in the distance. It was all too much and I couldn't take it anymore."
"What did you do?" I asked scared of the answer. She gave me a sad smile.
"I jumped from my bedroom window as the night thundered. My room was on the fourth floor then so the impact should have killed me instantly —."
But I couldn't take it anymore. I yelled 'No' cutting her off.
"Please don't continue," I begged but she did anyway.
"But I did not die. My father found me just in time and rushed me to the hospital. I woke up after a week. My dad was worried sick. I told him that I didn't want to live him here anymore.He didn't ask me any questions and we moved. But that night had scared me so much that I even got Astraphobia. I couldn't sleep for nights as the dreams kept playing. If it wasn't for Alex I would have never recovered."
I looked at her with wide eyes. I had shattered her it was true. She tried to commit suicide because of me. This was all too much.
"I don't know what to say." I finally said.
"You don't have to say anything, I know you've changed over the years. You're not the same person anymore."
We stayed silent for some time before I finally spoke up.
"I know I don't deserve this but I'm asking you scratch that I'm begging you for a second chance," I begged on my knee as tears threatened to spill down my face.
She stayed silent for a very long time before the words I had been wanting to hear left her mouth.
"Okay, " She whispered.
I instantly hugged her out of joy.
"Thank you, thank you, Thank you! I promise you won't regret this!"
She laughed, a carefree laughed which made me smile wider.
"Friends?" I asked sticking out my pinky just like the first time we met.
"Friends," She said entwining them together.