Chapter 41
(Sophia's pov)
I quickly step away from Noah when he looks up like a deer in headlights. He relaxes and casually states while backing up slightly, "I was going to....call Skye over but you kept on talking not letting me say she is in washroom."
"That still doesn't allow you to come in my room while I am changing, and you could've just walked past my room." I say adjusting my sleeves and fixing my hair.
"Yea....well I didn't." He says, failing to defend himself. Noah scratches the back of his head and slowly backs out of my room.
"Yea umm see you tomorrow- I mean downstairs." He says and quickly turns around before I see his cheeks turning red and shutting the door behind him. Unlucky for him I'll be teasing him about it later.
I chuckle at him and start off my makeup. I play some music and check the time thinking where the hell Skye is. And speak of the devil and Skye quickly barges into my room, looking for me finding me in front of my vanity. I swear she looked like that spongebob meme on the internet but with a huge grin on her face.
"Guess what just happened!" Skye exclaims and I furrow my eyebrows at her in why she was so excited.
"What did you see?" I say going back to applying some powder on my face and blush.
"I walked in on Lucus and Evaline the other room, you know..... well almost cause I barged it at the wrong time." She says and wiggles her eyebrows and then frowns at her timing.
I look away from the mirror with big eyes and gape my mouth open with a huge smile. "You're joking right!?" I say getting up from my seat ignoring the part she barges in like a mad women on crack.
"Please I would never joke about this! Lucus and Evaline are hundred percent attracted to each other." Skye exclaims back. We both have our little fan girl moment, inwardly squealing and then look back at each other with mischief.
"Are you thinking what I am thinking?" I say to her.
"If it's about mentioning me walking in on them during my speech at the party, then yeah." Skye says to me.
"That's even more better than what I was thinking, it's a plan." I say to Skye and she nods at me with a glint of mischief in her eyes.
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Skye gets off the stage and quickly mentions her encounter with Lucus and Evaline just before, with them currently looking like tomatoes at their table. I smile at the two as they look anywhere but at eachother.
Lucus gets up to pretend to attend a call, quickly getting out of the room from the huge embarrassment and Evaline takes a big gulp of the glass of sparkling apple cider in her hands, squinting slightly. A few minutes later she heads the same direction and bumps into Lucus, hitting her head with his. Her cheeks turn even red when she finds out who she bumped into and quickly walks out the door after muttering 'sorry', with Lucus heading the other direction.
I turn my attention to Ethan who was now walking towards me with concern written on his face. He reaches me and lends out his elbow for me to wrap around and I do so. We start to walk towards the stage and he says:
"Sophia how are feeling?" Ethan says with concern in his eyes since I told mom I was going to speak after Skye.
"I'm fine Ethan, besides I made sure to take my meds today after getting ready." I say with a smile, not often Ethan shows this side of him usually we are just fighting.
"If you feel unwell anytime during the party make sure to tell me alright." He says to me after letting me go towards the mike in front of the room to give my speech.
I smile at everyone as they watch me go up the steps. Ethan stops to stand beside mom and she hands me the mike and tapping my shoulder in reassurance. I eye everyone in the room finding all my friends near the stage and smile at them.
I find Noah by the chocolate fountain, eying my moves and then turns his attention to the waiter giving him his strawberries. I then move my eyes away and see journalists that my mom invited.
I let out a shaky breathe before starting my speech, "I want to thank everyone who made it to my party. I'm excited for my future at Yale and glad a few of my friends will be attending with me. I would like to thank my mom for organizing this party today and also her best friend, Roselyn for designing this beautiful dress. I would also like to thank the rest of my family and friends for believing in me when I did not."
I stop and then look up feeling my eyes watering and chuckle at myself, "I'm getting emotional at what I about to share.....I've been hiding this secret from everyone here especially my friends. And I know after I say this my friends will throw a fit for not sharing this and probably stop talking to me but here it goes."
"Last year I didn't go to New york just because I wanted to broaden my horizons for my studies, try out modeling, and change the scenery around me but because....I needed to go to New york for my treatments for a disease I am fighting for almost two years now named Coronary Artery Disease or also known as CAD."
I immediately hear gasps and find all my friends looking at me with emotions of betrayal, hurt, and sadness. I feel my mom hug me from the side and I continue on with my speech. This was exactly how I imagined it since I decided to share this with everyone after getting out of the hospital.
"I started showing symptoms during June 2014 and I was diagnosed August 2014. I started my treatments in LA for one month and my family decided that it was better for me to do my treatments in New york, where my aunt works as a cardiologist. It was a miracle I even got into Yale since I missed about 5 weeks of school because of my treatments and rehab. After getting out of the hospital I started catching up on all my work in school and haven't shown any those serious signs, but yes once and a while those symptoms come back but nothing as serious as before." I quickly say reassuring my friends specifically when their expressions change.
"I've been hiding this for a very long time now and hope the people closest to me can forgive me. I wanted to share a little thing I wrote while I was getting my treatments done. To help people dealing with this and to allow myself to open up to the world about this well kept secret." I open up the piece of paper in my hands and feel a jab at my heart. I take a deep breathe and continue on with my speech, knowing very well it was going to hurt after this:
As I lay in this bed feeling my eyes close into the darkness, wondering if it is my time
Pills of all sorts, big needles, and rehab is even worse
Sleepless nights in hospital beds, homesickness, and wanting a familiar face coming through the door
Time passing by as I watch beautiful sunsets keeping me going and visits from family every week
Funny home videos I watch time to time and pictures of my friends on my phone
But I still feel jabs in my chest and I still hear soft sobs outside my room whenever mom visits
I still find myself crying to sleep and wondering if I will wake up
Smiles that don't meet my eyes and pain all over my body, my heart broken in the worst way possible
And most of all wanting this everlasting nightmare to end.
"Thank you all for coming to my party and have a great night." I say after looking up with a small smile and hand the mike to my mom, not meeting her eyes before getting off the stage and running off to the restroom.
I push past everyone and bump into someone hard chest and instantly feel electricity shocks running up my arms. I knew immediately who it was and hated how my body reacted from even a little touch.
I look up to see Noah. I see his eyes filled with sadness and his mouth clenched. I offer him a small smile and quickly speed off. I barge in to the party hall's restroom to find nobody inside and close the door shut, forgetting to lock it.
I look at the mirror trying to follow the breathing techniques I learned at rehab. I felt even more pain in my heart and kept smiling through it but I couldn't help it but to break down. I try muffle the voice but it didn't help. I run my hands through my hair, "Stop crying." I keep mumbling to myself but didn't help. I have to stay strong and keep going. But once in a while the pain always remerged, reminding me of the pain I will have for he rest of my life.
I drop to the floor and hold a hand to my heart, allowing myself to cry.
'Stop crying!' I yell inside my head while I rock back and forth not wanting to feel even more pain.
"Sophia." I hear someone sigh and immediately kneels down to hold me. I open my eyes to see Noah's face just before he hugs me tightly. I continue crying but I don't push him away. My arms remain in place just feeling pain and emptiness in my chest.
"I'm fine." I say to him but immediately give in to him and clutch onto his suit so tightly, afraid my heart was going to explode.
"Please ma-ke it stop." My voice cracks and I breathe in more air, feeling even worse. Noah replies to me by hugging me even closer. He holds me, whispering a few reassuring words to me. I clutch onto him even tighter when I feel even more pain in my heart, when I thought it wasn't possible. We remain like this until my eyes drift off asleep but my broken heart remains.
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(Noah's pov)
Sophia finishes her speech and looks up, she hands the mike back to her mother and runs off the stage. She runs towards my direction and bumps into me. Sophia looks up with the most heartbroken smile I have ever seen and quickly runs away.
I stand there allowing her speech run through my head and couldn't help but replay the poem she wrote in my head. I feel the back of my eyes water and quickly run after Sophia, finding her running into the women's restroom. I run in without hesitating anything but to hold on to Sophia as she lets her walls down for only a little while.
"Sophia." I breathe out and my heart skips a beat when I see her broken on the floor. Her makeup running down her face and hair messed up. I couldn't help but say to myself how beautiful she looked even without her breathtaking smile and glinting eyes.
I drop down to the floor next to her and hug her so tightly afraid she was going to slip through my fingers. She doesn't hug me until moments later.
"I'm fine." Sophia whispers but I shake my head at her, pulling her closer. She hugs me and bursts out crying, making my heart shatter even more of it was even possible.
"Please ma-ke it stop." Sophia says laying her head on my shoulder and a hand to her heart. I run her back so she can let out all her pain.
Sophia keeps crying until I hear her stop crying and falling asleep in my arms with tears still in her eyes.
I pick her up from the floor and hold her in my arms in bridal style. Even in her sleep she looked like the most beautiful person on the face of this planet. I rest her head against my chest and look up to see the rest of the gang watching us two. I look at Skye and see tears running down her face from Sophia's revelation to us all.
"Let's get her home." Sophia's brother, Ethan says with a guarded look eyeing me with a glare, knowing the past between Sophia and I.
He takes her from my arms, choosing not to argue with me and takes off, out the door towards his car in the parking lot. "I'm coming too." Skye says to him and Ethan nods at her.
Skye follows him just after looking at me with hurt. I open my mouth wanting to say something to Skye but I close it not knowing what to say. She walks past me with scoff, hitting my shoulder with hers in the process and I see everyone watching me observingly.
I head out after them to get in my own car and drive very far away from this awful night.
I reach my car and see Ethan's car heading out the gates. I sigh and get in my car. I start the car and replay the events of tonight in my head not forgetting the broken look on Sophia's face tonight and her words. Not often the people closest to her see her at when she is most vulnerable.
'I'm fine'
'Please make it stop'
'Feeling my eyes close into the darkness, wondering if it is my time'
'Pain all over my body, my heart broken in the worst way possible.'
I grunt and hit the steering wheel in front of me.
'It's all my fault for causing her pain and I shouldn't have done what I have did to her. I shouldn't have said those things to her. I shouldn't have let her go.'
I drive out the parking lot and head towards my spot where I find the most peace. I drive fast outdriving the cars ahead of me, venting my anger while driving. My thoughts run in my head over and over again, making me even more restless to get to my favorite spot.
I get there in about less than fifteen minutes and drive up the path to let out all my anger and problems over the cliff. I pull over and stand over to yell out my problems.
"I hate myself for hurting Soph! I hate how things are between us two! I hate how I messed with Skye's feelings! I hate my father for cheating on my mother! I hate how much he has torn apart our family! I hate myself for not telling Soph about my feelings that day in New york!"
I stop myself and realize what I just confessed. I look down at the lights all over LA and couldn't help but feel relaxed after confessing all these thoughts in my head. I sit back down on the top of the hood of my car, drained from all the bad energy I let out of me. I couldn't help but acknowledge the fact I still can't let go of this certain brunette.
I need to help my mom realize holding onto her memories with my father won't do her any good. I have to stop stringing Skye along and confess I don't love her the way she wants me to but as a friend. And most importantly I am going to tell Sophia about my feelings for her and this time I wasn't going to back out on telling her that.
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New chapter! Finally I know right. I'm seriously going to finish this book over the winter break coming up. Ending the book with a twist and I'm not sure if you all will like it.
Check out Fates Intertwined, I will be updating it as soon as I finish this book, which will be January.
I have already posted the prologue and chapter 1 go check it out.
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-T