Zayn
The best way to describe the way our tour works, is to think of a bunch of five year olds running around with their parents chasing them down to take the handfuls of dirt out of their mouths. It didn't make sense, but our complete childish sides came out when we had arenas to ourselves. Paul was currently running after Harry who had stolen his phone. It honestly was like watching a mother chase her child. The only difference? They got paid to deal with us.
We had been running around and wasting all our energy for at least an hour, before I called it quits. Louis, however, seemed full force still and was trying to hijack a forklift. I knew better than to stick around and watch the events unfold, so I decided to find the kitchen.
"You look like you just ran a marathon," Capris grinned as she fell into step with me. "Are you going to get food?"
"Yeah," I replied.
"Same. Mind if I walk with you?"
"Not at all. How're you enjoying tour so far? It's a bit different than every day life," I chuckled a bit as we made our way through the halls. We passed a few crew members, all of whom were too busy doing their job to pay attention to us.
"Oh, only a tiny bit. I mean, I totally get catered food every day and have to wear a name badge everywhere I go at home. This is typical stuff. It's almost like I never even left," she said which made me snort. "It's weird, though. I have nothing to do but hang out with people I've never met and try to come up with songs that have to do with your lives. And it doesn't help that Louis hates me."
"Louis doesn't hate anyone," I denied.
"He sure doesn't like me. But enough about me, how's Joelle? When is she coming to visit? I really liked her, we had a lot in common, I think." Capris changed subjects just as we came upon the room that had 'Sarah's Kitchen' written on a sheet of paper that was taped to the door. It was relatively empty, except for Josh and Dan who were comparing Keek videos.
The girl flashed into my mind, the brown curly hair with those green eyes that couldn't have been any greener. I could practically feel my heart sink into my toes. "Haven't talked to her lately."
"When you say lately, how lately is that?" Capris asked and when I turned to her, she had her right eyebrow upwards and I huffed out in annoyance. She already seemed to know the answer.
"Since we left."
"That was over two weeks ago."
I could hear it in her voice that she was curious. She didn't understand our relationship, just like anyone else I had told about it. They all saw it as some kind of friends with benefits thing, when it all reality it was the complete opposite. We had our first kiss almost a month into the relationship, and other than that? All we did was hold hands. I hardly call those 'benefits'. It didn't make sense to people, and it was starting to confuse myself as well. It made so much sense in the beginning, because all I wanted to do was get to know her. Find out what she was really like, because her silence was what stood out to me the most.
She seemed so happy with her life the way it was, and I liked that. She didn't come crawling to me for attention, instead she let me do the chasing. But now that we had been together, and I had seen slivers of her real self, I just wanted to know her even more. When I met Blake, I felt the difference in Joelle's stance. She was so comfortable around him, she had absolutely no walls up. She had told me that she was adopted, but there was no way her family wasn't her family.
But since I had left for tour, I had heard nothing from her. No text, no call, no tweet. (Okay, I wasn't expecting a tweet from her. She didn't even have a twitter.) She didn't reply to any of my messages to her, and I was starting to feel the rejection. It was like she resolved herself to be back in her own life where I had nothing to do with it. It physically hurt to be ignored.
"Listen, there is something going on with you and I just want to help. You don't have to tell me, but I write songs. Anything you tell me will simply be stored in the back of my mind as a possible song selection." Capris said while loading a plate with a peanut and butter jelly sandwich, as well as a coke. I followed her example, grabbing a banana and ham and cheese bistro. We both headed to the corner table, where I collapsed into the seat with a sigh.
"Maybe it just has to do with Taryn. I don't know." I thought I said it quietly enough for her not to hear, but I guess I had said it louder than intended.
"Taryn?"
"A girl who screwed with my life." I replied.
"Okay, I understand that you're not good with talking about your feelings. I can see that you're the one who listens to everyone else, you probably know everyone's secrets because you can sit through a conversation without yawning. But how much do those boys actually know about you? Other than the basics?" Capris crossed her arms, sitting back in her seat to interrogate me.
There was some truth to her words. I could tell you everything that had happened to Niall in the past year - partially because Niall was an open book - or tell you without hesitance what Liam thought of the fans reactions to 'a girlfriend picture' getting leaked. When it came to my life, everything they knew was because of other people or had been forced out of me. Hardly had I been the one to unload my emotions onto someone else. "I don't like people knowing my business."
"So instead you're going to keep it to yourself until one day you explode all over everyone and that's when you go to rehab and become a washed up has been celebrity." Capris' lip quirked upward in a smirk. "You don't have to talk to me. We don't really know each other. But you should talk to one of your friends, they're more willing to listen than you think."
Capris, without another word, sunk her teeth into the sandwich. She had basically just stated that the conversation had come to an end, but I couldn't concentrate on the food anymore. She had a point, everything seemed to bubble up until finally I burst. "Taryn was on the X Factor."
The girl finished chewing, before she made eye contact with me. Her face seemed impassive, but I could tell that she was silently telling me to continue.
"Taryn Woods. She has this fantastic voice and it's incredible. She made it to the top twelve and we met when we went back for some promo for the performance we were to do. She was quiet and looked like an angel. We talked, and it started out with just talking. I hadn't had an official girlfriend since we had competed ourselves, and she kind of knew what I had gone through. I knew what she was going through. We shared our numbers and… I don't know, we just got together."
"I think I remember her." Capris said when I had been silent for a few moments.
I nodded. "We dated and I thought things were getting serious. She was incredible; funny, talented, serious, and she was interested in me. The boys and I had mini tour, so I was gone for a few months after she had gotten second place. We kept in touch, but she seemed a lot more distant than when she had been competing. Everyone told me it was just because she was missing me and I believed them."
I had to stop, because all the memories were flooding back way too quickly for my liking. I had managed to stuff all these recollections in a locker way back in the furthest part of my brain possible. Capris was patient.
"There are a lot of rumors that get spread about the One Direction lads, we usually just laugh about them or ignore them completely. They're all usually about how much action we get and how many girls we have, but it's easy to ignore so long as your friends and family all know they're lies. It's really hard when someone you thought you could trust, creates her own rumors. I got a call from management to look up some youtube thing. Taryn had an interview, and they asked about me - which is not unusual. It was like the second my name was mentioned, she contorted her face into this horribly pathetic sad face."
"I don't like the way this is going," Capris sighed, looking sad herself.
"She stated that we had broken up, which was news to me, and that it was due to my 'inability to keep it in my pants'. She said that she knew I had been cheating on her since I went on tour, and how it absolutely broke her heart. How she was still completely in love with me, and she would always leave a part of her with me, but that it was only right that everyone knew." I wrapped up the story, before adding the last part. The real kicker of the whole situation. "Then she went on to talk about how her newest single, Heartbreaker, was about me."
"Wait, how come I never heard about this? I keep up with the local gossip…" Capris said as she thought back to the previous year.
"Management got the interview terminated quite quickly. I haven't seen, nor talked to, Taryn since then. From what I've heard, she's tanked and is in rehab for drug use. I really don't want to see her, it's just hard when everyone I know feels so sympathetic for me. I just want to move on and Joelle is perfect."
"Zayn, from the way it sounds, you're in love with Joelle."
Maybe it was because someone else said it, maybe it's because I realized that I was completely over Taryn, maybe it's because I realized that I wanted everyone to know how incredible Joelle truly was. I don't know what it was, but the sudden realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was, without a doubt, in love with Joelle Parker.
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CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHTTTTTTTT
Lightning will be updated tomorrow! It won't align with this chapter however, it will be set a few weeks prior to this. ALSO! GO CHECK OUT MY SHORT STORY SEPTEMBER! :)
UPDATE: Sunday
I do hope that 2014 treats you all well, and there will be lots of new projects coming from me! Woo!
DEDICATION TO A COMMENTER :)
Don't step on knives.