(Joshua's POV - Sat. 10 May 2014)
Should I wear a tie? No, I told them that it was going to be casual, so I decide to discard the tie and to be happy with a dark blue business suit and a white button-up shirt. I even leave the first button of my shirt open. Taking a last look at myself in the walk-in closet's full-length mirror, I sigh at how tired I look. The last three weeks have been quite stressful and proving and it clearly shows on my face. My skin is paler than usual; my pupils are contracted; even my hair won't stay in their usual perfect shape and once again, I didn't shave. Well, I'll do that later on. The only thing that has gotten better is my ankle; it is still a bit sore but I no longer limp which is a good thing, although Cam advised that I should wait for another couple of weeks before I start working out again and take it easy at first.
Tonight I am taking Liz and Tony out for dinner downtown Chicago. It has been a long time since I have last invited them out and I still feel like I need to make up for my recent bad moods. Tony has finally stopped sulking since his little spying game in my office a week ago and I must say that the atmosphere is much better like this because a sulking Tony is much more painful and disagreeable than a sprained ankle. That man means a lot to me; he represents much more than an employee and I value him as a father figure; he has saved my butt more than once and I am sure that he will again in the future. Therefore, being in conflict with him never sits well with me, so I am relieved that things have gone back to normal on that side. Now, I am going to enjoy a relaxed dinner with two people that I consider like family, and it will keep me busy and away from work or worries before they drop me off at the club after our dinner.
I spent the day in my study working and checking the first reports from the audit firm. The week has been agitated and I needed to catch up on emails too. On Monday I was in a full-day meeting with the audit guys to define the plan of actions and what I was expecting from them. Needless to say that it was quite tense on the finance floors for the rest of the week as the auditors kept asking for more and more documents and justifications. This week they started with taxes and tendering departments, but it seems like they haven't found anything dubious here, so we will wait and see what they find next week with Accounts Receivables and Accounts Payables and then with Derek on the P&Ls. Seeing how tense two of my guys looked on Thursday when I came back from Boston - damned trip that lasted one more day than I had planned - I surely hope that my fears don't turn out true or else I'll have some people fired very shortly. In the meantime, I have put Tony on their cases and his team is performing deeper investigations on these two men because I really have a bad feeling about the whole situation.
And yet, this is peanuts next to my worries about Liam. As Aaron had foreseen, Plan A was a fiasco. His first idea was that I should plainly and simply come out to Liam but his fear was that I wasn't going to do it well and unfortunately, he was right. I pretty much fucked up actually. He said that I should just corner Liam and open my heart to him, but this is definitely not something that I am good at. I was waiting for the perfect opportunity and I really thought he would be willing to listen to me, so on Thursday, when Ally decided to call it a day early for once, I asked him to meet me in my office, but the little minx ran away! When I noticed that he had gone offline, it was too late and he had already left.
Since he wasn't answering his phone, I thought that the best option would be to go to his place and leave him no other option than to listen to me. Well unfortunately, the door was an option for him not to listen to me and despite my pleas for him to let me in, he remained mute and ignorant to my pounding on his door. What I needed to tell him couldn't be said with a door between us. I wanted to have him face to face and be able to see his reaction and emotions. I could have waited for him outside his building the following morning, but I wasn't sure that he would accept to get in the car and I certainly didn't want to cause a scene in the middle of the street. I needed to take him by surprise.
It was much easier to catch him in the elevator; more precisely it was easier thanks to Tony who was able to let me know when he saw him get into the building on the video surveillance while I was hiding in the emergency staircase nearby the lifts; this allowed me to prompt out of hiding place at the perfect moment and join him by surprise. I know I might sound unfair and childish, but I have gotten so despaired to have him back that I am willing to try just anything, however ridiculous it may be.
However, I messed up. Again. I have become so entrenched in my lack of feelings that I wasn't able to express what I really meant and my I love you passed off as a cold statement rather than a passionate declaration. I sincerely meant it when I told him but it was just bereaved of emotion and Liam didn't buy it. Even I felt it. If he had given me a chance to explain the situation and why it is so hard for me to express myself, maybe I would have been able to make him understand, but he went haywire and I let him go before he would crash down. I didn't want to upset or scare him more than he was and I am now counting on Plan B.
Plan B is a longer term process, quite risky and it involves Ed, one of Liam's submissive friends. Of course Ed doesn't know that we are going to use him but his part of the job is important. On Saturday evening, Aaron told Ed that Liam and I were over - he obviously couldn't hide it to the guys there for much longer anyway. He also told him that he is worrying for Liam - which was true in any case - and that it would probably do him some good to see some people... go out... party at the Black Moon maybe... and Ed immediately rose to the bait. He said he was going to text Liam and hassle him until he would accept to go out.
Aaron's idea is that when Liam sees his friends, even if only at the Black Moon, he will enjoy himself enough; he will progressively think about returning to the Black Diamond and finally realize that he misses it. Aaron believes that he will remember some good memories at the private club, with me. My friend insisted that by then, I will have to make sure that I am more often at the club so that Liam can see me when he finally decides to go back to the Diamond. He is counting on my presence to revive Liam's lust and feelings for me. Hence the importance of plan A... Even if I messed it up, Liam does know that that I love him and he will be able to put two and two together in the end. It might take some time but I will exert myself to patience and give him the time he needs.
I don't expect him to return to the Diamond until a few more weeks but I will still go there tonight after my dinner with Liz and Tony. This week, I also realized how I have missed my friends; rejecting their help and refusing to listen to them was a big mistake and only complicated my return to them. Taking the decision was not so difficult, because I was at a point where I could no longer do without them; but apologizing was a different story. I may be strong, but I am far from perfect and pride is certainly one of my worst flaws; I admit. So pulling out some words of apology was anything but easy, but I made it and the wonderful friends I have immediately understood. I just wish I could manage this well with Liam... Anyway, tonight I would like to catch up with my friends and as the irredeemable stalker that I am, I might pay a visit to the Black Moon and watch my sweet boy from afar. Watching doesn't hurt, right? Be honest, Josh... Yeah, right... I can't promise that I will remain offside if some hunk dares approaching him.
Checking my watch, I realize that I am running late so I get back to my room to grab my duffle bag and hurry downstairs to meet Tony and Liz outside. Tony is wearing one of his eternal black suits - without the tie though - and Liz glimmers in a well fitted red dress that perfectly suits the curves of the forty-nine year-old woman. After a little playful fight about who is driving and who is sitting at the back, I end up on the passenger seat next to Tony while Liz sits at the back. The lady insisted on eating French and not at just any restaurant, but at Le Marais, Mark's restaurant. Liz has always had a little weakness for Mark - though she always loved Aaron and Camden too - just because he likes cooking and although I warned her that he wouldn't be here tonight, she persisted and claimed for Le Marais.
Once there, Matt, the manager and maitre d' of the restaurant, leads us to a quiet table and we enjoy a very refine dinner made of lobster as a starter and some meuniere-style sole and vapor potatoes as the main course while we laugh at some old memories of when I was younger. The evening goes along and I am not that much in hurry to go to the club, especially as Liam probably won't be at the Black Moon until eleven or midnight, like a lot of people usually do when they go out clubbing. Aaron didn't want to sound suspicious to Ed, so we don't even know if the plan worked and if he accepted to go out at all, but I would like to count on my luck. Tony has just finished his coffee when my phone starts ringing and when I see Aaron's name display on the screen, I apologize to Liz and Tony and answer.
"Aaron?" I simply whisper, hearing the muffled sound of music in the background.
"Josh, he's here. And I think you should get your ass here as soon as possible..." Aaron says with concern.
"It's not even even ten, Aaron. Are you sure it's him? Is he in the line to the Black Moon already?"
"He's not at the Black Moon, Josh. He's at the Diamond and..."
"At the Diamond?" I exclaim. Ed was supposed to take him the Black Moon... "What the hell is he doing there? Isn't Ed with him?"
"Yes, Ed is there too. I didn't see them arrive and go to the Subs' room and we only noticed him now and..."
"Shit, that sucks!" I exclaim and Liz gestures for me to shut up.
"Can you please let me finish my fucking sentences?" Aaron growls after I interrupted him twice. "He's dressed as a Sub, obviously a little drunk and openly chasing for some Dominant, Josh, so..."
"Drunk, you said? How could he be drunk? Your bartenders know that they can't serve more than... Did you say he was openly chasing for some Dominant??? What do you mean?" I whisper yell in the phone. I see Tony calling for the waiter to bring the bill and I pull out my wallet and credit card.
"He's not drunk I believe, but tipsy for sure. And yes, chasing is the word I used. So hurry up and get your ass here! He's gawking at Master Frank and flirting with Master Stefan at the same time..." Aaron explains as I pay while Liz and Tony already head out the restaurant. Thos two bastards of Stefan and Frank! I knew they always had a soft spot for my boy! I guess the rumors spread about our broken contract and they are taking the first opportunity to lay their hands on him.
"Hold on a second," I finish the payment and meet Tony and Liz outside. "Ron, can you try and keep him at bay until I get there?"
"I already advised Stefan and Frank to look for someone else, but you know that I can't do much more, Josh. Liam is not collared and he's a free Sub right now... but I'll try and talk to him." The valet has just arrived with the car and we all slip in.
"Come on Ron! Of course you can!" I growl. "If he's tipsy, you have every right to pull him out!"
"I can't be sure that he's drunk! I'm only assuming because this is just not like him to behave like he does... I'll go and speak with him and see what I can do."
"Thanks! We're just leaving Le Marais so we'll be there in less than thirty minutes hopefully." I hang up and turn to face both Liz and Tony with an apologetic face. "Sorry for interr..."
"Just shut up and think of a solution to clear the situation, Joshua. We had already finished and Liam is more important than anything else. Make sure you do this well, sweetheart," Liz says softly. I give her a grateful smile and turn back to face the road to do as she said while Tony speeds up.
What the hell got into him? I didn't mind what happened at the Lost Paradise two weeks ago because in the end it wasn't anything serious and anyway, however much it hurt me then, I couldn't blame him for having fun with other guys when we were not together anymore. Besides, at that time, I wasn't in the perspective of providing him with what I thought he wanted, that is a relationship made of love. I thought that our lifestyle didn't appeal to him anymore and that he was looking for a regular relationship. But this... Aaron said he was openly chasing for a new Dominant. Does that mean that this is what he wants after all? The more I rack my brain for a way to get out of this tricky situation, the more I am convinced that only one solution will work. He already has my love, but if he is seeking for dominance as well, trust me; he will get it.
When Tony parks behind the club twenty minutes later, I see that Camden is waiting for me outside. After nearly half an hour of brooding over what might be going on inside, I am quite tense and Tony warns me to take it easy as he follows me while Liz waits for us in the car.
"Aaron and Mark are watching over him, cooling things down. Josh... Stefan seems to be enjoying the situation a little too much," Cam says when we reach him, causing my blood to boil inside my veins.
"Fucker... I'll teach him to have views on what's mine..." I growl, trying to push past Camden but he blocks me, laying his hands on my chest.
"No, you don't. That's why I was waiting for you here; to warn you. You keep it cool and don't start a fight, Josh; or you're not going in. Aaron was clear, he doesn't want a fight here, and Mike got orders to block you out if you don't calm down. Liam is definitely loaded and I don't think he knows what he's doing. Aaron tried to speak with him but he didn't listen. So, do this smartly; just play your cards well. You know what Liam needs," Camden says, trying to reason me.
"Camden is right, Joshua. Starting a fight won't help. Besides, I don't think Liam would appreciate either," Tony adds rightfully. So I take a deep breath and nod in agreement. "Right, let's go now..."
"I'll be right back, Tony. You're not a member and you're not allowed in. Just go and wait with Liz," I tell him.
"Like hell I will. I trust you to be reasonable, but I don't know these guys Camden is talking about. I'm not leaving your side, now move on," he argues firmly, pushing me inside the club.
On our way to the Black Diamond entrance, we meet Mike who is the head of security at the club and a good acquaintance of Tony's. Both men nod at each other and of course Mike lets Tony follow us into the crowded room where some of the people are dancing while others are enjoying themselves in a different way on the couches. Ignoring what Tony might think about that, I immediately catch sight of Aaron and Mark who are dancing with a group of Subs and can hardly stifle a chuckle because this is something they very rarely do. The next thing I see is like a cold shower on me. My sweet blond head, dressed in black leather skinny pants and an unbuttoned black shirt, is wriggling his ass against Stefan's crotch and moving his arms like he is trying to fly. However, his expression is not what I would have expected. Apart from the fact that he indeed seems to be tipsy and out of it, he looks rather embarrassed by Stefan's arms around his waist. Or maybe is he about to get sick? Liam never does really well with alcohol...
The guys are right though. I need to calm down because I can't allow myself to start a fight for the good reason that this is not my style and that none of them is doing anything illegal. Liam is a free Sub and Stefan is clearly attracted to him. How could I blame him for that anyway...? Taking a deep breath, I slowly make my way to the dance floor, noticing Aaron's warning look, and I stop when I am only two meters away from Liam, folding my arms across my chest and waiting for him to finally notice me. When he does, he funnily seems to go into slow motion; his arms gradually stop moving and his hips slowly come to a stop; his face briefly turns blank before it flushes to a crimson red. I wouldn't be able to tell what exact emotions pass in his eyes within the next ten seconds, but they are numerous and it ends up with shame. Shame or repent? Not sure, but I take his lowering eyes as my cue to go into action.
"Come over here. Now!" I order. Surprisingly, and with little hesitation, he walks - or rather stumbles - to me.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Stefan growls, following Liam. His hand reaching for Liam's shoulder has my blood pressure increase but I will myself to keep my self-control.
"Mind your business, Stefan," I growl back, as someone - either Tony or Cam - grips my arm.
"That's exactly what I'm doing, Joshua. I've heard that this young man is no longer yours and what's more, he's wearing a white bracelet. You perfectly know what that means!" he argues with a sneer, still gripping my boy's shoulder. My heart tells me to knock him out, but my mind holds to much respect for Aaron. I am not going to let off stream in a fight tonight.
"You shouldn't listen to gossips. Liam is still mine and what's more, I think he's colorblind; he must have mistaken white for red," I reply sarcastically and very calmly while Stefan obviously seems to lose it a little.
"Gentlemen, please behave as the good Dominants that you are," Aaron suddenly intervenes, breaking our glaring contest. "Stefan, I told you already that you should focus on someone else," he scolds the Dominant before he turns to me with a scowl: "Josh, I want you to take Liam out before he passes out on the floor." All this time, Liam has been standing in front of me, keeping his eyes on the floor and wobbling a little on his feet. When he hears Aaron's words, he takes the last step to close the distance between us, breaking free from Stefan's hold, and goes to meekly lean into my side. Seeing how he looks unsteady, I rigidly grab his arm and lead him outside without another word. I walk him to Aaron's office, followed by Tony and Aaron while Mark and Camden stay behind to make sure that the tension deflates.
"I... I need... I need..." Liam stutters when we have arrived into Aaron's office.
"What do you need, Liam?" I ask him firmly, not loosening my grip on his arm.
"I think I need... a trash..." he says as his chest starts heaving. I swiftly drag him to the attached bathroom and he bends over the toilet just in time to empty his stomach. Sighing, I support his weight and make him kneel on the floor as he starts quivering, rubbing his back. Aaron joins us and hands him a bottle of fresh water once he seems to have calmed down. "Sorry about that..." he mumbles after he has rinsed his mouth, blushing with shame.
"How many drinks have you had?" I ask as I pull him back on his feet and lead him to the couch.
"Only two cocktails here... but... I had a few beers before I got here..." he shamefully admits.
"I could banish you for that, Liam," Aaron says dryly. "You have been a member for long enough to know the policy of the club! Do you realize what could have happened? You'd better make sure that it doesn't happen again!" Liam vaguely nods in answer, only an inch from passing out.
"We should take him back home," Tony then adds and Liam startles as if he hadn't noticed his presence before. "This boy is in no state to hear some lecture or whatever and he mostly needs a long night of sleep." Tony... the voice of reason and wisdom... But he is right. I don't think that Liam is registering anything at the moment.
Aaron goes quickly to the Subs' room and returns with Liam's bag while I help him back on his feet. I silently shrug him into his zipped sweat shirt and lead him outside and to the car. Liz concernedly looks at him as she gets out of the back seat to move to the passenger space. After some quick goodbyes and thanks with Aaron, I promise that I will call him tomorrow and slip in the back of the car with Liam. We haven't even passed the gates that Liam is already out, leaning on my side, so I wrap an arm around his shoulder and sigh with mixed relief and frustration. I scowl at Tony's smirk in the rearview mirror and it only makes him chuckle as he grabs Liz's hand and focuses back on the road. The ride home is silent and I simply relax at the pleasure of holding my sweet boy, even if I am aware that only a little part of the job has been done for now. I wasn't expecting things to go so fast and now, I had better grab a strong control on my emotions not to fuck this up.
"Take good care of him, Joshua, and thanks again for the dinner," Liz says as I carry the light weight inside and I just smile at her.
"Do you need help?" Tony asks while he puts Liam's bag on the floor in the hall.
"I'm fine, Tony. Thanks again..."
"You're welcome, Boy. You guys take care!" he says warmly before he shuts the entrance door with a satisfied smile.
As I carry Liam upstairs, he starts waking up and moaning and when I reach my bedroom, his eyes crack open. As he fully takes in where he is, he writhes in my arms and I have no other choice than to put him down, allowing him to break free from my hold.
"What the fuck am I doing here? What happened? Did you kidnap me?" he shouts, wobbling on his legs and leaning on the bed for support. Kidnap him? Seriously? Oh God, this boy is definitely not clear in his head. I swear I'm going to kick his ass next time he dares drinking unreasonably.
"Don't you remember what happened at the club an hour ago?" I ask sternly, trying to keep my calm.
"I do..." he says bitterly after a few seconds. "But why the hell did you bring me here? Why didn't you take me to my place?" he shouts again.
"BecauseI'm not letting stay alone after drinking so much," I explain.
"Yeah sure... that's why I'm in your bedroom. I want to get out of here! I want to go home!" he repliessarcastically, almost panting.
"No way, Liam. You're staying here. If that pleases you, you can stay in a guest room, but I'll be by your side anyway," I reply as calmly as I can, while anger seems to flood through his veins. Thelittle firmness in my voice doesn't seem to please him though.
"Fuck off!" he screams as he tries to go past me, so unstable on his legs that he almost falls. I grab him just in time and he then seems to be suddenly taken by a fit of anger as he tries to struggle with punches and kicks; he even tries to slap me in the face but I'm not ready to let go of him this time. I don't know if that's a side effect to the alcohol he drank earlier but Liam is in some sort of trance, so I ignore his screams and carefully lead him toward the bathroom while he thrashes about in my hold; Once there, I gently - yet firmly - push him into the shower stall and open the water tap. The cold water makes him gasp and utter some shrilling noises; he calls me all sorts of bad names but it has the expected effect of eventually shutting him up as I firmly maintain him under the freezing spray until he finally calms down after a few minutes.
"Why are you doing this?" he sobs, his muscles finally relaxing, allowing me to pull him into my chest. "Why do you keep chasing me? Why do you act like you care?" As I wrap my arms around his quivering frame, my heart thumps in my chest like it never has before.
"I do care. I do this because I love you, Liam... and I can't afford to let you slip away again without a chance to prove it to you... I'm not gonna let you go before you have given me a chance to explain, Baby," I reply with all my heart, hugging him tightly.
Liam now seems to be completely worn out. As his body goes limp, I let him slowly slump down on the floor and turn off the tap. We are both drenched in water but now that he is much quieter, I begin to remove his clothes and shoes and wrap him in a large towel before I do the same with me, leaving us in only our boxer briefs. I quickly go to my dresser and pull out some sweat pants and tee-shirts, hurry change into the first outfit and bring the second one to a sleepy Liam. As soon as I lay him down in my bed, he passes out and I lie down next to him, holding him close to me as I fall asleep too. I know that tomorrow is the day I must not mess up if I want to have him back for good and it's still a long shot.
Published on 22 Nov 2016
Today, I'd just like to thank you all.
I Was Shooting For The Moon, I Hit Two Stars just reached 200K reads throughout the night and on Sunday, I Would Give Him The Moon broke another record with over 310 unique readers with the last update. This is just amazing...
So thank you all very much because this is all thanks to you who share these stories by voting, commenting and adding them to your reading lists.
Amitiés de Paris :)