AN: Trigger warning: Infanticide. . .
Sorry if you have a problem with this, but it just shows you how sick the F.O.U.N.D.A.T.I.O.N is.
Enjoy!
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The pain is bearable, and that is not a lie.
It keeps me sane through sleepless nights.
The nights when I could hold off the thoughts and illusions, even if it was just for a moment.
It gave me something to focus on. . .
It has been over a week. I lost count a long time ago so I couldn't be sure.
Time was always much slower at the Foundation, and almost inexistent in the Forest of Desolation. . . But I didn't know where I was so I couldn't be sure.
The memories weren't that bad. No, they were too good.
Sometimes I found myself getting lost in them.
In some, my parents never died. In others, Sai was still alive and happy. Often, I ended up dying because of my choices. Other times, I was killing the people I loved.
Robin was never in them, and I was thankful for that. If not, I would have broken days ago.
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The loud creak of the door to my cell being opened broke me away from my thoughts. From the corner of my eye, I spotted a lady in a white coat walking in. An image of Carla overlapped her as I watched her stoop next to me.
'Surprise, surprise, you're still alive.' she giggled, raising her gloved hands to cover her mouth.
The image faded away. She looked nothing like Carla, acted nothing like her too.
Her hands hovered over my torso and her hazel eyes met mine. The happiness seeping off her told me she was here to torture me.
'This is going to hurt.' She smiled as her gloves started glowing an eerie red.
The color was cold, unlike what I had expected. There was no scorching heat only burning chill, an agonizing pain that drilled into my bones. I had experienced a similar pain before, and this was far worse.
I would have screamed, if not for the fact that I was chocking on my own blood and had no strength left to pry open my jaws.
Five minutes later and her hands moved over my chest, her brown hair clinging to her sweaty face. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve then I saw her hands glow again. . . and then I felt nothing.
She wasn't there anymore, and neither was I.
××
I stared at the baby giggling in my arms and smile, all thoughts on the pain gone, the memory of the hazel eyed lady pushed back.
'What's her name?' I asked quietly as the infant wrapped her hands around my finger.
'We wanted a name that went with yours, but—' a masculine voice said.
'Winter.' I mumbled, not looking up, my eyes fixed on my new sister. 'How about Winter?'
'That's a wonderful idea, Snow.' I heard a frail voice say from the corner of the room.
I turned to face my mother. She looked sickly, her skin hanging off her bones. The couch she sat in looked like it was swallowing her.
'Bring her to me. . .' her voice trailed off as her grey eyes rested on the precious person in my arms.
I found my feet unconsciously moving towards her, my hands stretching out without my permission. I knew what was going to happen but I couldn't stop myself.
Watching helplessly as my sister was taken away, I stood by my mother, staring blankly as she stroked Winter's sleepy face.
I knew what was going to happen, but I couldn't stop it.
Humming a song, the sickly woman cradled the baby girl in her arms. I watched Winter's chest rise and fall.
She was going to die like the rest, and I could only watch.
My heart felt like it was being torn apart when I saw my sister's face scrunch up in discomfort, her little lips quivering as my mother squeezed the life out of her, pressing Winter tightly against her chest.
Don't cry, please don't cry.
Winter screamed, her face blue, tears flowing freely from her eyes.
Don't hear it! I screamed along with her, as though my thoughts could overpower reality and deafen our mother.
'Shut up.' My mother growled, her rocking movements turning fierce.
The cries increased, bouncing off the bare walls of the nursery, and so did the slap and sickening crack that followed.
The cries ceased.
No. . .
I couldn't look up, my eyes fixed to the floor. I. . . I killed her.
'It's broken.' The trembling voice of my mother rang out as she continued to cradle the corpse. 'I didn't mean to kill it!'
'You!' She stretched her gnarled finger at me. 'You killed her!'
'M-mike.' Her voice lost it's anger as her eyes lost focus, her lips still humming the song as her husband took Winter from her arms.
Kissing his wife's forehead, Mike pulled back, love in his eyes as he looked at the dying woman. 'Nothing happened, dear, she's just sleeping.'
'But—' she mumbled listlessly.
'We can always get a new one.' Mike cooed, stroking her head with his hand.
He turned to me. 'Don't you want a little sister, Snow?'
I stared at the broken neck of my newest sister as she dangled out the crook of his elbow, feeling sick to my stomach. 'No.'
He straightened up and walked towards me, his expression unreadable.
I knew what happened when I said no, and I know I'll regret it later. But at least newborns wouldn't get stolen this week and their parents wouldn't have to face the pain of losing a child.
'You are not helping your mother cope.' He grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the cellar. He would keep up the façade of a caring father till we left mother's presence, letting her think we were her perfect family and helping her forget that she had killed her second blood daughter years ago. He would keep her happy with the daughter she always wanted. The one that was not me.
××
'There.' the brunet said with a pleased smile and shivered. 'Most of your broken bones have been mended.'
A gurgle escaped my lips as blood spilled out of my mouth. I glared at her smiling figure.
'You better start moving, the director wants you.' she said too cheerfully for my liking.
Spitting out a mouthful of black blood on the gory floor, I sat up, my hair pooling around me.
The pain hadn't reduced, it had escalated. And oving brought me pain, but at least now I could move.
Gritting my teeth, I stood up unsteadily, my bloodstained hair brushing my calves as I walked slowly towards the lady.
Her eyes widened in astonishment. 'You have really long hair for an assassin.'
I stared at her with emotionless eyes and stayed silent.
'Okay then, let's go.' she laughed, flicking her bangs behind her ear. 'Five minutes, that's all we have.'
Her last words to me carried a hint of despondency and I couldn't hold back my grimace.
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AN: 85th chapter!!!!
This story is definitely going to get to round to a 100....
Don't you think soooo.
Thanks for reading, don't forget to tell me what you think.