Chemo Therapy during 3rd Period

November 8

You know that moment when you have this amazing dream and them someone or something wakes you up. That dream is taken from you forever. Well thats currently me, Jacqueline just delivered some unexpected news. While my health is actually really good and everything is at the level it needs to be at. My body just isn't able to play basketball this season.
When I heard the news my heart sunk. I've known for about a week now. Putting it on paper made it just that much more real for me. Everything is getting stripped away from me.
That day Kathy tried to get me to eat some ice cream or fro yo, but I just couldn't do it. Carson called/texted. I didn't respond. I just sat there in my bay window look out over Seattle. Rain was pouring down. The excess water was running down and creating this huge muddy mess on the side of the house.
I couldn't cry anymore. I had run out of tears. I didn't get why I was going through all of this. Nothing made sense.
I heard a knock on my door. I didn't answer. I heard a harder knock on my door. I didn't even get up. In walked Alyssa, my cousin who is five years older than me. She is like the older sister I never had. She threw open my closet and starting packing stuff into it. I noticed it was an overnight bag. I told her to grab the new medicine off the kitchen counter (it's suppose to help with depression). She told me to follow her. We got to the kitchen and she told me to hand her my phone. Which I did. She grabbed the meds and jumped into her car.
Her car, let's just say is a small collection of pieces and parts that probably do make a car. But her car is a piece of crap, and she'll be the first to tell you. You can't go over a speed bump to quickly or else this piece slides out of position and begins to drag on the ground so you have to get out and hit it back into place.
Back to the story at hand. We get in her car and I realize that she also has an overnight bag. We stop at our friend H's house who then gives us a ride to the airport.
I am in shock. She is going to put me on a plane to who knows where, for who knows how long. She keeps reassuring me that everything is going to be okay. That I will be okay.
We board the plane. We are going to her hometown Hawk Point, Oregon. It's a small town of 8,000 people. It's a twenty-five minute drive from the nearest airport.
When we land she finally hands me my phone. For some odd reason I am blocked from texting and all social media and I only have two contacts, Alyssa and Kathy. Upon arrival my Aunt Kelley and Uncle Winfred are there to fret us.
I ended up being there for a week. I forgot how much I love it there. Seeing people who I haven't seen in ages was awesome. I haven't been there for about 4-5 years. Each summer my parents would send me there because they both didn't want to have to deal with me all day. I would spend 3 months there. Until my freshman year when I was sent to Spain instead and sophomore year was to Arizona. Junior year I stayed at home. Because I could finally drive. This past summer was because I had you know "other plans".
I'm home now. And doing some damage control. Only Kathy knew where I was and apparently Carson came by to see me almost 3 times a day and finally on the third day. He snuck into my house and ran into my room. Only to find Kathy there waiting for him. She explained that I was somewhere and would be back soon. That wasn't good enough answer for him. He searched every spot, I would probably hang out. But I was in a completely different state.
Alyssa fixed my phone and now I have everything back. 100s of texts from Carson, Kate, and Taylor asking me where I was. But I didn't respond.
This past year I have forgotten who I am. And I working on finding me again.
Basketball isn't all of me.
School isn't all of me.
Friends & Carson aren't all of me.
These things don't make up who I am. I'm tired of everyone including me thinking that it does. I'm my own person. So if everyone could PLEASE back off. That would be greatly appreciated.