577. One minute of kissing burns 26 calories, no wonder those sluts are so damn skinny.
578. A fart is a wish your butt makes.
579. I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.
580. Life is short. Buy the shoes!
581. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Vodka cost less, than dinner for two.
582. I'm so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word I'm saying.
583. Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
584. Men are like snowstorms.
You never know when he is coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long he will last.
585. A push up bra is like a bag of chips. You open it and it's half empty...
586. I have CDO it's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order...as they should be.
587. The faster I type in my password, the more secret-agenty I feel.
588. The trouble with trouble, is that it always starts out fun."
589. It's better to have love and lose, than to have to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.
590. You're not drunk until you have to grab onto the grass to stop from falling off the earth.
591. My idea of a super bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.
(So this is me being funny so here you go and all these quotes I got from Crazy Funny Quotes! Hope everyone had a great day!!! Bye lovelies!!)