✎Previosly on SCLS✐
"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY????? AND AND... I'M A SENIOR!" Hanji screamed in horror.
"I need to go out with a bang!" Hanji collapsed to the ground as she tugged on her already messy hair.
"What did you blow up?" Levi sighed.
The announcements came on. "Students! Please remain in your classrooms. The substance is turning students into mindless, walking corpses. Symptoms of infection include: jellybean-smelling farts."
"We need to survive," Erwin uttered, holding up his electric guitar in brain-smashing weapon position.
Levi sighed. "Shit. Here we go."
✎The Bean-pocolypse✐
"Are they still out there?" Eren asked.
"Yep," Connie said as he peeped out the window.
"We're doomed," Jean said. "We're all gonna die and fart jelly bean smells.
"I mean it's not that bad of a death," Reiner argued.
"Of course you wouldn't mind having your farts smell like jelly beans," Bertolt sighed.
"Guys!" Armin hissed. "I can't focus on making an antidote if you're all talking. And you're drawing them towards us!"
"They're probably to stupid to even respond to sound," Jean laughed. "Right, dummies? Hey you! You, sir, are a unfortunate creature."
To Jean's surprise (and only Jean's surprise), all the jellybean zombies within a ten meter radius immediately turned towards his voice and slowly inched over to the door.
"Only you, Jean," Eren shook his head. "Only you."
"Quick! Barricade the door!" Bertolt shouted.
"I got this!" Reiner said as he ran to the door and placed a chain under the handle. However, the chair was rather short so the zombies were still able to get though.
"You idiot!" Armin chastised. "You were supposed to get a chair that would keep the door handle from rotating!"
"The farters are here!" Connie screeched.
Everyone began to scream simultaneously but it transitioned into sounds of confusion.
"Farters?" Armin asked.
"You know how in the Walking Dead they never call the zombies zombies but they call them walkers?" Connie explained.
"Oh," everyone said at once. And then they resumed their screams of terror. The lifeless students roamed closer. Everyone in the room began to hop onto desks or try to wave them away with a ruler or in Reiner's case, a piece of paper.
The room began to grow stuffy from the smell of jelly beans. Even though it was somewhat pleasant, it was not the way everyone imagined that they would go.
Then, the farters collapsed to the ground one by one along with the sounds of gunshots - water gunshots filled with kool-aid that is.
Christa stepped in along with Ymir with shades. They pointed their guns at everyone in the room. "Were any of you tagged?" She inquired.
Everyone shook their heads.
"Good," Christa stated. "We got some more weapons for you," she said as she and Ymir laid four guns and a bag of ketchup packets on the table. "Aim for the head and they go down instantly."
"Let's head out to find shelter," Ymir said. "We won't be safe here for long. Besides the smell of jelly beans is making me sick."
"Hold on," Armin stated before they could head out. "I'm currently working on an antidote so I need y'all to protect me."
"Ugh," Christa rolled her eyes. "Fine. Armin is top priority. If he dies. Then the idiot who let him dies is dead."
"I'll protect you!" Eren said. "You can count on me, buddy ol' pal."
"Aw, thanks," Armin said, uncertain if Eren was able to protect him well at all.
That was when one of the farters in front of Armin reached out and grabbed his leg. Armin let out a high pitched screech as Christa shot the farter dead.
"Oh, thank goodness," Armin sighed in relief.
However, his relief subsided when Christa pointed a gun to his face. "Sorry, but you were tagged by a farter."
Armin's expression of fear was permanently etched into everyone's mind as Christa pulled the trigger. Armin fell backwards onto his hard work, spilling the possible antidote that could have cured the school.
"So you have to be touched by one of those things to get infected?" Eren asked before he was shot dead by Christa as well.
"Wait, he wasn't tagged," Bertolt stated.
"I know, but he didn't protect Armin, so I kept my word," Christa shrugged indifferently.
Distant growling grabbed everyone's attention.
"We need to get out of here, now," Ymir stated.
"Right," everyone nodded.
As they exited, they could see the aftermath of the leak. They shot down every farter which came too close for comfort.
"Where are we going?" Jean asked.
"The band room," Ymir answered. "It's furthest from this end of the school."
"So how do we get there without drawing attention to ourselves?" Connie asked.
"Too late for that," Reiner laughed, looking back at the crowd of farters that gathered behind them. "But look on the bright side. I usually don't get this much attention from chicks anyways."
"Granted that they are half dead," Bertolt added while shooting a farter.
"And also granted that you're the gayest fish in the sea," Ymir stated. "Although I'm surprised they're going after Connie if it's brains they are after."
"What's that supposed to mean!" Connie shouted as if he was offended, but then he paused. "No, seriously. What does that mean?"
"JEAN! BEHIND YOU!" Christa shouted. Jean turned around to see a farter mere inches away from him. He fell backwards, dropping his gun in the process. Instead of getting back into his feet, he scooted away, distancing himself as far away from the farter as possible. However, he hit a set of lockers. From his sides, more farters were drawn towards him.
He was trapped.
They slowly stepped towards their victim as he cowered into a ball. However, the farters fell to the ground around him. Jean looked around to search for his savior. He glanced down the hallway to see Marco with a gun which he lowered to his side.
A smile stretched across Jean's face; he nearly laughed in relief and excitement. "Marco! You're alive!"
Marco shrugged. "I try," he said as he ran down the hallway towards Jean. Jean stood up and ran towards Marco as well, arms wide open as he prepared to embrace him for a hug.
Marco, unfortunately, ended up tripping over the leg of a farter, awakening it from his slumber.
Jean stopped in his tracks, quickly realizing the severity of the situation. "Marco! No!" He cried out.
But alas, it was too late. It grabbed Marco's leg, irreversibly infecting him. Marco cried out as he shot the farter in the head and backed away, clutching his leg. Jean ran up to him, kneeling by his side.
"Marco-"
"Don't touch me," Marco coughed. "I'll infect you."
"It's okay," Jean said. "Hang in there, there has to be an antidote that we can use-"
"No..." Marco slowly shook his head. His voice crew quieter. "No... It's too late for me, Jean."
"No it isn't!" Jean argued. He felt tears pooling at the inner corner of his eyes, some already creating a thin line down his cheeks.
Marco weakly held the look-aid gun to his head. "It is, Jean. I refuse to have my farts smell like... jelly beans..."
"No! Just... Wait here, okay? Don't go anywhere. Don't... Don't go. Don't leave just yet. I'll be back with an antidote." Jean cried.
Marco smiled weakly, knowing that Jean was a stubborn one. "Okay."
"Yeah?" Jean sniffed. "You'll wait for me to get back to you, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Promise?"
Marco coughed. "P-promise," he said even though he knew well this was the one promise he would never be able to keep. "Go... Jean... Find the antidote. Do it for me."
"Okay," Jean said as he wiped his tears. "Okay..." He stood up and began to run to the band room. He counted the seconds.
One... Two... Three... Kool-aid Gunshot.
Jean ran faster, trying to hold back his tears, leaving nothing but a corpse of Marco behind him.
✎minutes later✐
Jean slammed the door to the band room after running in. He barricaded it - properly mind you - before slumping into a chair. Everyone gave him his space while they continued to harass Levi with questions.
"So Hanji did this?" Christa asked.
"Is that surprising to you?" Levi spat.
"Where is she now?" Bertolt asked.
"How would I know?" He responded.
"Why didn't you go with them?" Connie asked.
"Why would I run headfirst into danger?"
"Why are you answering questions with questions?" Ymir asked.
"Why would I waste time on answering stupid questions with sentences?" Levi snapped back.
"Look, we need to find her," Jean stated as he stood up. "To save humanity." He turned away. "And to honor those who have fallen."
Levi sighed. "Fine. By any chance have any of you tried figuring out the antidote."
"He died," everyone answered at once.
"Dammit," Levi uttered. "Then who in here is the smartest?"
All heads turned to Bertolt. He immediately panicked. "What are you talking about? I-I'm not that smart."
"Quit being modest, asshole. You have the second highest GPA in our grade," Ymir spat.
"Fine, I'll try my best," he sighed.
"I'll stay here and help," Reiner smirked.
"Gross, I'm out," Christa stated as she left the band room.
✎Moments later✐
"Hanji! Why did you even run out?" Erwin shouted after her as he shot a farter in the face.
"FOR SCIEEENNCCEE!" She responded scientifically.
Suddenly, all the farters around them began to fall to the ground as Levi and the others shot down all the infected in the vicinity.
"Levi! Who are they!" Hanji gasped.
"They are my new squad," Levi stated as he gestured to the hoard of juniors. "Because the old one is dead."
At that moment, Petra rose from the ground as a farter. Levi shot her in the head with a kool-aid gun with no hesitation. "See? Dead."
They found themselves surrounded by farters once again. All they could do now was fight.
"Gah!" Ymir cried out as she turned around and shot a farter. She fell to the ground holding her arm. "I've been tagged!" Then, she looked into Christa's eyes, nearly begging.
"It's... It's too late for me," she groaned. "Pull the trigger, Piglet."
Without hesitation, Christa shot Ymir in the face with cool aid. Ymir rolled onto her side with her tongue sticking out. "That's what you get for being a meme-loving piece of-"
"Guys!" Hanji shouted. "I know how to defeat them!"
"How!" Everyone exclaimed simultaneously.
"We hit em with a whip!" Hanji shouted with pure excitement.
"I'm kink shaming," Levi stated.
"Not like that!" Hanji whined. "Like this!" Hanji then did a white girl whip, somehow knocking down a wave of farters. "Hit 'em with a hit 'em with a -uh!" She dabbed, immediately bringing the farters who were knocked down (and Ymir) back to life.
"So we need to whip and dab?" Erwin. clarified.
"I'm up for it," Connie shrugged.
"Let's go!" Sasha said as she whipped, knocking down another set of farters.
Everyone (except for Levi) began to whip and dab, reviving everyone in the school...
✎✐
"And that was what happened when Hanji blew up the quarantined area of the school," Christa explained.
Everyone around her clapped.
"What an amazing story!" Ymir cheered.
"That literally never happened," Armin uttered.
"I'm, yeah it did," Christa stated.
Armin crossed his arms. "Not the part about whipping and dabbing. All effects of the jellybean virus disappeared once the school day ends."
"SHUT UP!" Christa bellowed in his face.
"Fite me, bitch!" Armin stood up.
"Oh, it's about to get real-"
And a catfight ensued between the two short blondes.
✎The Bean-pocolypse✐
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