Episode 39: The Epiphany
I hadn’t ever messed up as bad as I did with Erika and our relationship had just begun. The look on her face as I turned around cursed my head by replaying the event over and over again. It was making me feel sick but I just had to wait for the next day to get to talk to her. I just needed a small break to calm down and so did she. Even though I had a guilty conscience, one part of me was mad at Erika for over reacting. I never kissed Angelina. We were close together, that’s all. Didn’t Erika see me reject the kiss from Angelina? All though my mind was filled with those thoughts they were useless unless something solid came out of them. Unless Erika decided to break up with me. I wasn’t sure of it at the point but she made no formal gesture as to say we weren’t a couple anymore. The game wasn’t over just yet.
Monday 23rd August 2010, Feeling a little bit lonely
Feeling refreshed and a bit better, I couldn’t wait to see Erika and explain what happened. She wasn’t picking up her phone as well as failing to reply my messages. It got me feeling a burn in my stomach. Nonetheless, I anticipated her coming back to school and waited for her as I sat down in class, resting my head on my forearms and fell into a deep deep drowning sleep.
It was bright and the sky was clear and it felt good to be wherever I was. I looked down to see myself wearing a white t-shirt with blue stripes and blue jeans. I was lying down with my arms keeping my upper body of the ground and I was staring into the clear sky as the birds were passing. The breeze was strong but not too strong. Just perfect. I was on a cliff, that watched over the gentle sea like a guardian. The cliff wasn’t high up though and jumping off would probably only result in a injury. In short it was around about the same height as a one storey house. After taking in the scenery, I placed my back upon the grass and stared at the sky in a more comfortable position.
‘Pretty nice isn’t it?’ a voice called beside me. And sure enough, it belonged to Erika. I twisted to see her face and was taken aback by the scar that started from the top right of her face all the way to the bottom left of her chin.
‘Wha-what happened?’ I asked her.
She put on a confused look before it dawned on to her.
‘Oh, this’ she said before running her finger over the slightly bloody scar. ‘It’s the first scar of our relationship.’
That’s when I started to notice it was just a dream. I ran my hand through her hair. I had just had an epiphany. I realized that it was more than just a small issue. It meant a lot to our relationship.
‘Look, I’m really sorry. I don’t know what got over me. I just…’
‘You’re saying this to the wrong Erika.’ She interrupted. ‘Look.’ She said before pointing to something behind me. As I turned I saw the disgusting figure she was pointing at. It was a girl, walking on the shore, dragging her feet. She was bloody all over with scars that seemed to have been continuously picked and peeled.
‘Let me guess… my relationship with Angelina.’ I said. It had to be it. I could tell that was Angelina’s figure.
‘Whatever you do, don’t take our relationship that far, okay?’ she asked. I nodded slowly. I was determined not to take my relationship with Erika that far. I didn’t even want to give it anymore scars.
‘And Levi, this is for the scar.’ She said as she pushed me off the edge of the cliff. I didn’t have the time to scream. I was just crashing against the side of the cliff until I hit the ground. I couldn’t feel any pain but I could feel a strange feeling across my face. I took out my hand, while my eyes were still closed and reached for my face before I felt it. The scar that now ran across my face. I quickly opened my eyes to see…
My table. My plain black wooden table. The epiphany was enlightening. It made me see the whole situation in a new way. Though it seemed Erika wouldn’t give me the chance to apologize and to set things straight with her. I waited and waited for her until five minutes before the first lesson started. But it was definite. She wasn't coming and I sat there by myself looking like a fish out of water. It was annoying that I couldn’t tell her right away and that I had to wait until the end of the day feeling lonely. I realized that most of the boys weren't looking back anymore which oddly irritated me. I wanted that attention back but it seemed as if the only person who could bring it was Erika. Not any other girl. It was irritating going through the day without her. I knew I messed up but I didn't really have feelings for Angelina any more. They were diluted. The attraction was there but my feelings were always devoted to Erika and Erika only.
"Hey, just go over her house today." was the last advice Corey gave me before we parted and went our different ways. I took his advice with a firm grip and redirected my driver to her house. I had to see her before things became worse.
I was invited in the gardens by the guard and he escorted me to where Erika was and sure enough she was where the guard escorted me to.
She was wearing my big white shirt that I gave her in France. It was cleaner than the day I saw it; cleaner than I had ever seen it be. She had short shorts on that were barely visible because they were hidden by the shirt. She was holding a cue stick and walking around the pool table. I noticed that she was talking to someone so I was more nervous to see who it was. The first thing I noticed of the person, from my distance, was that it was a male teenager. That put me into a state of confusion. ‘What’s she doing with another guy…. Dressed like that?’ I asked myself. I then noticed he was beige and soon enough I knew exactly who he was. Sameer Tamim.
I was more than confused. What did he have to do at my girlfriends house?
He was the first to notice me and I realized the guard had already left. He stood with a smile on his face, staring me down as I approached. He mumbled something to Erika and she turned to face me. There was a brief five seconds of silence and a emotionless face from her. I was scared to what her reaction would be.
She smiled.
She rushed towards me, cue stick in hand and hugged me.
‘So I guess you forgive me?’ I half-asked.
‘Of course I do. I understand now.’ She replied. She pulled away from the hug and crossed her arms behind her back while biting her bottom lip.
‘You understand what?’ I asked. I wondered what she was talking about.
‘I understand why you almost kissed her. Tamim explained it to me.’
‘What are you on about?’
‘You guys only broke up a few months ago. You were always gonna have a bit of attraction towards her. That’s okay. As long as you promise me one thing.’
‘What is it?’ I wondered.
She took my hand and placed it on her chest.
‘Know where your love lies. Stay with me, please. Just stay with me.’ She said. I couldn’t help but feel sad for what I did to her. I nodded before kissing her and holding her tight.
‘Yeah, I will.’ I said as we pulled away from each other.
For the rest of the day I just thought about what happened at her house. It showed me how special she was. I just knew that she was something special. She was a keeper. There was just something about her.