"The fuck is this? I have no friends." Eren said rather annoyingly as he scrutinized his schedule.
"What else is new?" Jean uttered.
"Don't be a smartass, Jean," Eren sneered. "I meant I don't have any friends in my classes."
"That's probably an exaggeration," Mikasa stated. "You should see my schedule."
"Well that's because you're taking all college leveled classes and stuff," Eren said.
"Not as much as Armin," Mikasa pointed to the blond. "He can practically graduate this year."
"Now that," Armin butted in. "Is an exaggeration."
"No it's not," Jean stated.
"Hey look! People!" Connie exclaimed as he marched up to them with Sasha alongside him. "What's up?"
"Nothing much," Jean stated. "Just reliving traumatizing flashbacks while they opened the house to us at this open house..."
Connie was silent for a moment before responding, "Is he high?"
"Come on, we all know Jean," Marco walked up to them with a big smile which immediately transformed into a straight face. "The answer is yes. Very high."
"Hey!"
"Anyways!" Connie exclaimed. "I'm off to see the new study hall teacher. Apparently everyone gets him and I heard he was a nightmare."
"Nightmares are fun," Armin said quietly. "They scare you into character development."
"Okay, I'm beginning to think everyone here is on something," Connie replied.
Eren managed to suppress a small chuckle which Armin heard. "Ho, don't do it," Armin threatened.
"Everyone's on mY DICK," Eren exclaimed.
"Wow, how did I not see that coming," Marco said in complete awe.
To this, Eren snickered again.
"BOI," Armin raised his arm to slap Eren. "Imma bout to beat you."
"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Sasha and Connie chanted at the same time.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Hanji chimed in. To this, everyone grew silent and stared at her while she continued chanting with a large smile. She then suddenly stopped and stared at all of them. "No? Okay. Hey wait a minute!" She then leaned casually on Jean's shoulder, making him very uncomfortable.
"So how is the guys who caught his Gluteus Maximus on fire?" Hanji inquired.
"Oh, he's okay," Eren said. "Just you know... Not okay."
"As usual," Sasha added.
∾◦meanwhile on the opposite end of the school◦∾
"REINER!" Annie called out. "YOU ARE STUPID!"
"WOULD A STUPID PERSON DO THIS?" Reiner asked as he ran down the hall with a butt scooter, dressed like a cardboard knight with a cardboard jousting stick. He let out a screech as he jumped onto the butt scooter, scooting down the hall at maximum velocity.
He also scooted into the stairwell and tumbled down at an astonishing speed.
"Bertolt," Annie said. "Why is he so useless?"
"I don't know," Bertolt answered.
∾◦back to the other end of the school◦∾
"He's probably getting hurt as we speak," Marco stated.
"That's cool - hey you wanna see my science?" Hanji asked as she averted all attention to the center of the foyer. "I call it the water tornado!"
"Everyone duck!!" Isabel shouted from the other end of the foyer as she hid behind a plastic tree.
Hanji then pressed a button as a strange cubed object placed in the center of the foyer began to create a swirling vortex that blew everything around as it grew in magnitude. As a result, children began to screech, running around aimlessly. "It feeds of the water in the atmosphere and the fearful screeches of the damned!" Hanji shouted over screams.
"Cool!" Connie shouted back.
"Turn that thing off!" A teacher commanded.
"What?" Hanji shouted.
"Turn it off!" Repeated the teacher.
Hanji snickered before shouting. "Water you saying?"
The teacher, as a response, marched up to Hanji, took her remote from her hand, and smashed it against the floor. The tornado that fed off the fear of innocent children finally died down.
"Hey," Hanji pouted. "I worked hard on that."
"You're going to get in a lot of trouble," the teacher stated as he pointed at Hanji intensely.
"I've never seen you here before," Hanji said with her hands other hips. She leaned in closer to view the teacher's rather ugly face. "You are a newbie."
"I am," the teacher boasted as he crossed his arms, resting them on his fat stomach. "I am the new study hall teacher."
"Oh!" Connie chimed in. "You must be Mr. School!"
"NO!" Mr. School bellowed in their faces, making the children jump. "It is pronounced: Su-HOO. The 'c' is pronounced as a 'u' and the 'L' is silent."
"What country did that originate from?" Jean uttered.
"Sorry, Mr. Su-HOO," Connie apologized. "I won't mess it up again!"
"You better not!" Mr. School began to boast. "Us School's have a great and untainted history of education!"
"What do you mean by 'untainted'?" Armin asked.
Mr. School's eye twitched. "None of your business, you shenanigan. Well, if you don't mind, I have more important things to get to." He then walked away with the ugliest smile on his face as if he was proud to lecture a bunch of children.
"Did that just really happen?" Eren asked.
"Does anyone else feel like this guy thinks he's better than everyone else?" Sasha asked.
Armin blinked in response. "Did he just call me a shenanigan?"
"Man," Hanji sighed. "That's another mentally unstable study hall teacher."
"Probably why he couldn't be a real one," Jean replied.
"What does it even mean for a person to be a shenanigan?" Armin asked.
"Anyways, I have to fix my science," Hanji sighed.
"Dude, I'm sorry about that," Eren said. "I know your inventions typically cause injuries but that was definitely unnecessary."
"It's okay!" Hanji perked up. "It was meant to become a fragile explosive five minutes after use anyway!" She said with her hands proudly on her hips.
"How fragile?" Armin asked.
"How explosive?" Mikasa followed.
"How concerning," Marco uttered.
Suddenly, they heard shouting from down the hall.
"REINER! SLOW DOWN! YOU'RE GONNA MURDER SOMEONE!"
"THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS FLESH-EATING CANADIAN GEESE!" Reiner bellowed as he sped down the hallway straight for the explosive.
"Oh dear," Armin gasped.
The instant Reiner made contact with the box, it exploded. Luckily, it wasn't more than an explosion equivalent to a small firework so Reiner was only launched a few feet in the air before crashing onto the ground. Everyone stared at Reiner who was still groaning in pain. Bertolt and Annie walked up to the others and stared at him as well.
"He was right about the flesh-eating Canadian geese," Jean stated.
Everyone muttered in agreement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN:
YO to all y'all who are suffering school rn whether it be it started or you're not looking forward for it to start like me.... Good luck............