Eleanor wasn't sure what exactly had happened with Daniel when he returned to Somerton Manor. Except, much to her bewilderment, that he seemed to be in an even fouler mood than he had been in before he went away. When she returned to the house and discovered he was back she went to find him in his study, she realised with some dismay that he was already on the verge of one of his usual drunken stupors.
She couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment. She was hoping that when Daniel returned home, and saw the all changes she had accomplished at Somerton Manor, that it might bring him out of his misery and the constant reminder that this is where his wife and unborn child died, and she would somehow win his approval.
Before he had left, he had seemed to be looking more toward the future and putting everything to rights, and she had hoped he would be pleased with all she had done since his absence, but it seemed that was not the case.
When he was this drunk it made him unstable, and she always felt uneasy around him, so she would usually avoid him. Yet, she found she did not want to hide away this time. After being married to him for almost six months, she was starting to become accustomed to Daniel and his drunken moods. So that she no longer quaked in her shoes at the sight of him, well not as much as she used to, and she was genuinely concerned and curious to know what was going on with him.
He just continued to slouch in his chair behind his desk when she entered, there was a half drunk glass of brandy in his hand, which he swiftly knocked back at the sight of her
"Ahh, my little wife has returned, and she so happy to see me as ever I suppose" he slurred with drunken irony, noting the way she looked at him, seeming disappointed .
"Well to be honest, I was not I expecting to find you in this a state in such a short space of time since your own return this afternoon" she then openly admitted with a concerned frown
"To be honest in return, neither did I" Daniel replied dryly, leaning towards his desk and setting the glass down on the desk with deliberate firmness."That was until I received this", he now picked up the letter from his father-in-law and carelessly threw it across the desk, his face distorted into a sneer.
Eleanor just managed to catch it before it fell off the edge of the desk and onto the floor at her feet
She read over the letter whilst Daniel busied himself pouring out the last of the brandy into his glass
"This letter is from your first wife's parents, they think it is time that your daughter came home," Eleanor looked up at him, her brow furrowed in puzzlement, "I don't understand why would this letter upset you so? Surely you must have planned to have your daughter back with you sometime in the near future, I thought it would be good news, that she wants to come home to be with you again"
"Why would I? We are practically strangers now, and she is far better off with her grandparents than she would be with me, " Daniel replied, knocking back the brandy in his glass and grimacing, "But it seems that once more, the choice is being taken out of my hands, just as I was forced into this second marriage to produce more offspring and a male heir, now on top of everything else, I am expected to be responsible for her welfare as well. It's the last thing I want, or need"
"B-But why? She is your daughter, how can you not want to be responsible for her, or not want her here?" Eleanor replied, finding herself shocked by his attitude towards his own flesh and blood
"Because I don't deserve it," Daniel snapped bitterly, slamming the glass down on the desk in front of him, and staring into the glass with something akin to despair "I don't deserve to be responsible for her, or anyone!" he then mumbled, more to himself than Eleanor.
But then looking up, he noticed the way she was looking at him speculatively, as if trying to figure out exactly what he had meant by his words. He realised he was becoming careless in his inebriated state and saying things he shouldn't"
"I would prefer it if you leave me alone now, I am in no mood for company, as you can see, we will discuss this another time, when I am in a better frame of mind" his tone was formal and stiff
For a moment she seem to hesitate, as if she was going to object to his dismissing of her, whilst seeming to show a flicker of genuine concern and empathy for him, that he really did not want or need from her, of all people, at that moment"
"Just go" he reiterated in a tone that brooked no argument, refusing to look her in the eye, and staring into his empty glass again
"Fine, if that is what you want," she finally relented quietly, much to his relief "And I suppose you are right, it is better and makes more sense that we wait until your mind is clearer to discuss this again, so I will leave you to it" she finished more decisively before turning to leave.
Once she was gone, Daniel got up from behind his desk deciding he needed to find more brandy
**************************************************
Things did not bode well over the next few days much to Eleanor's despair, Daniel's return had cast a certain air of disquiet and gloom as he seemed bent on avoiding her, and keeping more company with alcohol.
The new servants were not quite sure what to make of his return and tended to defer to Eleanor on matters that needed to be attended to. Some of the young maids she had hired seemed a little frightened and cautious of him, especially in his drunken state, when he might come across them he would snap at them, demanding to know who they were and what they were doing.
Martha, who was more used to Daniel's ways, proceeded tell the new staff off for being so silly, whilst getting some pleasure in haughtily informing Eleanor she did not think that the new employee's she had hired were up to much, and things might as well have go back the way they were before she had done so, as she couldn't be doing without having to nursemaid silly young girls who were frightened of the master of the house.
Although Daniel had told her he would speak further with her when his mind was clear, yet it seemed he had no intention of having a clear mind much to Eleanor's frustration. She was still reeling from learning that his daughter Clara would be coming to live with them. But it was Daniel's reaction to this forthcoming event that bewildered her the most, especially his last statement, about not feeling he deserved to be responsible for his daughter, which was entirely different than saying he didn't want to be responsible for her at all.
She was starting to wonder if Daniel blamed himself for the death of his first wife and unborn child for some reason? She just didn't know why he would feel so strongly this way, when she knew he had not even been at home when it happened. But, then perhaps that was the problem, perhaps he felt that if he had been home it might not have happened.
She could not think of any other reason, why he felt this guilt that he didn't even think he deserved to be around his daughter. He was a hard man to figure out, just when she thought she had, she found that this was not the case.
But after a week, she decided she could no longer avoid the subject, and unable to rest her mind, she approached him in his study again one evening where she hoped she would find him in a more sober state than usual lately
She knocked on the door, but she didn't wait for him to tell her to enter before opening it not wanting to be fobbed of with some excuse
Daniel's eyebrows rose at her temerity, to more or less barge in on him in this unusual manner, and despite his withering look at her rash behaviour, she refused to back down and approached him
"I am sorry to intrude like this" she decided to apologise at least, before continuing, "but I feel we need to talk about the arrival of your daughter, you did say we would discuss it," Eleanor reminded him in her most reasonable tone, "It's been over a week and you have not told me what is happening, whether your daughter will be coming, I would really like to know, so I can be prepared"
"I was going to speak with you in the morning" Daniel informed her stiffly, but then his stance relaxed a little
"But, seeing you are so eager to find out, I can inform you that have already written back to my former father-in-law a few days ago, to let him know I got his correspondence, and that if he thought it was best that Clara come to live with me, that it was acceptable, and that I would be placing you in charge of her care when she arrives, does that suit your curiosity?" he finished dryly
"Y-yes," Eleanor replied meekly, "and I am sorry for approaching you like this, but I felt you were avoiding me and this whole business, and I just needed to know one way or the other"
"Well, now you do" Daniel said, "And I will expect you to take full responsibility for my daughter when she arrives, to make sure she has all the things she needs, As my wife I believe it is your duty"
"Certainly I will do what I can," Eleanor replied, keeping her tone neutral as she could, "But still, I will be a complete stranger to her, and you are her father and her flesh and blood, So, I imagine it is you she will turn to when she arrives, and she will want to spend time with you, and catch up. Surely you would like that also"
Much to Eleanor's dismay, she thought she saw Daniel shudder at such a prospect before he replied, "I have resigned myself that I have to be a parent now, and I will do what I must. I have never shirked my duty towards my family" but it was not exactly the answer she had wanted to here there was no warmth in it, and it troubled her
"Now, if you will excuse me I have informed you of what you wish to know, so can you kindly leave me to my business" he then said as if now bored of her presence
"Of- of course" Eleanor replied, then spoke up on a more upbeat note whilst being as tactful as she could, "I will look forward to meeting your daughter, it will be nice to have a young person to brighten up the house again, especially now that the improvements are underway, and it will be much more comfortable for her. I wonder will she remember living here, she left at a very young age when her mother died?"
"Yes, she did," Daniel agreed, suddenly a distant look in his eye as he remembered his daughter's young chubby figure, toddling about the nursery and how on many occasions back then, he would come up and visit and give her a cuddle, along with Isabella, But then he felt the familiar stabbing pain in his heart, that that life was gone, and it had been his fault, and he had no right to such happiness now.
Once more his expression hardened, "But as you said, it was a long time ago, and perhaps she will not remember, perhaps it's even better she doesn't"
And with that he bent his head to attend to the papers on his desk letting her no that the conversation was finished, and she turned to leave his study still feeling perplexed by his attitude