One True Bond (COMPLETE)

Kajol

I wake up next to Shah Rukh and I'm overwhelmed with the sensation to be sick. I rush to the bathroom and fling the toilet seat up but nothing comes. I close the toilet lid and lean against the cold tiles. God what has come over me? I feel beads of sweat gather on my brow and decide to just get in the shower. I stand up using the toilet and sink as balancing objects and manoeuvre myself over to the shower. I turn the tap on and water squirts out of the shower head hitting the tiles with splashes. I just walk into the small box, my pyjamas shorts and top still on and just collapse onto the floor. As the cool water hits me it brings tears to my eyes. I just don't think I can go on like this torn between the two people I love most in the world. When we've finished filming it will be harder to make time to spend with Shah Rukh I can't just tell Ajay I'm at the set or at a meeting and just go out with Shah Rukh! It's just become too difficult to carry on. I love Shah Rukh, I really love him like I've never loved anyone before. Whenever I see him I get butterflies, my stomach does somersaults and I feel volts of electricity pulse through my veins. But now I have Ajay again, I can't mess things up with him. I loved him, I love him and I will always love him. Ajay may not give me the sensations Shah Rukh does but he's familiar, he knows me better than anyone and we share our secrets with each other. Yes Shah Rukh has edge but Ajay has familiarity and right now I'd give anything to be waking up in his warm embrace and smell his funny cologne and know that today is going to be a good day. Instead I've woken up in some dodgy apartment I agreed to because Shah Rukh makes me feel alive but nothing works-the water is always cold, the air conditioning leaks and the TV signal crackles and pops. I have to leave Shah Rukh, I have to let him live his life with Gauri but every time I think it and want to say it I can't it's like something is stopping me. Shah Rukh thinks it's fate that we fell in love and so do I, which makes me think fate doesn't want us to split up, go our separate paths, live with other people. Just thinking about leaving Shah Rukh's tender touch and warmth makes me feel like I'm about to lose a part of me, a vital organ. I can't live without Shah Rukh but I can't live with him...