he's just sitting here, unconscious. i feel so weirdly lonely without seeing that permanent scowl on his face. well.. it's still there but for the wrong reason. honestly, they're all for wrong reasons.
i walk up to his bed side and touch his warm hand. they were rough but i like the way they feel in mines. i like the way he smiles lightly but is quick to make it disappear after awhile, it lets me know he still has a heart that can be attached in there.
my eyes start to blur from the unwanted tears that dared to spill. my nose starts to burn the longer i look.
i just couldn't look away.
"i'm sorry," my voice weak and cracked. "you didn't deserve that.. you don't deserve any of the pain because i know it's more than the gun wound."
i sit down in the chair that was right next to the bed. holding on to his hand more tightly, i rest my elbows on his bed.
"the doctors told me they couldn't get a hold of any of your family, what did they do to you?" by now the tears are out and my hands are shaking.
"i haven't forgotten about what you told me. i can't. when you wake up-- which i know you will because you are strong, i want you to tell me all those secrets you keep inside. it isn't fucking healthy."
don't you hate when you start to get attached to someone then life does the unexpected and takes that person out your life? i'm starting to think that i'm cursed..
"cole, you really have to wake up. i need more of you."