Everything is turning. My surroundings, my head, my thoughts, everything. I can feel are four walls closing making me feel suffocated. Laughs and screams fill my ears. Everything gets smaller by every second. All of the sudden everything stops. Closing my eyes I scream from the top of my lungs. Why? Because I feel useless and helpless, and the least I can do is scream.
When I open my eyes I'm back to the same room. The room with no light except the moon. The room that feels haunted by my nightmares and pleads. The room in which I cry myself to sleep every night. The paint is peeling off the walls, the floor is still dirty and dusty, the furniture in the room—a bed and a broken chair, are broken.
My whole body is filled with bruises and cuts. My back stings and aches from the whips I was getting given for crying.
The door flies open and in comes my worst nightmare.
"Are you done? Or do you need to be taught another lesson?" She smirked. All my confidence had died down these past few days leaving me no choice, but to nod.
She comes close and I cower away backing up against the wall.
"Listen here you bitch, if you want Rosebelle to live—"
"Don't you fucken dare touch her!" I sneer gaining up as much confidence as I can. She slaps me and pulls out the whip.
"I hope this'll teach you to respect me." She snickers raising her hand along with the whip.
"NO!"
"NO!" My eyes snap open and I immediately sit up. Tears trickle down my face furiously. I look to my right and make sure Rosebelle is still here safe and sound. Her light snores calm me down a bit, but it doesn't stop the tears from streaming.
All of the sudden the door flies open. My dad, Juily, and the guys including the guards run inside.
"What happened?!" They shout panicked. That made me cry even more remembering what happened in my nightmare. It felt so real, it's like I could actually feel the pain, the pain, the worry. Once again in years, I feel helpless and paranoid.
"Every one out, now! Except you, Juily." My dad shouts. The nods and walk out closing the door behind them.
"Nichole, was it a nightmare?" Juily asked although she knew the answer. I didn't trust my voice so all I could do was nod.
"You want to talk about it?" She asks and I shake my head furiously, my tears streaming down my face harder and faster. I feel so weak and I hate feeling weak.
"Are you sure?" My dad asks. All the memories of how they use to abuse me replayed in my head. Only causing me to sob hysterically.
"Nichole we need to talk, remember it's not good to keep your emotions in." My dad and Juily reason quoting what my doctor use to say when I had depression. She said it would only lead me to physically hurting myself or suicidal thought. That's it, cutting myself will help me keep my thoughts and pain away. It won't hurt to do it once, right? It's not like I'm jumping off the bridge.
"Okay, we can talk tomorrow. Try sleeping." My dad said and walked out.
"Nichole—"
"I'm better now. It's okay. I'll be fine." I say. She opens her mouth to say something, but closes it sighing.
"Fine, just try sleeping it off." She said and walked out. Once I heard the door click, I got up and locked the door. Searching through my desk for scissors. I found office scissors and walked into the restroom locking the door behind me. I sat inside the tub, closing the curtain I rolled up my sleeve and placed the scissors on my wrist.
Do it! Just do it! It'll help keep your mind off things. It's won't hurt to do it, again. Just do it! Go! Cut yourself. Do it!
No! I will not do it! I won't let these thoughts get to me! I have a daughter who is the light to my world. I have a boyfriend who keeps me happy and cheerful. I have friends who care for me and love me. I have a dad who would swim across the world to find me. I have people who look out for me and even though I going through all this pain. I know people have gone through worse or are going through worse.
If I cut myself the scars will only remind me of how stupid I was for hurting myself and others. Even when I think I will help keep the pain away, it won't. It will only cause more pain and destruction.
I put the scissors inside the cabinet and went back to bed not before changing into joggers and a long sleeve black shirt.
I don't know how I was so close to doing something so stupid. As long as I have Rosebelle, the light to my world, the reason I want to live, the reason I want to fight, the reason I'm still strong, I'm fine. She's the rose that keeps me alive.
So why did I feel bad and a little guilty?
When I woke up it was because Rosebelle was jumping on me. Instead of waking up in a happy and cheerful mood. I woke up with a sad, gloomy, guilty mood.
"Rose I don't want to play. Please get off." I say softly. She might've seen my painful sad expression, because she nodded and immediately got off of me. I felt bad for pushing her away, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the forehead.
"I love you." I whisper into her ear.
When I walked downstairs with Rosebelle in my arms I stayed silent. Not greeting anybody or at least giving them a small smile. It's was like I was there, but I wasn't there. I was there physically, but not spiritually.
"Hey Nichole." Logan greeted. I nodded as a way of saying 'hey' and sat Rosebelle on the toddler chair. Everybody was in the kitchen table eating their breakfast, except for the bodyguards who were outside the house.
As I was making my coffee I felt their eyes trained on me. Like they were waiting for me to explode or sob out hysterically.
Some part of me was yelling at me to tell them that I almost physically hurt myself and another part of me was telling me to stay quiet and not talk about it. Maybe that's what's keeping me guilty.
I battled whether I should tell or not. Ugh, who am I kidding. I might as well tell them. It's not like I actually did it.
"I almost cut myself." I say softly, but still loud enough for them to hear. I could practically here them stop chewing on their food. Forks and spoons clattered on the plates and I jumped at the sudden impact.
Tension could be felt in the air, leaving me to feel even worse than before.
"Come again?" My dad choked on his pancakes.
"I almost physically hurt myself." I said.
"Why?" He asks a little angry.
"I don't know. I wasn't thinking straight." I admitted.
"Did you do it?" He asks. I shake me head 'no'.
"Show me." He demands.
"Dad, I said I almost did, not that I did do it. Do you not trust me?" I ask offended. He ignored my question and gestured me to show me. When I didn't show him, he got up and walked towards me.
"Carlos if she said she didn't do it, then she didn't do it." Ryder defended.
"I don't care what she said. I need to see for myself. I know she's done it once, what're the chances of her doing it again." He says grabbed my arms and pulling the sleeves up. When he didn't see anything he sighed in relief.
"Nice to know you trust your daughter." I said angrily, pulling my arms away from his hold.
"Nichole—"
"Don't you have a company to lead." I say making Rosebelle's breakfast.
"Nichole—" I cut him off again.
"Have a nice day at work. Make sure to trust your workers." I said grabbing Rosebelle's bottle. My dad sighed and gave me a kiss on the forehead. He knows it's better to talk once I'm cooled off, but right now I'm just disappointed and upset.
"Thanks Ryder." I say grabbing milk from the fridge.
"For?" He asks.
"Defending me." I say nonchalantly. Pouring milk in the bottle I put it in the microwave for 15 seconds.
"Your welcome, I know you wouldn't do it. I believed you." He says. At least one person believed me. But what would've happened if I did do it? What would've happened if I let my thoughts get to me?
"Nichole if it's okay with you, can I take Rosebelle out?" He asks.
"Yeah." I nod.
"Do you want to come?" He asks.
I shake my head. "No, thank you. I don't want the paparazzi to follow us and ruin your time with her." I say grabbing Nichole's bottle and making sure it's not to hot.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"Yeah." I say and he nods in response. I hand Rose her bottle who happily takes it and puts in her mouth.
"So Nichole, you and Liam." Logan teases wiggling his eyebrows.
"Y'all saw everything last night, didn't y'all?" I ask with a blank face. The nod their heads and I shake my head smiling a little.
"Are y'all together?" Sebastian asks.
"Yeah, now can y'all stop asking these questions? It's weird." I say scrunching my nose. The door bell rings and I run to go get it.
"Coming!" I shout happy that I had something to get me out of the conversation.
I swing the door open and there stands the topic of the awkward conversation, Liam. He's holding Starbucks coffees and cookies.
"Hey babe." He greets kissing me on the cheek. Although I'm not use to that name, it's Liam we're talking about. He calls me a whole bunch of nicknames.
"Hey." I say.
"I brought you coffee and cookies." He said smiling.
"Just what I need." I say eyeing the delicious cookies.
"So how did you sleep? Dreaming about me?" He winked.
"No, I was actually dreaming about su—"
"Superman! We all know!" The guys and Juily yell from behind me. I jump turning around to glare at them.
"I just came to inform you Rosebelle and I are going." Ryder says holding Rose in his arms. When she see Liam she starts wiggling out of Ryder's grasp.
"Lemon! Lemon!" She squeals.
"Hey. How's my little princess doing?" Liam asks Rose. They start talking about something none of us understood while Ryder glared at him. He looked like he wanted to choke him.
"Can I have my daughter now? We're leaving." Ryder says taking Rose from Liam's hold and walking out the front door.
"Bye!" Rose says waving at Liam from Ryder's shoulder.
"I don't think he likes me." Liam says chuckling.
"It's okay. Because I like you." I say pecking him of the lips.
"I like you too." He says holding me by my waist.
"Okay let's go eat some yummy cookies." I say running upstairs with Liam behind me. I jump on the bed as Liam closes the door behind him.
"Nichole have I ever told you, how beautiful you are?" He asks.
I raise an eyebrow shaking me head. "Um, I don't think so."
"Well you're not." I frown at him.
"You're beyond gorgeous." He says claiming my lips. I smirked against his lips. I bite his lower lip causing him to growl. Tracing a hand around his chest he groans.
"Nichole the stuff you do to me." He says pulling away. It took me half a minute to realize what he was talking about. When I looked down, there was a bump in his pants.
"You might want to fix that." I say gesturing to his thingy.
He groans. "You sure you don't want to fix it for me?" He asks smirking.
"Nope I'm fine." I say. He jumps off my bed and enters my bathroom. After ten minutes of sitting in the bed alone watching a movie. The bathroom door opens and Liam comes out.
"You don fixing your little thing." I tease giggling.
"Nichole." He warns playfully.
"Fine. I just asking if you were done having a boner." I say winking. I jump off my bed and start approaching him. I bite my lip just to tease him. He starts backing up and I mentally grin.
"N-Nichole w-what are y-you d-doing?" He stutters. Although he's taller than me, I still approach him. I can see his little guy poking out again and mentally laugh.
I grab his from the collar of his shirt and pull his closer trailing my lips around him neck and face.
"You might want to fix that, again." I whisper huskily in his ear. He groans and I quickly pull away opening my bedroom door to make a run for it.
"Nichole! Come back here!" He shouts. I giggle and run into the living room where Juily, Sebastian, and Logan are.
"What's going on?" Sebastian asks.
"I gave Liam a boner, twice. And now he's mad because I teased him right after he fixed it." I say quickly, trying to hide. They burst out laughing as I hear Liam's heavy foot steps approaching closer.
"You're evil, women. Every guy hates when a girl gives them a boner and she can't fix it for them." Logan say laughing.
"Oh well, it's my fautlt he gets turned on easily." I say shrugging. Liam bursts inside the living room looking for me. I squeal and run out the living room. I was a few feet away from the stairs when I tripped on my own feet and fell. I groaned as my face hit the ground. I close my eyes turning on my back. God that hurt.
All of the sudden there was a body straddling me.
"I got you." Liam says. I tried wiggling out of his grasp, but it was useless. He grabbed my wrist and pinned me down. He started leaning in to kiss me, but I took that as my chance to take over. I flipped us over so I was on top and he was in the bottom. I pinned his wrist and started leaving in.
"How do—" all the sudden the front door flies open.
"Nichole!" Ryder shouts holding Rose. He looks down and sees me on top of Liam.
He frowns and tightens his fist. "Oh." He says, but oh does it hold so many meanings and emotions.
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Sorry for not updating yesterday. I only did like half of this chapter and I just now finished it. Hope you enjoyed it. The Bad Boy Saved Me From Hell reached 4K views on Saturday and I couldn't be happier. It's been like three or four months so that's something.
So school starts in a week and I feel like sobbing. Damn, summer went by fast.
Favorite Character? Mines Lemon. (Liam) What's yours? Comment below.
Please vote, share, and follow!
Sorry for any mistakes, I won't edit until the book is completed.
Yisel Segura🍋
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