Okay so this chapter is kind of special. I'm doing it because I hope to help a lot of people and save people from committing suicide by writing this chapter.
You need to learn to develop healthier coping methods. Not all healthy coping skills are going to work for everyone, you just have to find out what works for you. The key to being able to put several of these methods into use, is to identify when you are escalating to a crisis situation. The ability to do this is a skill itself but once this skill is achieved, your alternatives to self-harm become over-sufficient. You are able to identify that you are escalating in anxiety, becoming overwhelmed with emotion or detaching from your feelings and are entertaining the idea of self-harm.
Here are some good alternatives for hurting yourself:
~ Get rid of any sharp objects around that you have access to.
~ Go to a public place, where there are people.
~ Read a book and/or a magazine (stay away from reading material that triggers self-harm).
~ Write a journal (identify the trigger).
~ Take a shower.
~ Take a walk.
~ Listen to music (stay away from songs about self-harm).
~ Draw.
~ Color (like in a coloring book or something).
~ Watch TV.
~ Get grounded.
~ Visualize your safe scene.
~ Talk to a parent, pastor, trusted adult, or friend.
~ Pray.
~ Play sports.
~ Make crafts.
~ Get on the computer (stay away from triggering web sites).
~ Hold ice cubes in your hands until they melt then use warm water.
~ Make a no-harm contract with yourself or someone you trust.
~ Wear a rubber band around your wrist(s) and snap it/them tightly whenever you get the urge to cut.
~ Salt and ice challenge (put salt or sugar on your wrist where you want to cut, then hold a piece of ice to it, not for very long though, you could get bad burns from it, just do it for a few seconds).
~ Take a bubble bath.
~ Do deep breathing exercises.
~ Makes marks on your skin with a red marker where you want to cut.
If none of the above alternatives work and self-harm becomes imminent, "deal-making" is used as a last resort by self-harmers but it can be very effective. "Deal-making" is where you basically make a no-harm contract with yourself or someone you trust that you will not harm yourself for a specific amount of time. Once the time elapses, you positively acknowledge that you didn't act on the urge to harm yourself, reassess your state of mind and make another contract, if necessary. An example of deal-making is:
"The Fifteen Minute Rule."
It's a contract made with yourself or someone you trust, that you will wait fifteen minutes before harming yourself in any way. During this time, use whatever coping skills that work for you (this is highly recommended), or just do something to pass the time. After the fifteen minutes are over, recognize that you were able to successfully complete the contract and immediately make another contract, realizing you have the power within yourself to not react impulsively. If you still want to harm yourself, make another fifteen minute contract, but make sure that you give yourself credit for not acting impulsively.
I hope this helps you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you. If you need someone to talk to or are in need of a friend, I'm here for you. In a later chapter, I will post a list of suicide hotlines, and a few other kinds of hotlines, along with websites. I really want to help you guys and I want to save lives.