Slut Slam No More

Bullying: Part 1

"We must reject the view that, to be a victor; you must have a victim; to stand tall, you must stand on someone."

~ Harriet Woods

You cannot judge a bully by how he or she looks. Even a girl who appears to be pretty, popular, and sweet can be a bully. The only way to tell if someone is a bully is by their behavior. But very few bullies act like bullies all the time, and almost everyone has acted like a bully at one point in time. So instead of calling someone a bully, it's more accurate to say that the person is behaving like a bully--if you label the action instead of the person, she or he will be more likely to "hear" you.

Bullying isn't just physical, they also terrorize in other ways that can be a little more frightening, because they are less obvious. A bully's cruelty can be very creative.

Here are some positive ways to help you deal with the anxiety, stress, and loneliness from being bullied:

1) Be safe. If you are worried about you or someone else's safety, immediately find a trusted adult, who will help you talk to parents or school administrators about your situation.

2) Talk about it. Tell someone about what is happening--maybe a teacher, your parents, or a counselor, and brainstorm some ideas about how to get out of the situation. If it's easier to write about it, put your thoughts into a letter or your journal/diary and show that to a trusted adult. If you think that the situation is a lot more serious than adults seem to think, then keep at it. Sometimes adults need a reminder to stop and think, too.

3) Practice confidence. Work on ways to feel better about yourself, and keep your head held high. When you act like the teasing (and everything else) doesn't bother you and portray an image of strength, it helps keep others from picking on you, because they know it's not bothering you, so they get bored.

Targets of bullying are most likely to:

~ Have learning problems.

~ Skip class or drop out of school.

~ Lash out violently at classmates.

~ Attempt suicide.

Bullies are most likely to:

~ Become criminals involved in gangs.

~ Have difficulties with employment.

~ Suffer mental problems.

~ Struggle with alcohol and/or drugs.

~ Higher rates of divorce.

Witnesses who observe the cruelty and feel powerless to help are most likely to:

~ Have feelings of guilt and shame for the rest of their lives.

~ Have low self-esteem and quality of life.