August 1996 :
Ava -
I walked back and forth between my closet and my bed, packing up as much as possible; of what would be necessary for me to take anyway. The rest, I would just buy as I needed it.
From the corner of my eye, I could see Sean watching me. Every so often, his face would hold a look of sorrow, one of worry, and then one of angst. Lately, he was always so unsure of what to say to me or how to approach me. He hadn't hit me since that night in May, but I hadn't gotten over it or moved on so easily either. I kept myself busy; on the weekends we had off from touring, if I was back in Arizona, I spent as much time as possible with Deena at the apartment she now shared with her longtime boyfriend. I was glad to see her happy, living for herself for a change, and of course, she was always happy to see me. Happy to see that I was doing well, and living my dream, and happy with my life.
At least, that's what I showed her and everybody else around me. That I was happy, content, and focused on what I had to do.
Thankfully, Leann had kept her promise not to tell. But, of course, I had to make a promise of my own. And that was to see about finding some type of help, to always have some type of contact with someone I could trust if the situation occurred again. It wouldn't, I was certain, but for her to keep my secret, I had to hold up my end of the deal too.
"Will you guys be gone long this time?"
I cleared my throat, speaking low and evenly to hide the irritation in my voice. I always liked silence on my last day home, but Sean insisted that we talk. That we try to get closer to one another again. Yes, I still love him, but that didn't mean I was ready to be close and extra-loving with him. Not just yet. "I don't know. We're going overseas, starting the second leg of our tour. Three shows in one city, four in another, a week in one country, two in another." I shrugged, flipping my hair over my shoulder as I looked around the floor for the pair of Chuck Taylor's I'd just bought earlier today. "Three weeks, maybe four."
Truth was, we'd be gone for three months. Spending one in Europe, another going all over the Asian continent, and another traveling across parts of Africa and Australia. I welcomed the extended trip, but I knew Sean would find something negative in it, something negative to say. "Will you at least call me every so often, when you have time?"
"I don't know Sean."
I bent down, feeling up under the foot of our bed until I felt my fingertips touching a long cardboard box. Bending a little more, I pulled my shoes from under the bed and let out a sigh of relief, glad I hadn't lost or forgotten them like I did with a pair of heels I'd gotten myself a few weeks before. "Ava, I'm only asking because I know that this time apart could possibly hurt us even more."
"Or, it could help. I really don't know Sean."
"I want us to work things out, Ava. I'm truly sorry. I know that there's not good amount of times that I can apologize for my mistakes, but-"
"You don't have to keep apologizing. I get it; you're sorry that you hit me. You didn't mean it, I know."
"Of course I didn't. I was just stressed out, and upset about losing this second job. My pride was wounded, I let my foolish ego get the best of me and I hurt the only person that's ever cared for me. Babe, I'm so sorry." He got up and inched towards me, trying to take my hands in his but I stepped back and headed back into the closet to grab more of my things. "I know it's going to be hard for you to trust me again, and whatever you put me through to earn that trust back, I deserve it. But, please, please give us a real chance to work on things while we're apart."
Returning with a few pairs of jeans folded across my arms, I took a look at Sean and sighed. His eyes were pleading, showing signs of love and the man that he'd been before all of this had happened. The man I loved, not the one who scared me now. "I'll think about it, when I have time, okay? I can't guarantee anything Sean. You know how this works; you know that Brandy and Chauncey like for us to focus on nothing but our work. I-I can't let you and our issues affect my work."
Sean nodded and I thanked him for understanding, grabbing my bags and heading out of the bedroom after I zipped them all up.
The next night, after making it back to California to meet up with everyone else, I was sitting in the window seat of an all-night flight to London, hoping that eventually I'd start feeling the excitement that everyone else felt. Curled up in my seat, with my knees pulled to my chest, and my blanket pulled up to my chin, I only looked next to me when Keith retook his seat.
Scared to fly, he'd gotten up numerous times already; and if I didn't have my own things to worry about, I have no doubt that at some point, he'd have made me nervous by now. "How do y'all get through these long flights without thinking something bad might happen?"
"Oh, I don't know Keith, we're not all crazy and morbid like you. That might be it."
He rolled his eyes at Marliss' response before explaining. "I just, you see things happening on TV. You hear about freak accidents in nature, and, well don't you get scared?"
Marliss nodded. "Sure. But I also know that in the end, everything is in God's control. And what's meant for us, and what's meant to happen to us, will happen regardless of how we feel. It'll happen regardless of how prepared or ill-prepared we are. The only thing we're supposed to do is have faith, trust in Him and know that He will take us everywhere we're meant to be safe and unharmed. It's simple." Keith nodded his head, closing his eyes tightly as he prayed lowly. Marliss looked at me and smiled. "Ava, you're unusually quiet. I've gotten so used to hearing you sing random Gloria Estefan songs on flights, what's going on?"
I shook my head, looking out the window again. "Not feeling my best, I guess. Would be a lot easier to sleep and relax if this turbulence wasn't so crazy."
He nodded, clearing his throat as he focused back on whatever he was writing in his notebook. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, I'll leave you alone then. Hope you feel better once we land."
"Me too, thanks."
Marliss nodded again before zoning out completely and once again, I refocused on my view outside of my window.
Once we landed, and got a decent amount of rest, we gathered a few of our personal things and headed over to our venue, the Wembly Arena. Each group had a thirty-minute rehearsal before we had to begin getting ready for our show.
While the boys were on stage, getting the crowd warmed up, we sat in our dressing room in complete silence. "Girls, I want you all to know something."
We turned and looked at Chauncey, not fully surprised to see a look of aggravation spread across his face. He had serious jetlag, and I was waiting for the moment he decided to take his frustration out on us. Things just weren't right, in my opinion, unless he found something to fuss about. Especially if that something was something he could pick on us about. "Yes Chauncey?"
"Now, this is going to be real hard for me to say. As we all know, I'm extremely honest. I don't cut corners; I don't sugarcoat or none of that sweet shit."
"We know."
He rolled his eyes and we all laughed, knowing that he hates when we spoke in unison around him. "Anyway, I just want to say that... that..."
Torii groaned. "Spit it out Chauncey, we've gotta get ready to get on stage."
"I'm proud of you all."
There was a long and awkward silence before Leann stood up. "I'm sorry, I don't think I heard that correctly. Wait one second, let me get my tape recorder."
"Don't record shit, and don't tell Brandy I said it either." I shook my head. "I said that I'm proud of you all. I know I can be a bit tough, and act as if I don't care. Well, for the most part I don't care, but you've taken every criticism and harsh word and you've used it to make yourselves better. And, you guys have done the one thing I've never expected you to do."
"Successfully headline our own tour?"
"Nah, I knew y'all could do that. But, you've made it to album two. With the self-titled project debuting at number one and the sales going up week after week, due to how great of a show you girls put on night after night, the executives at MCA want more from you. They've agreed to a second album, with a third set as an option if that one does well. As soon as we get back to the states at the end of November, you're going to get a two-week break, and then it's back into the studio we go. You guys got nominated for awards this time around, but we most definitely want you to be eligible for a Grammy in 1997. I've also worked it out to where you girls can have a little more creative control over your project."
I leaned forward before I spoke. "Meaning?"
"You can pick your songs, work out amongst yourselves who will do leads, decide what you want to sing about. I guess, now that it's been over a year, you've done so much traveling, experienced a little bit, you all might have something to write about."
Troy smiled. "No disrespect Chauncey, but we're only teenagers and we've experienced more than you have."
"Sure you have. Anyway, we'll talk later about the direction they've proposed and where you guys actually want to go with this project later. I just figured I'd give you a little good news to push you through the night. I know you're working on a limited amount of sleep. Felt like sharing the good news. See you all on stage."
We nodded, watching as he walked out. "I can't believe he admitted that he's proud of us."
Leann sat back down, speaking up after Torii said that. "Hell must have frozen over. That or Chauncey's sick, either way we've got to take make the most of this nice side for as long as it lasts."
Troy -
I rolled my eyes, wishing everyone would back up off of me. "Troy, are you sure that you're good to go on? Get that boot off so that we can see what your ankle is looking like."
I sighed and politely pushed Brandy's hand away before standing up. I stood and pushed my weight down on it before taking a couple step forward, turning around, and walked back towards her. "It's fine. I just slipped and fell, nothing major."
"Sis, the floor's not wet."
"As pointed out by Leann when she quoted Friday. Thanks for your side commentary as well, Torii"
Leann laughed. "I had to, you know that's my favorite part in the movie."
I nodded. "I know, and now y'all can back up. I'm good."
Chauncey paced back and forth, looking down as if he would suddenly see whatever I tripped on. It really was an accident though. "Can we just get on stage. I hear men calling my name in sexy English accents and I'm ready to drive them wild."
Chauncey looked up. "You know Troy, just because you're sixteen now, that doesn't mean you have to go and act grown. You-you're getting too mature for my liking."
"Aww, sorry Father." I cackled before we finally headed towards the stage after the announcer called our names.
As it'd been told to us right after we landed, not only were we performing for our fans right here in London, there would be lots of famous people from the U.K. in the audience. I'd said that as long as the Queen wasn't sitting in the audience, I'd be good to go. But two minutes before we left the dressing room, Brandy had to go and make me feel fearful for the very first time by announcing that one of my favorite groups would be in attendance. Since we'd covered two of their songs, and were hoping to cover one more now that we'd been given a second album, they wanted to see us in action. Talk about nerve-wracking! Remaking someone's song is one thing, singing in front of them and hoping you don't butcher their work is another.
The lights were dimmed, and soon a silence fell over the crowd. However, once they lifted the curtains, and the individual spotlights hit the four of us, the applause and screaming was thunderous. And then, it really hit me. There on the front row sat five of my favorite singers. I knew Torii, Ava, and Leann wouldn't recognize them, because with the exception of Hip-Hop and current R&B, we don't listen to the same music. But I knew Five Star, and I'd recognized them, and I'd know that their eyes would be on us during the entire show.
We quickly introduced ourselves, waiving to everyone that called out our names. "It is such an honor and a pleasure for us to all be here, to be able to sing for all of you beautiful people sitting out in the audience tonight. We truly can't thank you enough for believing in us, for supporting us. And, we hope that we make you proud tonight."
Stepping back to join the girls at our microphone stands, I looked back towards the band, letting them know that they could begin. Dancing in our spots once they started, I smiled, watching as Torii walked forward to lead.
"I hear your records on the radio, I see you talking on the Late Late Show. Every girl wants to be your friend. Don't you know you're always on my mind? Oh, how I've missed you since you hit the big time. Oh, I'm hurting, I just can't pretend. We used to be together making dreams, making plans. But you left that world behind. Now I'm asking you, won't you..."
"Let me be the one you give your love to."
"Let me be... the one who turns your lovin' on."
Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I removed my microphone from the stand, walking forward as Torii got back behind hers. Wanting to keep myself from losing my cool or messing up, I focused on this one boy in the front row that was looking in my direction. I walked towards him and bent down, taking his hand in mine as I sang. "I see the sadness in your eyes. Don't you get lonely Baby, sometimes? Lonely for the love that we had. I'll be waiting when the day come, when you need somebody; won't you let me be the one. Come to me. Put yourself in my hands."
"You can be the one, you are the one, Troy."
I tried so hard to hold back my laughter but I couldn't. It was so cute the way he said it, especially with his accent. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking back towards the girls, adlibbing while they sang the chorus. Once I got back in line, we did the little routine that we'd worked out in rehearsal, thankfully getting through it without messing up. After that, it was a full hour and a half of performing, giving our absolute best.
The show ran smoothly, we were on point, and crowd participation was off the chain. "You guys were fantastic!" And, at the end of it all, I got to meet Five Star. We all did, but I was the one overly excited about the moment.
"Thanks Lorraine."
"I felt so proud watching you guys up there and you all sing our songs so beautifully. Of course, we all have copies of the album, so we knew it would be nothing less than greatness." I smiled, giggling like a goof. I couldn't believe that they would buy our album. Then again, we'd met so many other celebrities that supported us; it was greatly appreciated, but still so shocking.
We gave them all hugs, smiling and posing as Chauncey took pictures for us. Brandy came up a moment later, congratulating us all on a good first show for the second leg of the tour. "Sorry to interrupt your moment Girls, especially you Troy. But, one of the local papers wanted to know if they could get an interview and I said sure." I saw a camera man walk up and the girls and I quickly said hello.
"Hi girls, I'm Huntley Child. First of all, congratulations on getting the European leg of your tour off to a great start, spectacular show and as a Five Star fan myself, I truly enjoyed the trip down memory lane as you incorporated their songs into your act. I like that you made the songs your own as well. It's always super when a song is remade and it's done wonderfully."
"Thank you." He smiled at how we all spoke in unison.
"I want to ask Five Star, how did you all feel watching Fly Girl perform your songs tonight?"
Deniece, the lead singer of their group, looked at us and smiled. "They were amazing. It's still a bit of a surprise to hear such powerful voices coming from these tiny bodies, but I loved it. We adore them very much."
"And, Young Ladies, how did you feel standing and performing in the Wembly Arena?"
I smiled, speaking up since I'd been chosen as the designated speaker for most of the interviews tonight. "It's an overwhelming feeling, but it's also exhilarating. I think that the stage is a bit of a comfort zone for us, it's what we all love, so it's just a matter of getting comfortable and once we do, we're good to go. Ready to rock the house."
"Could you all get used to performing in big arenas?"
"Definitely!"
We talked with him for a few minutes before he thanked us for our time and we all headed back to the hotel to rest. We have two more performances here and then it's on to Italy, Rome, Paris, and many more cities and countries.
It was tiring just thinking of every date we had scheduled for the next three months, but there was nothing else, I don't think, that any of us would rather be doing right now. We were past the point of just beginning, but we're far from being through. With accolades, good reviews, and amazing moments like tonight, we were well on our way; with more good things to come.