Torii –
Yawning, after adjusting my bra, I pushed my breast up while looking at myself in the full length mirror they'd put in our dressing room for the night.
"I'm humungous now."
I could feel eyes burning in the back of my head, and when I turned around, my sister was looking at me as if I'd said the dumbest thing she'd ever heard. I chuckled lightly before poking and pulling at my stomach. There were rolls and flabs and creases that hadn't been there before.
"Torii, if you call yourself fat one more time while we're stuck with you on this tour, I'm going to push you down and sit on you until you get your mind right."
"I had a flat stomach, hips, and thighs, that was it. Look at this!"
"I thought you didn't want to be a pencil thin chick?"
I looked at Ava and sighed. "I don't, but these extra pounds came out of nowhere and I don't understand why because we're out here dancing every single night."
Leann laughed, quickly bringing me back to reality. "And stuffing our faces with greasy burgers and fries every night before bed. Relax Torii, you're beautiful, with a banging body. And..." She looked at me and smiled. "Raj will still want you regardless."
I let out a deep sigh, turning back to the mirror as I rolled my eyes. "I wish y'all would stop bugging me about Raymond."
"Ohhh, he's Raymond again?"
"Troy..."
"I'm just saying. Thinking back on when you guys were recording your duet together... that booth was all fogged up. Ohh, and let's not talk about when you guys performed on Late Night with David Letterman. Sparks were flying, and all we needed was for the two of you to end the performance with a kiss."
"Shut up."
She and Ava stood, moving close to one another as they sang into their brushes. "And when we touch, oooo, it's like magic. I can't believe that a love like this is everlasting. Wanna take you in my arms... hit it Ava."
"And love you for the reeeest of my life. My life, my life, my life, Sweet Baby."
They cackled as they sat back down but I found nothing about their mockery of my song with Raymond funny. "For your information, Black Thelma and Latin Louise, that is what makes a true duet wonderful. There has to be chemistry, even if it's fake."
"Psssh!" I looked at Leann, wondering what made her burst out laughing so hard. "Girl... You and Raj's chemistry is so crazy, every time I listen to Rest Of My Life I feel like I need to jump the bones of the first man I see and give him a baby. Not only is that a romantic love song, a classic... Y'all done messed around and made a baby maker for sixteen and seventeen year olds who can't control themselves or put on a condom correctly. Shoot, I heard it on the radio one night when I was hanging out; and this guy stepped to me. I was so caught up in yours and Raj's emotions that I nearly hopped on this man. And we all know I'm the gayest thing walking around."
We all fell out laughing, but I quickly pulled myself together, denying that there is anything between Raymond and I. "You play too much, Leann."
"I ain't lying! Your love for one another is so infectious, and cute."
I groaned. "I don't love that boy. I don't even like him, as more than a friend."
Troy laughed, tossing me my dress so that I could finish getting ready. "Right; and I'm not just dying for Marliss to look my way anytime we're in the audience when they're singing Let Me."
"Troy, we all know you want Marliss to let you let him do all types of nasty things to you."
"I don't, Leann!" She smirked as she finished her makeup. "I just want him to sing about doing it to me."
I laughed at my sister, halfway shocked to hear her talking this way. Then again, as soon as she turned sixteen, the typical boy mania phase took over. Thankfully, her sights are only set on one guy; though I'm not sure why either of them are waiting or playing like they don't want to get together.
"Anyway! Anytime you all see me picking up something fattening late at night, I want you to stop me. Matter of fact, don't let me eat past ten."
"Girl, shut up. You are not fat, you're fine."
I took a deep breath, thanking Leann for her compliment, though I still didn't see myself the way they saw me. Maybe I am tripping though.
There was a light knock on the door, and just as I finished zipping up my dress, someone peeked in. "Sorry to intrude, but I heard my princesses were in here."
Troy shrieked, jumping up and running straight into our daddy's arms. I smiled, hugging him a few moments later once she finally pried herself away. Ava and Leann spoke before excusing their selves to give us some privacy.
"Daddy, we thought you couldn't make it!"
He looked at me, turning his lip up. "And miss my babies' first show in Memphis? No way! I've been waiting months for this, getting on everybody's nerves at work. Do you two know that I made everybody in my department buy a copy of the album, even convinced my boss to buy four for his daughters. I'm proud of you, both of you." It was so cute the way his face and eyes lit up as he spoke. "Also, who could pass on free front row tickets?"
I laughed. "Thanks Daddy. Is Crystal here too?"
"She wanted to be, unfortunately her boss wouldn't give her the night off. The twins are with your grandparents so it's me acting like a super fan for everyone. Do we have time to catch up, or am I going to have to wait for a call from the next city?"
Clearing off a chair for him, I offered Daddy a seat and we stood beside him, leaning against the vanity. "We talk two or three times a week Dad, what do we have to catch up on?"
He looked at Troy and smiled. "I was thinking about one of the last conversations you and I had, Troy. You told me how you guys know you're doing well, but you still get scared and nervous before every show. You were telling me how you kind of wish you had good luck pieces, or something to comfort you."
I nodded, remembering that she and I had that conversation as well. "Like Leann has this mood ring her brother gave her. And Ava has this picture of her and Sean that she takes everywhere and sets up on her end of the vanity." I pointed and Daddy nodded, stating how they were a nice looking couple.
"Exactly. So, I felt that it was time I give you girls something that I've been holding on to a little longer than necessary. I guess I just wanted to wait for the right moment."
"Ooo, you came bearing gifts."
He laughed. "Yes Troy, I have gifts. But along with those gifts, I have a few words that I think you both need to hear." We both grew silent, watching as he smiled for a few moments. "You girls know that your mother sang, it was her dream to have something like this as well. So much kept her back, but she never let it dampen her spirit or her enthusiasm or love for singing. She passed that on to the both of you, and sometimes when I see the both of you in these videos and on these talk shows, I see little glimpses of her. Those smiles, the way your eyes light up. It's beautiful, and she'd be beyond proud of you. I know if she were here; she'd tell you guys that no matter how tough things get, if you love it enough, if it still brings you some type of joy, keep going. If there's ever anytime that either of you doubt that this is what you're meant to do, don't. You're right where you need to be, you're shining. Though it is your dream, you're also fulfilling hers. And you're doing a damn good job. I know that you'll both go far, you'll live fantastic lives, eventually some knuckleheads will be able to hold a candle to me when it comes to taking care of you..." I shook my head, leaning down to hug him tightly. "And in the very far future, I'll still be on the front row, screaming out loud those are my babies."
"Thanks Daddy, we think she'd be proud too."
He nodded, clearing his throat. "And, she'd want you to have these." Daddy reached into his pocket, pulling out two boxes that were wrapped neatly. Troy and I each took the box he handed to us, standing up straight as we opened them.
Grabbing the chain, I pulled out this gorgeous, gold locket with my name inscribed across the front. "Daddy, it's pretty."
"Open it, they're more beautiful on the inside."
We did as we were told, and I couldn't help myself. Tears immediately began flowing. "I've never seen this picture before."
"Neither have I, Daddy. When was this?"
"A few months after each of you were born. Your mother was real big on keepsakes. She'd been saving those for you guys on your sixth and seventh birthdays, but you know we lost her before and I just felt that it would have been a bit too much to give them to you then. Now's the perfect time. When you feel alone, and Crystal and I aren't able to be there in person; your mother will be with you now."
We hugged him, kissing his cheek before he finally pushed us away. Just as I turned to go and put my shoes on, the door opened and Brandy walked in with a smile on her face. "Hey Mr. Mercier! Glad to see you."
"Great to see you as well, Ms. Monroe. As I always say, thanks for taking care of my babies."
"It's my pleasure. Girls, Xclusive just finished their set and you have to be on in five minutes."
"Okay, Troy and I will be right there."
Brandy nodded and walked out. After gathering the last of our things, Troy and I rushed out, with Daddy in tow as we made our way to our designated spots on the stage lift and he went back into the audience.
Leann –
Who would have thought that a place known more for it's country music could show up and show out for R&B and Pop singers? Certainly not I, but when Troy and Torii did their home town, or home state rather, introductions... the noise from the audience was intense. So far, Memphis has been our largest crowd of the tour, with Los Angeles and Phoenix trailing right behind.
I guess it helped that them, along with Marliss and Raymond, being from Tennessee helped to bring in more ticket sales. Everybody has to turn out and show out for the hometown celebrities.
It was an amazing sight, and the meet and greet session was just as great.
I smiled, hugging a little boy that reminded me so much of my own brother, made me miss KC dearly. "Thank you so much for being nice to me, Leann. You're my favorite."
"Aww, and this is why I rap. Without you Aaron, there'd be no me, and I won't ever forget that." I hugged him again before he stood beside me so that his mother could snap a polaroid of us together. She thanked me as well, stating that this was a moment her son had talked about for weeks. It was endearing. And so were the moments and chats with other fans and individuals that followed.
What I had not expected, however, during the meet and greet was to bump into someone from New Orleans. At the very least, I hadn't expected to see them until I got back to New Orleans in two weeks.
"Well, I knew that you'd be big and famous one day, but I never pictured you being in a girl group."
I rolled my eyes, hugging my former best friend. "Erika, what's going on?"
"What's going on? Last time I saw you, you were a skinny chick running around the West Bank with your little brother in tow, cursing out every dude that tried to step to you."
"Oh, I still do that, I just do it from coast to coast now, without KC in tow." I shrugged, slipping my hands into the pocket of my tour jacket. "Things are kind of crazy now, but I like it." I cleared my throat. "I've got great groupmates, and friends. There's this really dope lady that watches over us. She's our publicist, but she acts as manager and mother too. You know, a mother is something I really needed so that's great. And, I get to rap and get paid for it."
"Nothing better than that. Listen, I'm not trying to take up your time or weasel my way back into your life Leann. I know things ended kind of rough between us. I uh, I just happened to be watching The Box one day and you popped across my screen. I had to take a second glance, and then I went and bought the album. Since I was here visiting my grandparents, I figured I'd see a show and say congratulations to you and your friends."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome, you guys are really good. Bye." I waved, watching as she walked away and left the room.
As I was turning to gather the few gifts I'd been given, Troy stood beside me. "Who was that?"
I cleared my throat. "An old friend."
"Oh."
"And someone I was madly in love with."
"Oooo."
I looked at her and she smiled, getting closer as she lowered her voice. "Look, you never ever talk with us when we gush over who we crush and lust after."
"Because I figured it would annoy you guys, or gross you out. At least when y'all talk about men, I can agree with who I think is cute."
Troy smacked her lips. "Girl please. I have girl crushes. I might not go down that road in my personal life, but I know a good looking woman when I see one. I can agree with a few of your choices."
"Well thanks, but as far as that choice goes, there's really nothing to tell."
"You just said she's someone you were in love with. Come on, tell me what the deal is. Or, what it was."
"Fine, but let's walk please." She grabbed some of the bags out of my hand and I thanked her as we walked out of the room they'd set up for us, heading out of the main building and towards the tour bus. "So, her name is Erika and we were best friends in ninth and tenth grade. We've known one another since grade school, but we had one of those like-hate, I run this and you're just trash type of relationships before we got cool in high school."
"Wow."
"She was just so pretty and I wanted to be just like her. I was jealous; she had the best of everything, she had money, her parents were around, did I mention that she was pretty? Once we got cool, she kind of took me under her wing and our friendship just grew from there."
"So what happened, why'd y'all fall out? If you fell out, I mean."
I nodded my head. "We did, and we fell out because of me. Like I said, she was pretty, and I'd always known that I kind of had a thing for girls. By the time I hit high school, I knew I was a lesbian and I started acting on that. Enter Erika, and our friendship growing and my feelings for her started growing too. She was the first person I came out to, first person I admitted I was in love with."
"Aww, did she feel the same?"
I stopped walking and Troy followed suit. The look I gave her, I'm sure, said it all. "She felt some type of way alright. Felt disgusted enough to out me to the whole school at the end of sophomore year."
"Oh my God."
"Right, fast forward to the beginning of junior year, and all of a sudden, she comes apologizing. Talking about she's a lesbian too, but she didn't ever want to act on it because she never wants to come out. Soon as she suggested a secret relationship, I cut ties completely and went on about my business. Never even really forgave her for putting me on blast."
"And you didn't try to fight her just now, that's a surprise."
I laughed. "I'm not that mean, nor does it bother me now. I was just shocked to see her that's all." I sighed, looking at Troy. "And I'm so mad that she still looks so good. God, it took everything not to slide her my number or ask for hers."
Troy smiled. "Well, since you're both from New Orleans, and we'll be there in two weeks... I bet there's a high chance you'll see her again. After all, our stop in New Orleans includes a night in a hotel before we drive to Atlanta. That's a whole night to walk around The French Quarter, or wherever and talk before we leave."
"Haa, you're too hopeful about this."
Troy laughed. "I know."
We started walking again, laughing and clowning until we walked up on Ava. She was leaning against the back of the bus, crying. Troy and I looked at one another before we set my things down. I was just about to pull Ava into a comforting embrace when she flinched.
"It's just me, Ava, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." Her voice was so low, and she refused to look up at either of us. "I-I'm fine."
"Ava, you can talk to us. We're friends, close enough to consider one another sisters. At least, I consider us to be that close now. You can tell us."
"I'm fine Troy!"
Troy stepped back and nodded, letting me know that she was going to put my things on the bus for me. I thanked her, waiting until she was gone and on the bus before I turned my attention back to Ava.
"Troy's right, you know. We are like sisters now. And, as your best friend and big sister, I think it's only fair to tell you that crying is not the move. Especially after we've successfully ripped a stage apart."
I cracked a smile, but it did nothing. Ava still refused to look up. She kept turning her head, almost as if she were trying to hide, or hide something. "Leann, just get on the bus, please. I'll be there in a few."
I thought to do as she asked, knowing that sometimes you just wanted to be left alone with your tears and your thoughts. I often felt like that myself. However, I also knew that sometimes, if someone happened to see me cry or happened to see me hurting and in pain, I'd want them to care enough to ask, at least. "Ava..."
"Just get on the bus!"
She jerked her head towards me and it felt as if my eyes popped right out of their sockets. I couldn't believe the sight before me, nor did I want to believe it. "Ava, who the hell hit you? Why would someone do this to you?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It does! Oh my-" I gently cupped her chin, turning her face towards me so that I could see. My heart sank to the bottom of my chest. Sure, I've been abused, been in some terrible situations where people have messed my face or some other part of my body up; but things like that don't happen to people who don't deserve it. Ava doesn't hurt or bother anyone. "What happened?"
She shook her head, sniveling. "He didn't mean it."
"He?" I stepped back for a second to make sure no one had stepped off the bus after she yelled. "Who is he? Sean? Was he in the audience again?"
Ava nodded. "He didn't mean it Leann, I swear. He's just under a lot of pressure."
"Oh, he won't understand pressure until he realizes that I'm out to get him. When I see him, I'm going to beat his ass."
"No!"
"Ava, I don't care what he's going through, you don't deserve to be hit like this! You don't deserve to be hit at all! What is he mad 'cause you're not home? Mad because you're living your dream? Oh, I get it; he's one of those bastards that can't stand for a woman to make more than him?"
"You don't know him."
I sighed and wiped away her tears, lowering my voice. "I know that anyone that says they love you isn't supposed to raise their hand to you in a harmful manner."
"He didn't..."
"He did. They always mean it." I moved closer. "Ava, listen to me, please. People who abuse their loved ones, or the ones they supposedly love, they say all type of things to justify their actions. I didn't mean it. I'll never do it again. I love you, I was just upset. It hurt me more than it hurt you. That's all bullshit! They know what they're doing, they know who they're doing it to, and they damn sure can control themselves if they wanted to. They can help themselves if they really wanted to. If he loved you, he wouldn't have even thought to put his hands on you. He meant it. He will do it again. Girl, you don't deserve that."
"I swear Leann; he's never done it before. It was an accident." I sighed and stepped away from her, shaking my head. Ava looked at me, with so much fear in her eyes. "Whatever you do, please don't tell anyone around us."
"Are you kidding me?! We sit in makeup chairs every night Ava, how are you going to explain away a black eye and a busted lip. Your damn jaw looks swollen and you're struggling to talk as you make excuses for this fool. How do you expect to get this past anyone? Especially Brandy and Kyrie. I can't believe you just said that."
"Don't judge me!"
I asked her to calm down. "I'm not judging you, I'm trying to help you see how wrong this is." I cleared my throat, pulling Ava into a hug. "I can't tell you what to do with your marriage or how to handle things when you finally get back to Phoenix for longer than a day. I have no right to do that; but please, take my suggestion. Get away from him, and stay away from him until he gets some type of help or something." I pushed her back a little, forcing her to look into my eyes. "My father beat the hell out of me all the time when I was younger. And every time he'd say, I won't do it again. Ava, they always do it again, and again, and again. Don't let yourself get caught in that, please."
She quickly wiped her face and put her sunglasses on after pulling away from me. "Just don't say a word to anyone. I'll never be able to trust you again if you tell." And with that, Ava walked off and got on the bus, leaving me to feel like complete crap for knowing something this heavy.