May 1996:
Troy –
It all happened so quickly! One day we were casually celebrating the release of our debut album and the success of our first album signing, and after that weekend, we were getting calls stating that we'd debuted at number one, and Xclusive debuted at number three. Our Christmas singles had done well, only held back from the number one spot because of Mariah's All I Want For Christmas and Boyz II Men's Let It Snow re-entering the charts for their second and third years in a row, which was fine with all of us. Torii and Raymond's duet, however, burned up the R&B, Pop, and Contemporary R&B charts throughout the remainder of December, all of January, and half of February.
From there; there was literally no stopping. Trips all across the states; performances, interviews, promotion, and more. We'd even landed spots to perform on two sitcoms; though they were last minute requests, we gladly accepted.
We were in high demand, the money was officially rolling in, and we'd finally gotten to a place with Chauncey where he didn't feel the need to jump on our cases every day. We'd done what he'd required of us all, met and exceeded the personal standards he had for us, and in turn, that made him step back tremendously. As always, the girls and I were Brandy's responsibility, while he turned Xclusive over to someone else while he went to develop another act. He was still our manager; he just wouldn't be as hands on unless he had free time.
That was cool with us; gave us less to worry and stress about, made it easier for us to focus on being ourselves while still doing and giving our best in our performances.
Today, we were in Greater Manchester, on our first official trip anywhere overseas, and preparing to make our European debut. Our first stop was to the Top Of The Pops studio, and in an unusual move, we were being allowed to sing live.
That called for rehearsals, four hours worth, before our actual performance.
"Why do they want us to fill out these information cards? What if I don't want anyone to know how old I am or when my birthday is?"
"What are you fussing about now, Marliss?"
He looked at me and shook his head. I found his random blurts hilarious, especially since he'd been tripping about telling people his age ever since he turned seventeen in December. Everything he said, did, read, or saw made him feel 'old'. "Nothing."
"You're acting like you turning seventeen was such a bad thing. You're not old, you know. Besides, Ava turned seventeen in December too. Leann made her eighteen in November. Torii just made her seventeen a few days ago, and I just turned sixteen. We all get older, Goofy. Embrace it, enjoy the perks and freedom that come with growing a year older."
"I didn't say I was old, Troy. I feel old. But since you mentioned the fact that we're all older now, and you're officially sixteen now..."
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I looked down at my lyric sheet. "Nope."
He scoffed, and I held back my laughter as his eyes bucked for a few seconds. "You don't even know what I'm about to ask you, Ma'am."
"I do know what you're about to ask me. The same thing you ask me every time we happen to be around one another." He smirked, licking his lips as he moved closer to me. He took my lyric sheet out of my hand and held it behind his back. "Tariq-"
"I like it when you call me by my first name. I prefer it when you do it, actually."
"Give me my paper back, please and thank you. I have to get ready."
"Psh, you don't need this. You're perfect, with or without rehearsal."
His dimples flashed and I sighed, quickly pulling myself and my thoughts together. "Stop lying and give me my paper."
"Or what?"
I groaned, trying my best to grab the lyric sheet from him. Of course, he had to make it difficult, make it where I had to climb on him just to get it. After sitting back in my spot, pulling my shirt down, I popped him on the back of the head. "Why do you do me like this Troy?"
"Nobody has time to play games with you. Be glad the perfectionist in me didn't strangle you."
"I'm not talking about you slapping me. Why do you ignore me and the fact that I like you? Come on, since the day we met one another, we've been talking and clowning. We've gotten to know one another quite well, and you know that I've got feelings for you." I shook my head, mumbling the words of my song to myself. "And, I heard from a little bird that you've had this insane crush on me since last year."
I jerked my head in his direction. "Who told you?!" I felt my heart rate speed up, and I just knew I was blushing, I was beyond embarrassed. Mortified.
"No one, I was just making a guess. But since you've confirmed it..." I slapped him again, frowning as he fell out laughing.
"That was so cruel of you to do that to me." I sighed, lowering my head. "I didn't want you to know that."
"What's wrong with me knowing? What's wrong with you liking me?"
"Nothing, it's just that... ugh, I can't stand you right now. Please leave me alone so that I can refocus on this."
"Am I distracting you?"
I, unintentionally, raised my voice as I went off on a slight tangent. "You're always distracting me, and I wish you'd stop. You might forget it because you're not in Tennessee often anymore, but I haven't forgotten. You still have a girlfriend, and unless you're going to do something to remedy that, I'm not about to worry myself with you."
Marliss placed his finger beneath my chin, making me look in his direction... in his eyes as he spoke. "I haven't forgotten, which is why the last time I went home, she and I broke up." He shrugged, moving his hand after he pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. "She wasn't feeling the long distance, she most definitely didn't trust me, and she picked up on the fact that I was feeling someone else."
I looked at him intently, unsure if I should believe him or not. "Mm, well, that couldn't have been more than what... two weeks ago? I think you need a little more time before you try to move on to harassing me permanently."
He chuckled. "That's alright Troy, I'll wait for a 'yes' from you. I think you're worth the wait. I know you're worth it."
Marliss got up and walked off, grabbing a microphone from the table when it was announced that it was their turn to rehearse.
After our Top Of The Pops triumph, as it'd been called by the host himself, we were invited back to perform at a later date. We did a few additional shows and performances around England before heading right back to California for another talk show performance a week later.
This time, we'd be on Daytime with Ricki Lake. We'd already done most of the morning shows, all light night. Then we'd done one of the final Donahue episodes, and Oprah's show twice. Since there weren't too many shows that focused on having musical guests, or shows that didn't focus on drama and fighting, our options for exposure were somewhat limited when it came to Daytime talk shows.
I didn't mind. Though everyone mostly laughed at me about it, Ricki's show was one that I watched faithfully, along with Maury, Jenny Jones, and Jerry Springer.
Then, there were three more guest appearances, and the official start of our very first tour. This time, we had headliners. While everyone else felt the pressure was off of us, to get the crowd warmed up and prepared for us, I felt like more had been added. We've got so many people, ready to see us night after night; the next task is giving them their money's worth.
As we stood in a prayer circle, I kept my eyes closed, listening as Desmond led us all. "And Lord, we ask that tonight, on our first night, you watch over and keep us. Give us the strength to go out and live up to the expectations set, not only by us for ourselves, but those set by the many who have chosen to believe in and follow us on our journey. We ask that you continue to guide us, we ask that you continue to bless us all as we go out into the world using the magnificent gifts you have bestowed upon us. For, we know, that none of these moments and experiences we have been given would be possible without you. Please bless Chauncey, Ms. Brandy, Mr. Henry, and every important individual surrounding us, helping us make our dreams come true. Bless those who have given us a way and place to express ourselves." We all said Amen and gave quick hugs before the boys went on to start their set after our first opener finished theirs.
Stepping off to the side where our head stylist, the individual that was kind enough to offer his services for all four of us while we toured, was standing. As he usually did, Rashaan smiled wide before pushing my hair over my shoulder. "Ready to rock that Phoenix crowd?"
I nodded, saying hey to Ava when she stepped beside me. She'd been a nervous wreck for the majority of the afternoon, but I just figured she was scared about being back in her hometown. We'd all be that way; Leann when we get to New Orleans, Torii and I when we hit Memphis. "What's wrong, Ava?"
She looked at me, pulling at her top. "The twins are trying to pop out. My husband's in the audience, on the front row, and the last thing I need is for him to think I'm trying to flash more than just him."
Rashaan chuckled, asking her to step forward so that he could get her fixed up. "Don't need any type of malfunctions at all. You all look so cute though. I really like these type of vests that can be worn as tops. I'm so jealous of these flat stomachs though, all of us ain't able, Child."
I looked down at myself for a second. "I still say we should have worn an actual top underneath though. What if a button pops? I don't nobody seeing my bra, or the fact that I'm still somewhat flat chested."
Rashaan laughed. "Girl, I helped you button that vest, and if that's what you consider flat chested... I'd like to know what you think is an ample amount of breast."
I looked over at Ava and smiled. "What she has that's trying to pop out the top of her vest."
"Ughhh!"
I laughed at how Ava threw her head back dramatically and tugged at the top of my pants. We stood around talking for a good twenty minutes or so before Brandy came rushing towards us, announcing that Xclusive were finishing up their set, letting us know to get our microphones, mic-packs, and get into our positions on the stage lift. It was show time.
Ava -
Praying silently, I listened as the announcer made our introductions, speaking of each of us one by one as the screams from the audience grew louder and louder. I'm beyond ready for the first night to be over and out of the way, to be out of Phoenix.
Though I hadn't invited them, and I'm so uncertain of what had possessed them to buy tickets or even show up, I'd spotted my parents in the audience. I didn't want to see them, didn't want to bump into them afterwards or around the city, didn't want to give them a chance to critique me, the show, or my lack of talent as they'd called it on the card they sent backstage for me.
"Ladies and gentlemen of Phoenix, Arizona... please, give a warm welcome to Leann, Troy, Torii, and your very own Ava... known as FLY GIRL!"
The audience erupted into loud screams and clapping, the lights dimmed, and before any of us could think, the person operating behind the stage had hit the switch for us to be lifted up from the center of the floor. I could hear the intro to the first song we'd be performing, along with our names being chanted via the recording Marliss and Raymond had done for us.
After the lift had stopped, the lights clicked on, and all eyes were on us. The sight, overwhelming. THOUSANDS screaming, yelling, staring in our direction. I could see a sea of boards with our names, various words of encouragement, our song titles, requests and statements. From the looks of it, we'd sold out; something no one had told us about the first show. Taking our cues from one another, we began to wave, blowing kisses in the directions that we heard our names being called. And there, as I looked on the front row; Sean, my parents, and my brother, all staring intently. Lifting my microphone, as I'd been tasked as the one to start things off, I smiled. "Phoenix!!" The applause was thunderous and I laughed. "Phoenix! Are y'all ready for the very first Fly Girl show?!"
I looked at the girls, smiling. "They don't sound ready to me, Ava."
"I know right, Torii." I held my microphone up again. "We can't hear you!"
Once they'd grown so loud that we all had to cover our ears for a moment, I nodded my approval. "We were wrong, you're ready. Thank you all so much for joining us on the first show of our tour. Thank you all so much for buying our albums, sending us straight to number one!" I cleared my throat. "But most importantly, thank you all so much for having faith in us as artists, for proving what so many different people have told us; that we'd never see a moment like this. Because of you all, we're here, and we hope to be here for a long time." The audience applauded and I smiled. "Now Ladies..." I looked over at my groupmates before stepping off of the lift, walking towards the front of the stage. "Let's shut this down!"
Troy took her cue and ran with it, starting us off with the first note of the night. With that, we hit the ground running, giving our all.
When we got to the section where we performed our slower songs, stools were brought on stage. Since I would be singing the song that featured my solo before we got to the others that either Troy or Torii led, I took the stool that had been set further to the front. I looked behind me and Troy gave me a thumbs up, whispering that I could do it. I nodded, thanking her before I turned back towards the audience.
"I'd read in a few of the letters we all receive that this happens to be a fan favorite, and I hope that you guys don't mind me performing it." Someone in the audience screamed out the title of the song and I nodded. The band began playing our song Every Word, our drummer leading off first before our keyboardist joined in, followed by everyone else. Behind me, the girls harmonized, with Torii doing a few adlibs.
Wanting to quickly push my nervousness out the way, after glancing at the front row once again, I closed my eyes and zoned all the way out. "Listening to the wind, Baby, upon a cold dark night under moonlit skies. Looking at your room, Baby, I see two silhouettes on the window shade. I can't believe it, what I'm hearing; your passionate whispers cry out like a hungry wolf. I can't believe this, what I'm feeling when the trees all sway as if to share my pain."
I held my microphone out, just to see if anyone would sing back. And they did, from every section of the audience, they sung the words loud and clear. "I thought that we had love, in a world that had gone astray."
I smiled, opening my eyes as I continued singing on my own. "But as I was standing outside your window, I heard every word."
Torii, Troy, and Leann all sung as softly as they had when we recorded the song. "Every word, every word."
"And it cuts just like a knife, with every word you said. With every word, I cried." I stood, walking slowly across the stage as I continued, loving it as I heard the crowd singing along with me. "Ooo, walking through the night, Baby; with every step I take, emotions fill my mind. Thinking to myself, aww Baby, was it worth the pain... to keep holding on." Surprised at myself, I smiled, glad I'd remembered Troy's advice not to force it when I went for my somewhat high note. Again, the audience sang back to me when I held my microphone out, and I swayed from side to side before I began walking towards the other end of the stage.
"I heard you telling her you were over me. A fool in love, too blind to see. I just couldn't bring myself to face it. That moment in time, felt my life slip by, but never again will you see me cry... the way that I cried." The music stopped behind me and I smiled, singing in my normal registered as I finished, drawing out the very last word. "I heard every word." I chuckled, thanking everyone as I took a bow. "I did alright, huh?"
"Yeeees Ava!" I thanked Torii and hugged her as we switched stools, taking a deep sigh of relief that I'd made it through without messing up.
Once the show ended, and we'd done our special meet and greet, I was given the okay to stay behind for a few minutes as my parents had requested to see me. It was enough that Sean's sudden sadness was thrown on me, as he made his way backstage immediately after the show. I was honestly in no mood to deal with being berated as well.
Though they'd walked in saying I would have to choose who I wanted to spend my short amount of time with, Sean knew instantly my parents meant he'd have to leave regardless of what I chose, and he excused himself.
Taking a seat at the vanity that was now clear of mine and everyone else's makeup, I took a deep breath. "What do you want? To tell me how terrible I was up there? I know it already, thanks. If that's all, you can go."
My mother rolled her eyes before speaking up. "Actually, we thought we'd give you the benefit of the doubt for once. A great and important friend of ours, her daughter made mention of you actually making it into some silly group, so we thought we'd give it a little listen, see if it was up to par."
"And you hated it, I know."
"Child, if we'd hated it, we certainly wouldn't have wasted the money in supporting you. Anyway, you were nice up there. I naturally assumed you'd be one of those back up type of singers, but you got your chance to shine, and you held your own."
I nodded, forcing myself not to look in her direction. I already knew; in her mind, this was a compliment. But if others could hear her tone, the way each word slid off her tongue as if some type of sharp edge was attached to it, designed to cut into my heart and soul; they'd understand why this hurt me more than it helped. There was no sincerity, though I don't really know why I was expecting any. "Thanks. Is there anything else you want?"
"Yes, for you to come home now that you've gotten this foolish dream out of your system. You're seventeen years old now, you can get that silly little marriage dissolved and we can find some way to make it as if it never happened."
I looked up, looking at both of my parents through lowered eyes.
I burst out laughing, crossing one leg over the other as I shook my head. "And just what is so funny Ava Leigh."
"You! Somewhere in the back of my mind, when I saw you sitting in the front row; I thought gee, maybe they do love me after all. Maybe they're here to actually support me and my dreams. But I quickly dropped that and I thought they must want some money. Or a way to squeeze themselves back into my life so that they could be the parents of someone famous and that connection could draw more attention to their business to earn them more money." I shook my head again. "You truly don't love me. You don't care. This isn't some foolish dream, it's what I love! It's my life, it's what matters most to me now."
"What should matter is school and a life at home."
"I dropped out! How about that?" I really hadn't, but at this point, I was looking for any reason to make them hate me to the point that they'd never want to bother me again. At this point, their approval was no longer needed, wanted, or desired. I'd never get it so I wanted to cut ties and stop stressing and crying over it now.
"You just love testing my patience, don't you Ava." I ignored my mother's question. "Your father and I will be home. We expect your return, with all of your belongings, in the morning. Tell whoever is over this thing that you're quitting and going back home. That's not a suggestion or a request, it's a demand."
As they both turned to walk out, I laughed again. "Make all the demands that you want to make; but I'm never coming back home, not to your home. I'm not quitting or letting my career go, and whether you think so or not, I'm just going to continue to grow to be better and greater as an artist. Here, I have people that love and care about me, I have people that support me."
"You're being used, so don't pretend or play dumb about that."
"Goodbye."
Giving neither ofthem the chance to say anything else to me, I grabbed my bag and rushed out,pulling Sean along once I noticed that he'd only been waiting outside the door.He and I would just have to finish our conversation on my way back to the tourbus.