Ava -
Pacing back and forth in one spot, feeling as if I was wearing a deep hole in the floor, the only thing I could do was think about the events of the day before. The entire week, really.
Tuesday I was upset, so sure that I wouldn't even be able to get out the house following an intense argument with my mother. Against her best attempts at grounding me or forcing me to 'stay put' in my bedroom, I packed up a few of my things and I left. That night, the only sensible thing I could bring myself to do was to go to Deena and tell her that I loved her, that I would call her as often as possible. She tried everything to convince me to stick it out, but I just couldn't. Through her tears, she gave me that record she mentioned and some money she'd been saving to give me on my eighteenth birthday. That was when she was planning to leave.
I wouldn't take it, but she insisted, and the last thing I wanted to do was fuss with her before leaving. I wanted our relationship to stay intact. As for my parents, there was a weak threat of disowning me if I walked out of the door, but even a weak threat was enough to let me know I had to go. I didn't care whether I ever saw them again or not.
Being told the truth about yourself, that's one thing. I learned early in life that not everyone will coddle you or tell you exactly what you want to hear, just to appease you. But to be berated and put down, especially by my own parents, it was just too much, and had gone on for too long.
Honestly, who did they think they were to tell me what I'm capable of when they couldn't even tell me the last time they'd sat with me for longer than an arbitrary family dinner. They hadn't had any type of interest in me since the day I turned four. After that, it was daycare and school, camps and summer programs. Trips abroad and boarding schools for a year or two. Anything to get me off of their hands and out of their hair. Really, who were they to tell me anything about myself when they sometimes had trouble remembering the simple name they gave me at birth?
That night, I walked out and didn't look back. I headed straight for Sean's and thankfully, though he was worried, he let me stay. Wednesday, I found my way to school, but even things and people there got on my nerves. I'd been told that a teacher was instructed to bring me home at the end of the day, and instead of making an excuse to directly disrespect that teacher, I checked myself out early and went back to Sean's. I didn't return Thursday or Friday, choosing to use both days as final practice days since Saturday, today, I would have absolutely no time.
This entire morning, I've been a bundle of nerves, unable to concentrate because I have so much going on, and so much more that I'm planning to do once this is over.
I'd breezed through the first two rounds, but then it got a bit tough. Somehow I'd made it through to be paired with the powerhouses, and the only thing that saved me was singing some random 80s ballad that no one else knew the words to. Though I missed a couple of steps, and at one point found it hard to keep up with the two girls I'd been grouped with, I made it through the dance portion as well. All I had left following that was my solo, and I chose the song Deena had given me. I didn't exactly love it, but it was one that I could showcase my vocals.
I just have to get my mind together when they call me into one of the back rooms. I've just got to make it.
"Baby, would you please relax and take a seat next to me. You've made it this far, so obviously you're good. We've seen hundreds of girls leave here in tears today, but you're still here. You've made it to the last round. Relax a little."
I looked at Sean and sighed, finally taking a seat next to him. I knew I was getting on his nerves; from constantly asking questions, to the fact that I'd kept him up all night while I was practicing. I'd ask him to go in the room with me, but I'm almost certain that if he has to hear this song one more time, he'll leave my behind right here in downtown Phoenix. "I can't relax. What if I forget the words? What if I sing off key, or miss a beat? What if I start fumbling with my words, what if I open my mouth and nothing comes out?"
"What if you just go in there, do your best, and leave the rest to the man upstairs. If it's meant to be, it'll be. But I want you to calm your nerves before you go in there and mess yourself up."
I sighed, sitting back as I folded my arms. Two girls' names were called before I finally heard mine. Nervously, I stood and grabbed the numbered tag I'd been given from Sean. Walking to my destination, Room 5, I walked in and quietly closed the door behind me. There, waiting, were two judges. One looked as if she lived to crush dreams, while the other just looked as if he was tired and ready to go.
"Ava Fuentes?" I nodded. "It's been a long day, so we've been cutting the formalities. You know why we're here, we know why you're here. We want your absolute best. What will you be singing for us?"
That was the lady who looked as if she crushed dreams. I took a deep breath and spoke clearly. "Heart Of Stone by Taylor Dayne."
"Keep it short, please. We're pressed for time."
I nodded and she motioned for me to begin when I was ready. I picked up the microphone from the table where they were sitting and took a couple step back towards the wall. Getting the beat in my head, hoping I remembered it correctly, I lightly tapped my side with my free hand as I moved a little bit, trying to get into a positive space as I thought about how I would shorten the song.
Lifting the mic, I began, zoning completely out. The only thing I could do was pray that I didn't run out of breath in between words. "We need to lay in each other's arms, there's nowhere else to go. It's all so easy and I want you to know... there'll never be another one who could get this close to me. Everything you give to me is everything I dreamed of." I closed my eyes, scared to see what type of reaction their faces held.
I opened my eyes, choosing to move around the little space that I had. "You try to make like I'm not there to show me how you feel. You don't have to hurt me with the hurt that you won't reveal. There'll never be another one that can get this close to you. I can give you everything that you ever dreamed of. Even when you turn your back now, I can feel you reaching for me. Even when you walk away, I still know where your heart will be. I can't believe you've got a heart of stone. I seen your tears fall when you thought you were alone. I can't believe you've got a heart of stone. The more you try to hide your love, the more it shows. I can't believe you've got a heart of stone. I can't believe it."
After doing an adlib or two, they both held their hands up, asking me to stop while they began writing on the papers they had sitting in front of them. "Very interesting. That's actually one of my favorite songs, and while I don't believe there's anyone that can sing a Taylor song as well as she does, that was very decent. Extremely decent for a teenager with a small range. Thank you for auditioning and we'll be in touch with you on Monday."
I took a deep breath, and nodded. While I'll take his words as being mostly positive, I've got this strong feeling that I won't be chosen. Walking back into the waiting area, Sean held his arms open and asked how it'd gone. "Alright, I guess. I'll find out Monday, but now that it's over, let's not talk about it, okay?"
He looked at me. "Why are you upset? Baby, I know you went in there and knocked 'em out."
"I don't think I wowed them enough, but seriously, let's not talk about it. I don't even want to think about it until I get that call Monday." He nodded and I looped my arms through his after grabbing my bag that I'd left beside him. "Let's go and handle the other situation now."
"And you're sure about that?"
I nodded. "As sure as I'll ever be."
Troy -
I squatted next to my sister and rubbed her back, trying my best to convince her that things weren't over just yet. Here, we all assumed that I would be the one that was the nervous wreck, but Torii had taken on that role as soon as she woke up earlier this morning.
"They still called your number, T."
"I know Troy, but do you know how many times I missed a note or step? All of that is going to count against me and I know it. Ugh, not to mention we don't even find out who's chosen until Monday. They're dragging out my death sentence and I can't handle it."
I smiled, giving her a comforting hug. "Today is Saturday, and that's barely a two-day wait, it'll be fine. Remember what Crystal told us when she dropped us off?"
"No. I don't remember anything. I can't even remember the words to my solo."
"Relaaax! This won't be the end; it won't be the last time either of us are faced with great pressure. If we don't make it, it will be okay."
My sister took a few deep breaths before finally pulling herself together. She wiped away the tears that had fallen, no doubt she'd been putting herself down the entire time before I finally managed to get over here to the corner where she'd placed herself.
"Look at you, raccoon eyes. Let me fix your makeup."
I sat down, grabbing her bag and opening it before I began going through everything she'd thrown into it. I personally didn't care for makeup, didn't wear it unless I really had to, but I loved doing hers. "Troy, how are you the one that's so calm?"
I shrugged, asking her to hold still for a few seconds. "I haven't the slightest idea. Maybe it's because I just woke up with positive thoughts. Maybe it's because I dreamed about Mommy last night. Either way, I'm just calm."
"What'd you dream about Mom?"
"Just that she was still here. I think she'd be very proud of us even having the nerve to try. Remember she used to have to push us on stages when we first started singing. She wasn't one of those crazy stage moms; she knew we wanted it, we were just scared."
Torii smirked before giving me a straight face again. "Yeah, I remember. Daddy used to say maybe them gals don't wanna get up on that stage, thought about that Trina?"
"And she'd tell him shut up and watch our babies shine, Steven. Watch them shine." I laughed thinking about it. "Yeah, I think having that dream is what has me so calm. It's like, I know she's watching, and no matter how we do or what the end result is, she's proud of us."
"You know what Troy, that just made me feel so much better. Thanks."
"Hey, that's what baby sisters are for. I meant to tell you at breakfast, but I didn't want Crystal to feel bad. I know she doesn't mind, and she likes to hear about Mommy, but I get the feeling that it could be awkward are hard on her sometimes too. Especially if Daddy joins in the conversation. I never want her to feel like there's something she has to live up to."
Torii nodded once I finally finished, thanking me. "Yeah, I know what you mean."
Before I could say anything else, I heard my name being called over the loud speaker, followed by where I was to report to. That meant it was time for my solo, and the final process of my audition. That's when my nerves finally started to hit me. I'd made it through the multiple group tests, the dancing, and the little question session. But this, this solo could be what makes or breaks me.
"Hey, Troy."
"Hmm?"
"Knock 'em out. I mean it. Give it your all." I nodded, hugging my sister before I got up and made my way back into the main part of the center where they were hosting the auditions.
Walking past one room, I heard a guy singing and if I could imagine Heaven sounding like anything, it was definitely his voice. It was so distinct, but you could pick out who his influences might have been as well; from his tone, his diction and the way he enunciated as he sang, to the notes he sang and when he chose to slip up and down between his octaves. If he was holding back, I'd hate to know what his full range is. This was perfection.
Though I found that odd when I first arrived, I quickly learned that they were putting together two groups, one male and one female. All that I can say, whoever this guy is, I hope he makes it.
Finally walking into the room I'd been assigned, I closed the door behind me and smiled at the judges that were waiting. One of them, a lady by the name of Janine, had already judged me in the dancing portion. I only hope she'd be just as kind right now. "Hello again, Troy."
"Hi, everyone, how are you all?"
They all nodded, stating that they were just fine. "What will you be singing for your solo?"
"It's Gonna Take A Miracle by Deniece Williams."
They nodded and gave me the floor. The only thing I hated was that at this stage, it had to be acapella and I was so used to singing with instruments or a backtrack via a karaoke tape.
"Loving you so... I was too blind to see you letting me go. But now that you've set me free, it's gonna take a miracle. Yes, it's gonna take a miracle to make me love someone new. 'Cause I'm crazy for you. Oh, didn't you know it wouldn't be so easy, you letting me go. You can be sure that now-" A man, with an extremely stern face lifted his hand and asked me to stop.
"I'm sorry."
"No, don't be. You were doing fine, I just don't believe that's a song for you. Do you have another prepared?"
I shook my head honestly, asking if I could have just a minute to think of something else. They agreed and I turned away, trying to convince myself to stick it out. Lord knows, him raising his hand was enough to send me running out of the door.
Without even telling them what I'd be singing, a few seconds later, I just started. Maybe not saying what it was, they wouldn't have a preconceived notion of if it was a song for me or not.
"I'm so... confused, and I think I'm gonna cry... tonight. What must I do, Baby? You don't know what you mean. Oh, tell me something; tell me could this really be, Baby. You're so unpredictable. Why must you treat me this way? I want you to love me... for who I am. Whatever happened to the dreams we used to share? Where did our love go? Boy, don't you even care? "
I took my sister's advice, owning my talent and giving my absolute all as I went into the chorus. I began moving around, giving myself the room to work the audience of judges. Though there were only four, they still deserved a performance that I could potentially give to a crowd of thousands or millions, right? "Bye Baby. Bye, Baby. Don't leave, leave me here all alone. I want someone I can call my own. I may be young but, I'm ready, ready to ... fall in love. I'm so... confused. You're so unpredictable. Trust in me as I trust in you; put our heart together, there's nothing we can't do."
The man held his hands up again, stopping me. He smiled warmly, clapping just before the others joined him.
"Very well done. You've got such a maturity to your voice, it's almost hard to believe that you're not even fifteen yet. The reason I said the first song wasn't meant for you is because I felt you were holding back, or would hold back by the time you got further along. Coming back out, just jumping right in, I feel Tender Kisses should have been the choice from the beginning. Not only did you show that you have some type of range, though I have a feeling that wasn't it in it's entirety, you made it look so easy. The words, the flow, the notes, and key came so quickly and so naturally. I like that a lot. That performance was equal to the original, if not slightly better. Great to have you sing for us, Young Lady, we'll be in touch."
I nodded, thanking them all as I made my way out.
As I was walking back to find my sister, I felt myself being hit and knocked over. Standing back up quickly, I dusted the back of my pants off and apologized for not paying attention. "No, it's okay, that was my fault. Um, hope you don't mind me asking, but was that you singing in there just now?"
I finally looked up, smiling a little at the guy standing in front of me. He had the clearest, prettiest dark brown skin; like hot cocoa. "Yeah. I probably sounded a mess, but they were nice about it."
A genuine look of confusion washed over his face before he lowered his eyes. "Are you kidding? You were great." He cleared his throat. "My judges stopped mine just to hear you."
I gasped, covering my mouth. "I'm so sorry. Oh, I probably ruined your moment. I'm sorry."
He shook his head, smiling wide. A beautiful smile too. "I was almost done anyway. You were amazing though. Better to be interrupted by a great voice than a terrible one."
I nodded. "Thank you."
He extended his hand so I accepted, shaking it. "I'm Marliss. Are you auditioning for solo or a spot in that girl group?"
"I was only aware of the group spot. I'm Troy, by the way. Nice to meet you, Marliss."
"Nice to meet you too. I've gotta go, but best of luck to you."
"To you as well, thanks again."
He walked away and I shook my head. "Lord, when did you start making them that fine in Tennessee, and why aren't they in Mount Pleasant?" I shook my head before finally making my way back out to the waiting area. By the time I got there, it was Torii's turn.