The guy whom Anna thought I was gazing at stood directly in front of me, and it was a wonder I didn't see him staring. He had smooth olive skin, outrageously curly black hair and deep green eyes. I felt my stomach turn uncomfortably as he saw me staring and winked.
This. Cannot. Be. Happening.
Anna gasped and giggled girlishly. "Wow, Jess did you see that? Girl, you have to talk to him," she insisted putting an emphasis on "have".
"Uh....I better not, he's probably gay"-
"Jess! He's so not he just winked at you!"
"Well maybe he's experimental"-
"Oh come on!" She said rolling her eyes and linking our arms together. "We're meeting him."
"Anna-no!" But unfortunately I was still stuck in a body that was not half as strong as my own, and as Anna demonstrated, my arms had nothing on hers.
She yanked me up to the guy who was examining a nice pair of Nikes, and he looked up when we approached him.
"Hola, senoritas," he murmured solely looking at me. I gulped unattractively. I hoped it was enough to make him lose whatever interest he thought he had.
"Hi," Anna said boldly, "I'm Anna, and this is my friend Jessica. But you can call her Jess." She said fluttering her eyelashes and nudging me towards him.
I stumbled forward and nearly fell before big strong hands caught me by the shoulders and steadied me.
I tried to jerk away but the meaty tanned hands held me in place.
"Easy little senorita, don't want you to fall and hurt your beautiful self."
Anna was clearly enjoying this more than me, though this dude was totally oblivious to it. "Do you have a voice, beautiful?"
I cringed visibly, hoping he would see it. "Uh..."
"Jess!" Anna scolded, "she's really shy," she said for me.
"Well I am, Antonio Fabio Gabreille Lopez." He grabbed my hand and brought my hand and raised it up, "but you may call me Anton," before I could process what was happening he grazed his lips against my knuckles and I jumped back and yanked my hand away.
Anna seemed to sigh romantically and chuckled at the redness of my face. Little did she know I was holding in all the rage to not reel back and punch him in the face.
"Do you have a number then? I would love to call you sometime...maybe have dinner?"
I cringed visibly again, "Um...no...I don't think so," I replied, trying to sound as nice as possible.
"A movie?"
"No."
He smiled a smile that Anna obviously found dazzling by the way she sighed, "I'll even take a peaceful walk in the park."
Damn. This dude won't quit!! "Um...no. its just...you see I'm interested in someone else...." Anna shot me a quizzical look at this information. I stared inconspicuously back at her.
Its not like I was exactly lying.
Unfortunately my rejection didn't seem to sway my blind pursuer, and he flashed a smile again, "very well. Just know that Anton will always be around when the other guy fails to.." his eyes scrutinized me up and down and I felt violating shivers run up and down my spine, "...satisfy," he finished with a wink.
Anna gasped and placed her hand on her heart as she gazed happily at him, then me.
I was clearly gagging now.
"Annabelle," he said her full name in way of good-bye, and the way she reacted started to make my already green eyes greener. Then he looked for a longer time at me, "beautiful."
"Jessica," I snapped. It wasn't my name, but I'd rather have him call me by a fake name then a pet name.
He laughed at my response with deep roaring chuckles, then looked at me again, "as you wish...beautiful Jessica."
I was flaming now. He was pushing buttons. As he sauntered away Anna stared at him longingly and I rolled my eyes in true disgust. After he had turned a corner and was out of sight Anna full on socked me in the arm with if not all, most of her physical strength.
"Ow!!" I whined, "geez, what the fuck was that for!?" There would most definitely be a mark tomorrow.
"For throwing away opportunity" she snapped at me. "Holy, crap, Jess what the hell were you thinking!?"
I shrugged. "He's not my type." And to be honest I don't think there will be a "he" that will ever be my type.
"Not your type? Not your type! You must be one picky girl if he's not your type."
"I don't know if I'm that picky..."
"Please," she sighed rolling her eyes. "With green eyes that intense and you still wont budge? Not even a number? Hard to get, much?"
I laughed. "Please if I want to stare at green eyes I'll just look in a mirror."
"Yeah that's true. I really like your eyes. They're pretty...different...ya know its funny its almost like I've seen them somewhere before....." she was gazing into my eyes at an extremely close angle, and though I know I should've avoided her stare, I realized that her brown eyes had specks of light brown in them. Undoubtedly the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen.
I hadn't realized we had stopped walking until bodies had to move around us and grunted irritably. I was about to speak when Anna cut me off abruptly, her brown eyes still gazing deeply into my green-brown ones.
"So..." She started, "you're interested in someone?"
You.
"Ummm....no, not really..."
"You ever have a boyfriend?"
"No."
"Do you want one?"
"No."
She smiled. "Me either."
I was shocked at this. "You never had a boyfriend?"
"Well not one that I actually cared about...well once...but that's a different story for a different time.." she had cast her eyes to the floor again.
"I wanna know," the way I said that was probably too intense, but I was too captivated by her radiance to care.
She looked at me, probably catching the sincere ness in my voice and began to speak, her eyes now watching mine carefully, "I was in love...we dated for two years. Around the third year he had gone on a family vacation, and he said he would be gone for several months. He told me he'd be outta state and he worried about someone else trying to claim me.
I told him that my heart belonged to him and no one else but he said he needed..." her eyes left mine as the searched the air for the word, " 'reassurance' " she shook her head and laughed at herself, but there was no humor in it. It was a self-mocking laughter. "So...we planned for a day, rented a room and...." she let it hang.
"You did 'it.' " I finished for her, for some reason hoping I was wrong.
She raised her eyebrows slightly and nodded her head, not looking too thrilled. "Yup." I felt my ears growing hot as she continued, "he was my first." If i were a cartoon, I'm pretty sure i would have steam or volcanic smoke shooting out of my nose and ears right now. But her voice was subdued and she looked down at her hands as she spoke, so even though I didn't really want to hear it i manned up and listened, because I knew this was something she needed to say.
"Oh I was a sucker for this guy. He had it all: looks, money, a gentleman, " she chuckled dryly again, "I was so hurt I cried whenever he had a new girlfriend. Its just that when I saw him whispering in her ear or even holding her hand....it just reminded me of every broken promise I had been expecting for so long but never got...."
My anger was still there but now it was mixed with something else, and this other now slightly familiar emotion was becoming a little too familiar for comfort: guilt. This was pretty much all the information I heard about Carrie.
Why did it mean so much to girls anyway? And its not like I broke EVERY promise. Just about loving her forever, and her meaning the most to me and getting back together after we did it. But then looking into Anna's heart-broken eyes, I knew I was kidding no one but myself, and no one but me thought it was funny.
"Anyway," Anna said suddenly to change to a lighter topic, "we're here for you. And....we need to work on your new look. Come on!" Her energy was back and she was pulling me into another store.
Yay.
One of the only good parts about my five hour shopping day, was when my "new wardrobe" was finally complete, and Anna modeled some stuff for me. I clapped and cheered and she pretended to catwalk in a yellow flowy high-low dress, and marveled at all the jewellery she put on.
It was undoubtedly one of the best days of my life. Of course, the best day became questionable when we met with the rest of the girls and went into Victoria Secret.
While all the girls ran around fantasizing about how so-and-so's face would look if they saw them in this, I walked around falling Anna around like a puppy dog feeling like a pervet following a bunch of girls even though I was in a girl's body. When Anna offered what would look good on me I cringed and explained that my budget was about spent. That worked for a while....and only a while.
"Come on, Jess just try it on!!"
"No!" Women are beautiful creatures. Breasts, ass, stomach, legs, eyes, lips, back, everything is pretty much smooth and flawless to a guy, even if she doesn't think so. And don't get me wrong, touching, rubbing, kissing a girl's assets is always fun, but for some reason seeing those assets on me? Not a very attractive thought.
Unfortunately I was pulled into a locker room, tossed in with a very skimpy red and silky bra and panties to match, and had Shelley and Denise stand by the door to prevent my escape. I gulped and looked at myself in the mirror. I still had a greasy forehead, tangly brown hair, unnatractive clothing, and a slouchy posture. I sighed.
Little did they know no lingire no matter how silky, red and skimpy can beautify this beast of a body I was trapped inside. Once again I cursed the witch for not making me a hot chick, and putting me through this wretched sex change period.
Slowly, with one eye half open I peeled up my shirt. Upon seeing the peek of a muffin top I nearly sqeauked and yanked it back down.
"What's going on in there?" Denise asked through the door.
"Yeah, Jess hurry up! Dont make us go in there and help you!" They giggled at this, and I half-smirked, thinking that if I was Jesse that offer would sound very appetizing.
"Um...working on it...." I called back. 'Okay Jesse, be a man. Take off your shirt. Huh. Be a man...I wish..'
"Jess!!" They both whined in unison.
I sighed. "Okay..shirt going off now..."
"You're barely taking off your shirt?!" Denise whined.
"That's it, we're coming in," Shelley threatened.
"No! No! Im putting on the bra now!"
"Well hurry up!" They said in excited voices, clearly eager to see.
I had turned my back to the mirror, and indeed removed my granny white bra and shivered as I felt the effect of my no-longer-supported-by-a-bra chest. I struggled with the new one, not really knowing how to put it on, but seeing it was already connected, pulled it over my head like a shirt, and got the damn thing on.
"Stage two!" I updated them so they wouldn't barge in. In response they just giggled and continued talking excitedly about their bra choices. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and quickly yanked off my granny panties and shrugged the red ones on. "Okay!" I called, my eyes still closed. "All done."
The feeling was totally unnerving, having something squeezing your chest and groin area at the same time. And on top of that a bunch of girls were gonna stare at me! I suddenly got terrible flashbacks about swimming lessons I got when I was younger, when my mom made me wear a speed-o and all the girls and guys were laughing at me. Which one was worse? At that moment, I would take the speed-o any day.
They swung open the door, and judging by the sounds of their excited squeals they loved what they saw.
"Aaah!" Carrie screamed, "oh my gosh, Jess, you have breasts!" She exclaimed as she suddenly squeezed them. I jumped and squealed at the feeling. It felt like packages of fat that weren't even supposed to be attached to my body.
Boobs have never seemed more less attractive.
They laughed at my reaction. "Jess! Open your eyes!" That voice was Jenni.
"No. I already saw."
"Don't be silly. Anna! Come out and see Jess!"
Now Anna is gonna look at me?
Speed-o please. I would most definitely take the speed-o right now.
However, I tried to keep the drool in my mouth when I was greeted by smooth, creamy breast bouncing towards me, barely covered in a dark purple babydoll that flowed open in front. I was right about her toned-ness.
Her abs were perfectly sculpted, her waist was miniscule, and her hips were dangerously curvy. I felt my head move up and down as they followed the bounce of her breast as she bounced up and down.
"Wow Jess you look amazing!!!"
And youre fucking sexy.
"Uh...uh...."
"Omg guys, she's speechless," Jenni cooed. "And, this is just the beginning of your make-over. If you think this is impressive, wait till we OFFICIALLY make you over." While saying this Jenni had discreetly grabbed my shoulders and faced me to the mirror. Standing in front of me was a girl with may I say, pretty impressive breasts.
They weren't as big and rounded as Anna's but they were there. Her figure wasn't as hour-glassy as Anna's either, but she did have a waist. Being a guy i gave her a 6.5 out of ten, and it wasn't until I looked up into the green-brown eyes that I realized the girl was me.
The girls giggled again as they gauged my reaction, and though my now empty wallet and self screamed against it, the skimpy red lingerie found itself going home with me.
It was a very exhausting and humiliating "girls day" and once it was over it was time for the sleep over at Anna's house. It was here I realized girls lead a very exhausting life.
Personally, as a guy not would I only have Aiden with me besides myself, but at the mall we'd probably literally buy two things each (at fye most likely) go home and play video games, eat pizza and call it a night.
But as a girl I had to be dragged through almost every single store imaginable, and afterwards I had to spend even more time doing even more girly things at this sleep over that would probably have more girly talk and include very little sleep. I just hoped the conversation wouldn't stray toward periods and PMS.
I made a mental note not to make another "plan" again.
Sure enough, being at the sleep over was like being at the mall all over again. Anna's parents weren't home so we had the house to ourselves and fooled around downstairs before high-tailing it upstairs. We modeled all the stuff we got that the other girls didn't see and talked about people's reactions would be. I really just wanted to sleep.
"So do you really think Brian will like it?" Carrie was asking. She was referring to a nice yellow dress she bought that she was going to use to "attract" Brian's attention. I was surprised to hear this; Brian was on the baseball team and was a very introverted kid with blonde shaggy hair who barely said anything.
Of course all the girls nodded and encouraged her and told her how fabulous she looked. It was when she did a "test run" on her full outfit, make-up and Jewelery included that I said my first words of the night.
"Don't put so much make-up on, it'll look like you're trying too hard. And those big hoop earrings? Lose em. They're too intimidating. In fact how bout you just stick with the simple pearls, one necklace, and one bracelet- the simplest one. Don't stress yourself trying....to look...per...fect...?" I trailed off due to the six pairs of eyes staring back at me in awe. "What!?"
"Jes...how do you know all this?" Denise questioned.
"Uh..."
"Yeah, I thought you said you never had a boyfriend?" That from Shelley.
"Well...."
"Oh, please guys, Jess might as well be a boy expert," Anna cut in, unknowingly coming to my rescue again.
"I should?"
"Duh!" She turned back to them, "there was this guy who was staring her down in the mall today, and he was SOOO F-in' sexy!! He had tanned skin and theses deep green eyes..." she trailed off as I'm guessing she recalled the memory, and I felt myself flush a little. "Anyway, Jessica had him eating out of the palm of her hand!"
At that statement and before I could clamp a hand over her mouth I was bombarded with boy questions: how do guys like my hair? How much make-up should I wear? How much perfume is too much? What does it mean when he does that? What does it mean when he says this?
I was probably answering guy questions for a good half hour and I found the simple things they stressed out about entertaining. Compared to the female race, us men are very simple creatures. It was crazy and kinda cut about how much they over-analyzed things.
They asked random questions about this and that for a while longer, and I gladly answered them, wishing I could go home and tell Aiden how psychotic the female mind is. It wasn't until Jenni asked a question that things sombered up a bit.
"I have a question," she said playing with her fingers after I had answered Denise, "why do guys cheat?" Everyone fell silent at this question, and in their minds I could see the wheels turning and thinking back to their own experiences. "I mean..if a girl is no longer making them happy anymore..why don't they say anything...?"
She was clearly hurt, and I felt my stomach twist as the thought that maybe she was thinking Aiden was cheating on her with me was wrong in at least over a million different ways.
"And don't they notice anything?" Denise asked, glaring at the floor, "when you say something for them or sacrifice something for them...hell, when you care about them why does it seem like you always cared more than they did?"
"They never see how much they hurt when they make you look foolish..." María added softly.
Before I could open my mouth to answer Shelley opened hers, "and they lie. They say all this crap just to get into your pants and when you see through their bullshit they lie about you." I knew exactly who and what she was talking about.
"Or," Anna added, "they hurt you and act like you have no feelings! Don't they know how sensitive we could be!?"
It was quiet for a while as we all sat there absorbing the now melancholy mood and all the questions. I personally couldn't help but feel like these were all personally directed to me. My fears were confirmed when Carrie broke the silence, "Jesse told me he'd never met a girl that made him feel the way I made him feel."
"Girl , please, I've been told the same thing," Denise threw in.
"Me, too but you know what I noticed guys?" Shelley asked. When everyone shook their head no she continued, "I don't think he's ever told me my favorite color."
"Or what I'm passionate about," Carrie added.
"Or my middle name," Denise tossed in. I did know her middle name! It...started with an S....a D... an I...well, who remembers middle names anyway nowadays! I screamed in my head. Though I totally agreed with myself it didn't stop me from feeling like an asshole.
"Wow, so is Jesse like, a bad guy? I mean when he was taking to me he seemed really cool but then he just...tripped that poor girl..." Anna asked, sadly remembering the incident.
I was about to gladly answer her but once again one of my many fast-talking exes beat me to it.
"No he's not," Denise surprised me, "he opens doors for you, he showers you with attention and he knows how to make you feel like you're the most beautiful girl in the world."
"He's a sweet talker," Shelley added with a mischievous nod in agreement.
Carrie rolled her eyes, "Ugh, ya think?! He knows all the right words to say at all the right times! Even when you tell yourself that this might be a joke to him one sentence and you'll slap yourself for even thinking it!"
Wow, I'm really that good, huh? At that thought I didn't know if I wanted to high-five or face palm myself.
"I like Jesse," Jenni chimed in.
Thank-you!!!
"I mean, Aiden really likes him. He introduced us. Even when Jesse does do these asinine things Aiden only has good things to say about him. He really looks up to him which is a good thing and a bad thing in my opinion," she giggled.
Looks up to me? To my what? My Casanova-ness?
All this information was hammering on my brain and making my already exhausting day even more exhausting. "Still," Shelley was saying, "try gives him and all the other jerks no excuse to be assholes."
"They don't realize it," I found myself saying exhaustively. "Guys don't really notice when you guys get trims and layers ans shit like that. They'll notice if you shave your head or if your hair suddenly grown 18 inches...I don't know, we just notice little stuff like that.. and as for cheating? You girls always say, 'if you're not happy just leave;' but we look in your eyes and we see that you don't want them to leave. And believe it or not guys don't like to hurt you. For some, we want to just leave but its not that simple..."
I looked up due to the growing silence and saw the six pairs of eyes looking at me intently again. Some had understanding, awe, and confusion. I sighed, sat up and began to elaborate, "if a guy wants to break up with because... I don't know they feel like you changed," I saw some about to protest so I elaborated on this too, "sometimes when you girls are dating a guy you show him this fun, chill side of you - but once you start actually going out sometimes you become paranoid and jealous.
"And the problem with that is...well, everything. If a guy wants to break-up with a girl no matter what he's an asshole for it...."
It was silent as the girls absorbed my words. To my surprise, they seemed to understand and even confessed to times when they did those things. They chatted about it for a while longer while nail painting and magazine browsing until Anna's dad shouted for us to get some sleep. After sharing text messages and spilling a few more secrets one by one they finally drifted off.....