Move in with him?
I was stunned. "I...I...." Words failed me.
His disappointment was clearly conveyed by the expression on his face, his bottom lip rolling outward, eyebrows pulled down and drawn together. "You don't like the idea," he finally said.
"No, it's not that, Harry," I assured him, shaking my head. I pondered the idea more, trying to come up with the exact words I wanted to say. "I guess I just...." I faltered again. "Remember the night we visited your parents? Before we left, you said that you were serious about us, serious about marriage and family."
"Of course," he nodded. "None of that has changed."
I smiled, my heart deeply moved by his conviction. "I feel the same way. You're already part of my future as far as I'm concerned.
"So, what's your hesitation with this idea?" He asked, kissing my fingertips.
"It's just that living together feels so ambiguous. There's no commitment. That doesn't mean I don't trust you, but I think that moving in together feels like we're putting marriage on the back burner."
"Are you ready for marriage now?" He asked, a tiny smile tugging up at one corner of his mouth. "Do you want to get married?"
"I don't know," I said, throwing my hands up in the air, and then smiling apologetically. "No, wait. I do want to marry you. I think that maybe what we're missing is the longevity, you know? It doesn't feel like I'm making sense, and I hope I'm not confusing you."
"I'm a little confused," he shrugged. "But I want to know what's going on in your head. This - everything we decide about us - it's about the two of us, not just what I want."
"And it's not all about what I want either," I smiled. "Let me put it this way. I know I love you. I know I want to marry you. But maybe we should let it age a little. You know, like a fine wine. Just so we know we're truly not rushing into anything."
He nodded along with the words I'd been saying. "How about this? You keep the key, and you keep your apartment. But you know that you're welcome here, any time of day or night. I want you to feel like it's your home. Then let's put the marriage discussion on hold for a while. Maybe until this expansion project at the hospital is completed, or at least well underway."
"That sounds perfect," I nodded, kissing him soundly. "Thank you for tonight. I think it was the best birthday celebration I've ever had.
"You're welcome, baby," he murmured, with his lips only centimeters from mine. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
It was Sunday in the Emergency Department, I was certain that half the city of Chicago was in our waiting room.
"What's up with the massive crowd of people?" I asked Gloria, one of the other nurses who was just finishing the night shift. "It's 7:00 AM, for heaven's sake. On a Sunday!"
She shook her head, her eyes wide with alarm. "Be. Prepared. Must be something about the weather, with those insane, late-season thunderstorms we had, but people are ca-razy today!"
She was right. It had been unseasonably warm since November started, with temperatures well into the 60's and 70's. When people were usually pulling out their driving gloves and parkas, it was still warm enough to go without a jacket. The past two days had also been unbearably humid, which made the perfect combination for strong to severe thunderstorms.
"Yes!" I gasped. "There were tornado warnings in the west part of the state, from what I heard. The world has gone mad." Those kinds of storms this late in the year were a rarity. Maybe people thought the world was really coming to an end this time.
"I don't know," she said, shaking her head with what looked like fear in her eyes. "But you wouldn't believe the patients I had last night."
"I can only imagine," I said, patting her back. "Go home and get some sleep."
As always, I was shoved mercilessly into the Emergency Department rush. I already had ten patients assigned to me, and more were coming in. Patients, parked on gurneys as temporary beds, lined the hallways since all the rooms were taken. I already knew that at least half of these people would probably go home with nothing more than the doctors' orders to "rest and drink plenty of fluids." We live in a world of hypochondriacs, thanks to the internet's helpful, and often inaccurate, information. But by law, we can't turn anyone away until they've been examined.
My first patient, Susan, had just arrived, so I started her intake. "What brings you in today, Susan?" My standard greeting for every patient, unless someone has an obvious injury like a bone poking out of their body.
She seemed completely calm and lucid, saying, "I think I have Dragon Pox."
I laughed kindly and said, "I never got into Harry Potter much, but I know what those are." She just looked at me with a seriousness in her eyes that threw me off. "So, can you tell me what's going on?"
"Look at this!" She said, thrusting her arm out towards me. "I'm sure it's Dragon Pox."
"Okay, well, let me make a few notes in the computer and then I'll have a closer look, all right?" She was still regarding me with a serious face. "First, can you please verify your first and last name for me?"
"Susan Denise Atkins," she said, sharpening her gaze. Great, I thought. She thinks she's a serial killer.
"All right, Susan, and your date of birth?"
"September 29, the year 840 AD."
I closed my eyes, trying not to lose my patience. I knew it wasn't her fault, but it was frustrating to try to play detective with a schizophrenic. "Do you have any ID?" I asked calmly.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "I gave it to Harry for safe keeping."
"Harry?" I questioned, confused for just a moment.
"Harry Potter, of course. Aren't you paying attention?"
Oh, right.
I pulled on my exam gloves and had a closer look at the rash, which was most prevalent in the creases of her elbows, under her armpits, and around her neck. Heat rash. I was sure of it, but of course, I couldn't make the diagnosis. "It's been pretty warm lately," I commented. "Have you been staying cool enough?"
"Oh, heavens no," she said with a look of fright. "I keep the temperature set at 85 degrees, year-round."
"That's too warm, hon."
"It keeps the weasels away," she said in fear, her eyes widening.
I truly had no response to that, and I had to bite my lip to not laugh at the poor soul. I pretty much knew we would be making a call to Lakeland Psychiatric Hospital after the doctor completed his examination.
"Well, Ms. Atkins, a doctor will be in shortly to examine you." I left, muttering, "Oh, dear Lord." I hoped that she wouldn't start to wander or cause any sort of ruckus, so as an afterthought, I popped my head back into her room and said, "Please don't go anywhere."
My next patient was a young woman named Kierstyn who was in obvious pain. I can always see it. If there's real pain, there's a certain look on their faces that most people can't fake.
"Hi Kierstyn, my name is Ellie, and I'm your nurse. Can you tell me what's going on?"
She gave me a very detailed description of the pain she'd been having in her back, much of it located around her left flank and lower back. She had thought maybe she pulled a muscle, but the pain kept getting worse, with intervals of sharp, intense pain that made her lose her breath.
"On a scale of 1 to 10, with ten being the worst pain you've ever felt in your life, where is your pain right now?"
"N...nine," she gasped, experiencing another wave of pain.
"Oh, you poor thing," I cooed over her. "Let me check with the doctor to see if I can give you something for the pain. Do you have anyone here with you?"
"M..my...mom. She dropped me off and she'll be back in a little bit."
"Give me her number, honey, and I'll make sure to let her know what's going on."
I left her room and texted Harry, asking about the pain meds and warning him about Susan, the serial killer.
One of the reasons I loved this job was because it was never boring. There was always a new story, a new crisis, and new puzzle to figure out. I hated seeing people in pain, like Kierstyn, but knowing I could potentially be part of the solution always made me happy. It was a kind of gratification that I appreciated, but it wasn't always the case that we sent people home with smiles on their faces. I hoped Kierstyn's case would be simple and easy to fix. When the simple cases outweighed the difficult ones, it was a good day.
I made the rest of my rounds as quickly as possible, and went back to check on Ms. Atkins, or whatever her real name was. The charge nurse had done some searching and found out that she was a mentally ill patient from a group home nearby. Her real name was Susan Alice Woodfield, and her psychiatrist was on his way to help determine where she should go after we were done treating her rash.
Dr. Styles was already in the room with a resident named Markus, asking her to describe how the rash felt and when she had first noticed it. She told him, in mostly coherent sentences how long it had been going on. Then he asked, very carefully, "Susan, can you tell me the last time you took your medications?"
"Oh, I'm feeling fine, doctor," she said, waving off his concern. "I don't need those anymore."
These cases were the hardest, trying to convince someone that they do indeed need their medication and then hoping that they would follow through once they left the emergency department. "Susan," he said tenderly, "I want you to take your medication every day. Even when you feel really good, you need to keep taking it. Promise me that, okay?"
She smiled and nodded at Dr. Styles, clearly enamored by his warm and gentle nature. But then she pointed at Markus - well, Dr. Dubois - and asked, "Can we trust him?"
Harry didn't miss a beat, answering, "Oh, I promise you that he's completely safe." He continued, "The rash you have is called miliaria. Also known as heat rash." Yes! I was right.
"I have malaria?" She asked, starting to freak out. To be honest, that's the way most people heard it the first time, even though we always made sure to say heat rash as well.
"No, no, Susan, mill-ee-air-ee-uh. Heat rash. I'll prescribe some cream and it should be as good as new in a few days. Oh, and Susan? Trying keeping your heat down to 75 or lower, okay? I've heard the weasels don't come in if it's warmer than 70."
"Thank you, Dr. Styles. Thank you so much!" She gushed. You would think he had just given her a million dollars. On the way out of her room, Harry just gave me a little smirk, and I returned a wink.
I wanted to get back to Kierstyn, but I had another patient to do an intake on first. I went in and found a mother with her teen daughter, who was lying on the exam bed shaking and looking extremely pale. Instead of going to the computer, I pulled on a pair of gloves and introduced myself to Torie and her mother Bernice. "What's been going on?" I asked, trying to get Torie to calm down.
"I...I don't know what happened. I got up this morning to get ready for church and as I came downstairs, I almost passed out. It was weird, I just suddenly got really dizzy and everything went blurry. And now I'm really scared."
Her mom included, "When she got to the bottom of the stairs, her knees buckled, almost like she was going to pass out."
"It's okay, honey, we're going to find out what's going on," I assured her as I listened to her heart and lungs. Her heart rate was a little fast, but nothing to worry about. "When's the last time you ate something?" I asked.
"Um, at a friend's birthday party last night," she said.
"Uh huh," I said, encouraging to keep going.
"I ate some cake and ice cream, like everyone else."
"Uh huh," I said again. "Did you drink any alcohol?"
"No!" Was her immediate response, shaking her head in the negative. "There was no alcohol there."
"Okay, well I'm going to do a real quick finger poke, all right? That will tell me if it's a problem with your blood sugar." I grabbed an alcohol pad, a sterile lancet, and a blood sugar meter. "It's gonna be a quick poke," I warned her just as I gave her fingertip a little jab. The test strip absorbed the blood and I placed it in the meter. Her blood sugar was at 50mg/dL, not dangerously low yet, but getting there, and certainly enough to make her feel this way.
"I'll be right back," I announced, and I quickly left the room to get a juice box for her. I also stopped by the blanket warmer and grabbed one for her, hoping it would help to calm her shakes.
"Here you go, Torie," I said. "I want you to drink this right away. You have low blood sugar and this will make it come up to a normal level. The doctor may still want to run some other tests to find out why your blood sugar crashed, but once he gives the go-ahead, I can get you a sandwich or something else to eat, okay?"
I tucked the warm blanket around her, which she welcomed. I handed her mom the nurse call button and told her to ring it if there were any problems, and that I would be back shortly to check her blood sugar again.
I found Dr. Styles just finishing up with Kierstyn. Her mother had arrived and the doctor was filling them in on his recommended course of treatment. "She will have to be here for a night or two, but if we can schedule the surgery for tomorrow morning, she'll be feeling better in a few days." Kidney stones, I gathered from the remainder of the conversation. Poor girl, they must have been huge since surgery was usually the last resort.
After Dr. Styles left, I started taking Kierstyn's vitals. She had received a high dose pain medication, so she was a lot more relaxed now. "So, Dr. Styles is hot," she giggled.
"You think so?" I asked, a small smile blooming on my face.
"Yeah! I think my mom should ask him out," she said, casting a playful glance at her mother, an attractive redhead who couldn't be more than 40.
"Kierstyn!" She said in shock. "I don't need you to play matchmaker for me."
She ignored her mom and asked me, "Do you think he would?" She was clearly enthusiastic about the idea.
It goes without saying that it was against protocol to discuss a staff member's personal life, but she asked a direct question, so I answered it directly. "He...already has a girlfriend. And they're pretty serious."
Kierstyn snapped her fingers. "Shoot." Then she mumbled, "I bet she's beautiful. Do you know her?"
I worked hard to keep a professional smile on my face, but the blush gave me away. "It's you, isn't it?" Kierstyn's mother chimed in. "See?" She turned to her daughter. "Now you've embarrassed me."
"Don't worry about it. I'm not very good at hiding it, am I?" She shook her head and gave me a supportive smile. "I have to admit I'm pretty lucky, though."
"Yeah, you are!" Kierstyn exclaimed, making her mom and me both laugh like crazy. I was glad she wasn't in pain anymore, but the medication sure loosened her tongue.
Harry and I were lucky enough to leave together at the end of our shift. It didn't always work that way. He often had to stay and follow up with test orders and paper work. Sometimes I stayed to keep him company, but I was thankful we would have the evening together. He was experiencing a nice lull in the ER-planning activity, so we would have time just to enjoy a leisurely dinner together. And maybe go to bed early.
Unfortunately, the lull didn't last for long.
* * * * *
Just for laughs - I have several nurses in my life. I always get such a kick out of this "alternate" pain scale.
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This chapter's ER scenes featured Nialls_obsession, who plays the silly Schizo Susan, @t0riee, and @Kierstyn818. Let's give them a round of virtual applause for their fine acting!
I was half-joking about wanting to do research on the ER. But I spent eleven hours there this past weekend! I went Sunday because my bladder/kidney issue wasn't resolving itself, and the following night, I took my husband in. He is a hemiplegic due to a stroke back in 2011. He slipped on our front stairs ten days ago and hit his ribs really hard. The pain got really intense and he was finding it hard to breathe. Seven hours, an XRay, an EKG, and a CT scan later, he was sent home with pain pills and muscle relaxers for severe bruising. *Sigh* Up close and personal isn't my favorite mode of research anymore!!! LOL
And I prefer Harry & Ellie's story much more because it's so much more romantic. :D