CHAPTER 012
" dear theodora "
June twenty-first was a balmy summer's day.
Justene Embry was ambling home, having completed her morning jog. She dabbed the sweat away from her eyes while checking the post in hopes that the ever-slow postman decided to do his job today.
By the look of it, he had. There was a lone item inside.
The woman pulled it out and smiled down at the circular item that glistened in the sunlight. It was a CD and she knew who it was from.
Excitement buzzed and fuzzed inside of her and she had to fight the smile away from her features.
Putting the CD aside, she went to the door and raced inside. She didn't bother being quiet, out of fear she might wake up her sleeping daughter. It was ten o'clock in the morning and, having been out all hours the night before, she knew Theo would be in dreamland for quite some time.
The CD was loading and the woman rubbed her hands together. She couldn't believe that her beloved boyfriend Brad had gone out of his way to do such an unexpectedly romantic thing.
It made her feel like a teenager again, honestly.
Closing her eyes as the melody from an acoustic guitar soared and surrounded her, Justene sat back. She was ready to enjoy the love that she and brad shared.
"Measuring a summer's day, I only finds it slips away to grey. The hours, they bring me pain."
Wait. Who the hell is this? This is not Brad. I know Brad's voice and this is not it. Do I have a secret admirer? A stalker?, she tried to think as she continued listening to the song. Whoever was singing and playing wasn't half bad.
She thought, I know this voice. It sounds too familiar to be a stranger.
"Tangerine, tangerine. Living reflection from a dream; I was her love, she was my queen, and now a thousand years between." the mystery voice sang.
Sitting straight up, Justene had pieced together this puzzle and it was enough to make her want to jump out of her seat.
It was Paul.
It was Paul who had covered this Led Zeppelin song. It was Paul who made this CD and, my God, it was Paul who made this for Theo -- as it claimed on the front of the disk.
But why?
That was the missing link. She had always assumed that Paul and Theo were just friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Why would he be singing her a love song? Was there something going on beneath the surface? Was Theo keeping secrets from her mother?
On the back of the plastic casing, Ms. Embry found a hastily scribbled poem, the words looping on the page.
It's not always easy, but it's not always hard.
iI's not always bright and vivid, but it glows in the dark.
It's usually unexpected, more often than not.
It chills like ice, but burns when it's hot.
Heads whirl with anticipation and possibility.
The hurricane of emotions makes hearts leap.
It brings back memories.
Things that explode like fireworks,
or things that flutter
like butterflies.
It's so many things all wrapped up into one.
It makes kings out of commoners
and angels out of bottom feeders.
You crash,
you burn,
you fall,
you crawl --
anything to make it out alive.
Not many people warn you of the violence
of it all, but without violence there is no beauty.
The most confusing thing
about it all is the fact that
you put your heart on the line
time and time again
out of sheer hope
that you'll get it right.
And I think I have.
No, I know I have.
And I have all along.
She gasped upon realizing the poem was unfinished. The woman wanted to know if Paul was trying to declare his undying love for her daughter.
The thought was enough to make her begin to cry.
Her baby was growing up.
Speaking of her baby, the door opened and in strolled a yawning Theo.
"Ma, what are you up to? This music is so loud. I mean, it's good, but still so loud."
Justene had a million things she wanted to ask: Are you and Paul dating? How long have you been together? Do you love him? Why didn't you tell me?
The last question haunted her the most.
"Baby," she ended up saying. "there's a boy out there who loves you more than you'll ever know."
Theo grunted. "It's too early to be vague."
Having eyed the empty disk holder in her mother's hand, she silently asked to see it.
Once it was in her hands and everything fell into place (she simultaneously recognized Paul's handwriting and voice), Theo could hardly breathe.
This was all happening and it wasn't fair because she should be happy but she wasn't.
She knew how Paul felt about her and it confirmed every single of her wildest and most elaborate fantasies, but there was one huge obstacle in her way that she'd grown attached to.
Mick.
Realizing that her mother was probably waiting to hear something come out of her, Theo put the disk down on the desk before her mother and began making a mad dash toward the door.
She stopped before leaving, wanting to give some explanation.
"I have to go talk to--"
"Paul, I get it." Theo's mother nodded, eyes gleaming.
As Theo raced out of the house, not thinking to comb her hair, brush her teeth, or put on regular clothes, she wanted to understand why Paul waited until now to let her know. She wanted to know why Paul kept the grenade in his back pocket only to throw it at her the second she tried to move on from the imagined something that they could have had.
She also realized how, when someone is in a big enough rush, a place that seemed so close can become too far all too fast.
TANGERINE BY LED ZEPPELIN IS SUCH A PRETTY SONG
tbh im not really all that into them but loWKEY that song is beautiful
n it reminds me of my emo children theodora and paul,,,,, true
#pauldora #forever #unrequitedlove #hallestopusinghashtags
xoxo