Hey guys! Another chapter's up. Hope you like it! Happy reading folks!
Warm wishes,
Rupanjali.
8. Mum and the Mean World Syndrome ^_^
Monday,
July 1,
3:47 pm.
Showed my certificate to Ma'am after Assembly today.
Actually, I barely managed to hand it to her.
She was standing there with the kiddies (who are very dangerous, if I might say so) and I was going up the stair case (which kind of makes me think of Hogwarts) when I made squiggled my way through to Ma'am. However, when I handed the certificate to her, she asked me,
"Why didn't you give this to the Vice Principal before the assembly?"
I died at that. I did. I was sooooo embarrassed.
Why couldn't I just have given it to the Vice Principal? Oh, wait, I remember, I reached school, when the assembly had started!
I started babbling like a fool, "Umm....umm...well...um..er..well...I was-I was late today so...."
"Oh, that's okay..", Ma'am said and smiled at me as she moved away with kiddies.
The prefect who was there at the foot of the staircase gave me a weird look and I had half a mind (not really, my mind was intact, it's just what people say) to tell her, "What the hell are you looking at?" but, then again, I remembered that a) she was a prefect and b) I seriously did not want to get in trouble with a prefect. Again.
Well, you see, I'm not really the type to get into trouble with anyone so, when I do, it becomes headlines the school for a few hours (or um, days).
Okay, I'll tell you what happened.
About two years ago (Exactly seven hundred and twenty five days ago. Oh, yes, I kept count. Calculated it now, rather), I had taken all my Lord of The Rings DVDs to school so I could give them to Ahana.
Sadly, she didn't turn up 'cause she had chosen exactly that day to be absent (It was her mum's birthday actually, but who cares why she was absent, the incident happened with moi) and therefore, (I sound like a Maths problem, now!) I couldn't give her the DVDs.
All of a sudden, during our third period (which was Geography, actually) prefects (the class eleven ones) started pouring into our class room so that they could search our bags.
Oh Holy Mother of God! Why did it have to be today?! Today of all bloody days?! WHYYYYYYYYY?! WHYYYYYY?!!
Was my immediate (not response, actually) thought.
I was nervous and I panicked. I was scared more than anything else and I was shaking like hell.
Not that hell shakes all the time or anything.
Anyhow, I saw everyone's bag being checked and I wanted to hide those DVDs so badly. But, where could I hide them? Or should I hide them?
To hide or not to hide that was the question.
While, I was busy debating this idiotic question (it seems idiotic in retrospect, y'know), one of the prefects had grabbed hold of my bag and started emptying its contents on my (not mine, actually. It belongs to the school) table.
My heart literally stopped.
I actually considered jumping out the balcony for a while but then, I realized I wouldn't be able to break through the railing and all and in the end, it wouldn't really be worth it. Besides, I would just end up looking like a silly circus clown.
Anyhow, the prefect (who was bloody short, by the way) started sassing me about bringing the DVDs and saying that they weren't allowed and all kinds of things.
What hadn't crossed my mind was that we were not supposed to bring electronic gadgets. And the DVDs weren't, obviously, electronic gadgets.
I simply told her to return them and said that I wouldn't do it again. Ever. She started doing all kinds of drama and gesticulated madly with her hands (she had no idea how silly she looked. Nor had I, at that point of time). Then, she gave me a strong shove which made me hit the wall (which was behind me). I got pissed and went up to her and tapped her on the shoulder, demanding to know why she'd shoved me.
Then, she got mad and yelled, "How dare you hit a prefect?! HUH? Do you come from the slums or what that you've got no manners? I'm telling you one thing, you won't be seeing these DVDs for a long, long time!"
Oh Bloody Hell!
I started to cry like a little baby. I must've cried enough to fill a bucket, I guess. I was flailing my arms here and there, pretty randomly, pushing everyone away (you should've seen my classmates! Can't even give a girl privacy to cry in peace! Seriously) and crying some more.
A few minutes later, my friends, Samadrita and Trina, were patting me on the head (not in a very nice and slow manner but were practically hitting the hell out of my head) and they decided to go and call on one of the prefects who, according to them, could try and get my DVDs back.
I was in no mood to listen to anyone especially someone with a prefect badge. Anyhow, the girl told me that she'd brought DVDs to school once and that day their bags were checked too. They were very awesome quality game DVDs, she added. One of the prefects who came to her class took it, showed it to Head Girl, who herself wanted the game DVDs too and later borrowed it from her. But, her DVDs were returned to her that day.
Did I believe her at that point of time? Not really.
Was I in a mood to believe her? HELL NO!!!
I think I've drifted (is that the word for it? I honestly don't know) compleeeetely off my point. That's something I do usually which generally ends up boring people and is probably the reason half my classmates ignore me/ don't bother to talk to me (aren't they both one and the same thing. But, who cares?), I guess.
So, well, long story short, I got the DVDs back by the end of the day and thankfully, my parents (who'd have killed me and sent out the invitation cards for my funeral if they got to know about it) weren't called too.
4:17 pm.
Before, anybody can say why I didn't write about what happened at school today, let me tell you, today was a complete bore, in the first place.
We had English where Ma'am probably didn't come and after that, all hell was unleashed in the form of a little thing that we all very well know as...(drumroll)
MATHS CLASS!!
Well, sorry for being opinionated here, but Maths has always given me a tough time.
Even when I was in Kindergarten, for God's sake.
Why?
Well, 'cause dad decided to teach me addition, subtraction, multiplication and division all in one go. And, obviously, since I, being no smart kid, couldn't understand what on earth he would be chewing on and on about and therefore, used to piss dad off majorly and start him off on yelling at me which would end, most of the time, with me getting a bonk on the head or a major beating (depended on how majorly mad dad was).
My Maths skills have remained kind of underdeveloped since the beginning, as I've just told you, and in my fourteen years of existence, I only had one nice and lovely Maths teacher and that was waaay back in middle school (God! I'm making it sound like it was in the Stone Ages or something.)
Anyhow, we were doing Section Formula today and it completely went over my head.
I didn't bother to ask my teacher again because then she'd be like, "What the hell were you doing when I was teaching it class, heh?"
Better safe than insulted and embarrassed in front of the whole class, I say.
After that was Bengali, where Ma'am checked some girl's excercise book who (as we came to discover) had last written something and got the excercise book checked over a year ago!
My God!
Do these people in a cave or what?!
Well, actually, she doesn't, 'cause she's supposed to be one of the most popular girls in our year.
Which is ridiculous.
Wednesday,
July 3,
10:56 pm.
God! My life is totally going down the toilet! It really is.
Well, let me tell you why.
It all started yesterday during the third period when we went downstairs (our class room is on the first floor and so is the class where I go for Physics, Chemistry and Biology) to the basketball court for our P.T. (Physical Training) class. We had all lined up according to our four houses (it's nothing like Hogwarts) and our P.T. Teacher, who's absolutely amazing in my opinion, was delayed.
She came a few minutes later and was about to start the class when Meira, from the Commerce section, interrupted the class (totally not in a YO! Wassup, dudes? kinda way) and said if Ma'am could excuse the girls who were in the debate.
I raised my hand along with Suroma, our class topper and frankly speaking, no one had expected me to raise my hand for some stupid reason.
I could tell that from the reaction on their faces.
What a bunch of idiots!
They looked like they'd just seen Shakespeare or something.
Actually, my classmates would prefer a handsome guy who's handsome in a totally out-of-this-universe kind of way. But, I said Shakespeare 'cause I'd prefer him over an out-of-this-universe handsome guy, who may or not have an appreciation for literature (not being the most probable option).
Oh, by the way, those of you who were thinking that I have a crush on Shakespeare (as do some of my classmates 'cause of my mad obsession with Shakespeare and his works), you're weird.
Seriously.
Getting back to where I was, Suroma and I followed Meira and we went to the XII - H classroom where my English teacher was teaching the twelfth graders Macbeth (which is an awesome play, by the way. But, Hamlet's even better, in my opinion, if you want to know. Which I guess you don't, anyway).
A couple of other girls, mostly from the Commerce and one from the Science - E.V.S (Environmental Studies, that is. I don't know why on earth they call it E.V.S when it should rightly be called E.S. Where in hell does the V come from? Violins? Vultures? VOLCANOES?!) section were there along with two of our other English teachers.
Among the English teachers was my eighth grade English teacher (whom, I may or not have mentioned before in some context or the other. Wait, I think I did. In the I-stitch-worse-than-a-boy context, if I'm not too mistaken).
Anyhow, my eighth grade English teacher scares me (and half the school, too) to death.
Seriously. Trust me, I'm not joking. I'm dead serious. =_= (That's me when I'm serious, okay?)
I'll give you an example to illustrate exactly how scared we were of her.
There was a door led to the Science Laboratory corridor which was quite visible from where our eighth grade class room was situated. Our class corridor was at right angles with the Lab corridor. Anyhow, if you descended from the door, there was a landing and two staircases.
One led down and the other one led up. If you climbed up the one that led upstairs, it would lead to a lobby of sorts to the left of which is my current class room corridor (the first one is my class).
By the way, there's a portrait of Shakespeare hanging on the right wall of the lobby under which there's a sofa or something.
If you go straight, the first room one your left is the Staff Room and the second room is the Computer Lab (the Senior one, as it is now known) which is AC! Yay!
Well, as is my habit, I went waaay off the topic as usual.
So, basically, my English teacher used to come to our class through that Lab Corridor door and as soon as we saw her there, there used to be a massive panic alarm given out by one of my classmates that our English teacher had arrived and that was enough to send us scurrying to our places like the rats in the Pied Piper of Hamelin or better still, like it was the Apocalypse or like sheep were invading earth or something (that's kind of like one of my nightmares 'cause if sheep invade and take over the earth, there'll be a huuuuuge possibility that we'll somehow get mutated to sheman, which is = sheep+human and then, the entire human species will become one of the dumbest on earth! Waaah!!).
We used to be petrified by her the moment she entered the classroom and the scariest part of it all was, she never used to smile!
Not one single day did she smile, God!
And if we ever talked in class (even if it was to ask for a pencil), we were dead meat.
And what made it even worse was, she hated me like hell (worse than hell, for that matter).
She used to make me stand up with my back to the class so, that people could stare at my butt the whole time they actually wanted to look at me for some reason. (Not really. Just joking) if I didn't bring a book whereas she used to make her 'fave' students stand in their places (not with their butt to the rest of the class or anything. Just plain, old stand in their place) which was bloody awful, according to me (and would be, according to any sane person, were they treated the same way).
And the kind of marks I got in English that year better remain unsaid.
I mean, I got a mark or two more than the people who absolutely suck at English and that is like a huuuuuuuge insult to me 'cause I've coming top of my class ever since last year's half yearlys.
'Cause a) I've always done remarkably well in English.
And also 'cause b) I read and fully understood the entire original Tragedies by Shakespeare by the time I was eleven without a) a guidebook b) a dictionary and c) mum's help.
And 'cause c) I had read 'The Canterbury Tales' (the original unabridged thing, mind you) when I was twelve without the help of the above.
So, yeah, I was pretty worried about whether or not I was going to the debate or not.
Well, they gave us five minutes to prepare a speech about 'My Favourite Book' and say it front of them.
We went away to the front of the Vice Principal's office to prepare our speeches. People left, right, front and centre were asking me about books (I'm the renowned bookworm, you see. Correction, correction. I'm the bloody walkie - talkie human library!) and it seemed like they hadn't read a single book since, um, Cinderella.
Some of the girls were too proud as peacocks to ask me and were busy preparing speeches themselves. Suroma and Ayesha, the Science - E.V.S or X B's topper turned to me for advice and I told Suroma to speak about The Diary of a Young Girl and Ayesha, about The Kite Runner.
One of the girls, Aaheli, gave a speech about a book that my mum would probably read. Not that there's anything wrong about that but it was the way she said it. She looked she was chewing her words a bit and forcibly enunciating them before pronouncing them.
Suroma's speech was okay and so was Ayesha's, even though she spoke utter rubbish.
Most of the girls said stuff about Vampire Diaries and Twilight, I have no idea why.
Anyhow, the teachers selected Aaheli, Suroma, Ayesha and me and let the others go back to their classroom. And that was about the point, my nerves got the better of me.
Our next topic was 'My Grandparents' and that crushed me flat. It hit me like a bloody hundred tonne truck had fallen on my chest.
What the hell was I supposed to say about that?!
For the record, I had such a wonderful relationship (So not) with my grandma (dad's mum) before she died (in an accident. I won't get into the details 'cause it was bloody awful) that I couldn't put into words. And as for her husband, I used to have a particularly nice relationship with him until he got crazed with my cousin and also, mum's ex - student, Sanjukta (who was practically like Megan from Drake and Josh) and mum's current student, Sanchaita.
So, as you can see, I couldn't really say anything wonderful and out-of-the-world about them.
I was hitting my poor head on the wall about what to say in my speech when I saw that the rest of my clas was happily playing volley ball or throw ball or something like that. They were HAPPY!!!
Actually, they looked like they were all editions of SpongeBob SquarePants or the Sun in 'Teletubbies' or Barney from 'Barney and Friends' or....I can't remember who else.
I cooked some stuff up and said it when my turn came but the worst part of it all was that I stuttered.
OH BLOODY HELL!
Why, oh, why did I have to bloody stutter?!
(Cue my saying, "Why?!' in a particularly drama-queenish manner or like there's going to be a surprise Maths test)
WHYYYYY?!!
I knew then there that I was done with the debate and what-not.
Anyhow, Aaheli's speech was once again downright hilarious 'cause she had no control over what she was saying and said that her first words when she learnt to speak were, "Grandpa and grandma."
How can someone actually say that?!
Honestly, I have no idea.
A baby speaking two syllable words when they first open their mouths?!
Who was she a baby Cicero in the making or what?!
I seriously don't understand the logic behind that (behind Aaheli's 'grandpa and grandma' thing, okay?) Cicero wouldn't too.
Long story short, Suroma and Aaheli were selected for the debate while Ayesha was selected for the extempo. And as you might've understood by now, I wasn't selected for anything except for being the bloody reserve for both!
You should've seen those three acting as proud as peacocks.
Besides, I was the final choice for the debate when the bloody hell did Aaheli come in? Oh, I know, my eighth grade English teacher chose her even though she spoke illogical shit whereas I just stuttered. Once.
Good going. Really.
I'm hoping like mad that they get sick or something and I'm able to go! Yippeee!
Though that sounds a bit mean.
I SPENT ALL SUMMER PREPARING FOR THE DEBATE AND NOW, I'M NOT SELECTED?!!
AH, REALLY AWESOME!!!
Sorry, if the yelling and shit annoyed you lot. I've just had a lot (a lot, really) of anger issues (ever since I was a kid. And nowadays I've started to repress it a LOT leading to major drama, so, yeah, I'm sorry, 'kay?) and I need those get off my chest at times.
By the way, a hilarious thing happened at the ATM today. Mum and I had gone to get cash (obviously. What'd you expect candies or something?!) from the ATM and mum, by the look of it, was completely freaking out!
I haven't seen her freak out like that since the time Julius Caesar said, "I came, I saw, I conquered."
She told me she thinks that the moment she gets out of that ATM, with the cash, some goons on bikes are going to come and steal all the cash off her.
She's totally got the Mean World Syndrome.
In case, you didn't know what it was, I'm telling you, it's something that the telly viewers or newspaper readers get after watching/reading too much violence related shit of the newspapers and the telly.
Obviously, mum has seen and read a bit too many of hit and run cases that happen near ATMs.
So, this Mean World Syndrome of hers, caused her to insert the ATM card upside down twice, drop her umbrella and mine on the floor and forget to take her ATM card altogether after getting the cash. The security guard had to run after us with the card and almost follow us home to return. Thank God, mum didn't lose it or anything!
You should've seen her inserting the ATM card in the ATM, her hands were shaking like there was an earthquake going on and she was wiping her face with her handkerchief every five minutes and it was so damn funny!
It killed me. It really did.