1 Week Later:
Thursday 7:21 AM
*Bella*
I pushed myself up out of bed, hearing Justin shuffling around downstairs.
"Hey, you're up early." Justin said from where he was leaned up against the counter with his coffee in his hands. "Still not feeling good?"
"Yeah...I've been awake for a while. I can't fall back asleep." I told him, reaching up for a loose wave that had fallen out of my bun.
"Head hurt?" He asked as I got closer, sitting his mug down.
"No." I shook my head, standing beside him and leaned my head on his shoulder. "Well a little. I think the nausea is overpowering the headache."
"I'm sorry." He whispered, grabbing my waist and pulled me into a hug while running his hands along my back. "You don't look good."
"I was trying to stay away from you so I don't get you sick." I whined a little, a small smile curling along my face as I felt his lips rest in my hair.
"I kind of figured I'd probably already have it so it doesn't even matter. Do you want me to make you some breakfast or something?"
"No thanks. I'm not quite sure I could keep anything down. I appreciate it though." I sighed, burying my face a little deeper into his chest.
"Really? That bad?"
"Mhm." I nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "I'll try some toast later."
"Sounds like someone has the flu."
"Probably...I haven't had it in forever...and when I get sick..."
"I know. You get really sick." He chuckled, kissing my forehead. "I'll pick you some stuff up after work. You'll be okay?"
"Yeah. I'm just going to take some medicine and try to sleep."
"I have to get going...but text me if you need anything, okay? And try to eat something."
"Okay." I nodded, weakly smiling at him. "I love you. Have a nice day at work."
"Just two more days." He told me, kissing my forehead again.
"Yeah, two more days." Letting go of him, I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest as I watched him finish the last of his food and coffee before setting his dishes in the sink.
Two more days of work. Six more days at home. Then he left for rehab.
"I love you. Get some rest and I really hope you feel better." He came back to me, his hand fitting the curve in my back seconds before he placed a kiss to my cheek.
"Thanks, and I love you too."
"Text me if you want anything. Really. I'll stop on my way home."
"I will. I'm gonna go back to bed." I said, stepping back and handed him his lunch. "Have a nice day."
"You too, buttercup." And after a final peck, we both split off with him out the door and me up the stairs.
I crawled right back into bed, no longer feeling wide awake.
I actually felt like I could sleep all day now.
And that's what I did. I was asleep seconds after my head hit the pillow.
________________________
*Justin*
12:53 PM
"Bella...Hey, Bella..." I whispered, running my hand along her arm to try and wake her up. She stretched, blinking her eyes before she looked at me. "Hi."
"Hey...What are you doing home? Is it that late already?"
"No, I took a half day to come home and take care of you. I know how you get when you're sick." He chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Have you eaten yet?"
"No. I've been sleeping ever since you left."
"Okay. I'll go make you some toast. I went and picked up some ginger ale and light soups too."
"That was so sweet. Thank you. You didn't have to come home."
"It's okay, I was worried. It's not like there's any real work for me anyway. Are you hungry?"
"Sure. I think I can eat something."
"Good. Then I'll be back. Don't fall back asleep."
"I'll try." She weakly smiled, shutting her eyes when I stood up to leave the room.
Once I got into the kitchen, I popped some bread into the toaster, then reached up into the cabinets and got down a glass to get her some ginger ale.
Bella never really got sick, but man when she did...she got really sick.
I remember her Dad telling this story about a cold she got right before I met her- and it was just a cold- but she ended up losing her voice and everything.
I felt bad that she was getting sick now...
I left in less than a week for rehab. For a three month program. Three months of not being home - of being in another state, and being away from her.
So much could happen while I'm gone...but I can't worry about that...We're going to be okay. She's going to visit...and we'll talk.
I've never been without her this long.
God...that was going to be hard.
The toast finishing up made me jump, but I shook it off and lightly buttered it for her and got her drink before heading back up.
"Bella, here you go. The ginger ale should help to." I said as I stepped in the room, frowning a little when I saw how colorless her face actually was.
"Thank you." She smiled, sitting herself up and took the toast while I sat the glass in my hand beside her on the table.
"You're welcome." I pecked her cheek before I went over to my dresser, pulling it open and grabbed a gray t-shirt. "Head still bothering you?"
"A little, but not really. I took some medicine before you left and I've been okay." Her voice was soft, and I turned to look at her as I took off my shirt, tossing it in the hamper. "Have you started packing yet?"
"Uh...no. I have a few days."
That's the last thing I wanted to do. That meant I was really leaving.
"Justin...you're going to be gone for three months. You have to pack for three months."
"I know, but I'll have a washer and dryer. I can wash my clothes."
"I know, I know." Light laughter filled the air, and after I changed into some shorts, I just stared at her.
She had eaten half of her toast, which made me happy.
I can't believe she hasn't eaten anything all day- but at the same time, I can.
"Want to watch a movie with me or something?" I asked, crawling on the bed beside her.
"Yeah, sure. I need to do something besides sleep." She nodded, lifting up her toast again.
"If you need to sleep, that's okay. You're sick. You should rest."
"No. Movie." She finished her toast, taking a sip of the ginger ale after sitting her plate on the side table. "Thanks for the toast."
"You're welcome. Still as nauseated?" I put my arm around her, moving my hand along her shoulder.
"No...I might be able to eat real food in a little."
"Hey, that's awesome. I'll make you something after the movie."
"Thank you." She smiled, scooting over and put her head on my chest, her arms hooking around my torso.
"You are very welcome, Princess." I kissed the top of her head, moving my hands along her back. "What movie do you want to watch?"
"Can we watch 'If I Stay?"
"Wait, so you actually know what movie you want to watch today?" I chuckled, mumbling into her hair as I squeezed her hips. "Proud of you."
"It's my favorite. I don't know if my head could take a lot of laughter today."
"It's okay. You know I'll watch whatever. Even though that movie makes my heart hurt and I know you think the guy that plays Adam Wilde is attractive."
"Oh don't worry, you're prettier." She giggled, kissing my jaw. "You probably do it better than him too."
"Probably?! Did you just say probably?"
"I know you do." She laughed, nuzzling her face into my chest. "I was teasing."
"I know. I'm glad you're feeling well enough to tease me."
"I'm always feeling well enough to tease you."
"Alright, alright. Let's get this movie rolling. Enough with the teasing when I can't have you." I whispered, then grabbed the remote and started searching for the movie.
"When I'm feeling better you can."
"Okay, you're making me flustered now." I kissed her temple a few times, pulling the covers up to her shoulders. "Let's hope you're better then before I leave."
"Yeah, let's hope...Justin?"
"Hmm?" I hummed, massaging her back.
"Have you been...have you been drinking today?"
"A little bit. I'm just...trying to have enough so I don't go crazy but I'm not drunk. I'm really trying."
"Okay." She whispered, letting out a breath I felt from my hand being on her back.
"I'm just trying to get through." I stared at the screen, watching as the opening credits came on.
"I know, baby, I know."
___________________
*Bella*
8:37 PM
"Hi buttercup. Feeling better?" Justin said as I entered the kitchen, grabbing a bowl from the cabinets.
"Now that I've showered, yeah, a little." I nodded, running my fingers through my wet hair.
"Good, because I made you something to eat." Justin walked up to me, pressing his lips against my cheek. "Just some rice. It'll be easy on your stomach."
"That actually sounds really good. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
I plopped down on the couch next to him and took a bite - and that's when I realized just how hungry I was.
"Appetite back?" Justin chuckled, watching me take another spoonful.
"Yeah, and I'm excited that I might be able to keep it down."
"Well, don't inhale it - but I'm glad you're hungry." He leaned in closer, sliding his hand on my leg.
"Me too."
But a few minutes in - after I was feeling great - I was feeling terrible.
Absolutely terrible.
"Bella...are you okay?"
But I shot up and went to the bathroom. Unfortunately I ended up getting sick and throwing up the rice.
"You really don't want to see this." I whispered to Justin, waving my hand to motion him out of the bathroom as he followed in after me.
"Isabelle, we're getting married. I am going to see you sick plenty of times in our lives as much as you will me. Let me help you."
"It's embarrassing." I sighed after I flushed the toilet and let out a deep breath.
"It's okay." He whispered, sitting beside me and ran his hand along my back. "I guess you got too excited about eating a bigger meal and your body wasn't happy about it."
"Yeah, I guess." I laughed a little, rolling my eyes at him.
"It's been a couple days now though...maybe we should take you to the doctor."
"No. No doctors. It's just the flu. I'm going to be fine."
"Bella...if you can't keep food down..."
"I'm fine. Really. Usually the third day is the worst. It's okay. Just the flu." I insisted, meeting his gaze for the first time.
"If you're not better by tomorrow, I am taking you to the doctors."
"Justin." I whined, leaning my head against the wall.
"Please, so I can have some sanity before I leave."
"Okay." I sighed, lifting up my eyes to look at him.
"Promise?" He pouted, trying not to smile as he held out his pinky.
"Promise." I smiled back, locking our pinkies together. "Now will you help me up? I want to go brush my teeth."
"Yeah, here." He stood up, taking both of my hands to help me get off the floor. "Want more ginger ale?"
"Yes please."
"Okay. Go ahead and brush your teeth and I'll get that."
"Thank you." I took a deep breath, then headed up the stairs.
After brushing my teeth, I went and picked up my phone on the side table.
I had a few texts from Julie - and there was a notification from the calendar app that just about made me want to throw up again.
I opened the app, scrolling back to last month and sat on the edge of the bed.
Don't panic. Don't - panic.
I dialed Julie's number, biting on my thumb nail while I waited for her to pick up.
"Hello?"
"Hi...I'm sorry I didn't text you back." I whispered, standing up and pacing the room while I watched the door. "I'm kind of freaking out right now."
"Why? Are you still sick?"
"Julie...I don't know if I'm sick. I...Justin's downstairs. Remember when I told you about New York and I wasn't sure if we...you know..."
"Oh no...Bella...What makes you think that though? You've had a headache too, it's not like...I don't know.
"I really don't know. I'm late. Today should be my last day. Justin leaves in a few days...I can't be."
"Does he have to go to work tomorrow?"
"Yeah, it's his last day." I said, and as I spoke I heard Justin coming up the stairs, my heart rate increasing.
Don't panic.
"Bella? Are you okay?" He asked, poking his head in the doorway.
"Yeah...I'm fine. Julie just called to check on me. I'll be down in a minute."
"Okay..." He said slowly, watching me for a minute before he disappeared again.
"Alright, so here's what I think we should do. I'll come and pick you up tomorrow after Justin leaves for work and we'll go to the drug store to find out, okay?"
"Okay, but then what do I do? What if I am? He's leaving in just a few days for three months. Three months Julie. If I'm...If I'm pregnant...I can't be. I can't...We just got engaged - he's leaving -"
"Bella, don't freak out yet. If you're sick, your body is all out of whack anyway. Maybe you're not pregnant and you're just late. We'll figure it out tomorrow. Go ahead and spend some time with Justin, okay? Don't worry yet. It'll be okay. It could be nothing."
"Okay, okay." I nodded to myself, biting my nail again. "I'll be fine. You're right. It might just be because I'm sick."
"Yeah, don't worry. I'll text you a time and I'll come pick you up. Get some rest."
"Okay, thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."
"You're welcome."
I hung up, letting out another deep breath before I headed downstairs and sat down next to Justin again.
"Hey...do you want me to stay home tomorrow? It's not like I really have anything to do there anyway...I could get some packing done."
"No, no. It's okay." I shook my head, panicking on the inside. "Go ahead and go in for your last day before you leave. I'm going to be fine. Julie's going to stop in - it's really okay, but I appreciate it. You've been really sweet."
"If you're sure." He sighed, tucking my hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. "And if you're still not feeling good by the time I'm home, we are going to the doctor's."
"Yeah, yeah. I doubt that will be necessary." I mumbled, messing with the white t-shirt I wore of his.
"It is if you're not better." He grabbed my hips, shifting so he could pull me between his legs. "You even look beautiful in my shirt when you're sick. What is this?" He kissed my cheek, a smile instantaneously curling along my lips.
"This is 'Bella is sick and she wants to be comfortable."
"I like it." He whispered, nuzzling his nose into my cheek. "I love you."
"I love you too, Justin."
"Hopefully you're feeling better before I have to leave. I want to take you out. One more night on the town before I'm gone with my lady."
"I'll be better. I want that too. That sounds nice. I'd kiss you right now if I could." I mumbled, fixing my head in the crevice of his neck.
"Technically you can."
"No." I shook my head, cringing at him. "I am not going to be the reason you get sick."
"Like I said, it's too late to be precautionary now. I've already got it - so kissing me doesn't really matter. We could basically make-out. That virus is already in me." He chuckled, sliding his hands a little further down my hips.
"Okay, mister. I don't have the energy to make-out with you right now - or I would."
"You really are a tease, you know that?"
"Mhm." I shook my head in a nod, turning myself to press my face into his neck. "Thanks for taking care of me today."
"Always, buttercup."
"I just got really tired." The words came out of my mouth in whisper, Justin's hands pressing into my back.
"You can sleep. I'll carry you upstairs later." He said into my hair, tucking it behind my ear.
"All I've been doing is sleeping though. I'm tired of sleeping."
"You need it. It's okay, baby."
"I have to finish my rice-"
"Uh no. It's okay." He stopped me, pulling me back down. "I'll put it in the fridge and you can try again tomorrow. I think your body has had enough for one day. It's okay to sleep."
"Mkay." I smiled, hugging his torso while I closed my eyes.
________________________
8:23 AM
"Hey Bella, I'm here." Julie said after I picked up the phone while I adjusted my hair in a bun.
"Okay, I'm coming. I kind of...look like a bum." I looked down at my dweatpants
"I'm sure you look fine. Just get your ass out here."
"Okay." I said, hanging up the phone and went down the stairs, my stomach lurching as I put my hand on the knob.
This was it. Maybe I'm sick- maybe I'm not.
I liked thinking of it that way...wasn't as scary.
So I opened the door, clicking it shut behind me and headed down to Julie's car.
"Feeling better?" She asked as I opened up the car door, slipping inside.
"A little. Closer to normal- enough that I think Justin won't take me to the hospital."
"How long have you been throwing up?"
"Today would be day four...but I haven't yet. That's what I don't understand...the other day it never stopped, yesterday it went away for a few hours. I didn't wake up with it today, but I'm feeling it a bit now."
"How many days late are you?"
"Today...it's 6." I whispered, looking out the window."I'm really scared Julie."
"I know...it's going to be okay. Don't worry. Not yet. You don't know."
"I feel like I do know." I bit down on my lip, digging my nails into my palms. "I'm not ready. I'm not ready to be a mom- and Justin can't be a dad. He's an alcoholic. He's finally going to get clean. What am I going to do? Surprise him a few days before he leaves and tell him I'm pregnant? Then he's not focusing on recovery- but I can't let him go for three months and not tell him and-"
"Bella, it's okay. It's all going to be fine, okay?"
"How do you know?" I was crying- really crying. "I can't have a baby. I just finished freshman year of college. He's finally going to college- he has this job- everything was finally going to get better."
"What makes you think a baby won't make things better? That's your baby...it will be your baby with Justin."
"I'm scared. I want to...I want to be a good mom for my baby one day. I just don't know...I'm not ready. I want to be a good mom for my kids."
"And what makes you think you won't be?" She asked me at a red light, looking at me and gave my hand a squeeze.
"My mom...the way she left...my dad always was on the road afterwards. It was like my big brother raised me. I never really had a mom to go to- until I had Justin's mom. I don't know what I would be doing."
"Your mom doesn't define you, Bella. You aren't going to make those same mistakes. If you are pregnant...I think you're going to be a great mom, and once Justin is clean...he'll be a good dad. You both will good parents one day...and if that day is sooner rather than later...you still will be."
"I can't...how far away are we from the drug store?"
"It's right there." She weakly smiled, patting my leg.
We pulled into a CVS, and I wiped my eyes before we exited the car, letting out a shaky breath that I had been holding in.
I followed Julie inside, and we hunted for the right aisle, my arms tightly held against my chest.
It took me a minute to soak in exactly what I was looking at...that we were here for me.
"I don't even know...which kind, and how many?" My voice was soft, my arms crossed over my
"Um, well I've always heard three...in case one is defective...but it also depends on how far along you could be...when did you and Justin...uh..."
"Like...three weeks ago. Was that day anyway..."
"Okay, I would do these." Julie went and handed me some that came in a pack, moving her hand along my arm. "Do you have to pee?"
"Um...no?"
She took my hand, pulling me through the store and then grabbed a water bottle.
"You better start drinking."
It felt like forever between the time we had checked out, gotten her car, and then back to her apartment.
It was a 32 ounce bottle she had picked up- and I definitely had to pee at this point.
So now I sat in the bathroom with Julie, waiting for the test results to pop up.
"Are you going to tell Justin tonight? If you are?" Julie asked me, causing my stomach to churn.
"I...I really don't know."
"You might feel better. You have to tell him before he leaves if you are."
"I know...I just...it's his last day of work. If I am...I might wait until tomorrow. I don't know. I really don't know." I paced, holding my hands to my forehead. "He'll have to go and...I just, I don't know."
"It's okay...I think they are ready Bella...Do you want me to look?"
"No, I got it. I should." I pushed myself to my feet, walking to the counter and looked at the tests.
All of the air left my body. I felt like I was going to pass out. I might actually pass out.
"Bella?" Julie said from the floor, standing up as I turned away from the rest of the tests.
"I'm pregnant." I whispered, a hand falling to my stomach. "It's not the flu. The tests are positive. Well - this one is."
"Oh my gosh. Really?"
"Isn't that what the double lines mean? Pregnant?" I picked up one, starring at it before looking back up at her.
"Yeah...Bella, congratulations. Really- I know it's going to be hard, but you can do it. Justin's going to be...I really think he's going to be happy."
"Is he though?" I whispered, keeping my eyes down. "I'm not so sure."
"Yes! He loves you! It's scary...I know. You can do it."
"I'm really pregnant." A smile curled along my lips as I stared at the test, leaning back on the counter. "Maybe he won't be upset...I don't know..."
"I doubt it...and now that you know, you should really try and eat something and keep it down." Julie smiled at me, leaning against the counter beside me.
"That and actually make a doctors appointment. It's been morning sickness all this time...oh my gosh if I'm still throwing up later, Justin wants to take me to the doctors."
"You seem a lot better today." She stood up, walking over to me. "Keep one of those to show him. He's really going to be happy."
"He's leaving." I sighed, looking back down at the test. "I don't know what we're going to do."
"You'll figure it out. I know you will. Maybe there's somewhere he can go around here...so he won't have to be away from you."
"Maybe...I just really have to talk to him."
"I'm glad you want to. Now you need to eat."
"I know, I'm hungry. Want to stay for lunch? I really want some Mac n' Cheese." I asked her, taking the test and put them in my drawer of the bathroom.
"Sure. Mac n' cheese sounds good."
"Alright. I might need to make two boxes. I'm starving." I told her, leading her out of the bathroom and downstairs to the kitchen.
___________________________
*Justin*
5:32 PM
"Alright guys, I'll see you soon." I said, pushing in the chair to my desk.
"Justin, can I talk to you for a minute before you head out?" Nick said, standing in the doorway of his office.
"Sure." I nodded, walking to his office and stepped inside.
"So, you're my friend," He said as he shut the door, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I just wanted you to know that if you need anything, and if Bella needs anything - just let me know."
"Thanks. I really appreciate that."
"Yeah, no problem...and there's also been some talk of replacing you...I know what they said, but I thought you deserved to know. I don't know if that's a definite thing...I just thought you should have a heads up."
"Oh...well thanks...I guess no one would really trust an alcoholic anyway, right?"
"It's not that, Justin. I've heard everyone talking...they really want to keep you. I'll keep pushing for them to...it's only because you'll be gone for three months. And if word gets out to everyone else..."
"Yeah, don't worry. I got it." I held up my hand, reaching my other one to the
"Justin-"
"Look, I have a sick fiance to get home to, okay? I leave in a few days and I won't be seeing her very much either while I'm gone. I'm going to go see her. I'll see you in three months - maybe."
"Dude, come on-" Nick stepped forward, trying to keep me from leaving.
"Don't." I walked out of his office and started for the exit, heading out to my car.
So, I probably wouldn't be coming home to a job. I guess I got lucky though, right? They were basically going to fire me when I got home - I had a matter of days before I left and Bella is sick - who I haven't really heard much from today.
I drove home quietly, the music was low, and my mind was racing.
I thought I was going to have something to come home to - a job I mean. I still had to take care of Bella - we still had to get through school.
Did I have anything to drink at home? If Bella was still sleeping - She wouldn't have to watch.
I stopped and bought liquor before I got home.
I actually started drinking it.
See? I could have been caught doing that. I could have been arrested the night Nick brought me home. Bella could have left me. I could be needing alcohol every second of the day to be normal.
I guess technically I did need that last thing.
I just sat in the car once I parked in the driveway, bringing the bottle to my lips.
I'd just finish the whole thing and leave the evidence in the car.
Yup, that's what I'll do.
"Oh Bella?" I called, shutting the door behind my as I waltzed inside.
"Hi, I'm in the kitchen."
"Hmm, in the kitchen? Doing what?" I walked in, leaning in the doorway and looked at her. She was in a little workout outfit - and damn did she look good.
"I'm making us some dinner." She looked over her shoulder, then walked over to me, standing up on her tiptoes. "How was your last day at...work?"
"It was fine."
"Just fine?"
"Yup, and you seem to be feeling much better. Look at this little thing." I mumbled, leaning down and attached my lips to her neck.
"Okay, okay. There's something I have to talk to you about."
"I don't want to talk. No more talking. Let's just make-out or maybe-
"Justin, I'm serious...Wait, have you been drinking?" She pulled away, holding me back at an arms length- and for her that wasn't a lot.
"Oh come on. Yes, I have been. Don't you know? I'm an alcoholic. Alcoholics drink."
"I thought you were just have a little bit to get through...before you left for rehab..." She backed up, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Yeah, I kind of thought screw that today." I threw my hands up, spinning around and caught the wall. "I think today was really my last day. Nick basically told me my job wouldn't be there when I came back and it was all talk that my spot would be there. You know, I thought this was going to be a good thing- going to rehab."
"Justin, what are you talking about? Come on, you know it's going to be a good thing. You need to go. I told you- I am not marrying you until-"
"Yeah, yeah, until I get clean. I know." I waved my hand, reaching back out for her.
"No! It's a big deal! Why are you just brushing it off like that?" Bella backed up, shoving my hands away.
"I'm not brushing it off. If I was fucking brushing it off I wouldn't be going-"
"Don't curse at me."
"Oh man, you're reminding me of my mother." I threw my head back, and with that she turned back around over to the stove, shaking her head at me.
"Finish your own dinner if you can manage it. I'm taking a shower and going to bed." She walked by me, shoving my hand away as I reached out.
"Fine."
"And I'm feeling much better by the way! Thanks for asking!" She called over her shoulder, her light footsteps barely heard as she headed upstairs.
I went under the sink, reaching for the bottle I kept under there and unscrewed the cap, taking a swig.
Man this stuff was strong, but after a little while...you didn't feel it anymore.
After what felt like a couple minutes, I pulled myself up the stairs and into our room where I heard Bella in the shower.
"Bella?" I said after I opened the door, peaking inside.
"Go away!"
"I'm sorry." I sighed, shutting the door behind me.
"Save it." Her figure moved under the water, her hands moving over her face before going to her hair.
"Baby...are you crying?" I put my hand on the counter, guiding myself closer to the shower.
"No. Now leave me alone."
"Y-You know I can't do that." I said, kicking off my shoes and started to unbutton my shirt.
"Don't come in here."
"Blah blah." I finished stripping, then hopped in the shower where Bella's back was to me, her arms crossed over her chest. "You know, you ass is really white."
"Seriously?! Can I please just take a shower?!"
"I'm sorry, baby..." I whispered, wrapping my arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder.
"You know, Justin...I'm getting really tired of hearing that while you're drunk- only for you to say it again in the morning." I felt her breathe, and after a moment, she tried to wriggle away from me.
"I didn't mean it. I just had a bad day. I don't want to take that out in you anymore- and I do want to go to this rehab. I w-want to get better."
"You have a funny way of showing it."
"I'm sorry, Bells." I kissed her shoulder again, squeezing her hips.
"I'm not having sex with you. You're not seducing me again while you're drunk. I came in here to take a shower." She mumbled, grabbing my hands to pry them off, but I just caught hers, slipping my fingers through.
"Not here for sex." I whispered, trailing my lips up her neck. "I'm sorry for acting like an ass."
"Yeah."
"Please don't cry," Squeezing her hips again, I kissed her cheek. "Please."
"I just want normal again. You coming home drunk isn't normal. Going to rehab isn't normal."
"Having an alcoholic fiancé isn't normal. I get it." I snapped, letting go of her for a moment.
"No! It's not!" She cried, turning around to face me. "Normal is going to college and living on campus- going out to parties and getting drunk- having sex because you're in love and happy- getting married because of love. You're not happy. The most important thing to me is your happiness and your health-"
"Wait - I might be drunk, but I'm not stupid. What are you s-saying? Because I do love you. You know our lives are the farthest thing from normal- b-but I want normal too. And I do have sex with you when I'm happy- and I love you."
"Last time you and I had sex was almost a week ago and you were drunk- you didn't even remember it." Bella said softly, covering herself up again as my hands fell.
"Bella..."
"I think I'm done with my shower now." She scooted around me, pulling her hand back as I grabbed it - and stepped out.
"Bella...p-please..." I stuck my head out, water dripping from my hair and nose.
"I really just want to go to bed."
"Fine, then go to bed!" I shut the door to the shower, watching her figure leave the bathroom after she got a towel.
Three fucking months without her and this is how we are going to spend the last couple of days together.
What if we don't even know who the other person is while I'm gone? What if she meets someone else while I'm getting clean...it's not like I could do anything about it. I'm not going to know.
But we're getting married. That won't happen.
I just have to prove to her that I can do this thing...and I'm not right now.
I felt really sick all of the sudden - and I knew that was from the alcohol.
So I let my body take care of that, and then I washed my hair- I think.
I gave Bella a few more minutes alone before I got out, brushing my teeth before I left the bathroom.
Her back was to me, her wet hair sprawled out behind her with the covers up to her shoulders.
"Bella...are you asleep?" Stepping towards the bed, I watched her for some sort of response.
No answer.
I sighed, slipping on a pair of my boxer briefs before I went to crawl in beside her, and she turned again so her back was to me.
"Bella...come on..." I whispered, resting my hand on her arm.
"No. Leave me alone."
"Buttercup, please don't cry. I'm sorry. It'll get better." My arms encircled her waist, pressing my lips against her cheek.
"You keep saying that!"
"That's because it's true, baby."
"I'm tired." Her voice broke my heart, the way she clutched her pillow to her face as she cried.
"Baby, look at me. Look at me," She turned, keeping her eyes down on my chest. "Please." Bella looked up, tears falling off her lashes. "We're gonna be fine."
"You're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."
"Yes I do." I reached up, moving my thumb along her cheek. "Don't you know, basically everything you say when you're drunk is the truth." I chuckled a little, cupping her face.
"That's not funny."
"It's true, and the alcohol is kind of waring off. I threw up a few minutes ago."
"Lovely."
"Bella," I sighed, leaning forward and pressed my lips to her head. "We're going to be fine. I'm tired too. I don't want to be this way anymore. You're getting me through this. Don't doubt that."
"It doesn't feel like it."
"I'm not going to be this way forever." I pressed my lips to her forehead, hugging her body to me. "I know you're upset- but I do want to go to rehab. I might complain about leaving- I'm just sad about leaving you for so long- and being so far away."
"Me too." She said softly, nuzzling her face into my neck. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."
"Don't be, I deserved it. I'm an ass when I'm drunk- at least from what I hear."
"Yeah, you kind of are." She chuckled a little, letting out a deep breath.
"Was there still something you needed to talk to me about?" I pulled back a little so I could look at her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"It can wait. I don't think tonight is the night to talk about it."
"Okay, that's fair." I hugged her tighter, pressing my hands into her back. "Are you really going to go to bed now?"
"I'm exhausted. I just need a nap."
"Can I stay with you?"
"Sure." She nodded with a sniff, moving her head under my chin.
"I love you. I really do, Bella." I kissed her cheek, letting my lips linger.
"I know, and I love you too."
She was out like a light within a few seconds - and I was still laying here half drunk.
I really couldn't wait to go to rehab so I could get better. She wouldn't cry anymore...not because of me.
Five days left of this battle and hurting her - hurting myself.
Those three months were going to be worth every second in away from Bella if it means we finally get to be happy.
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JJSJSJSJAJJjsjjskaksk hi.
What do you guys think??????? Some of you were RIGHHHTTTT.
Let's get 25 comments for the next chapter! I'm expecting a lot with this one....so much can happen.
I'm going to be awake for a while- so I'll try to reply! I can't wait to see what you guys have to say!!
BELLA IS PREGNANTTTTTTT