– Ariana
I was basically running by now as he was chasing after me. "Stop running!" He said. I finally stopped because I'm a small girl that is not in shape. I heard his foot steps behind me stop and I felt a presence right behind me. He lightly grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. I looked up at him and back at the ground. "Why were you running away from me?" Justin asked. I shrugged my shoulders. He stayed silent for about ten seconds. He opened his mouth to say something but I managed to cut him off.
"W-what do y-you want from m-me?" I said on the verge of tears, holding on to my journal tightly. I think he saw my eyes glistening and he knew that something was wrong. I started to panic. He leaned in for a hug but I backed away.
"I just want to be your friend. Why don't you want to be mine? I don't bite. What are you afraid of?" Justin said.
"P-people." I stuttered, barely audible, while a tear rolls down my cheek. His face softened. He didn't feel anything for me. I knew he didn't. No one did. He was about to say something but I cut him off again. "I-I need to g-go." I turned around, wiping my tear away. This time he didn't follow me.
I started to walk home. I never ditched school but today I needed to. There was way too much on my mind. School piled on top of that is going to kill me. But I couldn't go home. My alcoholic brother would probably slap me all the way back to school.
I need a place a go. In LA, there's a lot of places to go but you need money to get there. And I was not rich at all. I didn't even know why my brother and I live here. It costs way too much money to by a fucking bottle of water. Should I go to the park? No. Too much people. Then a light bulb went off in my head.
Yeah I should go there. . .
I started walking on this trail in the woods. It was not exactly the 'woods' but it was like a big area full of trees and greenery. People usually camped or hiked here.
After five minutes, I finally made it to the lake. I used to go to this lake with my mom and dad and brother, when we were the happy. A perfect family. But that ended quickly when I was fourteen.
I sat on a big rock near the lake and watched the water move and trees sway back and forth and birds chirping. I always loved nature. It reminded me of my mother. She always took my brother and I on little adventures to find things. I smiled at the thought. I frowned and shook my head. I took out my phone and it read 2:56. I technically just got out of school which meant I should start walking home. I said a small goodbye to this place I called the woods and start walking home.
I opened the door and breathe in a smell of cheap alcohol and cigarettes. I looked to the right and see my brother passed out on the couch with a beer bottle in his hand. I felt tears coming to my eyes seeing my brother like this. I ran upstairs, slammed the door, and start balling my eyes out. I had to cry. I had to let it out.
"It's your fault."
"Listen to Selena and kill yourself."
"Stop crying you baby." the voice in my head says.
"No! Stop!" I yelled, sobbing my life out. I started remembering what happened to my family and started sobbing even louder. "Why me?" I shouted in my pillow. After five minutes of crying, I calmed myself down by taking deep breaths. My dad always said it works and it really does. "Be strong for mom and dad." I kept whispering to myself and taking deep breaths. I finally stopped crying and went to my bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror.
I'm so ugly and useless. Why does Justin want to be my friend so bad?
I brung a makeup wipe to my face and started taking off my makeup and leftover tears. I threw it in the trash and take my hair out of its ponytail. It feels great taking out a ponytail after a long day. I combed through it and went to my drawer and get out my dads hoodie from his old baseball team. I used to steal this hoodie all the time. Girls are stealing their boyfriends hoodies but I'm here stealing my dads hoodie and I'm not mad about it. Oh how much I miss my father.
I hopped in my bed and turned on my phone. I went to my notes and started writing.
"I cried enough tears to see my own,
reflection in them,
And then it was clear,
I can't deny, I really miss him." I wrote.
I didn't know where this was going. Was it a poem? A song? I've always loved poetry. Reminds me of my father. But a song? I've never thought about writing a song nor sang in my life. I probably sounded horrible. I'll think about it later. I shut my phone off and closed my eyes. I needed a nap.
//////
I hope you liked chapter 2 of 'Leave Me Lonely'! I love this chapter so much. I'm really starting to love this story. There is definitely going to be a lot more chapters than 'I'm your moonlight, you're my star'. stay tuned!
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