He needed this. This moment right here, of him letting go, of him leaning on someone, of him not having to be the strong one for a change. He needed someone else to be strong for him and at this moment, with me standing there, more than seven inches shorter than him and at least thirty pounds lighter than him now that I was so pregnant that I couldn't even see my toes when I looked down, I was all he needed.
So I let it be. I let this moment be. I let myself be the strongest one of us and took his pain, his tears and his broken heart, in. I stood there while my boyfriend, and the father of my unborn child shook in my arms from the waves currently riding his whole body.
I ran my hand softly on his back while I soothed him with nonsense words that I was sure meant everything to him at that very instant. So I kept whispering in his ears, things that I knew he needed to hear, that I'm here for him and I always will be. That I feel his pain and truly empathize with him, that no matter what, he will always have me. So I said all those things, but never once have I stopped him from crying, because that I couldn't do.
Frederick has always been my rock. Stood beside me while I fell completely apart more time than I could count, still he stayed there to pick up the pieces and put them back together. So the least I could do was to catch him when he finally was weak enough to stumble. I wanted him to know that it was ok not to be the strong one all the time, because even heroes needed someone to save them every once in awhile and I was more than ok to be that saving grace for him.
So we stood there and he silently cried on my shoulder until he had let out the most of his pain and frustration, we stood there until my swollen feet couldn't handle all this weight and I had to ease off of them.
"Come on, let's go in the living room and sit." I smiled softly, holding his hand while we walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind us as to not wake up Billie who I couldn't beleive had slept through all of this. She must have been really tired. I couldn't blame her, we've had absolutely horrendous months with Mrs. Winslet dying and Billie parting ways with her long time boyfriend.
"Sit down, I'll get you something to drink. A beer perhaps." I told him, while he sat in the sofa, still holding my hand which he pulled back slightly when I made an effort to start walking towards the kitchen for something to drink.
"It's okay," he started, seemingly a little shy as he looked at our interlocked hands, averting his eyes. "Just sit with me, please. Just be here, that's all I need right now."
I simply nodded and sat down next to him and just waited silently while I gave him the time to process everything and regroup himself. I was holding his hand in my lap and every so often would smooth a finger over it to let him know that I was there. When I noticed that he was finally able to look at me, I smiled softly.
"What happened?"
He closed his eyes and let his head fall back on the couch. "The delivery was really bad. Something very wrong happened along the way and the baby was losing oxygen because the umbilical cord was tightly wrapped around his neck. We waited too long for the C-section, trying to convince Karlie. It was unfortunately too late. They tried to revive him but it didn't work." He explained, taking a long and deserving breath and letting it out after a few second.
My heart broke then. Karlie was a raging bitch but no one deserved to go through something this terrible, something this horribly painful, especially not Frederick who was so gentle, so loving and oh so wonderful.
I thought back to all these months and I realized that this man, just like Billie and I, has been through so much, if not more. And yet, he was strong enough to carry each one of us.
I looked at him then and all I wanted to do was hold him as the love that I had for him flourished even more. All I waned to do was cry for him because God knows there wasn't any amount of crying he could do to ever appease the pain left from the death of a child.
"Come here." I pulled him in and he came willingly as if all the fight was lost in him. "I'm so sorry, Frederick. So truly sorry." I whispered softly, my lips close to his ears. He nodded then, his head moving up and down while he placed his hand on my belly, the baby responding immediately by kicking up a storm to make it known that it was there.
"I need this baby to be okay, Eva." He started, pulling his head off my shoulder to make eye contact. His voice rough, his eyes begging and all I could do was to nod fiercely because that was what he needed from me and even though I couldn't possibly know what the outcome of this pregnancy would be, I was damned if I was going to say anything but what he needed to hear.
"Of course it will be. This baby is a fighter, feel how strongly it is kicking away at my poor ribs." I laughed a little which made him finally project a soft smile my way. "Nothing will happen, I promise." I guaranteed while I held his face in my hands and pulled him in for a kiss.
I was ready to promise him the moon if it meant I could catch if not even a hint of a smile on his lips while he deepened the kiss and slightly tightened his fingers on my belly. "I love you, Eva." He whispered between kisses and I absolutely believed every single word.
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Since I had sort of made a promise to my boyfriend that our unborn child would make its debut on this earth well, I had to do my part and actually be a decent mother that I thought that I could be and prepare for the arrival of my child since I hadn't done so, and for that, I had to acknowledge the fact that this baby was there to stay and if it had lasted this long inside me, chances were, it would be okay.
Beacuse of my fear of losing my baby, my brother's sudden reappearance into my life, and Mrs. Winslet's death; I hadn't truly enjoyed my pregnancy or even the fact that I was about to give birth to a tiny human, which was unfortunate because I had yet to prepare myself for its arrival and now eight very long months into my pregnancy I found myself trying to hurry and purchase the necessary stuff for my baby.
I hadn't had a baby shower and I had refused Frederick and/or Billie to even think about buying anything that was remotely baby related. I had this justified fear of having all this stuff and then later on having to return it all because well there wasn't a baby to use it...like I said, it was a justified fear if you truly thought about it.
But now that I had no other choice but to push my fear aside, I found myself being increasingly excited at the prospect of picking the many gender neutral items the baby would be needing since I had personally opted out of knowing the sex of the kid.
"What time did Charlotte said she'll get here?" Frederick asked while putting on his Jacket and wincing a little as he did so.
"She should be here any minutes." I watched him, frowning as I realized he's been complaining about his back a little more in recent weeks. "Are you okay?" I asked, walking over to him from the mirror when I had finally and successfully put on my earrings.
"Yea, it's nothing. It's just my back," he answered before placing a chaste kiss on my lips. "As comfortable as the sofa is, nothing beats sleeping on an actual bed." Now it was my time to grimace. I couldn't help but to feel guilty about the sleeping arrangements as of late.
"I know, I'm sorry," I said, hugging him from the back, or at least tried to, if my big pregnant belly wasn't in the way. Since Billie had moved in with me when she and her boyfriend had broken up, and I couldn't even think about letting anyone occupy Mrs. Winslet's room, even if it was Billie, the only other option that was left was for Billie and I to sleep in my room which basically left Frederick out in the cold, or at least sleeping on the Sofa which for me was ridiculous since he had a huge penthouse completely empty and waiting for him.
"I've been meaning to find a solution for this." I told him, placing a kiss in the middle of his back before letting him go. He sighed and turned around.
"I know, but like I said before, it wouldn't be so horrible if Billie maybe occupied Mrs. Winslet's room." He said and just like that, my mood went completely sour, I pushed out of his embrace and stepped back.
"And I told you that her room stays like that. You could just stay at your place." I spat out, walking out of the bedroom even knowing that he would follow me.
"I want to be where you and the baby are," he called after me. I looked back.
"Well then, stop complaining." He frowned.
"Seriously? That's all you can say right now? For me to stop complaining?" He asked. I stopped at the kitchen, grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and washed it before taking a bite.
"What do you want me to do then?" I asked with a mouth full of apples.
"I want you to move in with me, I want you to stop being scared and realize that I am in this for more than forever," He yelled which took me by surprised so I stopped chewing for a moment and just stared at him. His face was the definition of exasperation as he roughly ran his fingers in his soft hair, growling in frustration, then shaking his head slightly, he looked down as he laughed.
A moment passed, then another, then another. Until finally, he looked up to find me still standing where I was by the fridge, mouth a bit agape, bitten apple in hand. "I want you to marry me." He finally spoke, his voice almost nonexistent but to me, it was as loud as a lion's roar.
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Holy macaroni!!! 😂😂 can I get a what what??
Vote and comment please 😊 ☺😚😜