In hindsight, Will reflected, teasing James Carstairs, someone who'd been trained to be a warrior, skilled beyond his age since he could walk, was not one of his better ideas.
But sometimes it was just too easy.
Truthfully, he hadn't meant for it to become a running joke, but these things had a way of happening. And as many of his exploits were wont to do, it had begun at breakfast.
~•~•~•~•
Jem had been ill the previous day, but had insistently waved Will off when he offered to stay, telling him to get some rest in his own bed and that he'd be fine come morning.
Normally, this statement would have been met with rolled eyes and a kiss to shut him up, but Will was exhausted from the hunt earlier that day. He had simply gone to his own bed (which was becoming unfamiliar territory) and slept until breakfast.
Henry was there, nose buried in a newspaper, while Charlotte attempted to make conversation with him. Jessamine had already left to go downtown, and Tessa had arrived at breakfast shortly after Will. Jem was the only face missing from the breakfast table, but he'd been ill. This was a scenario they'd grown accustomed to after all this time.
Will was pleasantly surprised when Jem joined them partway through the meal, looking pale and slightly unwell, but none too worse for the wear. He said a polite 'good morning' to everyone, but shook his head when Charlotte offered a plate to him.
"Not hungry?" Charlotte asked, brow furrowing in concern.
Jem gave a reassuring smile. "No, I've not yet recovered my appetite." At Charlotte's worried look, he smiled again and laughed softly. "Don't look at me like that, Charlotte, no harm will come from skipping breakfast."
"I don't know," Will drawled, looking at Jem with eyes twinkling. "You can hardly afford to skip any more meals before you're a walking skeleton. You don't really have any weight left to lose."
Tessa elbowed his side, shooting him a look and whispering "Don't be rude!" under her breath, but Jem simply smiled.
"Not all of us are built like rugby players, William," Jem replied mildly. "And you eat enough for both of us, I think."
"What are you implying, James?" Will shifted forward in his seat, one arm now braced on the table.
"I could ask you the same question, William," the little devil deadpanned, matching Will's grin with one of his own. After one long moment of staring, they rose simultaneously and started out of the room.
"Where are you two going?" Charlotte asked, shaking her head in bemusement.
Looking back over their shoulders, both boys called, "Training room!"
~•~•~•~•
That had been the first time Will had gently teased him about how thin he'd become. Jem had held his own quite well, but his lungs eventually caught up to him and forced him to cede the round to Will.
Will could've gotten away with it if he'd left it alone after that.
But no, he had to go and open his big mouth again.
~•~•~•~•
This time, they were alone in Jem's room. Jessamine forced Tessa out to buy new dresses, Thomas was escorting them, and Charlotte had dragged Henry off to some Clave meeting at a neighboring Institute. That left them alone in the building, save for Sophie, who was discreetly avoiding their wing of the Institute to give them a bit of space.
Savoring the rare privacy, Will had placed a locking rune on the door and kissed Jem senseless. Jem had wound his arms around Will's neck, standing on tiptoe, and carefully moved backwards until the edge of the bed bumped the backs of his knees. Taking advantage of this lovely new development, Will moved forward and fell to the mattress, bracing himself up on his elbows and looking down at the beautiful boy sprawled beneath him, smiling up at him.
"By the Angel, I love you," Will murmured, pushing a stray lock of silvery hair out of his eyes.
"I love you too," Jem said in an equally hushed voice, winding his fingers through Will's hair.
Will looked Jem over once again, heart twisting with concern at the visible ribs and the sharp angles of his collarbones, hips, and shoulderblades. Despite this, he was still radiant. A muted kind of beauty, much like the moon.
The lump in his throat blocked the sincere words from rising, so Will did what he always did and made light of the situation.
"Heavens, I feel like I may crush you in this position," Will teased, kissing down the pale column of his neck. "You're so lovely, it's hard to believe you aren't a sculpture or something else delicate that I can only break, no matter how gentle I am."
"You're feeling poetic tonight," Jem sighed, head tipping back to the pillows as Will's mouth began to make speech difficult. "But I am no fragile glasswork, William, and I will not shatter if you hold me."
"Are you certain?" Will skimmed his fingers lightly down Jem's sides, coming to rest on the cool skin at his hips and relishing the little shiver this drew in response. "You seem to be bound together by moonlight and shadows."
"I don't recall inviting Samuel Coleridge into my bed," Jem replied mildly, a smirk flirting with the corner of his mouth.
Will nipped at the sensitive skin beneath his ear and smiled, speaking in a slow, deep voice. "People of humor are always in some degree people of genius."
"I suppose you think yourself terribly clever, then," Jem teased. Slender fingers wound in Will's fingers, combing along his scalp with soothing motions.
Will melted into the mattress at the comforting touch, passion set aside to savor this peace.
Jem's breath left his lungs in a short exhale, and he pushed Will's shoulder lightly. "Get off me, you big lug, I can hardly breathe."
Making himself comfortable, he sprawled out over Jem like a quilt. "Make me, or admit defeat. Face it, I have the advantage of not being built like a bird," Will teased, nuzzling into the curve of Jem's neck.
Jem mumbled under his breath fiercely, and though individual words escaped Will, his tone was crystal clear.
"I bring you to bed, and you quote poetry and then sit on me and refuse to move?"
"... It would seem so."
"You'll not be invited into my bed again any night soon if you keep this up, Herondale."
~•~•~•~•
Will supposed he had technically ceded that incident, since he let Jem up, but he was still quite pleased with the eventual outcome.
James Carstairs had always had a weakness for a pretty face, and Will's was as pretty as they came. He managed to get what he wanted, even if what he wanted meant liberal application of certain... unorthodox runes come morning to keep their little secret.
He could've stopped then. But no, he wasn't content even after bedding his beloved. No, this nonsense teasing went on for weeks.
~•~•~•~•
Tessa was sitting on the Institute's front steps, book in hand, enjoying a rare pleasant spring day when Will and Jem came down the stairs, bickering.
"Alright, but then couldn't you kill the demon with the poison of another demon?"
"Not within the confines of the riddle, no. And practically speaking, most demon poisons are not instantaneous." A wry smile. "Trust me on that one."
A flush creeped up high cheekbones, and Tessa gave up all pretense of not eavesdropping. "Of course, forgive me."
"No harm done. So the question is, if the demon cannot be killed by Angel, Nephilim, mundane, or creature of Downworld, how do you kill it?"
Will paused, contemplative. "I haven't the faintest idea," he finally admitted.
Jem appeared to be very smug about this situation.
"Well, don't just smirk at me, Carstairs, tell me! How would you kill the damned thing?"
"It would have to kill itself," Tessa piped up from her perch on the steps. Smiling brightly, Jem sat down beside her, long legs stretched down the steps below him.
"Precisely, Miss Gray," Jem said, beaming up at Will and motioning to the space beside him for Will to sit.
Will unceremoniously flopped down and elbowed Jem in the ribs lightly. "A demon isn't going to self-destruct, James, I think Henry's riddle is absolutely bonkers. Just like the riddle maker himself."
"Could you starve a demon?" Tessa wondered aloud. "Or deprive it of whatever fuels their movement?"
Will gave a wicked grin, and Jem fixed him with a glare before the words were even out of his mouth. "Not a peep out of you, Will," Jem said sternly, then turned back to Tessa. "Miss Gray, you are downright dangerous," he said with a crooked smile. "Remind me to stay in your good books."
"As if you could be anywhere else," she laughed. "I'm starting to think even our enemies like you."
Jem shrugged. "Compared to Will, a baboon seems to have excellent manners. It's hardly a testament to my character."
"Excuse me!" Will protested. "You can imply I'm no better than a baboon, but my harmless comment was censored?"
Tessa looked between the two boys, confused. "What? Will, what were you going to say?"
Jem sighed in exasperation, waving his hand vaguely in Will's direction. With a laugh, Will jostled his shoulder good-naturedly.
"My dear Tessa, your proposal of how to deal with the indestructible demon is precisely what our lovely Mr. Carstairs appears to be doing."
"What, starving?" she asked incredulously, eyes sweeping quickly over Jem's thin form. "He doesn't look starved. Thin, yes. Starved, no."
"Thank you," Jem said rather wryly. "And thank you, Mr. Herondale, for that wonderfully original comment. It isn't as if you've made similar jokes for nearly a fortnight."
"Ah, lighten up, Jem. The riddle set it up for me."
"Well, here's a little something else for you to ponder." Jem leaned forward, arms braced on his knees and eyes dancing with mirth. "I am oath-bound to protect you from bodily harm from others. I am not, however, forbidden from inflicting that harm when you're being vexing."
Tessa burst out laughing before she could catch herself. This was so unlike Jem, normally so polite and reserved in her company, that she found herself very amused.
Will only snorted a laugh. "Please. You, my friend, would sooner jump off Blackfriar's Bridge than hurt me. Besides, I think you may shatter if you lift a seraph blade." Will's tone was teasing, and he and Jem locked eyes for a long moment before Jem stood.
"William, stand up."
Will complied, and in one (very unexpected) motion, Jem scooped him up into his arms, carrying Will like he was a bride on her wedding day. Will made an undignified squawking noise, and Tessa giggled behind her hand. She rose too and followed when Jem carefully descended the steps onto the front grounds and-
Splash!
-dumped Will unceremoniously into the duck pond.
When Will came up for air, Jem stood with a smug grin on the edge of the pond and folded his arms over his chest.
"Have I made my point?"
Will spat out a mouthful of riverbank mud with a disgusted expression. "Quite eloquently, I should think."
"Excellent." Jem smiled. "Good luck prying your shoes out of that mud." As he ascended the front steps, he turned back with a wicked grin.
"Oh, and mind the duck," he called over his shoulder.
To the sound of Jem and Tessa's laughter, Will swore loudly in every language he knew how and scrambled out of the murky water.
Dripping wet and heart pounding on the stone steps of the Institute, Will ran a hand through his damp curls regretfully.
Yes, perhaps teasing James Carstairs was not one of his better ideas. No idea was a good idea if it ended in thick mud and bloodthirsty ducks.
Author's Note: Hello! I'm not dead (surprise), I'm just bad at updating. Sorry! But it's almost the end of the year, and then I should hopefully be able to write a bit more. I want to thank you guys for all the support, the reads on this story are going through the roof. I'm ecstatic every time I check them, and it's all thanks to you guys!
I'm thinking of starting some sort of contest or something for you guys as a thank-you, but I don't quite know yet. Ideas? Opinions? Thoughts on possible prizes?
Anyways, thanks for sticking with Will and Jem and I. You guys all mean the world to me, and I feel like this is our little family in the comments section. Have a wonderful life, and (as always) let me know what you think! Until next time!