Heronstairs: A Fluff Collection

A Lazy Sunday

Will felt like he could easily stay like this forever. Jem was curled up in his arms, clinging to him like a lifeline while Will lazily threaded his fingers through his parabatai's soft hair. A fire was crackling in the grate, a blanket was pulled over the two of them, and the morning frost left patterns on the glass of the windowpanes.

He looked down at Jem in his arms and smiled slightly. He'd been quiet for a very long time, it was quite possible he'd fallen asleep. And, Will reflected thoughtfully, he probably needed the rest.

Just as Will thought this, Jem sighed quietly, a shuddery, heartbreaking sound he obviously hadn't wanted Will to hear.

"Jem? Are you alright?"

Jem hesitated before he nodded. Obviously, he'd thought Will was asleep. "Just... tired."

Will shifted a little so Jem was lying in his lap, staring up at him with wide grey eyes.

"Why?"

A pause. "I... didn't sleep well." His gaze flickered away from Will... As it always did on the rare occasion he ever lied.

Will looked more carefully at Jem's face, and saw obvious traces of exhaustion there. There were dark circles under his eyes, noticeable against his pale skin. His eyes were half-closed, and it was obviously taking some effort to keep them open. His face looked thin and drawn, and overall... Jem just looked tired.

"James, have you been sleeping at all?" Will could hear the weight of worry in his own voice, demanding the truth from the elder boy.

Jem was silent for a moment, weighing his answer, then shook his head. "Not really, no."

Will was a bit irritated with this answer. "Why?" he asked, a bit more sharply then he'd intended.

Jem didn't say anything, just looked at him with a guilty fear in his eyes, suddenly looking like a child- lost and scared. Vulnerable. Will felt all traces of harshness fade away as he stroked Jem's hair again. "Why haven't you been sleeping, Jem?"

Jem gave another shaky sigh. "A mixture of feeling very unwell and an... unsettling idea."

Will kissed his forehead gently. "Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well? And we had those meetings and missions all week... you've been sick through all of that?" Jem nodded, still looking at Will with that strange guilty fear. "And what else, James? What else has been bothering you?"

"It's nothing. Forget I said anything."

"No. Tell me why you haven't been sleeping."

Jem stiffened slightly. "I don't see why that's your concern, William."

Will could not handle hearing that in addition to the stress of newly worrying about Jem. "Are you out of your mind? Of course it's my concern! Anything that hurts you, I want to know about so I may help you. It's my concern because I love you, and want you to be happy. So for the love of God, Jem, just tell me."

Jem looked taken aback, but closed his eyes and began to speak. "As of late, I've not been sleeping at all."

"How've you been on your feet?" Will asked curiously. They'd been quite busy all week...

Jem pulled the sleeve of his shirt up to reveal a thick black Mark standing out against the skin of his thin wrist- an energy rune. "Liberal applications of energy runes, and stubborn refusal to allow myself to sleep." His smile was crooked, a bitter twist to his mouth.

"But why? Especially if you've been feeling ill, you need more sleep than usual, not less. Let yourself heal and rest, James." Will ruffled the other boy's hair affectionately, but Jem just looked up at him with tired eyes.

"I didn't sleep because... it has gotten to the point where I can no longer be sure if I will have the strength to wake up again," he said in a small, shaky voice. "And I was afraid... Will, I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you." His voice was embarrassed and quiet, but Will felt his heart ache for Jem. He was afraid- afraid of not waking up again when he felt this weak, this sick, afraid to leave Will too soon, and Will wanted to hold him until the fear vanished.

He pulled Jem to his chest. "Oh, darling. No one does, and you deserve a long, happy life. Not what you've been given. You deserve so much more." Will felt Jem's shoulders shake, and wasn't sure if exhaustion was catching up or if the silver-haired boy had started to cry.

Jem wrapped his arms around Will's neck. "It's okay... I have you. You're more than I ever could've asked for." Will tried to lift Jem's face to his, but Jem buried his face in Will's neck, and Will could feel hot tears pressing into his shirt collar.

Will didn't know what to do with a crying Jem- Jem was never overly vocal about his emotions. In the extremes of any emotion, Jem fell quiet, whether that be happiness, amusement, pain, or anger.

"Jem... How can I make you feel better?" Will asked awkwardly. He felt horrible- Jem had always held him when he was crying, or close to it. When Will was upset or mad or grieving or anything, Jem was there.

But now, when Jem really needed him... he didn't know what to do. He could count the number of times he'd seen Jem this emotional on one hand.

Jem finally looked up at him, sniffing quietly. He gave a weak smile. "Stay with me, so I have enough faith to sleep," he said quietly, yawning and stretching out in Will's lap. Will leaned forward and kissed him softly, feeling his lips brush Jem's like a feather.

"Of course."

"Thank you," the elder boy murmured, already drifting off.

"No, thank you for taking care of yourself. You stubborn idiot," Will said affectionately, "no more depriving yourself of sleep. You'll make yourself sick."

Jem yawned again, a mischievous light coming into his eyes. "Then I may have to ask for your company at night more frequently." His smile was playful, and Will was relieved to see him happy again.

Will smiled and watched Jem's eyes finally fall shut. "I think you'll find I am open to that, Mr. Carstairs."

Jem merely smiled and shifted closer to Will as a response. "Wo ai ni," he murmured sleepily.

"I love you too," Will smiled, watching as Jem's breathing finally deepened and slowed- he was asleep.

Will had long lost track of the time when he heard the drawing room door open. He looked up quickly, signaling for the person to be quiet. Jem was still regaining his precious stolen sleep, and Will didn't want to wake him. He hardly cared that someone may guess the nature of their relationship if they saw them curled up together like this, he only wanted Jem to rest.

Charlotte stepped in and looked puzzled. "Will...?" she trailed off, eyes flickering to Jem where he lay contentedly in Will's lap.

"He hasn't been feeling well this past week, or sleeping," Will said, by way of explanation. "I wanted him to get some sleep."

Charlotte looked concerned. "I didn't even notice he was ill..."

"Neither did I. He didn't let anyone know, but he said he's been feeling unwell for the past week, and that he hadn't been able to sleep." Will left out the reason Jem hadn't slept- that was not his to tell.

"You mean I sent you out on all those missions and dragged you to meetings and he wasn't feeling well?" Charlotte looked slightly horrified.

Will nodded, one hand still absentmindedly running over Jem's hair. "He needs to rest before he does anything else, or he'll make himself sicker."

Charlotte nodded, still looking concerned. "Would you like me to send Sophie up with a tray? You'll need to eat sometime."

Will nodded gratefully. "Thanks, Charlotte."

"Of course. Make sure he rests enough," she said, smiling. "Oh, and Will?"

"Yes?"

"The two of you look very cute, laying together like that. But, be careful. Right now, it's fine, because Jem needs to sleep and everyone knows you make it easier for him, but..." she trailed off. "I suspect you two are something more than parabatai or friends to each other, and that's okay. You need each other. But others... won't be so accepting, especially the Clave."

Will stared, dumbfound. She knew?Charlotte knew about them? Was she going to tell the Clave? Was he going to be separated from Jem?

His disbelief must have been plain on his face, because Charlotte smiled reassuringly.

"Don't worry, I won't tell a soul. Just... take care of him. Protect each other from the world." Her voice was gentle as she started to leave the room.

"I... I will. Thank you," Will stammered, blushing.

Charlotte smiled. "I'll send a tray up," she said softly and left the room, closing the door.

Will sat in shocked silence as Jem shifted and yawned in his lap. "Please tell me I dreamed that," he mumbled, not opening his eyes. "Charlotte did not just figure it out. I'm still dreaming."

Will gently kissed Jem's forehead, grinning. "Nope. That was real."

"Then I'm going back to sleep," Jem said tiredly, tightening his arms around Will's waist.

Will laughed, and saw Jem break into a smile. "Okay. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"I love you," Jem murmured sleepily.

"I love you too."