Heronstairs: A Fluff Collection

A Bad Spell

Will hesitated on the other side of the thick door to Jem's room. No secrets existed between them, but... Will still felt uncomfortable, barging in when he heard Jem coughing. He knew Jem tried to keep his attacks as quiet an affair as possible.

'Maybe it's not that bad,' Will thought. 'Maybe he just... I don't know, just got dust in his throat, or... Something...'

Those hopeful thoughts were cast aside when a low, scraping noise came from behind the door, followed by a gasp of pain. Jem was coughing again, for the third time in the short while Will had been listening. This made up Will's mind for him- he would go in and help Jem, regardless of his parabatai's prideful resistance.

He threw the door open to see Jem crouching on his knees with one hand braced on the floor to steady himself, coughing and desperately trying to muffle the sound with his sleeve.

Will was frozen in the doorway at the sight of the scarlet staining Jem's hands. Jem's shoulders were convulsing and his chest was heaving from the simple- yet nearly impossible- attempt to control his breathing. Another bout of coughs tore through him, and he pressed a hand over his mouth to stifle the sound. Blood dripped from his fingers as he pulled them away and gasped for air, every breath seeming to cost him something.

Will snapped himself from his stupor and crossed to Jem, kneeling beside him and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Jem visibly flinched under Will's touch, but was in no condition to resist.

Will tipped his reluctant face up, trying to measure how much pain he was in by his eyes. "How bad, my love?"

Jem looked away from him. "I don't... need you to fuss... leave me be," he gasped, stifling another cough.

"Don't be an idiot, James, you're obviously not well. How bad is it?" Will asked soothingly, gently running his hand up and down Jem's spine. Jem tensed, but was far too weak to move away from Will's touch.

"William... Please... just go," Jem said, his words ending in a sudden whimper of pain as his hand flew to clutch his side.

Will felt a dull flare of anger that almost instantly cooled into concern. "And what, James? Leave you here alone when you are the sickest I've seen you in months? No, I would not abandon you. Not when you need me. Why are you pushing me away? Why will you not accept my help?" His voice was firm, and he wondered if Jem was even in a fit state to answer such a question.

"You would do the same, if the one you loved-" Jem broke off into more furious coughing, a pained moan escaping his lips. "If the one you love saw you... Like this..." he finished with a gasp. His eyes looked determinedly away, and Will could see the emotion playing in their too-pale surface- shame.

"Oh, my darling," Will murmured, laying a hand against Jem's forehead and feeling the scorching heat of his skin, "You have nothing to be ashamed of. This is not your fault."

"It is a weakness," Jem said flatly.

"It is a testament to your own strength that you are still willing to fight it. Now let me help you. I will not tell anyone else if you do not wish me to," Will said, gently stroking his hair.

Jem coughed again, chest spasming, and gave a feeble nod. Will placed a featherlight kiss on his forehead.

"Thank you. Now answer- how bad is it?" Will glanced up at the bed, wondering if Jem would be able to tolerate being moved in his state.

Jem was quiet for a moment, except for ragged breathing. "Worst in months," he finally breathed, wincing.

Will bit his lip, worried. "And you've been taking the drug? Like normal?"