Well, the music video is filmed and the date hasn't been set, but tonight is the night before the guys leave to Europe. They leave the house at 9AM and their flight leaves at noon. We woke up at seven to start getting ready. The alarm went off and we both groaned.
He took the pillow off of his head and turned off the alarm. I lifted my head off of my pillow. He rubbed my back, "Good morning, gorgeous," he said.
"Good morning, love," I said. He smiled, put his finger under my chin, and brought my face to his. Then I got an ache in my stomach. F*ck. I put my finger on his lips, "Hold on." I got up quickly and ran to the bathroom. I leaned over the toilet, kneeled on the ground. He was in the bathroom in under two seconds, "What's wrong?"
I didn't lift up my head, "I don't know. Maybe I ate something bad."
He rubbed my back, sitting at my side. Then Carolyn called out from her room, "Daddy! Daddy!"
He got up and walked to her room. After I got it all out, I flushed and stood up slowly. I turned on the shower and quickly undressed. I got in and did my regulars in the shower quickly. I turned off the shower, stepped out, and wrapped myself in a towel. I walked out to our bedroom, where Carolyn was reading her book and CC was sitting next to her, reading the book to her.
He looked up and smiled, "Feel better?"
"A bit," I said. I went to the closet and pulled out a black, strapless, knee length dress and black ankle boots. I pulled out my strapless bra and new underwear and put them on. I got into the dress and shoes and went to the bathroom. Carolyn walked into the bathroom, as did CC. CC said, "I'm getting in the shower."
"Kay, go ahead, love," I said. I kept Carolyn's attention on something else as CC undressed and got in the shower. I blow dried my hair and straightened it. Once he stepped out, he wrapped himself in a towel and went to the bedroom.
Then I thought about my hair, just plain black now, and got an idea. I looked through the bathroom cabinet and found some reddish brown hairdye. I picked Carolyn up and put her on the bed. I ran out of the bedroom and to the front bathroom, where October was getting ready.
"Hey, I need your help dying my bangs," I said, "Quickly."
"Alright," she said. We went to the kitchen and she got out tin foil, getting a big piece, tearing it off. We went back to the bathroom and she colored my bangs the reddish light brown, the tips still black. Then when the time was up, she washed it out and blow dried it. It looked fantastic. "Thank you so much, October. How much time do we have?"
"Um, a half hour," she said.
"Alright, I gotta get Carolyn ready," I said. I walked out and to the bedroom.
CC was in the bathroom, getting the rest of his things together. I walked in and said, "We have thirty minutes left, so I'm going to get Carolyn ready."
He looked at me and smiled, "I love your hair, babe. It's beautiful."
I smiled and kissed him, "Thank you, love."
"So go get her ready. If we left any later than nine, Andy would kill us both," he said.
I turned on my heels and picked Carolyn up off of the bed. I walked to her bedroom and sat her on the changing table. I grabbed a clean diaper, a Hello Kitty dress, thanks to Ash, and a pair of her pink sandals. I changed her in about ten minutes and we went down to the kitchen. I gave her a banana to eat before we left, and she started eating at it. Andy and October were by the door, Andy's suitcase at his feet. They were talking and holding hands.
Then CC was here too, with his carry-on and suitcase. I grabbed my purse and said, "Ready?"
"Yup," they said in unison. We walked out and I locked the door behind me. I told CC I would drive, so he got in the passenger seat. He said, "I will call the guys and let them know we're on the way to LAX."
He took out his phone and dialed a number. I put Carolyn in the car seat, buckled her in, and went to the driver's side. I got in and started the car. Andy said, "I'll call Jinxx, you got Jake and Ash."
"Alright, man," he said. I pulled out of the driveway and we were on our way. The traffic was busy but light. We got there at 9:30, I pulled into the parking lot, meeting Rosie, Crystal, Sammi, and the guys. I got Carolyn out of her seat and carried her and the guys got their luggage. We walked into the airport before the security gates. Everyone was saying their goodbyes. CC hugged Carolyn tight and kissed her face, "I love you, Carolyn. Be a good girl for mommy."
I held his hand and put it to where my heart is.
He looked down at his hand and up into my eyes, smiling. I said, "You have my heart, keep it safe and warm."
He smiled, then brought my hand to his, "As you've got mine, love. I will miss you and Carolyn so much."
"We will miss you too, be safe and have fun. Call when you land," I said.
Jake interrupted and said, "Let me hold Carolyn as you two say goodbye." CC handed Carolyn to Jake and wrapped his arm around my waist, bringing me close, and kissed me. It was enough to last for the next few months without my love, my weirdo. I love him, forever and a day.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you, more," I said back. He smiled and hugged me tight, as I hugged him back the same. Then they were off. Carolyn was back in my arms, crying and calling CC back. It made me tear up a bit, but this is what he does for a living, I will miss him so much. I just hope these next three months go by fast. They all waved as they past the security and disappeared as they walked to their plane gate to wait.
I turned and walked with the girls back to the parking lot. "So, let's go back to my place and watch the Labyrinth or Jurassic Park!" Sammi said.
"Yes! All kinds of f*cking dinosaurs!" Crystal said, laughing.
"Let's do it! We'll follow you, Sammi," I said.
"And I'll follow you, Alesana," Crystal said.
"Yay! Movies!" October said, clapping.
We got into the cars and found our way to the exit. We got to Jinxx and Sammi's place in no time. We made some popcorn, made ourselves some drinks, gave Carolyn some apple juice, then turned on Jurassic Park. "Sh*t," Sammi muttered after it was over.
"What?" we asked in unison.
"I promised everyone I'd be on stickam today," she said, "I forgot."
"You have lots of time," October said.
"I know," she said. She got up and went to get the laptop. Then she was back with it and started up stickam then tweeted everyone about it: The girls are on stickam, sorry about the delay everyone!
There was loads of people on, talking about the guys leaving for Europe or asking us questions or making us laugh. We spent an hour or two partying on there, then we thought we should go find something else to do to keep us busy. We watched The Labyrinth all the way through, then it ended at four.
"We should have a girly sleep over at my place, with dinner," Rosie said.
"Yes!" We said in unison. "Now?" Crystal asked.
"Sure!"
"Ha, Carolyn is asleep. Adorable," Sammi said. I smiled and picked Carolyn up carefully. We walked out to our cars; Crystal drove Sammi, Rosie drove her own car, and October and I drove to Rosie's.
We got in and I got my purse and diaper bag out of the car, and October got a still sleeping Carolyn out and inside of Ash and Rosie's condo. Rosie said, "I forgot that you guys don't have clothes. But you guys can wear mine or Ash's if you'd like."
"Thanks girl," I said, "Let's make us some dinner."
"What will we have?" Crystal asked.
"Um... how about... pizza?" Sammi requested.
"Jake will be pissed," I said with a chuckle.
Crystal smiled. Rosie laughed and picked up the phone, "Pizza it is."
She dialed and put the order in. I gave her a twenty to pay for the food and she said, "No, don't. I got it."
"No, really, take it," I waved it in her face.
"No, I got it."
I stuffed the twenty in her bra. She laughed, "Fine."
"If it's a guy delivering our pizza, you should take it out of your bra in front of him," Sammi said, laughing. October said, "Where can I put Carolyn?"
"On the couch," Rosie said. October gently put Carolyn down on the couch and sat on the counter. Then all of our phones went off at once. We checked them. "The guys landed, they're about to get on the plane to London," October said.
"No sh*t," Crystal said. We laughed and replied to them, then someone knocked at the door. Rosie grinned, "It's time."
She went to the door and opened it, and it was indeed a guy. She pulled the money out of her bra right in front of him and gave it to him. His reaction was priceless. We started laughing as he slowly handed the pizza over. She waved, smiling, and closed the door. She brought the pizza into the kitchen and set it on the counter. We got plates and drinks and sat on the floor in front of the couch. Rosie turned on the TV, to Married to Rock.
"I'm surprised we aren't on this show," Sammi said.
We laughed. I said, "I know right? We're married to real rock n roll here."
Then Carolyn woke up. I picked her up and she rubbed her eyes. Her head rested on my shoulder. I said softly, "Are you hungry, baby?"
She nodded, "Uh huh."
"Want some pizza?"
"Yeah," she said quietly. I rubbed her back and walked to the kitchen and got her a slice of pizza. I waited until it was cooled down until she could eat it. We sat back on the floor and watched TV.
We watched Game of Thrones, catching up on it, then we talked about girl stuff, shared some personal stuff, and just caught up on things like we used to. It was great. Then Carolyn fell asleep as we played with her for awhile. Then it was midnight. We borrowed clothes from Ash's closet, as well as Rosie's, and we set up the big living room for us to sleep in, covering it in blankets and pillows. We watched Jaws as a before sleep movie (not really a good idea). Then about 1:30, the house phone rang.
Rosie answered.
"Hello? ... Hey babe! .. Oh, good! So glad you made it there. ... Yeah, we're all here, a ladies night. ... No, you Purdy Pervert. ... Alright, Mr. Purdy... I love you. .. Good night, babe. Sweet dreams."
She hung up. Then my phone rang. I answered, "Hello?"
Then the most familiar voice spoke, my husband, "Hey love!"
"Hey baby!"
"We're in London!"
"Yay! I miss you."
"I miss you too. So far away from you and Carolyn."
"I know, I know. You'll have fun though! I love you, my love," I said.
"I love you more," I could hear the smile in his voice, "Good night. Sweet dreams."
"Good morning to you, love. Sweet dreams, if you're going to sleep."
"I will," he laughed, "I will skype you and Carolyn tomorrow, love."
"Okay."
"Alright, see you later," he said.
"Bye, love," I said. I hung up and so did Crystal, October, and Sammi. We watched the movie and finally fell asleep, now that we knew the guys made it. Then hit the dreams.
___
"Mommy." Tiny hands on my cheek. "Mommy." I opened my eyes, and my beautiful baby girl, Carolyn, was looking over me, smiling. I smiled, "Good morning, baby."
I sat up and sat her on my lap. Rosie and October were still asleep, but Sammi and Crystal were awake, talking. They looked to me. Sammi smiled, "Good morning, sleepyhead."
"Morning," I said.
"I changed her diaper for you. You really looked tired so I was being some help."
"Thank you so much, Sammi."
"No problem! Least I can do."
I smiled and hugged her. I hugged Crystal, "Good morning, girly!"
"Morning!" She smiled. October hit my leg, "Shhh. I'm tired."
I flicked her hand. She groaned. Sammi, Crystal, and I laughed.
"We should go and get some donuts," Rosie said.
"Oh, you're awake!" I said.
She laughed into her pillow, "Good morning!"
"Wake aunt Rosie up, Carolyn," I said.
"I am awake!" Rosie said.
"But you aren't exactly up, technically. Oh, the guys are going to skype us in a bit," I said as Carolyn walked to Rosie. Rosie rolled over and lifted her in the air. Then my phone started ringing, a skype call.
I found it on the couch and answered it. It took a minute to get the connection, but then my husband's face was on the screen, smiling. I smiled, "Good morning, love!"
"Good morning to you! What's up, hun?"
"Just woke up, hangin' with the ladies," I said.
"You just woke up? No wonder why you're so beautiful," he smiled.
I blushed, "Silly boy."
"You know it." He winked. I smiled, "So what's up?"
"Oh, you know, hanging in the dressing room before the concert starts, it's almost seven here," he said.
"Oh, that's a huge time difference," I said.
"Thank God for technology," he said.
I nodded, "So how's the UK so far?"
"Great. Like the last time we were here, rainy, cold."
"I wish I was there."
"Me too. So where's our baby girl?"
Carolyn looked up, "Daddy?"
I picked her up off of Rosie and onto my lap. She laid her head back onto my chest and waved, "Hello, daddy!"
"Hi baby! How are you?"
"I good," she said.
"That's good," he smiled. Then someone walked into their dressing room. A few actually, which I then recognized as the guys. He turned around and said, "Got your ladies here on skype."
They came to his laptop quickly, and suddenly all five of them were taking up the screen on my iPhone. Then all of the girls passed my phone around to talk to their loves. Then when the phone got back to me, he said, "Well, almost show time. Gotta go. I love you so much. I will talk to you after the show is done. Alright?"
"Alright love," I said.
"I love you," he said, smiling.
"I love you more," I said back.
"Talk to you in a bit."
"Alrighty."
Then we hung up and I turned to Rosie,who was standing up and stretching.
"What?" She asked.
"What are we doing for breakfast?"
"Well I don't feel like cooking, so I'm going out to get us some donuts."
"Ah," October said.
She grabbed a sweater and said, "I'll be back."
"Mkay," we said at once.
Then she was out the door, with one smile and wave. I looked to the counter and started laughing. I opened the door and said, "Hey, girl, you might need your keys to get there!"
She laughed and came back. She said, "I knew that. I was just testing you."
"Mhm," October muttered from the other side of the couch.
"Oh, hush," Rosie chuckled. Then she turned back to the door and said,"Now I'll be back!"
Then she was gone again. Carolyn was singing as she spun around.
"Silly girl." I laughed.
"So, now what do we do?" October asked.
"Well, now, I'm going to go get ready, then when Rosie gets back, you and I will go grocery shopping, then hang out until Chris and Andy can skype us," I said. I grabbed my clothes off of the back of the couch and walked to the bathroom. I got the same thing I had on yesterday and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I tweeted: There's nothing better than seeing @ccbvb 's amazing face when I woke up. I miss him.<3
Then I took a mirror picture to update my followers. I edited it to where it looks old and put it on instagram. Then I was getting twitter replies like crazy. Then someone knocked at the door. I opened it to October standing there. She smiled, "Hello. May I use the bathroom and get ready? Sammi took the other and Crystal is sitting out with Carolyn."
"Sorry," I slid out of the bathroom, taking Ash's t-shirt out of the bathroom and throwing it in the hamper down the hall. She closed the door once I was out. I went to the living room where Crystal was playing with Carolyn, chasing her around the couch. I sat down on the couch, looking through tweets and replying to them, as well as my texts, and then Crystal sat next to me.
"I have a question for you," Crystal said.
"Okay, shoot," I said, putting my phone in my lap.
"How hard is it to be dating a rock star?"
"Well, sometimes it's difficult because he's touring all the time, but it's awesome because Chris is one of the sweetest rock stars around so he's not an ass at all. But with friends like Sammi, you, Rosie, and October to keep me company while he's away, it's not hard at all. You get through it. Why?"
"I was just wondering, because it sometimes feels difficult to be a rockstar's girlfriend when he's on tour all the time so I was wondering how you get through the tugging at your heart and the sleepless nights."
"I don't get through those. I have many sleepless nights when he isn't here, mostly because he keeps me warm and knowing he's next to me helped me sleep, and I have reoccuring nightmares and I don't sleep. Trust me though, it goes by fast. It goes by slow on days when you feel he needs to be there most, so make the best of your days when it's us."
"Thank you so much, Alesana," she said, smiling.
"No problem! And if you ever want to come over and stay for some nights while Jake is gone, it's completely cool with me. We have lots of room. Sammi's going on tour with My Satellite for a month around the US next week, so it's me and October at the house. Rosie said last night she will stay with us too, so it's pretty much a girls sleepover for awhile," I said.
"Oh, okay! I will bring Trixy over though, if that's okay."
"That's absolutely fine! Carolyn loves Trixy."
"Alright. Thanks again, Alesana," she said. I held my arms open for a hug and she gave a hug. I said over her shoulder, "And if you need anything else or have any questions, please let me know."
"Will do," she said, smiling. Then she got up and went down the hall. I looked down at my phone, which was still on twitter. I responded to a few more tweets and then checked my texts again. None from CC, but one from Scout, one from Sandra, and the other from Craig Mabbit. I responded to them and Carolyn got up on the couch. She leaned against me and said, "Have mommy's phone?"
"You want my phone?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"What do you say?"
"Pwease."
"Good girl," I said. I handed her my phone and she started playing games. Then Sammi was next to me. She turned to me and said, "We need to have a photoshoot. You, Scout, and I. We have so many cool clothes and ideas and locations for what we could do. It will be amazing."
"Let's do it!" I said.
"Yay! Now for a day to do this."
"Well you and I have that interview on being married to Jinxx and Chris tomorrow, so how about the day after?"
"Yeah! Scouty said she's free all this week."
"So we have our day," I said.
"Yaaay!" Sammi cheered.
Then Rosie came in through the door. Sammi and I stood up and Sammi walked to Rosie and Crystal in the kitchen. I picked up Carolyn and held her upside down as I ran around the living room. She screamed and laughed. Then I lifted her up and tickled her. She giggled like crazy and I set her down. She walked to the couch again and laid down.
I went to the kitchen and squeezed by Rosie. She pinched my sides. "Ow!" I yelped. She laughed hysterically. I poked her everywhere and smacked her arm.
"Ow?" She said, chuckling.
"You're like Andy. When I lived with him, I could punch him in the gut and he wouldn't feel it."
"Because you're a naturally kind person. You don't hurt people unless it's your absolute intention."
"Hm. True."
Then we grabbed donuts and sat at the table in the dining room. Then October walked out.
"What took you so long?" Crystal asked.
"I have work in an hour," October said, "So I have to look decent."
"Oh crap. I forgot. You can just take my car and I'll have Crystle take me back to my place since Sammi has band practice," I said. I threw her my keys and she put them in her pocket. She grabbed a donut and sat on the counter and ate.
"So, you and Sammi have an interview with Revolver tomorrow?" October asked.
Sammi and I nodded. Sammi said, "For being married to rock and roll. Which you guys might do sometime soon. Especially Rosie." She winked at Rosie.
Rosie blushed. Then she said, "That reminds me. Sometime this week, we're going to go shopping for dresses and fittings and all that jazz."
"Wee!" Crystal said.
"Wedding planning stressed me out the whole time," I said. Sammi nodded in agreement.
"Why?" October asked.
"Well there's so many details and your wedding planner has to get it all right and everything has to be perfect. Nothing can go wrong. But it ends up going crazy when you do multiple things at once," Sammi said.
"I'm just now getting into everything," Rosie trailed off.
"Well if you have the greatest wedding planner of all time who could take care of everything, you have less to worry about," I pointed out, "And guys aren't always willing to help on the wedding details, but he will have to get his ass up and help. But not on everything, since some guys are clueless when it comes to weddings."
October muttered, "Crap."
"What?" We said in unison.
"I'm off to work. Bye guys!" She got up, grabbed her bag, and left. I yelled, "Carolyn?"
She looked over the couch. I said, "Want a donut?"
"Um. Yeah."
"Alright." I stood up, grabbed a plate and donut, and set it on the table. "If you wanna eat, come over here and eat then you can play on mommy's phone."
"No," Carolyn said.
"Come eat, Carolyn."
She just stared at me. I pointed to the empty chair next to me, "Come eat."
She did nothing. I walked to her and picked her up. She started fake crying and pouting as I sat her down on the chair. I slid the phone out of her hands and she pouted more. I said to her, "Eat, Carolyn."
She ate. Just like that. Rosie said, "You're a great mother."
"It takes practice," I said, "Lots."
"Mhm," Rosie said, "Hey, do you think Ash might be a good father?"
"Sure!" I said.
"Of course!" Sammi said.
"Mhm," Crystal said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Well, when we're married, we're thinking about having kids," Rosie said.
"Wow. This makes me laugh, because Jinxx and I have been married for a while now and we haven't been trying for kids," Sammi said, chuckling.
"Well I see why. They look like such hard work," Crystal said.
Then we finished breakfast. I picked up Carolyn and said, "Well, I'm off to my house then to the grocery store. Anyone wanna come?"
"Well, I got some friends coming over, so I have to head home," Crystal said.
"I'll go," Sammi said.
I looked to Rosie. She said, "I got some wedding planning stuff to do until very late tonight, so I can't babe."
"Alright," I said, "Call me later."
"Will do."
Then Sammi and I walked to her car and we were off to the grocery store. She got a parking spot close to the entrance and we went in. I grabbed a cart and sat Carolyn in it. We walked down all aisles and got what we needed. Then Sammi saw a rock magazine that had some kind of gossip on it. She laughed, "This looks interesting."
She flipped through pages as we waited in line. Then she started laughing. "What?" I asked.
"We're in this magazine," she said.
"What?!"
"Walking to breakfast last week," she said.
I laughed, "How funny."
"And here you and Chris are with Carolyn, with the caption 'Beautiful Babies of Rock and Roll'."
I smiled, "I so need to get that."
Then she turned her head a bit then chuckled.
"What now?"
"Some guy is checking us out. I need to take a picture of you with him in the background looking at your ass."
She held up her phone, but it didn't look like she was taking a picture, which was good so the guy didn't know. Then she showed it to me, and I saw it. A guy was looking straight at my ass. I laughed and got up to the lady checking our items out. I ran the credit card through when she was done and signed the receipt. Then we were out. We put the bags in the back of her car and put Carolyn in her car seat.
"Where to now?"
"You can just take me home, Carolyn is going to take her nap soon and I need to put away groceries and clean."
"Alright."
We drove back to my house and I got Carolyn out of the car and brought her inside. She walked off to her room and Sammi helped me as we put the groceries in the kitchen. After everything was put away, she gave me a hug and left.
I walked to the bedroom and put on a tribal sweater that barely hit mid thigh and went off the shoulders with my plain black tights. I walked to Carolyn's bedroom and she was yawning. I picked her up and slowly rocked her back and forth. And in about twenty long minutes, she was asleep. I put her in her crib and walked out, leaving the door open behind me.
I sighed in the complete silence of the house. Then I felt sick to my stomach. I rushed to the bathroom and puked everything up. I laid on the ground, feeling a little bit empty and weak. When I regained some strength, I stood up slowly and flushed the toilet.
"I can't keep any food down," I muttered to myself, "Ugh."
I walked to my bed and laid down. I went through my phone and saw a text from CC: Want me to call still, love?
I texted back: Please<3
Then in less than a minute, my phone was ringing. I answered, "Hey babe."
It was CC, like I had predicted, "Hello, sweet lover of mine."
"Awe, you're adorable."
"As are you, my dear. What's up?"
"Well, Carolyn's asleep and other than Carolyn, I'm the only one in this house. Laying on the bed and trying to get back some strength to do something productive."
"Why are you trying to get back some strength?"
"I threw up. And when I did, it felt like I threw up all of my insides."
"Aw. I'm sorry, love. I hope you feel better soon. I'm sad I can't be there to help."
"Don't be. You're in Europe. You're having fun. I'll be fine."
"I miss you so much."
"I miss you too. I even feel the tiny tugs at my heart sometimes. It's going to be a long three months."
"It will go by fast, love."
"I sure hope so. How much I miss you... it's unbelievable."
"Awe. I love you."
"I love you," I said back, "So what's up?"
"On the bus, off to the next show in London."
"Splendid!" I said in my fake british accent.
He laughed, "Oh how I love you."
"Oh, how I love you, mister. So are the other guys asleep?"
"Trying. The time change is difficult for the first few days."
"Understandable."
"Yup. So how's Carolyn?"
"She's good. Threw a little fit this morning, but she's good. Sleeping now."
"That's good. How are you, my love?"
"Eh," I chuckled.
"Eggs?"
I laughed, "No, I didn't say that!"
He was laughing too, "That's what I heard. So you're feeling like eggs?"
"Oh yeah, hard on the outside, but yolky in the center."
"You're silly."
"Maybe."
He chuckled. Then there was voices in the background. He groaned and said, "I better get some sleep before we get to the next venue."
"Mkay, love."
"I love you."
"I love you more. Forever and a day."
"See you later, beautiful."
"See you later, weirdo."
Then I hung up. I laid my phone on my bed and got onto my feet. After taking in a deep breath, I walked to the kitchen and started cleaning dishes and putting them away. That's what got me into the cleaning mood. I vaccumed all carpets, put rounds of clothes through the laundry, and even cleaned up some of Andy and October's room. I finished all of that in two hours. And right when I sat down to rest, Carolyn started crying. Loud. More like wailing. I ran to her bedroom and picked her up. She was still crying. I rocked her, rubbing her back, and calming her down.
Then eventually she calmed down. "Shh," I said, "Just a bad dream. It's okay. Mommy's here."
She sniffed and rubbed her eyes. I rubbed her head gently and laid her on the changing table. I changed her diaper and got her into a light blue sundress I bought her. I set her down and she walked to the living room. She got up on the couch and patted the spot next to her.
"Mommy, sit," she said.
I sat next to her and she pointed to the TV and said, "Elmo, uh, Abby."
"Wanna watch Elmo and Abby?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."
I turned on the TV and turned on Sesame Street for her. Then I caught myself falling asleep. I kept myself awake though, keeping my eyes wide open. Then she said to me, "Snacks pwease."
"Want some fruit snacks?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."
I got up and went to the kitchen. I got out a packet of fruit snacks and turned to the refrigerator. Right when I did, I saw something from the corner of my eye outside the window. I slowly backed out of the kitchen and into the living room to Carolyn and her Sesame Street.
My phone rang and I jumped a little, then answered, "Hey, Rosie."
"Hey girl!"
"What's up?"
"Writing down a list of people to invite."
"Oooh, fun."
"Yup. Loads. It should be illegal to have this much fun."
I laughed. As did she. I said, "So I talked to Chris."
"Yeah, Ashley called me before I called you."
"Good."
"I miss Ashley so much. It's driving me insane."
"You can get more insane?!"
"Harhar. Very funny, Alesana."
I chuckled, "But three months will go by fast, so you won't have this heartache forever."
"I know. Gah."
"Rosie?"
"Yeah?"
"I think I might be pregnant again."
Silence. Then she spoke, "Again?"
"I think so. I've been waking up to throw up a lot this week."
"Well that's one symptom. Did you miss your period?"
"I was supposed to start yesterday."
"You need to get a pregnancy test and find out, girl."
"I know. Will you come over whenever you can?"
"Yeah. I'll finish this list and be over there in a little bit."
"Kay. Thanks so much, Rosie."
"No problem. Least I can do."
"Love you."
"Love you too."
"See you later."
"Yup-uh-roonies."
Then I hung up and stood up. Then Carolyn ran off to her bedroom, so I shut off the TV and walked to our bedroom. I fell back onto the bed and put a pillow over my face. It smelled so much like CC. I sighed and put the pillow back by the headboard. "What to do," I said to myself.
I took out my phone and went into my personal facebook. I updated: Gah. What to do when my wierdo isn't home... I miss him so much.
Then there were a few comments in a few seconds. My brother commented: And you're on facebook? Take it to twitter. ;) Just kidding. Take your butt and Carolyn and come to Ohio for a week or two.
I commented: That sounds awesome. I shall take my butt. Maybe I shall bring the rest of me too though. My butt can't really take my daughter anywhere, haaa.
He commented: You know what I mean. But seriously. Call me soon and we can plan a trip out. Your bedroom is still here.
I commented: It is?! What a surprise.
Then I left my phone on my pillow and walked to Carolyn's bedroom. She was laying on the ground, flipping through pages of her book and singing. I chuckled. She looked up and said, "Mommy sit." She pointed to the ground in front of her. I sat down in front of her and said, "Hey girl!"
"Mommy look!" She held up her book, which Andy drew in for her. It was a giraffe with his warpaint on. I laughed, "Is that uncle Andy?"
"Yeah," she said. I laughed. Then she laughed harder.
"You're so silly," I said.
She kept laughing, "Silly silly silly!"
Then the doorbell rang. Carolyn stood up and said, "Doo-bell!"
I picked her up and walked to the front door. I looked into the peephole. Rosie. I opened the door and Rosie grinned, "Hello!"
"Hello again, dearest," I said. I gave her a hug and Rosie hugged me back then hugged Carolyn. Then Carolyn rested her head on my shoulder, her arms at some uncomfortable looking position. I fixed her arms to where they looked comfortable and gently rested my head on hers. Rosie chuckled.
I looked at her, "What?"
"You're such a good mother."
"Ha, thanks."
"No problem."
Then Carolyn lifted up her head and said, "Paci?"
"No, Carolyn, you lost yours. You can't have it."
"Buh I wan' paci!"
"No, Carolyn."
Rosie asked, "Are you trying to break her off of it?"
"Yeah. It'd be nice for when Chris came home. She whines for it all the time."
"Ah," Rosie said. Then Carolyn started pouting. Then the pouting turned into crying for the pacifier.
"No, Carolyn."
She cried.
"Looks like someone needs a nap," I said.
She kept crying. I knew whatever I said wouldn't stop it. I said, "Carolyn, they're all gone."
"Gone?" She sniffed.
"Yeah."
She yawned and pouted, then put her head on my shoulder. Rosie whispered, "Go try to get her to nap. I will put my things in your room."
"Alright," I said. I walked to Carolyn's bedroom and rocked her slowly, trying to get her to sleep. But she kept sleepily asking for her pacifier. She wouldn't sleep without it. Ugh, I thought. I give up. I picked up a paci on her dresser and gave it to her. She put it in her mouth and in about ten minutes, she was asleep. I set her in her crib and closed the door as I walked out.
I went into my bedroom, where Rosie was sitting on the bed. I stood in a running stance.
Rosie raised her eyebrows, "Oh no."
I winked and ran towards the bed and jumped, landing on my stomach. Rosie laughed and smacked my butt.
"Ow," I said into the blanket.
"We should watch scary movies tonight."
"Definitely. Oh, and guess what?"
"What?"
"Well, in a few weeks, I'm taking Carolyn with me to Ohio to see my family."
"Awesome! Can I go? I will get my own ticket! I just need to see my family, as well as yours."
"Of course you can! You didn't need to ask!"
"Yay! I miss those times where we would hang out all the time."
"We still do!"
"Yeah, but we're so busy, having our rockstar lovers and you being merch girl, having a kid. It's so difficult to have so much time like we used to in Ohio."
"Yeah, no argument there. We got that for the next few months, girl."
"Yay. So excited."
"Me too! So did you talk to Ash?"
She nodded. "Like twenty minutes before I called you."
"That's nice."
"Yeah. I will miss him so much. Did you talk to Chris?"
"Yup." I made a sad face.
"Awe. We'll share the pain of our longing hearts over the three months of their absence."
Then we hugged. She said over my shoulder, "I brought scary movies since we're going to end up watching them tonight."
"Yay! I can't wait."
Then we let go. She said, "When does October get off work?"
"She worked a whole shift, so she's there until the mall closes. Nine."
"Aw. Oh well, we'll wait for her. Then we can order chinese or something."
She slapped my stomach. I laughed, "Aren't I a fatass or what?"
"No you aren't."
I slapped my stomach, "Look at that!"
"Shut up, Alesana. You're not fat. Never was. And you have a body almost exactly just like Chris's."
"Ha. Thanks. You're beautiful."
"As are you."
"Thank you, gorgeous."
We sat there in silence. Then I said, "Ugh. Fangirls butting into our personal lives."
"Again?"
I nodded. "They asked me for a bunch of wedding pictures. I only have two up from the wedding."
She groaned. "They should be lucky they're even being told that there was a damn wedding."
"Why do they think it's so unfair? We're letting them know as much as we can about what goes on in our lives, I post on Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, with photos, videos, and so on about what we do. Shouldn't that be enough?"
"Ugh. I was tempted to slap a b*tch last night."
"There's a difference between hitting a girl and slapping a b*tch. Ha but why?"
"This girl kept tweeting to me that Ash doesn't really love me, that he can do better, that he probably has sex with other girls since he's a rockstar..and it kept going."
"Wow. What a b*tch. Don't believe any of those things."
"I don't. They obviously want to be with Ash. They think they can put me down so much to where I can disappear from the world, but I'm stonger than that. And you know it."
"Indeed I do. And it's true."
She groaned, "Now let's get to a lighter note."
"What shall that be?"
"I have no clue." She laughed.
I laughed, "Well okay. We have lots of time to do what we wish."
"Dance party for two?"
"Hell to the yeah, girl."
She put her iPhone on the dock on the dresser and turned it on to a song that we say is our theme song. "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO. We danced like complete crazy people, laughing our butts off and being weirdos. Like how it was in Ohio, before all of this.
Then we listened to more of LMFAO and some BVB, with some AA and Motley Crue. Then Carolyn woke up at five. I picked her up out of her crib and walked around her bedroom until she was wide awake. Then I set her down and she ran to Rosie.
Rosie picked her up and kissed her cheek, "Hello Carolyn!"
"Hiiii Rosieee!" Rosie said.
"Hi, darlin'!"
Carolyn giggled. Rosie set her down and Carolyn stood, swaying her hips. We laughed and danced with her. Then we went around the house, playing with her, until about six. Then Carolyn said, "I'm hungry."
"Okay, darlin'," Rosie said. She picked Carolyn up and in a rocketship motion with the sound effects, she put her in her chair. Carolyn giggled. I said to Carolyn, "Arms up."
She put her hands up and I took off her shirt to keep it clean as she ate, her little eating ritual. Then I set down a warm bowl of Mac'n'Cheese on her plate, as she asked for. She ate, using her hands instead of the fork next to the bowl. Rosie looked to me. I shrugged.
She smirked and sat on the counter. I sat next to her.
She said to me, "So what movie shall we watch first?"
"Let's do the really scary movies first then get to the more-funny-than-scary movies."
"Good idea. Something more lightmooded after the scary movies."
"Yup."
I took out my phone and brought up the camera app. I held it up and we both smiled. I looked at it and automatically had a flashback of the old times, when we would sit and bake cookies in my kitchen at midnight, my parents fast asleep, not knowing, or when we would ride our bikes around town, looking for places to hang out. Now we barely have time for that.
Rosie said, "Let's bake cookies."
"Were you reading my mind?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"I was just thinking of when we would do that back in Ohio."
It got a bit silent. Then she smiled and a tear came out her eye. I wiped it away and hugged her.
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm just so happy I have you in my life," she said into my shoulder.
"And vice versa, Rosie. Really though, you kept me alive, helping me make the right decisions, reminding me why I needed to be alive. Look at us now. I have you to thank." I hugged her tight.
She sniffed and hugged me tighter.
When we let go, I wiped her tears and smiled. She smiled back and said, "Let's make some cookies."
Carolyn was watching recordings of Sesame Street, eating slowly, singing along with them, as Rosie and I started making mix for the cookies. Then Rosie turned to me, smiling. I frowned, "Oh no."
"Oh yes," she said. And right before I could do anything, Rosie threw flour right in my face. I grabbed some and threw it at her. And before we knew it, we had a full flour fight going on. The floor was almost completely covered with flour, as well as our clothes and bodies.
Then we ran out of flour, then the oven was ready for us to put our cookies in. I put them in, closed the oven door, and slipped, falling on my butt.
Rosie was laughing hysterically. I pulled her down and she landed on her butt as well. She rolled around in it then stood up. She laughed and said, "Take my hand."
I grabbed her hand and she pulled me up. She said, "We need to document this. Where's your phone?"
"Right here," I said. I picked it up and took a funny picture of us, showing all the flour we got covered in.
Then she said, "Okay, we gotta clean this up before someone gets hurt."
I nodded and went out to the garage. I pulled out a mop, got it wet, and starting mopping the floor to get rid of the flour. Then Rosie sat on the counter to avoid slipping. Carolyn, just now being aware of her suroundings, said, "Mommy!"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"I done."
"Okay."
"Want me to get her out?" Rosie asked.
"Seeing I can't get out of this kitchen without almost slipping to my death, please. And take her to her room, if you want."
"Okay," she said. She picked up Carolyn out of her chair and walked her to her bedroom. I sat on the counter and scooted all the way to where there were no wet floors, then walked to Carolyn's bedroom as well. She said, "I need to shower, then I can get into my pajamas."
"Okay, I will do that after you."
Then she left the room and went into the bathroom in my bedroom. Then the door was closed and the shower turned on.
Then Carolyn said, "Uh, geh intuh jammies?"
"Sure, baby," I said. I picked her up, rocketship style, like she likes it, and put her on the changing table. I got her into her Little Mermaid night gown and changed her diaper, which was very full, to give out further details.
Then I picked her up and kept her in my arms. She hugged my neck, and I hugged her tight. She let go and laid her head on my shoulder. She wasn't tired, seeing it was almost nine, but I wanted to take this time to spend with my daughter. I sang "Carolyn" quietly to her, and surprisingly enough, she fell asleep. I chuckled and gently laid her in her crib.
Then I walked to my bedroom and Rosie came out in her pajamas. I whispered to her, "Carolyn is asleep."
"Oh, that early?"
"Yup. I sang "Carolyn" to her and she fell right asleep."
"Well you do have a beautiful voice."
"Thank you, love. Now I'm going to go take a shower."
"Alrighty, I will go get the cookies."
"Okay." I said as I went into the bathroom. I took a quick shower and got out, putting on my black short pajama shorts, then the BVB tank top with a red lace bandeu under. I brushed out my hair, put it up in a ponytail, then took off the remaining lines of my makeup. When I was done, I put a pair of black socks on and walked out to the kitchen, where Rosie was sitting on the counter, texting. Or tweeting, I couldn't tell.
She turned and said, "Cookies are done."
"Yay!"
"And October called while you were in the shower. She's on her way home."
"Alright."
She got off of the counter and got the cookies onto a plate. We got something to drink to keep us awake through the night and sat on the couch. She pulled out five movies and said, "These are the ones I have tonight."
I looked through them. Drag Me to Hell, The Strangers, The Exorcist, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, and The Omen. All amazing movies.
"Well this is difficult. Which do we start with?"
"Let's start with The Omen, then hit the Exorcist, then Emily Rose, then Drag Me to Hell, then the Strangers."
"Alright. Are we staying up all night?" I asked.
"Sure, if you want. I can do whatever," she said.
"I guess."
"Mkay."
Then October came in. She smiled, "Hey guys! I got you guys some things from Hot Topic I thought you and the guys will love. Woah, what's that smell?"
"We made cookies," Rosie said.
"I shall eat those. After I get into pajamas. I will be right back." Then she left the Hot Topic bag on the couch and disappeared. Then was back in two minutes in her pajamas.
She sat on the couch and took the Hot Topic bag into her lap and said, "There were some really cool shirts in stock, and I was able to get some for us ladies."
Then she took out shirts, and one had CC's face on it. On the back had the name "Coma" and below it was the Perfect Weapon logo. Then one with Ash's face and "Purdy" on the back with the same logo, and the same for Jinxx, Jake, and Andy.
Mine was a size bigger, how October knew I liked it, so I went to the bedroom, changed into a black bra and t-shirt, then came back out. They were in theirs too. I laughed, "Thank you so much, October."
"No problem!" She said, smiling.
I said, "We gotta get a picture of the three of us in these."
"Yes!"
I took out my phone from the waistband of my pajama shorts and aimed the front-facing camera to the three of us, showing our shirts and faces,then took the picture. I tweeted it: Thank you @October_Night for getting us these shirts with our boys on it. <3 Time for a girly sleepover with scary movies! I wish @ccbvb was here..
Then October said, "Let's watch some scary movies!"
"Yeah!" Rosie said.
So we cuddled up in blankets and turned on the scary movies. Surprisingly, I fell asleep at one point in the fourth movie. Then was woken up to get my daughter once, and October and Rosie were still awake. Since I was tired, I got back onto the couch, cuddled into blankets, and fell back asleep. Rosie and October spent an all nighter watching more and more movies.
I hope the next three months go by fast... I miss my love.
____________________________________________________________________________
YES! IT'S FINALLY DONE! AFTER THREE WEEKS OF WORKING ON THIS CHAPTER, IT'S FINALLY DONE. :D
Now to get working on Chapter 14. I hope you all liked it. :) <3 Thank you to all my fans for reading.