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Devon stayed true to his words.
Since the lab incident one week ago, I hadn't really seen much of Devon. It seemed like he had ceased to be my next door neighbor even though he still lived in the house adjacent to mine. He never came in my way, stayed out of my line of vision and if at all we happened to spot each other either in school or in the neighborhood, Devon would avert his eyes and walk away. If at all I saw him at his window anytime when I went over to mine, he immediately receded.
Devon no longer sat with us when Jackson and I read. Infact, Devon avoided being at home most of the times when I went over. It was like he was completely gone from my life save for those rare times when I happened to catch a glimpse of him.
I hated this change that had suddenly swept over my life. I wasn't prepared to deal with it so I felt vulnerable. I missed Devon. I missed him bad. He used to be around always and I never gave a damn and now that he isn't, I found it hard to comprehend a way to measure the depth of emptiness that was suffocating me so that I could leap out of it.
Time moved on, jumping from one day to another. It was only I who was yet stuck at the point where he had walked away...
But I didn't want Devon back in my life. We had gone our separate ways for good.
If only I had a normal past, if only I didn't carry a heavy baggage, if only I didn't have insecurities because of it, if only I were a cheerful happy girl, then I'd have wanted Devon back. Infact, I wouldn't have let him leave like this on the first place....
And then there were nights I spotted Devon getting back home in a cab in a totally drunk and sloshed state which got me extremely worried for him.....
It was that afternoon when I had just stepped out of the house to go over to my neighbors' to read with Jackson, I saw a most unexpected sight.
Devon had just stormed out of the front door of his house. The expression on his face was impossible to decipher. His features were hostile, cold and stiff....
And then I saw something else too which made my heart totally sink in despair. Jackson was dashing out of the house after Devon. The poor kid was teary-eyed and looked absolutely devastated. He tried to stop Devon from leaving by clutching his hand but the older boy roughly jerked his little brother's baby hands away. I was horrified.
Jackson, inspite of being ill-treated, pleaded Devon to not go but the latter got into his car and zoomed away. Jackson started to cry bitterly standing alone at the driveway....
I felt awful to see him in that pitiful condition. I immediately rushed over to the little boy.
"Jackson," I got down to my knees on reaching him, "hey, don't cry!" I said softly, wiping the tears off his little round face but then a fresh line of tears appeared at the brim of his small eyes.
"No, no stop, don't cry!" I hugged him dearly, gently patting his back to calm him down. Gosh I was feeling so bad for him right then.
"Jackson is a brave boy. He doesn't cry, does he?" I whispered softly.
"Jackson is a superhero! Superheroes don't cry, they save the world and make bad people cry!"
I said a couple of other things as well to cheer him up. And finally his cries were reducing into muffled sobs and ultimately he had become quiet.
"Man! You can create fat and dangerous water droplets with your eyes!" I exclaimed, looking at his face. "Do you think you can use this power to help batman fight off evil forces?"
"I guess so...." replied Jackson, mortified.
I giggled, pulling his cheeks. "You like chocolate milkshake, don't you?" I chirped.
"Yeah," he said.
"Let's go and fill our tummies with it!"
I took him to the neighborhood cafe although he was a bit reluctant. But I was determined to make him happy.
Jackson looked such a cute and adorable little boy sipping the milkshake from the glass that he held carefully with his baby hands. After taking the last gulp of the hot drink, he placed the glass back on the table and looked at me with those large round black innocent eyes of his. His baby cheeks had regained much of their colour.
I gave him a bright smile and wiped the brown patches of chocolate off the sides of his mouth.
"Thank you," he said with a silly smile.
I wanted to ask him as to what happened with Devon but didn't know whether it'd be a good thing to do. But I asked anyway with caution.
"I don't know...." Jackson trailed off. "I went to Devon to ask him if he would play with me. But he got very angry and...and pushed me away..."
"But why would he do that?" I asked, shocked.
"I don't know...It is not the first time he's been like that to me..." said Jackson quietly.
Yeah I know. How can I forget the first time when I witnessed Devon behave abrasively with his kid brother and frightening him completely? And then I'd even eavesdropped their conversation...
"Um, did I tell you anytime about the letter thing?" asked Jackson, scratching his head doubtfully.
"What letter?" I asked with curiosity.
"Devon was reading some handwritten paper when I went to him," said Jackson, placing his hands one over the other flat on the table and resting his little chin on them. With his gazes lowered, he continued, "There was an empty envelope kept beside his hand so I guess the paper is some kind of a letter that he had taken out to read. I've often see him reading that thing before too. And after reading that letter, Devon....Devon always changes....in-in a bad way...."
Jackson looked sad and uncertain. I felt uneasiness at the pit of my stomach.
"I'm sorry Jackson....I shouldn't have asked..." I apologized.
"It's okay," he said, assuring me. "I am feeling good that I shared it with you."
I smiled fondly.
So apparently Devon becomes this cold and hostile guy after reading a certain letter? Then he loses control over himself and vents out all of the anger out on an innocent five year old kid? And when he calms down, he apologizes profusely to the kid.
That's the cycle.
And sure enough, when Jackson and I left the café, we came face to face with a weary looking Devon. He took a step towards Jackson but the child hid behind me. I didn't know what to do.
"Jackson...." Devon trailed off sadly, trying to catch a glimpse of the kid.
But Jackson didn't move behind me. It was such a difficult situation. I wanted to help out but I'd no right to speak between them.
"Jackson, buddy, please listen to me!" Devon called out, sounding remorseful and even falling to his knees.
But the little boy still made no movement.
"Jackson please, please buddy!" Devon implored once more, trying to catch a view of him.
It was then that Jackson moved out from behind me, took a couple of steps towards Devon and stood in front of him. I felt a rush of relief flood my veins.
"I'm sorry for being so bad to you, buddy...I'm really sorry...." apologized Devon, sounding choked.
Jackson turned his back to Devon and stood with his front in my direction. Uh-Oh.
Devon looked totally broken with that. "Jackson, please talk to me. I-I didn't mean to hurt you..."
I saw Jackson clench his first tight and he squeezed his eyes shut. It was obvious he was finding it very difficult to cope up with the range of feelings that were overpowering him.
Damn. It was so hurtful to see such a small kid struggle with himself. A child should never be subjected to such conflicting emotions.
But then I looked at Devon and realized how depressed and anguished he looked as though he could cry any moment from now. The sea of guilt and regret tormenting his blue orbs made my heart crack....
Right then Jackson spun around at Devon and hugged him tight. I saw relief course through Devon's face in large amounts as he put his arms fondly around the little boy.
I felt as though someone had lifted a heavy ruthless boulder off me.
I stood there motionless seeing the brothers in a heartfelt embrace. It was hard to relate what I was watching now to what I saw from the window some time back.
Guess siblings were like that.
"So tell me, how do I make it up to you?" Devon asked Jackson when they parted. "I will do everything you tell me to do," he added meaningfully.
"I, um, I wanted to ask you earlier if you could take me to the beach fair today..." the little boy asked doubtfully.
"Ofcourse! That's a great idea. Let's go!" Devon said, getting to his feet.
"Alright then," I gave a smile to the kid, feeling like a third wheel. The brother had completely forgotten about my presence. "Have fun at the beach, Jackson. I'll see you later."
I turned to leave---
"Eleanor," Jackson ran up to me. "Will you come with us? I really want you to!"
"What?Me?" That was my immediate reaction.
"Don't ask her Jackson if you don't want to hear a No," said Devon quietly without looking at me. "We can do without her anyway."
That made my breaths hitch in pain but I kept silent.
"But why will she say a No?" Jackson asked him. Looking at me the kid asked, "Will you say a No, Eleanor? I really want Devon and you to take me to the beach fair...."
"I'm sorry, Jackson. I'll come with you some other day," I told the kid softly.
"Don't force her, buddy," Devon called out to him. "Both of us will have lots of fun. We don't need her. Come now!"
"But--"
"She wouldn't come with us, Jackson!" Devon interrupted the kid. "She never did. She won't. Let's leave."
I was about to open my mouth to agree to go the fair with them...
"Okay," Jackson nodded to Devon. "I won't force Eleanor if she doesn't want to come with us." Looking up at me, the kid said, "You're not coming with us because you must be having an important work. We'll go some other day together!"
I was tempted to tell the kid I would come to the fair but instead I gave him a smile and said, "Y-Yeah, right... some other time..Enjoy the fair!"
Jackson gave me a wide grin.
I saw the kid climbing on the passenger seat of the car next to Devon. The kid waved at me and the next thing I saw the car was zooming away...
I was stood there until the car had disappeared out of sight.
Not even once had Devon tried to look at me.
***
It was around dusk Devon and Jackson had returned from the beach fair. Both the boys were guffawing and in high spirits when they got out of the car. They really seemed to have had a gala time at the fair. I was happy that Jackson was in such a jolly mood unlike how he was this afternoon.
Devon didn't walk inside the house with Jackson. Instead Devon watched the little boy with great fondness as he sprinted into the house.
And then I saw the most unexpected thing after Jackson had disappeared inside the house.
I saw a lone heavy tear roll down Devon's cheek but he immediately rubbed his eyes dry with his arm but he was shaking...
I was shocked.
It was so obvious he was crying because he was finding it difficult to forget how had been with Jackson in the afternoon...
There was a lump in my chest seeing the pain and guilt flash once again in his eyes....
Devon swiftly got into the car, closed the door shut with a bang and drove away....
***
After dinner that night, I was sitting by the window of my room when I saw Mr. Parker speaking anxiously to someone over the phone outside his house. He looked pale with stress and worry and I got hit by a feeling that it had something to do with Devon.
Even before I could comprehend anything else, I was already rushing down the stairs and then outside my house at Mr. Parker. I was right on time 'cause he was just about to get inside his car.
"Mr. Parker, what happened?" I asked, more urgently than I thought I would.
"Devon has been arrested some time back. I'm going to the cop station," he blurted out in a state of tension and then got into his car and zoomed out of sight.
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