Jason
I pull the mail out the mail box, hoping that there are no bills. I haven't told Mel, but my father wants me to take responsibilities of my own utilities. Before we left Chicago a few days ago, he had told me that I need to get a job and take care of myself. He still agreed to take care of the rent and everything else, but he said that I should really consider getting a job. The simple fact is that Leslie is having my baby and Mel is having a baby that I'm volunteering myself to raise as my own. I hate calling my father, telling him that I need money for whatever. I think I'm getting too grown to rely on my parents to take care of me. Hell, I have a wife and a baby that's about to be born soon.
Our first day in Atlanta was horrible, but it's been days since we argued over Kayla and how badly I treated Ashlee. I've been looking for a job almost on a constant basis. I'm just trying to make sure Mel knows that I got her. I can't do everything for her that Cameron did for her, but I will always make sure she's good. As long as I have air in my lungs, this girl will never have to worry about anything.
In the last few days, I've been feeling less than a man that I'm not able to provide for her. I keep thinking about how Cameron bought her a brand new fucking car, when all that I gave her were a couple thousands to get a used car. I try not to let it bother me, but it does. I'm just scared that she'll go run and ask Cameron for something, because she thinks that I can't handle my family.
I walk upstairs, flipping through the mail. A light bill and the car insurance bill. I pull out my phone and send my dad a quick text to let him know that I have to pay these two bills. This is another reason why I have to get a job. I have to check in with my father where every damn dime is going. It's actually getting tiresome and frustrating.
When I had to buy us a new mattress a few days ago, I lied to my father and told him that we had bed bugs and had to get one. Of course, I don't think he bought that shit, but he didn't say anything. I felt like I had to buy a new mattress, because it's what Mel wanted. The look in her eyes after Kayla told her that I was dicking her down, torn me up inside. She doubts me, and I need my baby to know that we're going to make us work. So, if she wanted a new mattress, she would get her new mattress.
I walk into the front door, eyeing Mel sleeping on the couch. I've been gone for most of the day, because I had to take care of registration for my classes and speak to some people at the school. I also went on two job interviews. I set the mail down on the television stand. I walk over to the couch and lift her feet up. I take a seat and put her feet on my legs, looking at her face. Her hand is laying on the side of her stomach that's bulged a little. I guess that's where the baby is balled up at. I watch her stomach move a little bit and Mel taps her stomach a little. I smile at how cute this sight is. I vow to give this girl everything inside me, or I'm going to die trying.
Mel moves her feet a little. Before she can open her eyes, I lean over her and kiss her lips. She smiles a little at the touch of my lips against hers.
"How was your interview?" She asks me in a groggy voice.
"Good." I kiss her again on the lips.
Mel giggles and tries to push me away from her. "Baby, I'm hot."
"I see that." I tease her.
Mel lays on her back, opening her legs, so that I can have easy access to kissing her. I make sure not to lay on her, because of her stomach. She sits up a little bit and meets me halfway for a kiss. I continue to give her small pecks.
I can't believe that she actually doubt that we will make it. Doesn't she know that I'm stupid in love with her? Mel glances at me from underneath her eyelashes with a teasing smile on her face. She pulls my cap off my head and puts it on her head, smiling widely at me.
"I hope that you didn't wear this. This is so unprofessional."
"I didn't." I kiss her on the lips quickly, before getting up from between her legs. "You cooked?"
"No. I'm sorry. I've been sleep for most of the day."
I turn around and look at her as I head to the kitchen. Mel is getting off the couch, holding onto her stomach. I clear my throat as I walk into the kitchen. I had hoped that she maybe cooked something. She knew that I would be gone for most of the day. I open the refrigerator, squinting my eyes as I look inside. Mel puts her arms around me from behind.
"I'm sorry, baby. You want to order something?"
No. I think to myself. We can't afford to order food. I would have to listen to my father lecture me about how I take advantage of the fact that him and my mother are taking care of me. I shake my head no and open up the freezer. I pull out some hamburger patties and toss them to the side on the counter. I turn around in Mel's arms, and she is looking up at me with apologetic eyes. I force a smile and kiss her on the forehead.
"I'll cook something. Rest." I tell her.
Mel doesn't budge as she continues to eye me. "Are you mad at me?"
Just a little annoyed that I could be gone all day and all she's been doing is sleeping. I don't want Mel to get a job, or have to worry about the shit that I agree to carry on my shoulders. I do expect for her to keep our place clean and cook me meals. That's it. Looking into her eyes, I can't explain my true feelings to her. I don't want to hurt her feelings about how I feel about the subject. She'll probably feel like I'm attacking her and it will start an argument that we don't need.
"We're good." I lie to her. "Lay down and put a movie on. I'll be there in a minute to lay with you."
Mel loosens her arms around me and gives me a tight smile. She finally releases me and walks over to the ground beef and turn the faucet on. I watch her put the meat underneath the faucet.
"I'll cook. You relax. I dropped the ball. I'm sorry." She leans against the sink, focusing on me.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, go."
She smiles at me, pushing me from in front of the refrigerator. "Baby, do you want me to cut up some potatoes to go with the burgers?"
"I'll take care of the potatoes."
She hands me three potatoes out of the refrigerator. I set the potatoes on the counter, and I move around the kitchen, grabbing the cutting board and a sharp knife. Mel stands in front of the sink, washing her hands. I stand behind her to wash my hands. Mel peeks up at me, and whatever anger or annoying feelings I felt vanish into thin air.
*****
My phone ringing instantly wakes me up. I glance at the screen, wondering who would be calling me late at night. Mel shifts in her sleep a little and moves closer to me, pressing her lips against my chest.
I clear my throat, before answering the call. "Hey, Ker. What's up?"
"Do you think that Terrance would propose to me just to cheat on me?" She sounds like she's been crying.
Kerri has been in Florida for a couple days already. She's been a nervous wreck about doing the long distance thing with Terrance. I don't know all what's going on with Terrance, but I know that he has deep feelings for her. I also know that he wouldn't waste his time asking her to marry him, if he weren't ready to settle down with her.
I gently push Mel off me and climb out the bed. I don't want to wake her up, because she needs her sleep. I figure the more she sleep at night, the less naps she will take throughout the day. I understand that she's five months pregnant and each day that she carries the baby, it's taking energy away from her. I just don't want my baby to get too lazy.
"Why you say that?" I still sound sleepy.
I walk through the hall, heading for the front door. I just want a little fresh air as I talk to her. I have a feeling that this won't be a two minutes conversation. Kerri might come off as secure, but Terrance is her weakness.
She sobs a little. "He's not answering his phone. I called him twice. I haven't heard from, since two this afternoon. I think that he's doing something, Jason."
I check to make sure that I have my keys, before walking out the front door. I take the stairs to the first floor, thinking about her words. I haven't heard from Terrance much. We talked briefly a few days ago, when he told me that he's been good. I'm the first person to know if he's doing anything that he shouldn't do.
"He's faithful." I take a seat on the bench outside.
"How do you know? You know that Terrance can't go a long time without getting some."
"Because he asked you to marry him, Ker. He went and bought you a ring and drove all the way to Atlanta to ask you to marry him. That's how I know. And I saw that at the engagement party that he wasn't even looking at other girls. That dude wouldn't let you out of his sight for more than a few minutes. Terrance ain't the same."
She slows down on her sobbing and I can hear her sniffling a little. "I just feel like I should be in Chicago to keep him acting right. I shouldn't be here."
"If it's meant, you can be anywhere."
"You sound like my momma. If you believed that, then why did you insist on having Mel with you in Atlanta?"
I smile at her words. "I can't function without her. Come on, Ker bear, we know that I'm a different person without her."
She laughs a little. "You're an idiot without her. How are you and her doing?"
"Kayla told her that you and I were fucking."
Kerri gasps and then breaks into a fit of laughter. I shake my head at her reaction.
"What Mel say?"
"Mel honestly thought that I might have smashed."
"No. I don't believe it."
I nod my head, though she can't see me. "It's fine, because we talked about it. I think she knows that Kayla was just talking shit. She knows that you're not my type." I break into a smile, because I know my words are going to ruffle some feathers with her.
"What is that supposed to mean? Boy, you can't have me."
"You can't have me."
She smacks her lips at my words, and I laugh a little. I stop laughing the moment that I see Ashlee getting out of a car. She has her uniform on as she closes the passenger's door and waves to whoever is in the driver's side. She walks toward the building and her eyes meet mine.
"Kerri, baby, I have to go."
"Yeah, I have to go to sleep anyway. I love you, ugly."
"Your momma."
"Your daddy."
I smile. "Bye. I'll see what's going on with Terrance. Give me a few days, because I have some things going on here."
"Alright. Kisses."
She ends the call just as Ashlee walks up to the door. I hurry and open the door for her. She doesn't look at me or thank me as she walks right pass me and heads for the elevator. I follow behind her. I've been meaning to talk to her, since the day that I ignored her.
"How are you?" I try to make small talk with her.
She doesn't even look at me as we wait for the elevator.
"Um . . . I apologize about . . . " I try to think of my words.
"Did you cheat on me?" She finally looks at me. "Did you sleep with Kayla while you and I were together?"
I swallow hard. That damn Kayla will not rest, until she makes every fucking female I ever came in contact with hate me. I look into her angry filled eyes, wanting to deny it all. I just can't bring myself to do it. She deserves the truth from me at the very least.
"Yeah." I say quietly.
She bites her lip and looks away from me, shaking her head. The elevator door finally opens and she gets on. I get on with her, inhaling a deep breath. I hate that I've hurt her.
"I'm sorry."
"You . . . you are. . ." She struggles to find words to describe me through her tears. "You're a horrible person. When we met, you had told me that you went through all these things. I tried to be there for you, but you played me."
"No, I didn't."
"What do you call it? Then, you told me that you and her weren't even together, but you came back home with her! What type of game are you playing? Are you enjoying yourself?" She stomps off the elevator on the fourth floor, and I follow behind her.
"We weren't together, but some things happened and we decided to work on our marriage."
She flings around with her hand on her hip and her eyes showing resent towards me. "You are a coward, Jason. You walk around acting as though you are the victim, when you are the cause of everyone being in pain. You slept with a girl that I didn't like and lied to my face!"
"I did lie to you, but I do care about your feelings."
She flings her purse at me in an angry rage, and I cover my face. I didn't know that Ashlee had it in her to be one of these girls. I take a step back from her in surprised. I must have really pissed her off.
"I cared about you! You have never cared about me! You slept with the one person who I hate more than anything! Then, you and your wife are living right across from me, pretending to be so fucking happy!" She spats out at me, moving closer to me and hitting me several more times with her purse.
I duck my head down, trying to block her hits. I know that she has every right to feel this way, but damn. Finally, I put my arms around her, trying to restrain her. This girl is violent as fuck!
"Let me go!" She screams at me, trying to get out of my hold.
I hold her against my chest, until she breaks down and cry into my chest. Ashlee buries her face in my chest, letting out all her anger and tears. My hold around her goes from restraining her to comforting her. I close my eyes, wishing that I've never involved her in my life.
"I'm sorry."
I glance at my apartment door, knowing that I have to get in the house, before my wife wakes up. I just don't want to leave Ash out here in the hallway crying over the things that I did. I make small circles on her back with my hand, hating myself a little more each second that I hold her. I shouldn't be holding her. I shouldn't be comforting her. If Mel catches me, I'm done for.
"Can we go in your house, Ash?" This is literally my best idea.
Ash looks up at me and my heart breaks at seeing her wet tears on her cheeks. She backs up from me and takes my hand, leading me to her house. I follow her and sneak a couple looks at my own door. I'm just going to stay with her, until I think she is okay. Then, I'm going to take my ass home. I just think that I owe her that much.
Ashlee opens the door and walks in first. I take one last look at my door, before following behind her.