Struggles of a Fangirl

By SincerelyPink

717K 19.9K 7K

Being a fan girl is hard and Kacey Miller is all types of awkward, naturally and socially. But she's also the... More

Struggles of a Fangirl
The Struggle
Cast Call Closed
Struggle #1
Struggle #2
Struggle #3
Struggle #4
Struggle #5
Struggle #6
Struggle #7
Struggle #8
Struggle #9
Struggle #10
Struggle #11
Struggle #12
Struggle #14
Struggle #15
Struggle #16
Struggle #17
Struggle #18
Struggle #19
Struggle #20
Struggle #21
Struggle #22
Struggle #23
Struggle #24
Struggle #25
Struggle #26
Struggle #27
Struggle #28
Struggle #29
Struggle #30
Struggle #31
Struggle #32
Struggle #33
Struggle #34
Struggle #35
Struggle #36
Struggle #37
Struggle #38
Struggle #39
Struggle #40
Struggle #41
Struggle #42
Struggle #43
Struggle #44
Struggle #45
Struggle #46
Struggle #47
Struggle #48
Struggle #49
Struggle #50
Struggle #51
Struggle #52
Struggle #53
Struggle #54

Struggle #13

12.5K 330 85
By SincerelyPink

Can I just say that hanging with Mindless Behavior is way too much fun? Roc and Ray always keep me laughing while Prince points out all the exciting tourist attractions in LA. And for everyone who thinks Prod is laid back and chill is dead wrong. This boy has me in tears, he has a slick mouth and he keeps his jokes about the boy's low key so only I can hear. And don't even get me started on how much Ray and Prod can eat. I got full off a subway sandwich while these two continuously stop at candy stores and snack places for food. It amazes me how they have perfectly formed abs yet they eat so much junk.

We spent the majority of Saturday at Disneyland, which I found extra exciting since I've never been there. The girls got matching pairs of sparkly Minnie Mouse ears with the classic red bow. All except London who just had to be the odd one out and buy the ones with the pink bow. I made a huge effort to stay away from London though, I was having too much fun exploring Disney world for the first time to even acknowledge her.

Then the rest of the week was filled with fun inside and outside of the hotel. My first time being outside of Boston and I'm acting like such a tourist. I took so many pictures that I ran out of space on my phone and had to buy a digital camera.

Today while the boys are doing tour rehearsals, we're heading down to the design studio with Keisha to bring our creations to real life. As we ride towards the studio at 8 something in the morning, I decide to call Jayla.

I get three rings before she answers. "Well hello bitch. You're having so much fun in LA you can't call a nigga?"

I smile at the sound of her voice. It's true, I've been having so much fun that I forgot to call Jayla and my parents. I text my mom goodnight every night just to reassure her I'm still alive. Other than that, my life in Boston is that farthest thing from my mind.

"You know I love though so it doesn't matter." I tell her. She laughs and I sigh, "I miss you though Jay. Whatchu been up to?"

"Other than hanging with Trayvon? Nothing's really been happening. It's like no one wants to throw any summer parties so I've been bored. But what about you how's LA?" She asks me, munching in something crunchy.

I smile, wondering where I should even start. "Well LA is beautiful, I'll send you pictures later. I've made some TM friends who are really cool so I'm fine. But Princeton, omigod he's everything I've ever dreamed. Funny, down to earth, ugh I love him so much it hurts." I whisper into the phone so no one hears how love struck I am.

Jayla laughs on the other hand. "I wish I was there with you."

I scoff, "No you don't. London is here and she's being a royal pain. She's a homie hopper too, she goes from Prince to Latimore and so on."

"Yeah, Trayvon told me about how she's there. I can just imagine how pissed you are." She says.

"Hey, as long as we stay out each other's way we're cool. I just perfect her not to be around Prince so much. He's so sweet that's he's fallen right under her spell."

Jayla sucks her teeth and I know her well enough to know she rolled her eyes too. "Girl you better claim your man before the wicked bitch of the west does."

I cover my mouth to keep from cracking up just as we pull up to the studio. "Man, I gotta go Jay. Call me later ok, love you."

"Love you too, have fun." She tells me before hanging up. I end the call and slide my phone in my pocket before our driver opens our doors. I'm sitting in the third row so I have to climb over the seats to get out. After ambling out of the car, I follow Keisha and the other girls into a fancy looking building named From Scratch. The walls are colorful like we just walked into a preschool classroom and there and female and male mannequins everywhere. Miley's song We Cant Stop is blasting from the speakers in the corners of the room. I bob my head as we follow Keisha towards a set of spiraling glass stairs and onto a second level. We walk into a small office with glass windows to find a petite woman with caramel-brown hair sitting at her desk, typing away. She looks up at us when we enter and smiles brightly.

"Keisha!" She squeals, jumping from her seat and rushing around the desk. She grabs Keisha into a bone crushing hug, bouncing on her toes. "I've missed you so much, how have you been?"

"Pretty good, keeping up with the boys." Keisha gestures to us. "Mandy this is Renee, Joya, Yannie, Kacey and London. Girls this is Mandy, this is her design studio and she's going to help you create the designs you guys made up."

Yannie raises her hand a little, "I don't know how to sew."

Mandy smiles and shrugs, "It's easy, I'll have one of my employees show all of you the basics." She breaks away from Keisha and opens one of her desk drawers, pulling out a manila folder. "I went through all your designs and I swear I thought these were professionally crafted. Especially this one,"

To my amazement, she pulls out one of my designs. "That's mine!" I exclaims.

Mandy looks at me with her twinkling brown eyes, "Girl you got skills."

"Well my little brother drew them actually." I admit modestly.

"I'm not talking about the drawings. I'm talking about how well you put these outfits together. I mean the cheetah print P on one of the jackets. Girl that is pure genius." She gushes, rifling through my photos again. "I cant wait to see all these designs come to life."

I smile so hard my face nearly splits apart. "Thank you."

"Alright, lets go downstairs and I'll introduce you to Raymond. He's one of my best workers and hes gonna show you the ropes of the studio. You'll be pros by the end of the day." Mandy tell us. Her and Keisha walk ahead of us, heading back down the stairs.

London scoffs under her breath, "I bet you think you're all that just because Mandy likes your designs, huh?" She asks

Intent on not letting her ruin my mood, I turn to her and flash a 100 watt smile. "Nah, I dont think I'm all that. But this just goes to show who has the real talent when it comes to me and you." I snap back at her. Renee giggles behind me as I turn away from London and continue following Mandy.

Ever since I woke up this morning, a wave of confidence has taken over me. Maybe it's the fact that I think I look pretty cute today in my high waisted shorts, white and red muscle tee with the anchor on it, knee highs and red converse. I had Renee help me comb the tangles out my hair so that I could wear it out. It didn't get all flowy and straight like I wanted it too but it was acceptable enough. This morning Prod even told me that he liked my shoes, red being his favorite color and all. That, plus the fact that Mandy just praised my eye for creativity, boosted my confidence to a whole new level.

London can go kick rocks for all I care.

Mandy introduces us to her friend Raymond. I knew from the start that his koolaid was extra sweet because for starters, he was wearing galaxy leggings and a blue button up shirt. He addresses everyone by boo or honey because he's really bad with names, but he's definitely one of the coolest people I've ever met. He shows us around the studio while Keisha and Mandy talk near the door.

"So in this room is where all the magic happens.' He opens one of the doors and we walk into a room filled with drawing boards, more mannequins, sewing machines, cloth, material and endless drawers of embellishments. "It looks really hectic right now but trust me honey, once you get going it will be like second nature."

I look around in complete awe, I can't wait to start working. Raymond puts his hands on his hips in a superman pose, "So I heard yall are designing clothes for Mindless Behavior. Have yall met them yet? Are they as cute in person as they are on tv?" He asks.

We giggle and Joya responds, "Please, they've even cuter. We're working with Jacob Latimore too."

"Ooh, I'm not tryin to be a cougar but that boy is a cute little chocolate drop. If I wasnt over twenty I would be spazzing so hard over him." He says, flipping his wrist dramatically. We all laugh and Raymond continues. "Alright, first off Mandy wants me to teach yall how to hand sew so---"

"Why do we have to hand sew if we have machines?" London buts in. "Its better than continuously pricking out fingers." Her arms across as she stares at Raymond, her left eyebrow cocked in a sassy manner.

Raymond looks her up and down and purses his lips, "Not everything can be hand sewn. And to avoid pricking your fingers use a thimble, Paris."

"It's London." She corrects him, rolling her neck in the process.

"My bad," Raymond says in a way that makes me think he doesn't really care. "Everyone grab a chair, I'll get the practice cloth and needles and I'll teach yall everything I know." He turns and flounces off towards one of the many cabinets. We each grab a chair and set up into a semi circle. London takes out her phone and begins scrolling through it as Raymond rifles through the shelves. I giggle at the fact that he called her Paris...something tells me it was intentional.

After three hours of practicing our sewing, we finally end the day with a few bloody fingers and a little pouch. Mine is light blue with a leather strap that Raymond added on for me. He tells us we can hold whatever we want in it and create a new fashion statement. I planned to hold my girl products in it when it was that time of months, the pouch isnt exactly what I call fashionable.

"See yall tomorrow." Mandy says to us, waving goodbye along with Raymond as we leave the shop. We climb in the Range Rover and shut the door.

"Where are we going now Keisha?" Renee asks, fiddling with her pouch, Hers is purple with a flower pattern on it.

"We're going to pick up the boys and head over to the music studio to work on some new songs. You guys will be our test subjects." She replies from the front seat.

Joya perks up, "We get to be the first ones to hear new MB songs?" A smile grows across her face. "Man, we're living the life."

"It will be even better when we're on tour with them. Front row seats to their concerts are gonna be so cool." I can already imagine fist pumping to their songs and being surrounded by the rest of the fandom from different states.

While we cruise down the highway, I decide to take picture of my bag and post it on Instragram. My caption reads: First day at the design studio, here's my first finished product lol

No sooner had I posted the picture, did my phone start blowing up with notifications. I got only 15 likes, but everything else was comments. My smile slowly fell as I read them.

That shit is ugly af

Damn...you won the competition with those skills

Stay away from MB bitch!!

Guys let her have her 15 seconds of fame

Ugly

Ew wtf is that

yall mean lmfao

Post a pic of MB

You aint got no skillz

I should have won the competition

The comments go on and on and just seem to multiply as I refresh. I shake my head and turn off my phone. I should of expected this...but simply posting a picture of my bag and I receive hate? What kind of foolishness is that?

Sometimes I really wonder whether TM is a family or if we just play the one big happy family role for MB. The people who share a common interest with you are also your worst critics. They judge from behind their screens, but are the first ones to tell each other to stop the bullying. Then they wonder why Ray has referred to us as Just Fans.

Family may have their fights but it's dead wrong to throw shade at a person you don't even know. Why can't they be happy for one another? I mean there's the popular Team Mindless that everyone knows and loves. Then there's the infamous Team Mindless who's known for doing something embarrassing, or being overdramatic, or talking about how they've met the boys so many times. They always find a reason to pick on someone.

Mindless Behavior is the thing that brings us together...the hate and jealousy is what tears us apart.

**

Sorry for errors...if you see any let me know

COMMENT. COMMENT. COMMENT

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