Struggles of a Fangirl

Struggle #54

Friday caught me off guard. I've been doing so much better than last week that the days seem to fly by. People must have watched 106 and Park too because they keep asking me for information. I'm not letting it annoy me though, I just brush off the comments by saying its an ancient Chinese secret, something my mom always said to me as a kid when she had a surprise for me.

There have been upsides too. More people are starting to notice me as Kacey and not a weirdo. I guess appearing in a music video really caught their attention because now I see MB fans all over the school. There are some haters, as usual. But I just ignore the drama, I'm not looking for any more to get in to.

Anyway, Jayla has been going crazy all day. She's so excited about the dance tonight that she can't focus on anything. She's not the only one. All during lunch and study hall I had to sit through the chatter about the dance. The dresses, the dates, the high heels. All of it was a bit much for me. I tried to convince Jayla to let us stay home, order a large pizza and watch movies. But she wasn't having it.

As soon as school released she went flying out the door on her way to her hair appointment. I flew out the door too, but only to catch my bus. I have four and a half hours before the dance starts which means I can go home, eat and watch some tv before I have to take a shower and get all primped and pretty. Imani and my aunt are coming over to help me get ready, they're almost as excited as my mother and Jayla are. I have to admit, I have a little bit of anticipation for this dance too. I'm curious to see whether or not this dance is going to be like the ones I've seen on the tv. The ones where the gym is given a complete make over with a disco ball, strobe lights and a good DJ. I want to see what everyone looks like once they've packed on all their makeup and drowned themselves in fancy fragrances.

In case you're wondering, Myles was the only one to reply to my text. I know it was him because he kept telling me to stop blaming myself and that he still loves me like a sister regardless of the drama. I was thankful for his kindness but it's not like it solved anything. His words didn't really effect me because I told myself that whether or not the others accepted my apology, I did my part and I'm not going to bend over backwards to make them like me again. It's not like we're going to run into eachother on the streets or anything so I'm not going to dwell in the past anymore.

When I get home it's completely silent. Which is strange because mom is usually listening to VH1 soul while creating some new menues for her catering business. I run upstairs and poke my head in her room only to find it empty. I check Kyle's room too but he's not on the floor with his toy cars surrounding him. Confused, I change into some sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt. I throw my bookbag down in my closet and go downstairs in search of something to eat. Before I can open the fridge I notice a note tapped to the door.

"Taking Kyle to his dentist appointment then I'm going to pick up Aunt Shannon and Imani. I'll be back in time for you to get ready. -Mom"

I bob my eyebrows and open the fridge in search of something to hold me over until it's time for the dance. I don't want to eat too much and be too full to dance later. So I settle on left over rice, brocolli and cheese from last night along with a bottle of apple juice. After heating up my food, I plop down on the couch with my feet on the arm rest and turn on the tv. Mean Girls is on so by the time it's over it will be time to go get ready for the dance. Eating and watching movies. The perfect time killing combination. I snuggle into the couch and eat my food, growing more and more excited about this dance. Even though I would never admit it to Jayla.



Some time after finishing my food, I must have dozed off because I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder like crazy. I groan and open my eyes, hating the fact that my sleep is being disturbed. My vision adjusts and I realize that I'm surrounded by my mom, Aunt Sharron, Imani and Kyle. They're all staring at me the way Edward stared at Bella in Twilight.

My mother raises her wrist and looks at her watch, "Do you see what time it is Kacey? It's 5:10 and the dance starts at 6. Are you still going or not?"

A part of my wanted to say no and roll over and fall back to sleep. Another part of me didn't want to let Jayla down or miss out on the dance. With a quick yawn, I stretch and roll off the couch, my foot lands in my bowl of left over cheese from my food earlier. Kyle cracks up and my mother sighs. "Go take a shower and I'll plug up the curling iron. Imani go lay out her dress." She orders. I coo at baby Tristan in Aunt Sharrons arms before hurrying upstairs with Imani hot on my heels.

"Only you would fall asleep on the day of a dance." She tells me laughing.

"I know right," I reply. We go burst into my room and I quickly gather my soap, deodorant and lotion before rushing into the bathroom. I strip down and jump into the steaming water, lathering up with vanilla sceneted soap. As I wash up, for some reason I start humming Little Things by One Direction. Soon I'm belting out the lyrics and dancing around in the shower. My nap must have given me the energy that I lacked earlier in the day because next thing I know I'm singing into my fist like it's a microphone, knowing good and well that everyone in the house can hear me because of our thin walls. I keep skipping from song to song, singing anything that comes to mind.

I laugh to myself as I end my kareoke sension with the song Roar by Katy Perry. The song that describes my sudden change in behavior the past few weeks and how I've been reinventing myself as a better person.

"I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire. Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar. Louder, louder than lion. Cause I am a champion and you're gonne hear me roar." I hum the rest of the song as I turn off the water and step out the shower, wrapping a towel around my body before sitting on the toilet seat to rub in my lotion. I start of at a slow and steady pace before I relaize I'm on a time limit so then I just smear lotion all over myself and rub it in sloppily before hurrying out the bathroom and back to my room.

Imani is sitting on my bed with a box of makeup in her lap while my mom is making sure the curling iron is warmed up and my aunt is smoothing out my dress. Kyle is sitting on the floor, dangling one of Tristan's toys over his head as Tristan stares up at in a trance. I go into my closet and slip on my undergarments, a pair of shorts and a loose hoodie. My mother waves me over to sit down on the bed, "Come, come. Hurry up so I can your hair." She urges. I glance at the time, 5:25. Was my shower really that long? I plop down on the floor, positioned between her legs as she combs out my hair. My mother loves testing her hair skills and i'm always the tst subject. She asked me earlier what I wanted done to my hair and I honestly didn't know so I told her to go crazy. I just hope I don't end up looking like a poodle.

As she works on my hair, Imani sits down Indian style in front of me and lays out some make up that she brough along with her. "Eyes closed please." She commands.

"Go light on the make up, I don't want to show up as a clown." I tell her and she laughs even though I'm dead serious. I don't want all the junk caked up on my face and look sick when I take it off later. My mother only lets me wear make up for special occasions, she claims that it makes me look like a tramp if I wear it too much. That's her logic, not mine. So I don't argue.

After fifteen minutes of hair pulling, scalp burns, brushes of make up against my face and some hair spray, I'm finally ready to change into my dress. Everyone leaves my room to give me some privacy and I walk over to the dress that's been hanging up on my closet door since wednesday. It was a last minute grab and go at the mall with Jayla and when I showed my mom she fell in love with it. It's a navy blue floral lace dress that's fitted with mesh at the top and flows at the bottom. A satin ribbon is wrapped around my waist and tied in a bow in the back. I shimmy the dress on, the soft material brushes just above my knees as I admire myself in the mirror.

My hair is pulled up in a high pony tail that falls down in pretty spiral curls. My eyes look even wider due to the mascara and the dark eyeshadow gives my eyes that mysterious shine. I'm actually pleased with how everything turned out. I didn't think I'd look this good after having to rush around so much, but thanks to my mom and Imani everything turned out ok. I sit down on my bed and fasten on the tiny 3 inch heels that my mom and I decided are the safest height for me before grabbing the contact case on my dresser.

I lean close to the mirror and pop in the contacts, blinking a few times to keep them in place. I wanted to wear them tonight to show everyone this is a new Kacey. A better and bolder Kacey. I wont be wearing them often but at least they can get a taste for the new me. I hear the door open downstairs and my mom voice follows, welcoming Jayla inside. I quickly spritz on some of the Coach Poppy perfume my mother got me for my birthday last year and grab my purse before hurrying down the stairs.

Jayla gasps when she sees me and I do the same. "You look so pretty." We say in unison, taking in eachothers dresses. She's wearing a mint green peplum dress with nude heels. Her hair is pulled up in a sleek bun and she holds a black clutch in her hands. Treyvon is standing beside her, sporting a button down shirt with khakis and a tie the same color as her dress. She was so excited that our school allowed students to bring outside people, and now I see why. They look so cute and coordinated together. I give Treyvon a light hug and try to escape out the door but my mom holds me back.

"Not so fast, let me take some pictures." She says, closing the door and taking a few steps back. She holds up her phone and I roll my eyes before standing on the left side of Jayla with my hand on my hip, forcing a smile just to make my mother happy. My aunt gets out her camera too and they begin snapping picture after picture. My cheeks start to hurt from smiling so hard and I can feel Jayla shift uncomfortably from trying to keep still. Just then my father comes in and sets his brief case down, grabbing me and turning me around to examine me.

"The dress is a little short for my taste but other than that you look beautiful." He tells me. I smile modestly and thank him.

"Thank you, now will you please tell mom to let us go now?" I plead with him. I stop and pose for one last picture with him before looking back at him with begging eyes. He laughs and walks over to my mom, lowering her camera. "Alright that's enough, save some room for her prom in June." He tells her. She sighs and finally puts the camera down, ending our photo shoot.

I open the door again, "Bye, I'll call you when the dance is over." I say quickly before they find any other reason to hold us back.

"Bye baby, have fun." My mother tells me, followed by a chorus of "byes" from my aunt, dad and cousins. I leave out the door and follow Jayla and Trey to her moms car. We slide into the cool car and I exchange greetings with her mom before we pull off and head to the school. The whole ride is full of excited chatter about the danc. Jayla can't stop freaking out about my dress even though she was there when I bought it. I laugh and roll my eyes at her, she must be forgetting how gorgeous she looks right now. Treyvon sure is enjoying what he sees because every few minutes he would steal a glance at her or find some reason to touch her. It feels kind of weird to be the third wheel so the anticipation to get out this car and into a gym full of people is killing me.

When we finally arrive at the school and hop out the car, my excitement level has skyrocketed. Jaya, Trey and I quickly make our way up the stairs and enter the lobby where some kids are waiting for their friends or doing last minute appearance checks. We casually walk past them, trying not to seem like kids who have walked into Toys R Us for the first time. I can already hear the thumping bass of a song shaking the wall and vibrating the floor. With giddy smiles, we walk into the gym and it surprises me that our usually musty gym has actually been transformed into a fun club scene.

Balloons fill the cieling, the smell of food lingers in the air, glittering streamers are hung up in a swirling fashion on the walls and the lights are dimmed. The dance floor is already filled up with students dancing to Sean Kingston's Beat It while the teachers are barely supervising from their spots along the walls. Everyone is laughing and dancing, just enjoying themselves. A few people glance in my direction, looking me up and down before leaning in to whisper to their friends. I suddenly become a little self concious and tug at the hem of my dress. Jayla catches me and slaps my hand away.

"Stop it, you look fine. Please dont stress tonight Kay, it's all about letting loose and having fun. Alright?" She says, giving me the face my mom gives me when she knows I'm over analyzing situations. I inhale and exhale deeply before nodding my head yes. She smirks and links arms with Trey and I, pulling us to the center of the dance floor. We start dancing along with everyone else and just like earlier in the shower, I start to feel loose and electric like the music is taking me to my happy place. All the drama starts to fade away. The stress melts away. And I feel like my old self again. I've missed this Kacey. I want this Kacey to stay as long as she can.



Half way through the dance I get really sweaty and dehydrated. Jayla and Trey are still on the dance floor acting like one of those lovey dovey couples that cant take a break from eachother. I decide to give them some alone time for a moment and go over to the snack table for something to drink. My science teacher pours me a cup of Orange soda, offering me a warm smile.

"Are you enjoying yourself Kacey? You look much happier than I've seen you so far this year." She says, concern clear in her eyes.

I smile after taking a sip from my cup, "Yeah, I'm having a lot of fun. Im glad Jayla made me come." I tell her. She nods before turning to another student to fill his cup. I look around at all my peers. I see London wearing a hot pink dress with ruffles at the bottom, laughing with a group of boys who are only dancing so they have an excuse to be around her. She obviously doesnt mind the attention as she takes a turn dancing with each of them. I laugh to myself. Some people never change.

Most of the boys are in little groups around the gym, eyeing girls and smirking as they dance to the music, completely unaware that hormonal boys are watching their every move. I laugh to myself as one boy literally walks over to a girl and puts an arm around her waist, pullin her away from her friends. she laughs as he does, keeping his arms around her, they start dancing closely which will turn into grinding in no time. I look around at the other couples, feeling a bit of envy, wondering why I can't be dancing with a cute boy right now too.

My eyes wander over to the corner of the room where I see Carter from my History class. He's one of the cutest boys in the 10th grade with dark green eyes, brown hair and an olive complexion. We've never talked before because he's in the popular crowd but its never too late to change that. Carter is standing with a few of his friends as they goof around but he doesn't look like he's fully aware of what they're laughing about. He's looking around the gym like he's searching for something to excite him and maybe Im that something.

After finishing my soda I throw out my cup and make a bee line towards Carter, pushing people to the side to reach my target. I'm so intent on reaching him before another girl does that I dont notiixe the hand that shoot out from beside the bleachers and grab my arm. I shriek in surprise as I'm yanked into the shadows.

"What the---" I spin around, ready to yell at someone for pulling me so roughly, when I'm met with a set of familiar brown eyes. My mouth curves into a smile as I jump forward and wrap my arms around him. "Myles what are you doing here?"

"I told you to send me pictures before you went to the dance and you never did." He says, frowning at me and giving me a stank look.

I laugh, "Is that the only reason you came all the way to the Boston."

"Actually we just happened to be passing through and I thought we should stop and see you." He replies.

"We?"

"Yeah, me and the boys. They're here." He tells me. My face must have gone blank because Myles sighs. "Kacey yall need to talk. Not later, not next week. But now."

I shake my head. "Myles I came here to forget about all the drama and you brought them here? I thought you understood me but I guess not. Thanks for nothing." I cross my arms, glaring at him hard. I look over my shoulder to see if I can spot an abnormal amount of curly hair or a boy wearing sunglasses for no reason.

Kacey I'm trying to help yall. So you either come with me the easy way or the hard way." Myles says sternly, the playfullness disappearing from his eyes.

"Please don't do this to me Myles." I frown.

"Sorry but that's not an option." He replies, no amount of compassion in his voice.

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Try anything and I'll scream." I warn him.

"As loud as this music is, who's gonna hear you?" He asks. I open my mouth to say a slick comeback but before I know it, Myles has lifted me up and flung me over his shoulder. I let out a yelp of surprise instead of a scream and soon enough he's slipped out the door that leads us to the locker room hallway. I kick my feet and pound on his back but he continues to walk calmly like he didn't just kid nap me from the dance.

I continue to kick, hit and complain, hoping that Jayla or a teacher walks in right now. We round the corner that leads to the hallway of the girls locker rooms and I punch Myles hard in his spine. "Put me down Myles. NOW!" I shout, feeling a breeze up my dress. If I knew that a boy would be carrying me over his shoulder earlier, I probabaly would have worn tights.

"Calm down big mouth." He says, setting me down on my feet.

"I hate you right now." I slap him on the arm and whirl around, about to take a step then freeze, realizing we're no longer alone. Prince is leaning against the wall and staring down at the floor, his posture looks weak but tense. I look over my shoulder at Myles but he's no longer standing behind me. That boy has footsteps as light as a feather.

I turn back to Prince, unable to find the words I'm looking for. I don't want to ask why he's here because it's pretty obvious. Now I wish Myles had stayed just so things wouldn't be so tense and awkward. "Are we just going to stand here in a musty hallway or...." I trail off, waiting for him to say something.

Prince finally looks up at me, guilt flickering in his eyes. "I came here to apologize...now I don't even know where to start." He adds an awkward chuckle and pushes off the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I know Myles has told you everything that's been going on with us. And by your text, there's no reason to reiterate what was already made clear." He furrows his brows, searching for his next words. "The only reason I blew up like that at the club was because I was hurt. I thought kissing you would win your favor and you'd choose me...I just wish I would have known Prodigy already tried the same tactic."

"That's where you're wrong Prince." I point out. "Prodigy kissed me because he had genuine feelings. You kissed me...because you wanted someone to fill London's place. And I was dumb enough to be that person."

"That's isn't true Kace. I kissed you because I realized what I missed out on when I rejected you. I'll admit it, I was stupid for chasing after London. Now that I've had some time to think about it I see what a dumb ass I was for treating you like that. But I'm not going to let you think I only kissed you because London and I didn't work out. I kissed you because I wanted you and I was hoping it wasn't too late for me to have you."

"Yet you yelled at me when you found out Prodigy kissed me. What was I supposed to do about something that happened in the past. I couldn't and still can't reverse time, Prince!" I exclaim.

Prince walks closer to me, close enough that I can clearly see the regret on his face. "I know and I'm sorry for blaming you. Things haven't been right since the club and I'm willing to take the of the responsibility. Me and Prod messed up, you had your hands tied and we made it seem like you were messing with our head for the fun of it when you were just having conflicted emotions." Prince reaches out towards me and takes my hand, he gently pulls me closer and my feet willingly take the few steps to shorten the distance between us. I look up at him, not sure whether to throw my arms around him or walk away.

"I said I was done with the drama...and now I don't know what to do." I admit to him. I want things to be ok between us but I don't want to just forgive him so easily and run back into his arms. That's what messed me up the last time. I feed into every sappy apology he gives me and I end up getting hurt again. I wish I could predict whether or not this apology is genuine.

"I'm not here to cause drama, I'm here to fix things with us." He replies is a calm voice. His eyes bore into mine, begging me to accept his apology. I want to. God knows I want to accept it right now. But I'm scared of getting hurt once again when this all blows over. Prince sighs, "Kacey I'm so sorry." He rests a hand on the back of my neck and pulls me closer. Closer and closer until his cologne takes over me and his breath brushes my lips. I freeze up as he leans down towards my lips that have suddenly gone dry. So many voices scream in my head, some saying yes some saying no. My heart pounds and I don't have long to decide on my next move.

"Am I interrupting something?" A voice calls to us and I jump, thinking its a teacher. I turn to find Prodigy storming our way, anger covering his face. "I thought we were gonna confront Kacey together. This wasn't the plan Prince."

"Well it's not my fault. I needed to get this off my chest and you were taking too long so I had Keisha bring me here." Princeton replies, slowly letting go of my hand. "It doesn't matter anyway, you're nothing but a rebound! Kacey knows who her heart belongs to so just chill." Princeton replies, shocking both of us. Prod makes a scoffing noise in his throat before pulling his fist back and punching him right in the jaw. I scream in surprise, jumping back to avoid any flying fist.

Prod pushes Prince to the ground and battering his face with more blows. Princeton fights back, kicking and punching Prod in the chest, trying to knock the breath out of him. I see a drop of blood on the floor but I don't know which person it came from.

"Stop, you two are acting stupid right now!" I scream at them, they both ignore me and I groan in agitation. I drop to my knees next to them, trying to pry both of them apart. "Stop it, both of you!"

"Prodigy!" I yell, gripping his shoulders and using all my strength to push him off of Prince. He scampers to his feet and tries to go at Prince again but I stand in front of him, pressing my hand into his chest to hold him back. I look down at Prince who's still on the floor, being the weaker one, his face is badly bruised and his lip is bleeding. He takes a moment to catch his breath before standing up clumsily.

"Stay here and if you start fighting again I swear to God I'll have the security guards escort you out and never talk to you again." I snap at them before storming off into the bathroom. I grab some paper towels and wet them, catching a brief glance of myself in the mirror. My face looks flustered and worry lines crease my forehead. Sighing, I walk back out to the hallway where theyre sulking on opposite sides of the wall. I thrust the paper towels into the boys hands. They mutter a thank you and clean up their faces.

I look back and forth between the boys in disappointment, both of them look a mess in their disheveled and hanging clothes. "I can't believe you two." I say, crossing my arms. "Did y'all really think fighting was gonna solve anything?" I cross my arms like an angry parent.

"We came here to apologize to Kacey, not to push up on her." Prod growls, glaring at Princeton.

Prince scoffs, "I aint pushing up on her, I'm apologizing just like you would if you had gotten here first. And lets not forget who she liked first. She didn't even glance in your direction until she needed a shoulder to cry on."

Prod's eyes turn nearly black as he shoves Prince again. Prince tries to hit back but I get between them, just barely dodging Prince's flying fists. I spread my arms out to hold them away from eachother.

"Both of you need to get a grip!" I shout, pushing them further away from each other. Prod opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off quickly, "No, don't say anything to me. You guys are fighting each other like you own me!" I look at both of them, anger radiating off my body. "You look freaking pathetic right now."

Prince sighs and I glance at him, "Prince I'm pissed off at you because you keep treating me like dirt and I always run back to you. I made my mistakes and I apologized for them, yet you still gave me the cold shoulder. You may have a charming personality but that doesn't solve anything when you crush a girls heart like you did mine." I tell him, he stares at me with guilt in his eyes before looking at the floor in shame. Then I turn to Prod.

"And you...this is a new level of low Prod. I thought you would be the most forgiving but you acted just as bad he did. You came on to me right after Prince hurt me, a time when I was most vulnerable and then you got mad because I was caught in a love triangle. You don't know what's going on in my head so don't try to tell me what I do and don't want."

I want to say more but I can't because a lump has formed in my throat. I cover my face with my hands, blocking out the stress that's taking a toll on me. I take deep breaths in order to keep my breathing steady. I swallow the cries bubbling up from my throat.

The hallway is silent for a long time, everyone thinking over what just happened as my words marinate in the air. Both boys are breathing hard from their fight a few minutes ago, probably aching from all the bruises. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, not caring about ruining the curls my mom spent so much time on. I feel hot all of a sudden and I long for a deep breath of fresh air. I wonder if Jayla is curious where I am or if she's too wrapped up in Trey to notice me missing.

I scrape my heel against the floor, "Before anything else happens. Y'all need to apologize to each other. Whether you like it or not you're brothers. You live with eachother a majority of the time, you're in a band together. Y'all have been through it all, so you might as well make up." I command them, wondering if this is how Walter feels when the boys have a disagreement.

Prince shakes his head, "why should I apologize for expressing my feelings."

"Because you came at the situation the wrong way." Prodigy snaps at him. I roll my eyes at their banter, tapping my foot impatiently.

Prince and Prod avoid each others gazes for a long time before Prod finally speaks up. "Look, I'm sorry I blew up on you like that. I should have controlled myself and confronted everything in a different matter. You my bro for life Prince and I don't want to mess that up."

Prince glances at him hesitantly and chuckles a little, digging the toe of his sneaker into the ground. "I'm sorry too man. I shouldn't have made a move on Kacey when I knew you had feelings for her. I was way out of line and you had a reason to be mad at me. A girl will never come between us again no matter how much we like her, iight?" He holds out his fist for Prod to dap it. They bump fist and hug each other, something about them changes. Maybe it's the happy glint that appears in their eyes. Maybe it's the smiles radiating off their faces. Either way, they both look ten times happier than before. They no longer look like strangers to each other.

Prodigy pulls back and eyes me. "I'm sorry for turning my back on you Kacey. I was just hurt that you kissed Prince and I felt like I was being just something for you to fall back on. I got mad at the world and blocked everyone out. I'm sorry."

"Myles told us you haven't been feeling like yourself lately and we know its because of us. We're sorry for putting you through all that drama over petty stuff. We're sorry for all the tears we made you shed, all the guilt we caused. We're sorry for everything and we're going to make it up to you." Prince adds on, sincerity in his eyes.

I smile a little, tilting my head to the side. "Thank you, that's all I wanted." I sigh in relief, shifting from side to side on my feet that's starting to ache.

Princeton nods before his eyes turn intense again, "So whatchu feeling now Kacey?" He asks and Prodigy raises his eyebrows at me dramatically. I know what they're both asking: Who do I want to be with now?

My eyes flick back and forth between the two boys. Two out of four of the boys that I used to dream about. Two boys that have taken me on a roller coaster ride this summer. The two boys that helped me find myself and bring out my inner me. Princeton, the care free spirit that knows how to charm his way into anyone's heart. Prodigy, the laid back vocalist who's in touch with his self and concerned for others well being. Both of them equally alluring.

"I don't choose either of you." I admit them. Their faces blanch as they stare at me, eyes nearly the size of bowling balls.

"Neither? How could you choose neither of us!?" Prince exclaims, his voice hitting a high note.

I laugh as his voice cracks a little. "Because I'm unable to choose between you guys. I love both of you and I think we should just be friends in order to preserve what we have. Prod I love you because you're honest and levelheaded with a pure soul. You would be like a care taker for me because you'd protect me." Prodigy beams at me, sheepishly looking down at his feet. I look at Prince who stills looks a little stunned, "Prince you're so charismatic and creative that I can't help but love you. You'd be the one who's able to make me smile even on my worst days. You both have so much to offer and if I choose one of you then I lose the other. I'd rather keep you as my close friends so that I can have my cake and eat it too."

"After all that we went through." Prod chuckles lightly, shaking his head a little.

Both boys exchange a glance, smiling like they understand my reasoning. I scrunch my brows up in worry, "You guys aren't mad at me are you? You're not going to go home and secretly curse me out in your head and start hating me, right?"

They shake their heads. "Nah, I guess not. You're doing what's best for all of us. Maybe this is how it's meant to be. I am a little crushed though." Prod says. "We're still cool right?" I nod my head yes, a tiny weight is lifts from shoulders.

"Best friends!" Prince exclaims, grabbing me in his arms and hugging me tightly, I laugh as he lifts me off the ground briefly, I inhale his delicious cologne and he laughs. "Stop sniffing me." I blush from being caught. "You look gorgeous by the way." Prince tells me, setting me back down on my feet.

"Yeah, I was caught off guard by how beautiful you look. I miss your braces though." Prod adds on and I feel myself smile brightly at the compliments. I twirl around in my dress for a moment, feeling as free as the material swishing around my legs.

"Yo," Myles appears beside me with his hands in his pockets. "Sorry to break up this love fest, but we gotta get back to the tour bus before Walter loses his mind."

I throw my arms around Myles and hug him tightly. "Thank you for helping us fix things Big Head." I tell him, squeezing him gently.

"Anything for my big sis." He replies.

I break apart from him and turn to face Prod and Prince. "Thank you guys for setting me free from all the stress. I really appreciate you guys coming tonight." I give them a double hug. "I love you."

"We love you to Kace." Prodigy says, giving me a new nickname. He plants a kiss on my left cheek while Prince does the same to my right. "Now go back in there and have fun before your friend thinks you went missing." Prince says playfully. I run a hand through his curls one last time and wave goodbye to all of them before turning and hurrying back down the hall, my heels clicking against the tile floor. I walk with a slight bounce in my step, the song "Walking on Sunshine" playing in my head. I giggle to myself and push through the doors, walking back into the gym. I glance over my shoulder again to see Myles, Prod and Prince watching me. I wave to them again before taking a step and bumping into someone. My head whips around to see a boy about 5'8, staring down at me.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I blurt out, face palming myself for being back at my klutzy ways.

The boy laughs. "It's ok. Who were you waving at?"

I jerk my thumb behind me and glance over my shoulder "Oh just..." I trail off when I realize the boys are no longer there. I bite my tongue and turn to face the boy again. "No one, never mind...I swear I'm not crazy." I realize that I'm about to start babbling so I just casually begin walking away.

"Wait a minute," the boys grabs my wrist and I turn slowly to face him again, my eyebrow raising up in alarm. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" He asks. I stare at him confused then he smiles. "You're the girl from McDonald's, the one who pushed her little brother into me."

It takes me a minute but then I finally remember that day over the summer when we went to visit my grandparents at their beach house and my parents forced me to walk to McDonalds for some ice cream with Jayla and Kyle. I gasp, "Omigosh that was like three months ago at the mcdonalds near the beach. How do you remember me?" I ask laughing.

The boy smiles, "I never forget a pretty face." He replies, his perfectly white teeth sparkling like he's fresh out a Colgate commercial.

"I'm Kacey," I tell him.

"Trust me, I know who you are. I saw you on the BET awards." He says like he's impressed. "I'm Jermaine, nice bumping into you again." We shake hands and he yanks me close to his chest. "May I have this dance?"

My heart flutters in my chest and all I can do is nod. He places his hand gently against my waist and grasp my other hand in his. We begin swaying to the music and I can't help but laugh. A few months ago I would be tripping over my own feet and shaking uncontrollably. But thanks to Prodigy and Prince, I feel comfortable knowing that I'm perfectly-imperfect.

 For the rest of the night I dance with Jermaine, no longer wishing I was home eating pizza and watching movies i've seen at least a dozen times already. I was having so much that I barely noticed Jayla watching me and giving my the sly eyes from across the room. Jermaine and I were talking and laughing like we were old friends who are just now meeting back up. He kept me laughing and didn't one ask me about being on tour with MB. And when a slow song came on, he pulled my close to his chest and wrapped his arms securely around my waist as we swayed to the beat.

 Even now as I walk up the pathway to my house, I still have a smile lingering on my lips.

 1) Because I smell like Jermaine's colgone, a scent I wish I could bottle up and keep for myself.

 And 2) Because we exchanged numbers right before the dance ended.

 Could my night get any better?

 I got my answer when I walk into the house, flicking on the light and locking the door. I turn around and my mouth drops open when I see the living room is covered in hundreds of red and white roses. There are Teddy Bears with MB's faces on them and a bunch of I'm sorry cards. I laugh, walking farther into the living room. There are literally flowers, balloons, cards and teddy bears all over the place. I have to tip toe to avoid stepping on anything or knocking something over.

 Footsteps come down the stairs and I glance over my shoulder to see my mother enter the living room, holding a boquet of at least 80 red roses with a few white roses making a heart in the middle. "These were delivered here about an hour after you left. by a boy with braids and the another that was lightskinned with curly hair." I take the roses from her arms, gawking at how heavy they are. My mother watches me as I admire the scene in front of me. "I'm guessing this means you made up with Mindless Behavior?" She asks.

 All I can do is nod my head and laugh giddly, unable to speak. I can't believe they did this for me. Even if I didn't accept their apologies they were still willing to go out of their way to make it up to me. This must have taken them dozens of trips to and from the car to deliever all this stuff. I glance over at the huge white teddy bear in the corner of the room with Roc's face on it, holding an "I'm Sorry' heart. I beam at it, making a mental note to text him and thank him before I go to sleep. Something draped across the couch catches my eye and I walk closer to get a better look. My heart skips a beat when I realize what it is. Princeton's jacket, the one with the leopard print P. My smile grows even wider at the sight of it,

 "Where the heck do they expect me to put all of this?" I ask, looking at my mother in alarm.

 "That sounds like a personal problem." She tells me before heading back upstairs. "Good night."

 I laugh and shake my head. The struggle is real.

**

ITS OFFICIALLY OVER....(sheds a few tears). I don't know about a sequel yet guys but I'm defintely thinking about it so let me know if you have any ideas. Comment your reaction about the book, tell me what you liked, ask questions and I'll try my best to answer them. Thank you guys for going through all the struggles with me and having patience when I went through my writers block. I hope you all see a little bit of Kacey in yourselves and can relate to some of her struggles. I'll probabaly have a whole new book up in a few weeks because I love updating and I have some new  ideas. Anywayyyyy, don't forget to comment and check out Kacey's dress in the multimedia.

Love, SincerelyPink ♥