Struggles of a Fangirl

Struggle #29

That same night, MB brought the OMG girlz on stage during the Missing You performance. London watched from the side of the stage as they performed. Even though Prince was given Babydoll instead of Bahja, London still wasn't a happy camper. She glares at the girls as MB serenades them and the crowd goes wild. Prince puts an arm around Babydoll's neck and London storms away from the curtain and plops down in the couch besides me.

"Why the hell is this song so long? Get them off the stage now!" London growls, tapping her purple nails on the arm rest furiously.

"It's the same length that it has been every other night." Yannie points out, getting the costume racks ready for MB's next costume change.

London stands up again with a flounce of her skirt. "I hope she falls." She says, peering through the curtain at the stage again. Renee rolls her eyes and Joya shakes her head. I'm pretty sure everyone is just about done with London for the day. Not only did Walter blow up on all of us, telling us that we should have been mature. But now he has to accompany us every time we go out to eat just to make sure nothing like the food fight happens again. He's got us on tight lockdown for a while until this al blows over. Apparently some paparazzi got some pictures of Prince, Bahja and London standing outside the restaurant covered in food. Bad publicity equals an angry Walter.

The boys wrap up the song and lead the OMG girlz off the stage. When Princeton emerges laughing with Babydoll, London immediately rolls her eyes and heads down the hall towards the bathroom. Prince stares in her direction for a moment before heading the opposite way towards his dressing room.

Call me crazy, but London just might be catching genuine feelings for Prince. Maybe it has to do with the facts that they've gotten pretty close in the last couple of weeks. Or maybe it's because she's jealous that he's such good friends with OMG. Whatever the reason is, it's bringing a whole lot of tension.

I wait a few minutes before following Prince towards his dressing room. I knock on the door lightly before he tells me to come in. Pushing open the door, I find Prince wearing Yannie's designs, lacing up his white and grey sneakers. He doesn't say anything, making it feel a little awkward. I'm so used to his usual babbling, mostly about the energy of the crowd and how he loves what he does. Now he just seems drained.

"The boys are pissed at me. They say its my fault that Walters watching us like a hawk now." He finally says, standing to his full height now that his shoes are tied. "London's barely said two words to me."

I don't say anything, in fear of upsetting him even more. He already seems sad and disappointed in himself, I don't want to make matters worse. Prince runs his fingers through his hair, "Maybe...I'm not good enough for London."

"What!?" I scream, surprising myself at how loud I am. Prince doesn't seemed phased as he nods his head.

"I should have stopped Bahja before she went too far. I think she really hurt London." He tells me, continuing to stare in the mirror.

I can't believe this...I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS! Princeton from Mindless Behavior is satin he not good enough for a stuck up, spoiled brat like London? Please tell me I'm having a freaking nightmare right now.

I slam the door shut and storm over to Princeton, taking him by his shoulders and spinning him around so we're face to face. "Do you hear yourself Princeton? Do you hear how dumb you sound right now?" I snap, he stares at me surprised as I continue my rant. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe London is the problem? If your best friends don't like her, did it ever register in your mind that maybe shes not worth the trouble?"

Princeton takes my hands off him. "What are you talking about? You're the one that's been coaching me all along, telling me what London likes and doesn't like. But it seems like the things I do dont phase her. She doesn't compliment me on the clothes I wear for her or the gifts I buy her. I'm starting to think you don't know her the way you claim you do."

I chuckle humorlessly, "Trust me Princeton, I know her better than you think! She isn't worth chasing after."

He shake his head, "What!? You're the one that convinced me to go after her. Man...You sound just like Prodigy."

I freeze up, my whole body tensing and the rest of my rant evaporating from my mind. "W-what do you mean?"

"He said the same thing to me a few days ago. When we came home from the gym. He was really upset because you like me but I like London. He claims I'm stupid for not seeing it but I just don't want to ruin our friendship Kacey. Princetons eyes have softened, his voice is h low and gentle like he's talking to a small child. "Prod told me how you've been vying for my attention but...I think we're better friends."

"H-he told you that? W-why did he...I thought---"

"Prodigy likes you Kacey, he thinks he deserves you. I can tell by the way he yelled at me, telling me to stop toying with you." Princeton places his hands on my shoulder. "Truth is Kacey you've been a good friend to me and I honestly thank you for trying to help me with London. But I think we should just stay friends. I know she can be a little high maintenance and hard to get along with sometimes but yall dont know here like I do. I caught feelings for London that cant just go away. Thank you for the help and everything but I'm just gonna ask London to the BET awards as my apology and get her back on my good side."

I remain frozen in my spot, my mind racing one thousand miles per second. Princeton hugs me tightly before checking his watch "I gotta get back on stage..." He mumbles then look back up at me. "We still cool?"

"I don't know Prince...are we?" I ask him. Prince purses his lips and sighs before sticking his hands in his pocket and shuffling out the room.

Tears burn my eyes, my throat closes up and my legs feel weak. Princeton knows...he knows I like him. How could he act so calm around me, knowing that I'm crushing hard on him? And London...he's still after London even after what happened earlier in the day. Even though she acts so vain. Why!?

I walk out the dressing room, staring blankly ahead of me as I try to wrap my mind around the fact that Princeton is still blindly in love with the Paris. I suddenly bump into something hard and look up to find Prod holding onto my arm to keep me from stumbling. I rip my arm away from him angrily.

"Wassup Kacey?" He asks, innocence written all over his face.

"You tell my Prodigy," I snap back angrily. "You know, out of all the people here I thought I could trust you the most." His eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. "The next time you want to be a problem solver, find someone else's dilemma fix. I didn't need you to tell Princeton for me, I was handling it just fine without your help."

Prodigy sighs and rubs his head, "Kacey I'm sorry about that alright? I was just tired of you stressing yourself over someone who doesn't deserve you."

"And your the person that does deserve me?" I ask, not bothering to hide the anger in my voice. "I just got humiliated by my crush. He knew I liked him and didn't even care because he's stuck up London's ass! I've been trying to make him see what a bitch she is, I've been throwing every thing I've got into this and he still wants her. I feel like shit!"

Curse words start pouring from my mouth like I don't have a filter, something that only happens when I'm on the verge of a complete break down. By now I'm crying hard, ugly sniffles, croaked out noises and a heavy flow of tears. This day has been horrible and I can't wait for it to be over.

"I tried to get him to see what a air head London is. From his clothes to his nose ring but nothing's working. He so stupid and blind that he can't see through her icy heart. And then London's so slick that she gets away with everything!" I yell angrily, "And to top it off, you had to go and tell him that Im freaking love struck and at the end of the day it's me who comes out looking like an idiot."

"Kacey I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking about the out come I was just thinking about myself. I wanted you to see that Prince isn't worth it...I didn't mean to embarrass you like that." Prodigy explains quickly, trying to get me to stop crying. I hide my face in my hands, my cheeks burning from embarrassment once again. I feel Prodigy tug me into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around me like my own personal security blanket. The tears keep coming and he stands there, holding me against his chest.

There's so many reasons why I'm crying that I can't even explain them all. But I'm also so confused. How can I be so angry at Prod one moment but then find myself being comforted by him the next? Is it because he was only looking out for me? Maybe. Is it because he's showing me genuine concern after Prince just tore my heart out? Probably. All I know is that I just want to stay in his embrace for a little while longer, crying the pain away.

"Prodigy!" I hear Ray running towards us. "We're five minutes late getting back on stage man, lets go!" He slows down when he reaches us, "Whoa, Kacey what's wrong?"

I peel away from Prodigy and look up at him, his brown eyes meeting mine sadly. "Can we talk later?" He asks me.

I shrug a little, "Yeah."

He nods lightly before turning and running with Ray down the hall. I sniffle a little heading towards the bathrooms to clean myself up. Standing outside the bathroom door is London, arms crossed as usual with her head titled to the side. "You sly dog." She says to me.

I sigh, not in the mood to deal with her right now. "Now what London?"

She pushes a off the wall and steps over to me, "These hallways echo Kacey...I heard everything you said to Prodigy." She sneers, my stomach twist into even more knots. "You set Princeton up...lying to him about ways to impress me? That's low for you."

"Look I'm sorry London alright? He obviously likes you too much to---"

"Trust me Kacey, you're no where near as sorry as you're gonna be when I tell Prince everything." She says to me, venom dripping from her words. "You're always talking about how sensitive he is and how he doesn't deserved to be played with, but that's exactly what you're doing to him. Just wail until he finds out his new bestfriend  has been stabbing him in the back."

"London come on we don't have to go there. I told you I'm sorry." I beg her, my hands shaking nervously.

London steps closer to my face, her green eyes making ice form in my veins and a shiver run down my spine. She's so close I can smell her strawberry lipgloss, "I'm going to make you regret ever opening up your big mouth. You think I bullied you in school? Well your life is about to become a living hell Kacey Miller, because you are a pathetic, love struck puppy who doesn't know when to back off what's mine. You'd better start kissing up to me real quick if you dont want me to expose your sorry self to everyone, especially their little fan base. Team mindless or whatever they're called, will do all the dirty work for me and tarnish your rep."

She pushes past me, painfully bumping my shoulder as she does so. Her wedge sandals click against the floor as she disappears down the hall. I go into the bathroom and stagger into one of the stalls feeling dizzy and terrified. What have I gotten myself in to?

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