The euphoria was gone and it had slipped down the cracks of the gravel along with Eren's winning streak.
He shortly blacked out after that horrific event. He couldn't sense what was real and what was make-believe. He felt like he was floating on a cloud above water and ready to drown into it. His breathing was shallow and weak as he lay unconsciously on the bare and blank bed. He wanted to move, wanted to get up and run and track down those bastards who beat him up and ask for a reasonable reason to why they would do such a morbid thing to someone they didn't even know, but he was completely powerless.
It was like experiencing alarming sleep paralysis all over again on restless and coffee powered nights. Being hit by a hard dodge ball and able to get up before digesting what was going on. I can't move, and everything is bright, Eren thought to himself as he tried to wiggle the tips of his toes and his finger tips, but still nothing happened.
It was like having ice as muscles and iron pipes as bones along with cold marble as skin. A statue doomed to a fate that any other statue would have; resting in the same pose for what felt like a thousand years and not being able to say anything. It was like looking up the sky, except Eren knew he wasn't outside. He was looking up at a ceiling, and room was just to bright for comfort. The ridges and crooked lines of the plaster somewhat comforted him in come odd way, letting him know he could still see. His ears were working, too. The sounds of hushed whispers and deadly low voices spilled into his listening ears like water would when he was at the waterslide back when he was a kid.
"Not only his hands, Mr. Ackerman. We took a look at him while he was sleeping. One bruise on the side of his head and torso. They shouldn't be too bad. It must have happened when he was trying to protect himself. Natural human instinct and all," a soft voice was whispering quietly.
"Did you call his house? His sister is going to freak out if she finds out we didn't call her soon enough," a gruff voice said.
It was Levi talking to a nurse and Eren was certain of that. His memory was fuzzy, and all he remembered was that he was beaten up and his hands were probably broken. He couldn't remember what happened after that.
"Can I see him please?" Eren heard Levi's pleading voice. "Even if It's just for five seconds."
There was a long, lingering pause until he got a response to his question.
"Alright, I don't see the harm in it. You have fifteen minutes, okay?"
Eren felt his heart race and pound with excitement. He wanted to see Levi. He wanted to see him so desperately and urgently because he knew he would make him feel better, even if it was just a little. The door swung open abruptly, and it took all his energy to turn his head eagerly as it closed again. The room's walls were pale green, almost minty looking and there was a small, black table by his bed stacked with books and manga. They probably thought he'd get bored being in there, meaning he was going to stay in the hospital for a while. Standing with his arms folded and a frown plastered on his perfect face, was Levi. Eren's heart skipped a beat. The person he needed to see was Levi.
"Hey, Sleeping Beauty," he said as he approached slowly and sat on the side of the bed. His frown gradually morphed into a crooked grin, but Eren knew the man wasn't happy. That grin was for his sake, to show him that everything would be okay. Eren already knew the answer to that. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm exhausted," he replied. "I can't feel my hands." They were under the blankets and he was too scared to bring them out and see them. He knew they were probably wrapped in bandages, bloody and messy and broken.
Levi's frown returned to his face at the mention of hands.
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" Eren demanded softly.
"I should have stayed with you. If I were there by your side, this wouldn't have happened-"
"Hey," he cut him off as he finally pulled out his stiff hand and tried to cup the man's cheek with it. "You didn't do anything wrong, you old fart. Who knows, maybe it could have happened to you too if you were with me. They would beat the both of us up, and you would get hurt, too. I can't imagine that happening to you."
"Beat me up? Is that a joke?" Levi said as an attempt to lighten the mood.
"Well, it would be inevitable if they were capable to injure you at least."
"I don't care. If I was there, maybe you wouldn't have ended up like this. Maybe we would have had a few punches to the face, but we would return home tired as the anger settled in our hearts and eventually cool down. We would strip and look at all the bruises littering our back and the mood would grow tense as I stare at your faint V line and we would kiss. It wouldn't have happened. Your hands would be limp but they were the same. This could have ended differently," Levi muttered quickly under his breath as he took Eren's hand in his and showed him a wistful smile. "I fucked up a lot. I can't do anything right, can't I?"
Eren shook his head and exhaled loudly with a roll of his eyes. He tipped his head to the side and watched as strands of brown hair got in the way of his vision.
"You're so dramatic, you idiot. Nothing's your fault."
"But-"
"You know what? I'm sure I would feel a lot better if you stopped blaming yourself," Eren told him with a joking scowl.
Levi didn't smile. He looked down at their hands and took a deep breath. His eyebrows furrowed and he was serious again.
"I'm angry myself, trust me," Eren said. "I'm just too tired to actually get angry."
The man's face relaxed and reached out to stroke the boy's face tenderly. "It's a little late to say this but, congratulations on winning."
Eren winced. "Thanks."
"I'm really proud of you and it it makes you feel any better, I reported those two morons to the police for assault. Apparently you were kicked not just on your arms and hands, but your torso too. Maybe you just didn't notice."
"What's going to happen to me?"
Levi looked resentful as he spoke. "It will take a while for the bones in your hands to heal. A lot of fractures, at least one in each finger. They say it could take months for it to heal, and you need surgery for it. It's nothing too major," Levi said. "You will be able to play piano again. You just need to wait."
"Does my mom know about this?"
Levi flinched and stopped all movement. His eyes were focused on Eren and his breathing was cut short. It was like pausing a movie. Eren inhaled sharply as he watched Levi begin to move again and his eyes were shifting to different areas of the boy's face. He was hesitating and his face grew nervous, which meant he was about to tell really bad and intriguing news.
"About that...your mom..." he trailed off, leaning in closer and murmuring quietly so only the two of them could hear. Like it was their little secret. A horrible one. "Never mind. I'll tell you later."
"Come on. Tell me. I'm used to hearing bad news. Did she get even more sick?" Eren asked, bracing himself mentally as he watched the man's face closely and studied it.
"She's not sick," Levi muttered and shook his head.
"What do you mean? Cancer can't go away so easily," Eren said, dumbfounded.
"Eren, she passed away. She died yesterday around eight o'clock, the time when you were playing Chopin," Levi delivered, his tone of voice growing louder and louder like a crescendo.
Eren's hands fell limp into his lap as Levi looked at him with regret and his heart felt cold and empty. He sucked in his breath as his head fell facing the small lumps and hills of the white covers of the bed. He felt like he was falling, his heart in his throat and his stomach bouncing inside his system. It was like hearing that the world was going to end, the sun was dying or that love was non existent. It was all bad news meshed into one chaotic and depressing situation. He went still and he heard his breathing quickening and stop repeatedly like a broken record. Eren was sniffling as small droplets of tears fell into his wrapped hands, leaving splotches of moistness. His world grew dark, very dark and he himself was dying. He was dying inside because he was so sad.
"Eren," Levi spoke.
He said nothing and the room was quiet for a moment as the sounds of birds and rustling leaves went through the bright window pane.
"Eren," he repeated again. "Eren, please look at me."
Levi seized the boy's face and forced him to look at him. Eren's face was streaked with silent tears. He didn't look sad, he was a statue who had water splashed onto his eyes. That's who he was now.
"Eren."
Levi's face was just in front of his now, their noses brushes against each other and his black bangs caressed Eren's temple, and that was when the gap between them closed and their lips met. It was probably him just trying to distract Eren from what was really happening, and he didn't even make an attempt to stop him; he needed all the distractions he could get. It started as a small and chaste peck, but Eren thought otherwise and kissed him harder. Levi could feel the warm tears press against his own face as Eren wrapped his arms around his neck and brought them even closer.
"Make me forget," Eren whispered as their mouths meshed perfectly together.
"I'm trying," Levi said through gritted teeth.
The man was technically straddling him now, each leg on either side of Eren and his angry kisses matching up to Eren's sad ones in harmony, and their heavy breathing filled the room. Levi tried to pull away because he knew doing such a thing at that moment was wrong, but Eren kept pulling him closer and closer. Eren's mouth tasted of oranges and lemon when Levi parted his mouth. He wasn't making out with the teen, he was making out with the inner sadness of the boy and he could feel it inside the core of his very soul. Levi's breath hitched in his throat when he felt Eren's wrapped hands (it gave a really bizarre sensation) snake up his shirt, caressing the smooth valley of skin there.
"Eren," he hissed. "You need to stop."
He didn't listen and he was dominating now. His lips dragged their way to the man's neck and bit the skin hard as his hands went higher and higher. Levi didn't have the heart to push him away.
"Eren, stop. Please." He was definitely aroused, and he didn't want it to lead to anything else.
The boy broke away and looked up at him as his grip on Levi's torso tightened. Levi raised an eyebrow as he looked down at Eren's glistening tears. He was still crying and Levi didn't think those tears were ever going to stop streaming down that sad face of his.
"You'll stay with me, right?"
"Of course I will, you fool," Levi said in a low voice.
"No matter how broken I may be? No matter how batshit crazy I'll be? You will love me? Levi, tell me, do you think I'll be okay?"
He knew the answer to that. He would be okay, maybe it would take a while but he would be fine eventually. There was still so many things he had to tell him and inform him about. What Mikasa said over the phone when she told him about their mother's death, or where their dad was. What was going to happen to the stupid trip to England and what would happen to his attackers. There was a pile of things he had to explain to him.
Levi didn't answer his last question. "I love you, you idiot, and you're not going to go crazy."
Uncertainty was laced in his smooth voice.
AN:
i didn't think you guys would have such a big reaction to eren breaking his hands gEEZ
i felt really bad, so i updated this fic early and threw a kiss scene in there. forgive me q.q
and some news, i'm thinking of writing some noiao and kagehina after this fic ends. not long fics though (my fics are 30+ chapters oops)
anyways, thanks for reading! leave vote and comment if you want and please remember that i love you all <3
~your best friend takeshi