Louis Tomlinson
"You're out of your mind," Niall was nearly yelling as we were putting up boxes in the flat that evening.
"Tell us what other option we have," Zayn said back before looking at Harry, "but you're not going alone. He isn't stupid, Harry. Do you think he'll expect you to show up alone?"
"Isn't that kinda the point?" Harry asked, "make him think I'm alone?"
"No," I said quickly, "you're not doing it without us... you won't go anywhere near him alone... Harry, there's no telling what he'll do to you..."
"How else are we going to do this?" Harry asked me, "I'd love to know, Lou. Just call him up and tell him a few of us want to beat the shit out of him?"
I stayed quiet and took a box up to our room, sitting it down on the unmade bed.
"What do you suggest?" Harry spoke up from the doorway, "wait until he does something first?"
"Harry, he's gonna know something is up the second you text him," I looked back at him, "you know he suspects you to."
Harry nodded a little, "wonder if he suspects me to just show up at his flat one night... say, after a class?"
"You... you can't kill him in that building," I said seriously, "they'd take us all in."
"Then, what?" He asked, "tell me a reasonable plan here..."
"There's not a reasonable plan for killing someone," I spoke over him. "Alright? We kill him, we either die or we end up in jail..."
"So, I'm supposed to pretend like he didn't kill Jeff," Harry nodded at me, "I... I can't do that. And if he's planning to come for either of us, Lou, I will kill him. I'm not playing."
I stared back at him, knowing how much he meant that now, "you actually want him dead, don't you?"
Harry stayed still for a moment, then finally nodded, "I do... and I want to do this the easiest way to keep it off of us."
"How... how do we?" I asked. "Gloves and stuff, yeah, but he's a respected professor at London University... his death is going to be fucking suspicious."
"I know," Harry replied slowly, "but... I think he deserves it, Lou."
I shook my head slowly, knowing that I agreed with him... but the fact that we were planning this... I couldn't believe it had come to this. What if Harry, or any of us, went to prison?
I got that Harry wanted revenge for what happened to Jeff; that made perfect sense. But I knew also how much Harry never wanted to hurt anyone... it was rather shocking for him to be this way. It wasn't who he normally was.
And maybe he had finally reached that point where he really didn't care if Darren died... because he knew if he died, then his own troubled mind would die with him. And he would finally feel a lot freer.
"I think you should think this through more," I finally told him. "Alright?"
Harry didn't say anything. He started hanging up clothes and I hated the tension.
"Harry, I know you're angry," I started.
"Of course I'm fucking angry," he almost yelled, "he's gotten away with all of this, Lou... I just... I can't help but feel like he deserves some sort of justice."
"Harry," I started quietly, "I'm sorry... I am. But acting out of anger isn't going to get you anywhere... it could be a really bad thing..."
"You'd know," he nodded, "tell me... if you and Zayn can go and meet him, why can't I? Are you worried he'll kill me, or just take advantage of me? Which one is it?"
I stared down at my hands, biting my lip gently. I didn't know how to answer that.
"It's different now, Harry," I started again, "he isn't texting you, but he is watching you... don't you think that's odd? If you go to him, you could possibly never come home."
Harry stayed still, his eyes on the floor. I knew how upset he was... I could read it on his face.
I saw him change from the gentle soul he always was to a soul that showed every scar and heartbreaking pain he had gone through... he was showing me his darkest side.
It was a little scary, to be honest. I had never seen him this way. I understood why he was; Darren had destroyed not only him but Jeff, too... he was fighting a battle in his head. I knew he was. He was stuck between going there right away and killing Darren, or staying here and waiting it out.
"Maybe you should take your meds," I told him slowly.
He breathed a heavy sigh and picked them up. I watched him chew one and toss the pills back on the bed.
"This is an odd side, Styles," I told him.
He looked back at me, still not smiling, "I've just... I'm sorry."
He hurried out of the room and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
Zayn stood in the doorway looking at me, "you don't think he should do it, right?"
"No, I don't," I said, "Zayn, he expects this shit... you can't tell me he doesn't."
Zayn crossed his arms, "so, what does Harry do then? Continue to hide? Continue to be stalked by him until one day he never comes back?"
I stared at him, knowing he was right. "There has to be another way... Zayn, he can't go to jail."
"He won't," Zayn replied slowly, "I will, before he does. I promise."
I looked back at him in disbelief, "you're gonna take the heat for this, aren't you?"
Zayn stayed quiet, looking down the hall.
"You... you can't do that," I told him, "you can't go to prison for him..."
"And Harry can't spend the rest of his life this way," Zayn said back immediately, "not when he has a life to look forward to."
"Zayn," I started.
He put his hand up, "don't. Look, if he does this, just know he won't be charged, alright?"
I stayed quiet again as I heard Harry coming back from the bathroom, sniffing again.
"Hey," Zayn started, causing Harry to turn to him, "are you sure you wanna do that? We can find another way..."
Harry's face stayed serious, "I'm positive."
Zayn nodded a little and walked out while I turned back to Harry, "how are you going to do this?"
Harry glanced back at me, "simple. Act."
"But he expects you to come to him," I sighed again, "don't you get that? He could possibly kill you."
"Yeah, funny thing is, I have a key," he started, "and I also know where every gun is. So, if I'm there before he is, I suppose it'd be different."
"You're going to be able to pull the trigger on him?" I asked seriously.
Harry bit his lip and sat down on the bed, "I... I don't know. Right now, yes, I could. And I wouldn't think twice about doing it... even if I went to jail."
"Harry," I started, "really, there has to be another way... why can't the other guys do it? Why can't they do this and you not get involved."
"Because I am involved," he glanced back, "and maybe I'm not going to kill him... maybe I just want to have a 'chat' with him."
"So, basically, you're the bait," I said quietly, "this is fucking shit, Harry..."
"Do you know a better way?" He asked quietly.
"And what if he doesn't want to chat?" I asked him, "what if he suspects this? Somehow?"
"Then, I guess I do have a death wish," he mumbled a little.
I stood there staring down at him wondering where this side was coming from. It was scary, to put it simply.
"You're willing to go risk your life," I said quietly, "Harry... I don't... I can't let you do that."
"Lou," he stood up slowly, "you can't stop me either. And I don't mean that disrespectful... you can ask me to stay, but... I'm capable of making this decision, alright?"
"No!" I shouted at him, "you're not doing it."
Harry sighed a little, "I'm not afraid of him, alright? Not anymore... I can do this."
"No... you... Harry," I tried to stutter.
"Lou, look, eventually I deserve some revenge, right?" He almost smirked at me.
"If you go, I'll call the police," I said seriously.
Harry's face changed, "why?"
"Because I don't think this is a good fucking idea," I almost yelled. "And... I really don't think you are thinking this through..."
"What if I don't kill him?" He asked.
"Will you please... just think this through," I said, "I... I don't want to lose you... and this is just stupid."
Harry sighed, "fine... I guess."
"Harry," I started, "I know you're fucking angry... but if you kill him, or anyone else for that matter, how is it not going to turn on us?"
"His guys won't go to the police over it," Harry almost smirked, "really? They have a warehouse full of drugs, Lou."
"They what?" I asked. "Why... why not just tell the police where it is, then?"
"Oh, so it can come back to me, too?" Harry asked, "really? Remember what happened this past time? If I give their location away... Louis, they'll fucking kill me... "
"He already wants to kill you, remember?" I said sarcastically, "we can easily send in an anonymous tip..."
"No," Harry said back immediately, "are you really looking for trouble here, Lou?"
"No," I sighed and sat down again, "God... I'm just... exhausted... and this shit..."
"I'm sorry," Harry spoke softer as he sat down, "I got carried away, I know... but Lou, what do we do?"
"I don't know," I said back slowly, "I'm ready to run away to Doncaster, Harry.... and just rent a flat there... to take us both away."
Harry finally smiled again, "is that what you want? Really?"
"Maybe," I shrugged a little, "it'd be nice... and we could always drive down to your mum's and see her as well."
"Why don't we?" He asked still smiling.
"What?" I laughed, "we'd need jobs.. I mean, my school money isn't going to last much longer."
"I still have enough," he replied slowly.
"How much is enough?" I asked curiously.
"Eh," he shook his hand back and forth, "maybe somewhere around like £6000 in cash... somewhere in there."
"What?" I asked surprised, "how the hell..."
"I made a lot," he replied keeping his eyes on me, "I saved a lot of it... I have more in an account I don't touch."
"Are you fucking serous?" I asked, "why am I just finding this out?"
Harry smirked, "I don't know... never thought it was important. It's just money."
"You're right, but damn," I laughed as he just smiled even more, "would you really like Doncaster?"
"I think it'd be perfect," he started, running his finger over his lip, "it's gorgeous, really. Has a very homey feel to it... sorta like Holmes Chapel."
"Yeah, suppose you're right," I smiled at him, "what kind of jobs would we have?"
"We could always find work after getting there," he grinned, "a nice, small flat on one of those streets where everyone's drives are, like connected, to each other?"
I couldn't help but laugh at him. He was truly adorable.
"And we'd have, like a set of stairs up to the rooms... one for us and then one for maybe a baby one day," Harry spoke a little quieter, looking down at his hands.
"Kids," I managed to say while my face was probably glowing, "you want kids with me?"
Harry glanced back, "yeah, I... I kinda do... I want all of this to go away so that we can have that."
"I... I want that, too," I managed to say, before smiling, "you know... I had a dream about our wedding, which I told you..."
"Yeah," Harry nodded a little and smiled.
"Yeah, it was amazing afterwards, too," I said.
"What?" He laughed, "we had sex somewhere after the wedding? Do tell."
"It wasn't sex," I replied, "you're so dirty, Harold, all the fucking time."
"You made it sound that way," Harry grinned back at me, "so, what was it?"
"The rain," I answered him, a small grin coming over my face, "you and I... standing in the rain."
Harry's face lit up, "really?"
"Really," I nodded a little, "funny how that was in my dream, right?"
"Right," he whispered as he stared at me, "Lou, you know I'm not scared to go help someone do this... I'm not. But I... I know I couldn't do it."
"That sounds like the Harry I know," I said softly, "but... Harry, even if you go to help... he's still going to die... can you live with that?"
Harry stared back at his hands, "no.... I don't think I could live with that."
I nodded, "so, you get that this is an idiotic thing to do."
"Yeah," he whispered back, "I just... I want it all to go away... because I feel like I'm anticipating a future that I so desperately want... but it's being stopped by this..."
"I get that," I said, "and it's alright, love. It'll turn out fine... and we'll have a flat in Doncaster... with kids. Jesus, did I just say that?"
"Jesus heard you say it, yes," Harry nodded, "so, you're gonna keep that promise to Jesus."
I laughed a little as I stared at him, "it's funny how different your 2 sides are..."
Harry looked at me confused.
"Well, you've got the side where you're just an arse and shut out everything... but then you have this side, the side that craves commitment with someone," I stated.
Harry smiled a little, looking down, "I... I was never one for, like, being tied down, to anyone. But, yeah, I think that's changed."
"I couldn't tell," I smirked at him as he grinned beautifully, "so..."
Harry sat up some, "so...."
"What's the plans for Christmas?" I asked him grinning from ear to ear.
"We haven't discussed it yet," he laughed a little, "why?"
"Just curious... I wanted to spend my birthday there," I said softly, "with you... I made mum buy Scrabble."
"You did what?" Harry asked through wide eyes, "you didn't."
"I did," I chuckled, "uh, yeah, told her how much you liked it."
Harry's dimples deepened, "wow... you're incredible, you know. That's amazing. Thank you."
"So, will you go?"
Harry brushed my cheek with his finger, "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Lou. Can't wait to meet the rest of your family."
"Oh, Jesus," I groaned into the mattress, Harry chuckling beside me.
"They can't be that bad."
"They're pretty fucking terrible," I said back, "you'll see."
"Are... are we exchanging gifts?" He asked me with a smile. I glanced back at him and he smirked, "what? You were looking at my rings pretty hard in the cab..."
I couldn't help but laugh, "uh, yeah... I'm getting you something. You don't have to get me..."
"Oh, shut it," he interrupted, "you know I'm getting you something... probably from Saint Laurent."
"You wouldn't dare," I pointed at him.
Harry chuckled a little and glanced out the balcony doors, "I wanna know how this ends... even if I don't help."
I looked back up at him, watching his eyes staring off, "it's going to end well... I promise."
Harry glanced back at me, trying to smile as Niall called from the kitchen.
"I think Harry should cook the first meal!"
"Oh, Jesus, I'm being summoned," Harry nearly groaned as he got up slowly. "Want to help me cook, Lou?"
"Well, I might burn something," I winked at him before following him back to the kitchen, "the place looks great with the furniture."
"Yeah, we should thank Niall's parents," he smirked and went through the fridge, "Jesus, I thought you guys would've gotten more food."
Zayn was seated on his phone, his calm facade seemed to have disappeared.
"What's up?" I asked him quietly.
Zayn looked back at me, "they... they already left for Darren's."
Harry turned around, staring at both of us. He immediately went over to Zayn, "keys, now."