The second before last show of this three month tour. Well, Carolyn has grown in length and a few tiny teeth have grown in. She can say more words clearly. There's our seven month old daughter, Carolyn Alesana Mora.
CC kissed my bare shoulder, "Wake up, darling."
"Five more minutes," I said into the pillow.
He chuckled, "Alright. Five more minutes. Then I will come back and wake you up." He got out of the bunk.
I frowned. I haven't gotten any sleep lately because I tended to Carolyn. So does CC, but he's never as tired as me. Which is very strange, considering he does more work than I do. I just laid there, trying to close my eyes and go back to sleep, but I couldn't, because I already saw the light from the window.
Then the bunk curtain was torn open again. I groaned.
Then I rolled over to Andy staring at me, smiling. I frowned, "Sh*t."
He chuckled and said, "Come on, sleepyhead."
He reached into the bunk. I started hitting his arms and hands. But that didn't stop him. He picked me up and ran out of the bunk area. Then Jake started laughing and he said, "Take her to Dante!"
I yelled, "No!"
"TO DANTE PHOENIX!" Andy yelled.
He ran to the PMB bus to Dante's bunk. He dropped me on Dante. Dante woke up with a start, "OW!" He yelled.
I frowned and started running after Andy, who was now running back to the BVB bus.
I caught him before he could touch the bus door again. I jumped onto his back.
He laughed, "That woke you up, huh?"
"I hate you."
"I love you too," he said.
I kissed his cheek and got off his back. I went inside and there was CC, laying on one side of the couch on his side. I sat in front of him. He rubbed my back. "Good morning, love," he said.
I smiled, "Good morning."
He then rubbed my shoulder, where I have his signature tattooed on me. I turned to him and said, "Tired?"
He shook his head, "Naw. Just relaxing."
"Mkay," I said, "Wait, where's Carolyn?"
"Ash and Rosie are back there in the lounge with her."
"Okay."
I laid next to him, cuddling, and said, "I'm so tired."
He chuckled, "Still?"
I nodded.
"How much sleep have you been getting?"
"Barely even three hours these past two months," I said.
He raised his eyebrows, "Wow. You need to catch up on sleep love. You'll end up passing out or something later."
I shook my head, "And miss you perform? And if I do catch up on sleep, I won't be able to watch Carolyn while you boys perform."
He frowned, "I think you not passing out because of sleep deprivation is more important to me than missing one show of ours."
I frowned in response. He tapped my nose, "Smile. Take a nap. We're not going anywhere."
"Eurgh," I said, "Fine."
He smiled triumphantly, "Good."
I stood up and went to our bunk and climbed into it. I pulled the blanket up, laid my head on the pillow, and fell straight asleep.
The next time I woke up, it was almost light outside, and the scenery was moving quickly. On the move to the last show. Hollywood, here we come.
Then I felt moving next to me, and almost forgot about my lovely company. I wrapped my arm around CC's waist and rested my head against his back. I just kept my eyes closed until he moved again. Which was about an hour later. He rolled over and faced me, still asleep. He looked like an angel. I could not get over how adorable he looked when he was sleeping.
Then I spent about another half hour staring at his soft, sleeping expression, until he scrunched up his nose and his eyes slowly started to open. I smiled at him. Then he smiled and said, "Now you're up. I've been waiting to kiss those lips."
"You haven't yet," I said.
"I will..In 5, 4, 3, eh forget it." He kissed me as we laid there in the morning sun coming through the bunk window.
When we parted, he gently bit my lip and let it go. I smiled, "Out of the one and a half years we've been together, you try that on me now? I like that, babe."
He grinned, "Good."
I kissed him one more time then laid my head on his chest. He just hugged my waist and we laid there, silent. Then we heard silent talking in the bunk above us, Ash and Rosie.
CC banged his fist above him and Ash whisper-yelled, "Stop banging!"
CC chuckled. Then we laid there next to each other, facing each other and looking each other in the eyes, our faces barely three inches apart. I pulled out my phone from under my pillow and faced it at us, he smiled at me and I smiled back and took the picture. I looked at it and edited it, making it black and white. It looked so cute. It was now my phone wallpaper. He said, "Send it to me, love."
I giggled, "Mkay."
Then he said, "So, love, while you were asleep, Andy told us we were to have paparazzi soon. And we are going back on tour in the UK."
"Paparazzi?"
"From what John told Andy. I honestly have no clue, it's some rock gossip magazines that just came out."
"Well, rock gossip magazines? Personally, that's pretty stupid. What has the world turned to?! And the UK..." I said slowly.
He grimaced, "I don't want to leave you and Carolyn."
"I know, love, but you make your living off of this. You love your fans too. BVB is important. I honestly understand," I said.
"But, but, I just wish you could come with us but I know you can't and honestly that makes me want to sneak you both into my suitcase and bring you with me."
I giggled, "It wouldn't look right. But it's the tour. I have October with me."
"The tour is four months," he said.
My jaw dropped, "But that's so long!"
"You survived the month I was in the UK," he pointed out.
"A month. Four months. See the difference?" I asked.
He frowned, "You're making me feel bad."
"Don't. I know your fans are important and especially the UK ones since you barely see them."
He said, "It will go by fast. I promise you that. The tour starts a week after Carolyn's birthday in five months."
I smiled, "Good thing you're not missing Carolyn's birthday."
He nodded, smiling. "Yup."
I kissed him and said, "Paparazzi."
He frowned in disgust, "I don't want them up in our business, following us around."
I nodded. "Agreed."
"But I guess it's happening, so just let it be, I guess."
"Don't let them ruin anything we have. Don't believe anything they put in their damn magazines," I told him.
"I know, I won't believe their crap," he said, "Oh, and there's a party tonight at our house after tonight's show."
"You got loads of news."
"Not anymore," he said.
I chuckled.
Then Carolyn started crying. CC rolled over and out of the bunk and picked her up. I got out after him and right when I did, Rosie and Ash came out of their bunk. We were now parked. John was already up and outside.
Then Jinxx came out of the bunk, and once CC stood up with Carolyn in his arms, it all of a sudden felt crowded in this small walking space. Then Rosie jumped on my back and said, "Go, horsey!"
I laughed and said, "Excuse me." To Ash and Jinxx then ran to the lounge. I laid back on the couch with Rosie on my back. She started laughing, "Alesanaaaaa! I can't breathe!"
I got off of her and sat next to her instead. She sat up and laughed again, "You're my best friend for that plus many other reasons."
"I remember the day we met," I said, smiling at the memory.
"YES! That was the greatest day of my life!"
I laughed. Then she said, "Well, other than meeting Ash and getting engaged to him."
I smiled, "You two are adorable together. So photogenic." I winked.
She smiled and gasped. "You saw all of my phone pictures?"
"Yup, because I thought it was mine at first, then I saw it wasn't mine. But I kept looking."
"Don't think I don't look through yours either."
"So we're even." I said.
She stuck out her tongue.
I giggled, "Silly best friend."
Then CC walked in with Carolyn waddling in front of him. I stood up and picked Carolyn up, "Hi darlin'! Can I have a hug?"
She hugged me around my neck. I smiled, "So sweet."
I put her down and she climbed onto the couch. I hugged CC's waist and he kissed my head.
I said, "Last show and we will be home."
"We are allowed to go home right now since we are in Hollywood. We don't have to stay in this bus."
"Well, in that case, I will go home and take a shower," I said.
"I'll go too," he said, "We better take Carolyn."
I nodded and said, "Is our house within walking distance?"
"Yup. Just three blocks," he said.
"Alright. I will get our things ready and we'll go."
"Alright."
We got all of our things ready and told the guys where we were going and we were off to our house. We got back to the house and CC sat with Carolyn in her nursery and played with her for a little bit while I showered quickly. When I got out, I changed into a black strapless corset and my dark blue jeans. I then got on my favorite black studded ankle length boots. Then I brushed out my hair and put on mascara then walked to the nursery and told CC, "I'm done. Your turn."
He grinned, "You look sexy."
I blushed.
He stood up and walked to the bedroom and into the bathroom. The shower started up again. I played with Carolyn and in about ten minutes, I remembered that I left my phone in the bathroom. I stood up and went to the bedroom. Right when I touched the doorknob, CC opened the door. He was holding a towel around his waist.
We are so close, I thought. Too good of an opporitunity to pass up. We just stood there, staring at each other, until CC kissed me. My hands went to the back of his neck as we stood there kissing. Then CC held my waist. Then I heard a really quiet thump.
We were getting into this. "Chris," I said in between the long kiss.
He kept kissing me and said, "Huh?"
"Uh.. Towel. Fell." I said in between kisses.
He then parted from me and muttered, "Sh*t." He bent down and picked up his towel and went to the closet quickly. I chuckled and grabbed my phone from the bathroom and went quickly past CC to the nursery.
I sat with Carolyn, singing ABC's with her. Then my phone started ringing, I looked at it, the caller ID was unknown.
I picked up anyway, "Hello?"
"Alesana."
"Who is this?"
"Take a guess."
I then recognized the voice. My ex. My phone almost slipped out of my hands. Then the cut on my stomach started burning as I thought of what happened at the beginning of tour. "What do you want?"
"I wanted to apologize for how I acted that night," he said.
"Really? You think an apology can erase all that happened in the history of our relationship?"
"I'm hoping it can. I was completely drunk and out of line and I regret all that I did to you."
"I honestly don't believe you."
"Well what will make you believe?"
"Just don't even try. I'm tired of your bull crap."
"Please, Alesana. I loved you and still do."
The tears started coming. "Do you know what pain you put me through? Both emotionally and physically?"
"Yes. I do know now and I am completely sorry."
"I almost took my own life because of the pain you caused me. You almost killed me because of what you did. I can't forgive you."
"Come on, A. I'm sorry and I take back everything I've done."
"No. You can't take it back. The cuts, the bruises, the beatings, the insults, the names, the wost two years of my life. It's nothing you can take back. It's nothing you can apologize for."
Then I heard footsteps. I turned around. It was CC. He was looking at me, curious.
Then my ex said, "But I love you. I want you back here with me."
"No. You just don't understand. I'm married and have a beautiful little girl. He has given me his all. I love everything about him. What have you given me? A reason to use a razor on my wrists every other night, bruises the size of Texas, cuts, almost death. I will not put up with it ever again."
"Alesana..."
"Don't. Say. My. Name."
"But.."
"I'm done with your crap."
CC grabbed the phone out of my hand and walked out to the living room and started yelling over the phone at him.
I wiped the tears away and picked up Carolyn and set her on the changing table and changed her diaper and put her into a pretty pink sparkly dress and some white sandals. I brushed her hair back into a tiny ponytail and picked her back up. I kissed her head and took in the clean smell of our baby.
Then CC walked in and handed me the phone. I took it and put it back in my back pocket.
"Put her down for a second," he said gently.
I put Carolyn down on the floor gently.
He then took me in a tight hug. Then the tears started coming out again.
"It's okay. Let it out, love."
"I j-just wish I could've d-done over the th-things I have done and n-never have met him at all."
He rubbed my back soothingly and said, "You're still here though. You have a husband who loves you unconditionally, a beautiful baby girl, beyond awesome friends, and you have your life to live."
I buried my face in his chest and said, "I love you so much."
"I love you more. You never will see that douche again," he said in my ear.
Then Carolyn was at our feet, reaching up at us. CC bent down and picked her up and we had a group hug.
"Ready to head back?" I asked.
He nodded, "I put my warpaint on in the bus before the show."
"I know your ritual."
He smiled. Then Carolyn went back into my arms. Then we walked back to the venue."
Andy, October, and Jake were awake now. I hugged the three of them.
I sat with Carolyn on the lounge couch. She sat on my lap and we watched Lion King.
Then Andy sat next to us and said, "Tonight I'm proposing to October."
"How?"
"On stage. I will call her up on stage, tell her how much I love her and why, and what I thought when we first met, then I'm asking the important question right then."
"Aww! How sweet!"
He smiled, "Really?"
I nodded, smiling. "It's so sweet! I'm so happy for you! The ring is beautiful too! She'll love it."
He smiled then said, "Oh, and you're going to sing a few songs for our audience tonight."
I frowned and said, "Why? You know I don't like singing in front of crowds."
"Well, we love your voice, and we want you to get over that fear."
I stared at the TV. Andy nudged me and said, "Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? For me? For CC? For Carolyn? For the fans? For me? For Ash? For Rosie? For October? For Jake? For Jinxx? For Sammi? PLEASE?"
I said, "Fine! Now shut up!"
"Yes!"
"What do I sing?"
"Um, whatever you want, really. Just like, three songs."
"Okay. Fine."
"Thank you so much A! I owe you a bunch."
"Yeah."
He got up and Carolyn requested to go with Andy. He took Carolyn into his arms and went outside. I turned the TV off and went through the music on my phone. I will go with You and I by Lady Gaga, Ritual by BVB, and Christina Perri's Jar of Hearts.
I sung them as I was alone and when I was done, I went outside and the guys were just now coming in to get their warpaint on.
Sammi came in behind Jinxx and came and hugged me. Us girls hung out outside as the guys got ready.
Then fans were let into the venue. The lineup started the same as following: Picture Me Broken then Asking Alexandria.
I turned to CC and said, "Well, here I go."
"You'll do great. I know that for sure." He said.
He kissed my forehead then my lips and with that, I turned around and Dante, Jimmy, and Connor from PMB came up with me on stage. I wen't to Brooklyn's keyboard, brought up the microphone, and said, "Hi. I'm Alesana Coma."
Cheering. "For those who don't know who I am, I am married to CC, and I am the merch girl for BVB. And tonight, before BVB comes on, I will sing a few songs, as requested by Andy."
Cheering.
I giggled, "This first song is called You and I by Lady Gaga. I love Lady Gaga, and this song is one of my favorites. Here it goes."
(Insert lyrics.. Haha its midnight, and I'm too lazy to type them off.)
"This time I'm not leavin' without you," I sang one last time. Applauding and screaming and cheering.
"Well, I have one more song left since that ran just a bit longer than expected. This song is called Black Ink Revenge. I have been in a horrible relationship before, and then got cheated on, so this song really just speaks to me in ways. Remember, no matter what anyone says, you're beautiful. If you don't believe it, take a look in the mirror and think that there's only one you. You're all here for a reason. Someone loves you. And if they break your heart, they don't know what they had just given up. No matter what anyone else says, you were born this way and you're beautiful and worth a lot to someone here. Always follow your dreams. Now to sing the song, ha ha."
(Insert lyrics. Too lazy to look 'em up. ;])
A whole bunch of applauding and cheering. I wiped a tear off my cheek and smiled. "Thank you all. I love the BVB army. Now who's ready for Black Veil Brides?!"
There came a lot of screaming. I laughed and looked over at the guys backstage. Andy winked, so I knew what to do.
"The guys need more energy to come out! I said, WHO IS READY FOR BLACK VEIL BRIDES?!"
More screaming. CC ran behind me to the drums. A lot of screaming. Then here came Jinxx. Then Jake. Then Ash. Then Andy. I ran off stage and they started their set.
I had to go back to the bus and check on Carolyn. She was asleep in her bunk.
I grabbed a dry towel and wiped off sweat. I checked how I looked, and my face was natural looking, my clothes still looking fine. My hair was still natural looking too. "Thank the lord," I muttered.
I updated my twitter: Just finished singing on stage here in Hollywood. @AndyBVB made me. I love all of your support. I had a great time. :) <3
Now what to do to pass the time. I'm alone in here now with Carolyn. Hm. I went to the lounge and started up Bridesmaids, my favorite movie. I remember when Andy wouldn't see it because it wasn't actually about BVB fans.
I watched it up until a half hour in, and the guys walked in. CC ran and jumped on me.
I laughed, "Ewww you're sweaty."
"I thought you were used to it!" He said.
I laughed again, "I am." I hugged him tight.
Then Andy laughed and said, "PILE!" He jumped on CC and we became a pile of bodies. Then once things were packed and October and Rosie were in as well, the bus driver dropped us off at our house.
AA and PMB met us there. I took Carolyn out of her bunk and took her into the house and put her in her crib. CC and I brought in our suitcases and put them in our room. Then the party consisted of some being completely wasted, while Jinxx and Sammi left early to head back home because they wanted to spend time with each other, Jake talked on the phone with Crystal, Andy and October got unusually drunk, the guys of AA were drunk, while Austin, Dante, and Jimmy were drunk. While Connor, Brooklyn, CC and I were sober. Rosie and Ash were a tad bit drunk, making out somewhere in the house.
The party ended about 2AM. Andy and October slowly made their way to their room and PMB and AA gave their goodbyes and got on their buses to head back home. Jake, Rosie, and Ash took the bus back home. CC and I sleepily walked back to our room. CC wiped off all makeup and got into just his boxers and got into bed. I stayed in my underwear and put on a Guns'N'Roses shirt then got into bed.
We relaxed and settled into the bed. The bed felt huge since we spent 3 months in a small bunk. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I scooted closer to him. Then we fell asleep, just like that. Dreaming. Loving. Cuddling. Warming. Close. The way I loved it.
That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh. I like it. Ha ha.
Tomorrow is going to be a great day. Time with my boo.
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Started this at 10 this morning, finished at 12:50 AM, with 7 hours I wasn't even on too. Finally, this chapter is finished. I know I don't have much going on here, but I am so tired and wanted to get this done. Next chapter will be a whole lot better though. I promise that. :)
Hope you love it. I work on this every day and I enjoy it, mostly because I have a fantasy in my head as I write it. So my neck is hurting, and I'm watching the Lion King being tired...
So keep becoming fans! Next chapters, I will be dedicating them to people. :D
Keep reaaading. Keep writing. <3