As the rain poured on a cool New York night the one fifth avenue apartment was virtually silent aside from the television in the living room humming steadily as the sounds of bombshells and screaming women echoed from it. The couch had been placed in front of the t.v and two bodies sat resting their backs against it. Shadows danced along the floor and up the walls in the soft orange hues, brightening and dimming with each scene.
"Take a good look my dear. It's an historic moment you can tell your grandchildren about - how you watched the Old South fall one night." Clark Gable's voice resonated threw the commotion. 'Gone With the Wind' had been playing for a little over an hour and a half, the first act in full climax and only a short wile remained until intermission.
Take out food containers were spread about the floor, casting shadows against the white carpet between the two people. One of them focused entirely on the film being played in front of her. Almost as if she was hypnotized by it all together. Her blonde hair curtaining her face on either side as she steadily scooped noodles into her mouth with a pair of chopsticks. The white box in her hand resting in front of her, about a foot above her crossed legs. She was dressed comfortably in a pair of black leggings and a white t-shirt, her bare feet completing her lax state.
The other of the two was transfixed on her rather than the film. He watched the side of her face as he sat no more than two feet away from her. His legs outstretched in front of him and crossed at the ankles. His worn blue jeans, and t- shirt visible every now and then when a bright light shown from the screen.
The woman was so transfixed by the story laid out in front of her that she paid little to no attention to the man to her right. She blocked him out almost entirely and was clueless to his admiring stare. The two sat in silence their positions unchanged for the better part of the film and they seen no reason to change now. The woman enjoying her view and the man his.
***
I couldn't help but stare into the dazzling hazel eyes hidden behind her carefully placed mascara. She glanced over at me and I quickly looked away; my heart aching as soon as I had. I cleared my throat trying to play it off. I was totally paying attention to the movie. My eyes danced across the screen trying to make sense out of the images, nothing was sparking any interest. It was just, all her.
After a few moments of staring into the screen, with nothing to really watch. I had no clue what was going on here. My heart sank as I noticing the silence between us grow painfully thick with tension, mostly from myself. I glanced back at her figuring it was safe and she had forgotten my looking at her.
She was lost once again in the film and I was lost in her. All on my own I could paint a picture in my mind. If only I was any good at art. I would paint her in blues, water droplets cascading her perfect skin, much like the cold windows in the dark. The difference is her heart, warm and overflowing with love, her stone face, shadowed with beauty and control, her smile, shallow and innocent. Yet beneath it all I see much more, a heart that is broken, a face of stone to hide her pain and longing, but her smile; her smile is true. Her smile would give her away a thousand times over, it displays her true depth, her pure heart , her pure innocence.
As I watched her in her daze I couldn't help my daydreams running rampant threw my head. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. Taking a double take she looked back completely at me, her eyebrow raised ever so slightly in confusion.
"Oh did you want this?" she said shoveling another set of noodles into her mouth. A small drop of sauce lingered on her chin. I wanted to smile as my insides exploded with pure love for this beautiful creature in front of me. I shook my head a slight chuckle escaping with my response.
"No, no you're okay." I couldn't tell if she noticed but I inched a little closer to her soft skin. The urge to just reach out and touch her was growing unbearably strong.
"Then why are you staring at me?" she smiled slightly, tugging at the noodles in the to-go container. The way her lips curved up at the edges sent chills shivering down my spine.
"I wasn't staring, I swear." another small chuckle escaped my throat as I tried to hide my enchantment. She laughed at me, a high pitched snicker, almost as if to mock me. She turned to the movie again but for only a moment.
"You know." she breathed before looking back at me. Her eyes locked with mine, and I couldn't help but see threw her hazel pools gathering light from the on cast shadows. She held my in her gaze bringing me into her light, her view. I shifted my body on the floor to more directly face her. I leaned on my left elbow, bringing my right leg to a peek at the knee, and resting my right elbow upon it. I smiled at her lovingly and in good humor.
"Its impolite to stare." she continued. "And to top that its extremely impolite to lie."
I laughed at how cute she was. Somehow putting me in my place was made a game, and I wanted to be wrong just so she could tell me so. Her sweet smirk and narrowing eyes only drew me closer to her and I was stuck. Her scolding and correction where only incentive for me to continue, and somehow knowing she would put me in my place made it okay to be wrong; even when I knew I could be right.
I scooted closer to her as her eyes darted between mine. She took a sharp breath as I lingered only inches from her perfect face. Raising my hand I wiped at the residue on her soft chin.
"You ah- have a little something there." I whispered as I wiped it away and cupped her sharp jaw in my right palm. She looked down at me her face blank and her mouth hanging open only slightly. I watched her closely in the shadows, her face illuminated by the on cast screen. She remained still and I moved closer seeking her soft pink lips with my own. I could feel her hot breath falling fast against my face as her heart, undoubtedly, raced in her chest. Her chest rose under her t-shirt with each gust and fell as she quivered to take another breath. Being so close to her made my heart race and I wanted to smile.
"I- uh- have to use the restroom." she whispered before my lips reached hers. I stopped my forward movement and looked once again to her eyes. She swallowed harshly and licked her lips with the tip of her tongue pulling her bottom one between her teeth as she finished.
I moved away clearing my throat as I sat up and replaced my forearm to rest on my knee. I whipped my own mouth even though it was clean, and stared into the screen. The bold white letters reading intermission caught my view and I was hesitate to look back to my left.
She stood from the floor catching my attention and I glanced over to see her standing over me. Her hands glided nervously down her stomach and over her hips. She turned her head from side to side seeming to stretch out her body. I watched as she turned and moved down the dark hallway to the bathroom. Her hand grazed the wall, her fingertips gently dusting the at the white surface.
I sat in silence for a long while listening to the steady film score signaling the time to change the tape. I decided however to wait for her to return before starting the second act. To be completely honest she was the only one watching it anyway.
I waited for what seemed like hours to me milling over and over in my mind how I truly felt for her. I thought of the time we had spent together and replayed the nights events. I tried to think of anything I could remember from the film,if only to start casual conversation. What if she doesn't want to talk? What if I don't make her happy the way she makes me? The constant thought that I was wrong ran an endless loop around my brain. Maybe this isn't the right thing for her.
***
His mind raced with ins and out, and the constant doubt he was wrong. He couldn't wait for her return and at the same time he dreaded it. She had only been gone for a minutes but he felt unusual without her. Maybe his nerves where getting to him. His hands began to sweat and longed to feel her soft skin again. He wanted to tell her, he had to tell her, but how was he supposed to tell this woman that she was the most influential thing in his life. The only thing that really ever mattered to him.
They had only truly known each other for a little over a year and they had only been in a serious relationship for six months. Yet beyond it all he couldn't help but feel as if she was the missing piece to his whole. She made him smile and she made him laugh. He loved to see her happy and he hated to see her cry. She had become is first priority only falling behind his daughter. She was his home, which for a man who has a hard time staying in one sate for more than a week, is something to only be wished.
He knew so much about her, her past and her trials. Most of which where public knowledge, but what little she had told him besides the basic only added to his curiosity. He came to find she held much more sorrow than he could have ever dreamed of. Protecting her had become a priority, much less to her own knowledge, and he liked to keep it that way. He loved everything about her and he wanted to keep her happy. He loved the way she smiled and the way she laughed. The way she stared into space lost in her own thought. The way she stood in stone before anyone of importance, and the way she melted in his hand at the most random of times, yet the sweetest of times.
Every possible thing about that woman he loved completely and entirely, but most of all he loved the way she looked when she was asleep at his side. She was always so peaceful, and calm. She seemed the way he wished she could be when she was awake; content.
'I love you' it was that simple. Yet no matter how he worded it in his head it would never be good enough for her. If he told her would she run the other direction. Love was not something she expressed easily or even willingly. Would it ruin the perfect moment they had been sharing all night? How would she react? He thought she felt the same way but still he was uneasy. She had been so brilliantly breath taking. Yet she was what gave him the air to breathe.
He was just going to have to take the chance and risk the fall. Maybe she wouldn't run, and maybe she wouldn't turn him away.
***
The bathroom door closed and I turned to see her walking back in my direction. I smiled to myself, I wanted to stand and move towards her, wrapping her in my arms and just hold her. Deciding not to take to many chances tonight I stayed where I was and waited for her to speak first.
She walked closer to me her body becoming more visible in the light of the television. She was so graceful and beautiful. She sat back down on the floor next to me and let out a long breath. I kept my eyes on her, watching her every move. She sat still for a moment staring into the blank screen I had just abandoned to look at her.
I could see now in the dim light illuminating her face, that her hazel eyes where now red and swollen as if she had been crying. I turned my head slightly in confusion. Had I done something wrong? She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth again before she turned to look at me taking a rushed breath.
Her eyes locked with mine, darting back and forth like she was searching for something to say. I felt my heart crumble in my chest and I couldn't bring myself to tell her, not now. I knew it would only hurt her more if I told her the truth. How could I take this beautiful and vulnerable woman, that I had come to realize I loved, and make her feel insufficient in any way? How could I make her feel any less of herself?
If she didn't feel the same my telling her would only drive her away. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and tell her it would all be okay. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her, even if I couldn't tell her. I hated to see her sweet face so sad, her eyes so full of pain. I only wished I could take that pain away, but I knew I could never make up for everything she has been threw. So I just watched her, staring into her blank face.
"Why do you keep staring at me?" her words were like soft kisses through the air as she whispered, pulling me from my thoughts.
"I cant help it." I admitted. She smiled her bottom lip quivering as she laughed. How could she be so adorably cute all of the time. She was in fact the epitome of innocence. Siting before me her eyes wet with tears but smiling at me all the same.
"I think ill start the second act. If that's alright with you." she didn't move and kept her eyes on mine. "I mean if you aren't to tired."
"If you want I'll sit up with you." In truth I wasn't tired at all, especially after my long and drawn out thought battle with my subconscious.
She stood from the floor, again leaving me to sit alone on the floor. I watched her move to the television pushing buttons. I heard the tape eject from the VCR and she bent over to pick up the next tape, which sat on the floor in front of the wooden entertainment center still in the case. Her legs flexed as her backside was pushed up into the air. Her hair flopped in her face and she stood strait again. She put in the next tape and wiped her hands across her hips letting out a breathe as she moved towards me again.
I moved to sit upright and moved my leg to rest on the floor again. I patted the empty space next to me, signaling for her to sit next to me. She smiled and sat down, sliding closer to me this time. I reached my arm over her head to rest across her shoulder. She leaned up to get more comfortable and I used the advantage to slip my arm lower around her waist. I gripped her hip in my hand and pulled her tighter to me sliding her across the carpet.
She looked up at me and laughed, only letting a huff of air cross her lips. Leaning her head down on my shoulder she took a deep breath and nudged me to get comfortable again. I smiled down at her and cradled her head in my hand as I kissed the top of her blonde hair. I left my lips to linger on her for a moment breathing in her sweet scent. I felt her close her eyes against me and when I released her she re-positioned to rest her head on my chest.
I held he for a long wile feeling her breath against me as she continued to watch the film. I was once again lost in her. The feeling of her body on mine, as I held her close. Her soft blonde hair laid in delicate waves. I brushed it gently between my fingers, letting it fall softly back to her shoulders, and spinning loose strands back into neat curls.
About an hour and a half or so into the second act I wondered if she had drifted to sleep. I leaned down and kissed her head whispering softly to her.
"Jessie?" I spoke into her blonde tresses.
"Hmm?" she hummed.
"Are you going to sleep honey?" I kissed her head again loving the feeling of touching her.
She wiggled into me and mumbled something I couldn't quite understand. I laughed and laid my cheek against her crown taking a deep breath.
"Danny?" she mumbled a few moments later.
"What sweetheart?"
There was no reply and I wondered if she was talking in her sleep.
"I'm sorry." she mumbled again. I was confused at what she could possibly be sorry for. She hadn't said hardly anything the entire night and she certainly hadn't done anything to offend me.
"For what?"
"Everything." she didn't seem to have any second thought about her statement nor did she take more than a split second to think or it.
"Jessica you haven't done anything I can assure you." There was no reply from her and I thought for a moment of how I was to continue. "Jessica look at me." I slipped my hand around her back and motioned for her to sit up. She looked at me and I held her chin between my thumb and forefinger holding eye contact. "Jessie I have sat here all night fighting with myself and trying to make all of this make sense. You are the most perfect human being I have ever met in my life. I have no idea how I was ever so lucky as to even be in the same room as you, but here we are six months together and I still have you." I watched her face as she looked at me confused. "I know you have been threw so much and I don't ever want to make you say or do anything you don't want, but I have to tell you how I feel. If you don't feel the same I understand but Jess if I didn't tell you I would spend the next how ever long kicking myself for not trying. You are so perfect Jessica, so perfect you scare me." I laughed and she smiled looking down as her cheeks flushed. "I decided I had to take my chance before it walked away-"
She cut me off placing her index finger over my lips. "Danny just tell me, you're running out of wind honey." she laughed. My eyes darted between hers and I took a moment to gather my courage and the energy to take the disappointment of her turning me down.
"Jessica, I love you."
She looked at me and smiled. Moving her hands to hold my jaw between them she caressed my cheek with her thumb.
"Oh honey, you never have to worry about me." her eyes welled with tears again and I fought the urge to wipe them away. "Pain is beauty, and beauty is when pain heals." her voice was soft and comforting to me. Even if she wasn't meaning to she made me see how strong she was. To cover her own scars and open wounds, while reassuring me that her pain would heal. "Love conquers all my dear." she finished as she soothed my jawline with the back of her fingers.
I smiled at her the pure innocence once again shining threw her stone face. I tear fell from her eye leaving a wet line down her pink cheek. I lifted my hand unable to fight the urge anymore. I wiped away her tear with my thumb and cupped her jaw in my palm. She smiled closing her eyes and leaned into my hand covering it with her own.
When she opened her eyes again to look into mine I smiled lovingly at the angel that sat before my. Leaning in I sought her soft pink lips with my own for the second time that evening, but this time I was not refused. She met my lips with hers at first just for a moment and then again and again with more ambition and lust each time. The feeling of her lips brushing against mine made my heart swell. She was soft and sweet with nothing left to long for. I had everything I ever wanted in my arms, my entire world sat before me, and she was beautiful.
I pulled away brushing her hair out of her face, her smile sparkled in the dim light of the television and I fell in love all over again. Looking into her deep hazel eyes once again I had only one thing I thought suitable to sum up our evening together in her stormy New York apartment, and though it was not perfect compared to her it was perfect for her.
"We loved with a love that was more than love."
____________________________________
The idea for this great story was sent to me by the lovely miss Rachel, and I can tell you I had one hell of a time with it. I had so much fun with it and I was so lucky to get to work with this wonderful idea. She gave me free reign of the piece and all though I stressed about making it right for her, I am so glad I had the opportunity. I hope you all enjoy it and most of all I hope I did not disappoint you Rachel. Please feel free to send me any ideas you guys have for one shots and I would love to work with them. Thank you all for your love and support.
As always all my love, Little Miss Lange.