Groping for the word like someone
Would grope for the switch of a light
In a dark room.
-**
Derek.
"It is my best color because it is the surname of a man from a movie I watched."I pointed out as I smiled at my phone.
"Which man?What movie?"She gushed out.I could tell that right now she was playing with her fingers,embarrassed by her sudden eagerness to find out why grey was my favorite color.
"Baby,I can't do that."I chuckled."That movie is too much for your clean mind."I stated.
"I promise I won't watch it,if you tell me about it."She mumbled.
What I would have done to have her here with me...I let out a grin as I remembered the memories of last night.That had been the worst attempt of a seduction I had ever seen but hers was the only one which had ever turned me on.
"Why had I turned it down again?"I questioned myself as my mind became clouded with lust for her body.
"Xavier."She shouted through the phone,snapping me out from my dirty thoughts."Can you tell me about the movie now."She whined.
"Say that again."I said as I pulled a pen to my lips.
"What should I say again...Xavier?"She asked unsure of her guess.
"Mmm-hmm."I responded waiting for my request to be granted.
"Xavier."She said bluntly.
"Say it lower with a lighter voice."I instructed her as I studied the wet pen I had pulled away from my lips.
"Xavier."She said in a low but husky voice which made my pants feel tighter.
Damn!
"Don't call me Derek ever again just call me that name,exactly the way you said it today."I said trying to sound calm and unaffected by her.
I couldn't wait to teach her things that she never knew off,things she had never seen and feelings she had never felt.She was untouched,she didn't need to tell me,I knew virgins just by looking at them.She smelt of innocence,one that I couldn't wait to replace with a better smell.
"Okay."She finally said after moments of silence."Can I know now?"She pressed.
I let out a sigh as I gave in to her demand.
"The name of the movie is fifty shades of grey and the mans name is Christian Grey."I smiled at the thought of me being her dominant but frowned at the pain she would feel by being my submissive.
"Okay then."She said lowly.
I could tell that she wanted to know more about the character but I couldn't bring myself to do that knowing the consequences.
"Have you done the photo shoot yet?"I asked,introducing a new topic.
"I am about to,just getting my hair and make up done."She replied cheerfully.
"Just make sure you stay 4 inches away from the male model like we agreed and if the bastard moves his hand lower or start to rub you...."
"Derek."She snapped.
I forgot how much she hated when being commanded or ordered by me.How was I supposed to make her understand that if she left me I would die.
"Am sorry, Sel."I sighed into the phone as my hands balled into a fist just by thinking of a man touching her.
I hated that word-sorry but she was more important to me than my pride.
"It's okay."She whispered like she was telling me a secret."Am..am scared Derek."Her voice broke.
"Of what?"I stiffened,hoping that no one had harmed her.
"Today is graduation and....I don't have a...fam.."
"Don't even complete that statement."I cut her off. "I'll be your new family and you'll be mine,okay?"
"Okay."She answered.
I could tell that she was smiling at that thought and so was I,I welcomed the thought of her being my family because she was already my home.
"I..love you..De..Xavier."She stammered.
"I love you more Sel."I said,speaking for the feeling which was swelling my chest and making my pulse quicken.
"I like the sound of that."Her voice dropped.
"Then I will keep on saying it till my last dying breath."I promised.
I could see us having a future,maybe years or months or most likely an hour from now.
The line went silent for sometime making me question if she had already ended the call"I..need to go,it's time for the shoot."She quickly said before ending the call.
I threw my phone on the wall as soon as the line went dead.It shattered into pieces just like my other 3 phones had when I had almost lost her those other three times.
I attacked my hair,running my hands round it as well as tugging it as a punishment for what I had just said.
Way to go..your last dying breath?,Even shakespeare himself wasn't this cheesy
What if l scared her off?
I stopped such foolish thoughts from running through my head as I recalled what had happened between us in the island.
She said she loved you,so she won't leave you.
But she never said till her last dying breath?Did she?
I wanted to take things slow and steady at her own pace but I was a man after all.There were times I wanted her to be silent for the whole day,saying no single word apart from our fighting tongues speaking for us or when she came out of the shower with her wet hair sticking neatly to her back and her over short towel stopping only at her thighs,times like that I wanted to take her back into the shower but Derek the whipped boy was trying to take things......
S.
L.
O.
W.
I should go and apologize to her there.
What if you make her burst into tears because of you,stupid.
I let out a loud sigh as I slumped into my chair.
Sel was very fragile and shy when it came to things like this but that would never make me to stop loving her,the same way she had fixed me was the same I would do so to her.I would take all the terrible memories her father had given her and turn them into memories of only us.Our confessions last night in the island was already a sign that she was learning to trust me and that was the main reason I couldn't have sex with her last night.
A loud knock came from the door,pulling me from my worried state.Right now,I welcomed any distraction apart from sex that could take my mind of Ann for a time.
"Come in."I said,forcing my authoritative tone to return.
"Good Afternoon,Sir."Michelle the blonde haired lady greeted as she stepped into my office.Michelle was my assistant in my company while Claire was my assistant in school.
"What is that?"I asked pointing at the parcel she held in her pale hands as she set it on top of my desk.
"It is the twenty carat gold shoe you ordered as a replacement for miss Annabelle."She read the details from a paper plastered on the box.
"Okay."I nodded as I reached for the package and dropped it beside me."What else?"I asked,noticing that she was still in front of me shaking slightly and fiddling nervously with her fingers.
That was new.
"There.....is... someone..... here that wants to see you."She stuttered on her words.
I knew exactly who made her feel this way because he made everyone he encountered feel uncomfortable with just his gaze.I was not surprised at all for his sudden visit,he had being quiet for more than a month which made me paranoid of his next move.
"Let him in."I waved her off and released a breath as the door closed behind her.
You need to be strong,especially for Sel!
I sat up and dug the package deeper,under my desk as I heard the handle of the door jerk open.
I brought my elbows to the table and rested my chin on my knuckles as I studied my fathers serious expression break into a mischievous smile.
He walked towards me and sat comfortably on the chair opposite from me,bringing his left leg to cross it over the right one while playing with the ring on his finger.
I remained silent neither blinking nor moving, I was waiting for his next move and judging by his body movements he was here for something important.
"I asked you to comply to a contract thereby bringing a business relationship into my company."He laughed."But rather my extraordinary son brings in my soon to be daughter-in-law."He completed with all amusement removed from his face.
Shit!
Selami.***
"I need to go...it's time for the photo shoot."I lied as I ended the call.
I took a deep breath as the word "Till my last dying breath."registered in my mind.
I love him but I was too afraid to loose him.I never had a great history with the ones I loved,take for examples:My mum who died,my sister who also died and my father who practically wanted me dead.
I blinked back the tears that were pricking their way in my eyelids and reached for my phone on the table.
I dialed his line several times to tell him that I would never want to loose him,to tell him that I love,to hear the promises he would make and always keep but sighed as the line remained unavailable before I could think of another means of reaching him,Oliver began yelling my name for the last shoot.
"Coming."I yelled back as I took a deep breath and stood up from the chair.I exited the changing room to meet Oliver and his crew positioning the lightening and fixing everything up for the set;there was one single white stool among the midst of the black back-ground and behind the stool was an African-american model who went by the name- Xander.I smiled remembering De...Xaviers clear instruction to stay away from him but I really didn't see anything that would intimidate him,the guy was cute but Derek was sexy,everything about Der..Xavier...was always sexy.What an irony their names both started with anX.
"Over there,Sel."Oliver pointed at the stool,distracting me from my comparison.
"Okay."I nodded as I sat there and stiffened when I felt his hand rest on my shoulder.His touch had no effect on me just like Dereks always did.
I laughed lightly as I realized I had being disobeying him.
Don't call me Derek ever again.
The shoot ended earlier than I expected with everyone applauding as Oliver called it a wrap.I quickly stood up and ran into the changing room in order to get ready for the graduation which Derek..I mean..Xavier would be arriving to pick me up for,any minute from now.
"Can I come in?"Oliver asked,slightly peeking from the door.
Luckily,I was still dressed and about to reach for my zipper.
"Sure."I nodded as I sat on the chair close to the mirror.
He smiled as he walked in with a duffel bag in his hand."You've really grown up."He said as he ruffled my hair but stopped when I slapped him hardly while laughing at his gesture.
"Look,Sel...I don't care if the rest of the workers in Balmain don't see how obviously talented you are but I see it and whatever happens now,whatever the results may be...never give up on that pencil.You are the best designer I have ever seen and trust me I have worked with many"He smiled softly."I look forward to working with you in the future and always keep drawing"He finished and placed the bag on my lap.
I opened it to find my master piece.The racist gown I had designed was no longer in paper but in fabric,the black designs were formed with net and the background made use of a harder but white smooth fabric which looked very delicate but expensive.I was speechless as tears streamed down my face.
"Oliver."I gasped as I flew into his arms for a tight hug which he accepted back squeezing me tightly.
"Make me proud,Sel."He beamed as he pulled away from me and reached for the door handle.
I was surprised and excited and relieved.I would never regret any of it no matter if I got accepted into Balamin or not.
"And Sel."He called before shutting the door."Next time inform me that you haven't fully mastered the art of reading and writing before I book you another interview."He let out a low laugh as he closed the door and left me with my mouth hanging open.
All this while he had known.
***************************************************************************************
I kept on staring at my phone then at the drive way then back at my phone.Oliver offered to drop me off ago but I turned down the offer waiting patiently for Der..Xavier.
The gown was an off shoulder gown, covering my entire legs,exposing only my ankles and feet to exhibit the black strap heels I put on.My hair was given added length stopping at my waist,my dark brown hair blended nicely with the wavy extensions and my amazing but simple make up were both done by Jen and Alec.
"Where is he?"I muttered as I dialed his line for the twentieth time but it still remained unavailable.
I pushed down the sickening feeling that he had abandoned me and came up with other reasons why he wasn't yet here.
Maybe there was a traffic jam.
I was about to go back inside and accept Oliver's offer until a grey car came to a stop in front of me.A man dressed in a dark-navy blue suite came out from the passengers seat and opened the door leading to the back seat as he tilted his head to the opened door.
Xavier always used all things grey but he always opened the door for me..wait..he never opened the door for me if you removed him carrying me into his car yesterday.Either ways,he never instructed someone to open the door for me.
I shrugged off the strange feeling I was getting as I slipped into the car,hoping to be greeted by a pair of blue eyes,scattered sandy hair and a breath-taking smile but squirmed on my seat as I saw dark eyes stare at me.
He looked very familiar but I couldn't remember where I had seen him before.
"So you are the famous..Sel..Annabelle."He started."I must say that you look more decent,far from the last time I saw you."He said that last part with a smile.
Last time I saw you.
Last...time?
My mind went back to the time when Derek and I were sitting under the waterfall and I asked him the meaning of a bastard and how the word related to him and he gave me a short answer, when I asked if he had a father"Not necessarily."
Another memory came up from two moths ago at the interview when Derek had said those words to me as I was about to confess my feelings to him,there was someone else there apart from Oliver,someone behind him."My name is...David Allen."
My head jerked up to meet his studying gaze as he analyzed me.I saw no resemblance in Derek in him,not even a single feature but I could see who Penelope- Dereks little sister had gotten her nose,lips and face shape from.
His eyes met mine again like he was conscious of my questioning face as he let out a dry smile."You must be wondering where my son is?"He said it more like a statement than a question as he turned to look at the window.
I nodded at first but realized that he couldn't see me."Yes,I am."I said confidently.
Without knowing David Allen I could tell that Derek had gotten one thing from him-his composure,he had a way with his eyes,he knew how to move people by just looking at them and by his hard jaw I could tell he had something very vital to say.
"I won't threaten or try to bribe you because I am not so sure you know the meaning of those things."He sated as he used my illiteracy against me.
I would have cried over that statement if Derek hadn't already taught me how to read and write.I looked Mr.Allen in the eye and gave him a small smile which he seemed surprise by but I couldn't really tell if he was."We all are learners in this world,aren't we?"I questioned him as I sat up,Derek also thought me to never allow people to look down at me."My past neither broke or shattered me but it changed me and strengthened me."I replied with an american accent.
David told his expressions through his eyes and from what I could see I had given him something to think about.I mentally gave myself a thumbs up but refused to break our eye connection.
"I can see that Derek has continued his charity work by equipping you with some knowledge."He smiled to himself."I can tell that you now have a slight sense of rational thinking so I want to give you a simple assignment."He said,waiting for my answer.
I nodded bravely for him to continue.
"Think about my son...Derek.Question yourself on what your relationship with him may do to his career."
"What do you mean by that?"I said,controlling the slight resentment I was feeling towards this man who saw his son only as a business deal.
He knitted his eyebrow and cleared his throat."I mean that because of you gold digging tactics or the spell you have charmed him with,my son may end up on the street-poor and helpless."He answered.
My eyes widened at what he had just said,was he really going to do that to his own flesh and blood."Why do you say so....."
He cut me off by raising his finger."That is why it is called an assignment."He gleamed as he gestured towards the now opened door by my right.
"You know what it feels like to be in that state,You have had that experience with you dead family members,would you want your ItoDerek to join them?"He concluded as the door came to a shut and he drove off.
My eyes stung,my body felt weak and I broke down the shield and allowed my tears to finally fall.
I am horrible....I know.....you'll wait for another update for another week which makes me a demon....I know and am so sorry.I couldn't give you the update because the wifi was down for like a month and I was reading for my sat which is on the 1st of October plus I was also doing college hunting and to top it all of,researching pictures upon pictures and book covers upon book covers for the book 2....Life isn't easy but you guys make it worth the stress.
My birthday is on sunday by the way. ;)
Any grammatical blunder is an honest mistake,the time is 2 in the morning and I am so tired.I'll do all the fix ups in the morning.
you know the drill guy.vcs
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