Kou's POV
Todays the day, I thought to myself as I grab my bag pack off my bed. Today is the day I was going to reply to Nate's confession. Just thinking about it made me nervous and stress. Today was also the day our presentation was due. So I made up my mind last night that I would tell him how I feel after our presentation. I rather not have my reply affect our performance. The quicker I get this over with the better off both of us will be. I sent Liz a quick text to tell her I was ready.
I was eating toast in the kitchen when I heard a loud honk outside. Well, Liz is here. Gulping down the last bit of my toast and grabbing my water bottle off the counter I rush outside. Making sure to grab my keys and lock the door I walk up to Liz's car.
"Good morning," I said as I got in the car and buckled my seat belt.
"Morning, so did you get any sleep at all last night?" Liz ask, as she backed out of my driveway.
"What do you mean?"
Slightly glancing at me Liz went back to driving, "Well, first of all your eyes are blood shot and you have small bags forming under your eyes. Also, since today is the day that you are going to give a reply to Nate I am sure that has already gotten you stress enough. I can also tell that by the way you have your phone set on your lap that you are waiting for Kevin to either reply to you or send you another snap chat. You never really have your phone on you except if you're talking to Kevin. So my guess is that you barely got any sleep last night."
I just looked at Liz in awe my mouth opening wide. It's scary how much she knows about me. Everything she said was exactly true and it was seriously frightening. I was indeed stress and just like Liz said I only got a few hours of sleep, 4 hours to be exact. I'm actually surprise that I am still functioning after lacking so much sleep these past couple days.
I look down at my phone on my lap. Liz was right again I was waiting for Kevin's snap chat. He's only been gone for a day and half but I miss him already. It feels weird not seeing each other so I been waiting for his snap chats. He's been sending me a picture about every hour or so of the beautiful Colorado Mountains and just him making silly faces with messages like, I wish you were here with me, or I miss you. He always knows just what to do to make me smile. Kevin must have known I was thinking about him at that moment because my phone buzz signaling a message.
I open the image he sent me and my jaw drop open, my cheeks blush with embarrassment. The snap chat was a black and white picture of Kevin shirtless. His left hand was in the front pocket of the jeans that that hung low on his hips. His right hand was place behind his head and he had the most devilish grin on his face, his eyes seem to sparkle with mischief. The pose he showed was devilish and sexy, but my eyes were only drawn to one thing, Kevin's delicious abs he was showing at the moment and the words he wrote. "One day I'll see that beautiful body of yours too," was written at the bottom of the picture. Before I can even fully process the image and message the picture disappear. Yet even after the image was gone I still sat gasping at my phone, speechless.
Did that really happen? It happen so fast that I wasn't sure if I really saw what I thought I did. I brought my right hand to my face and felt my skin burn. I knew without a doubt that what I saw was indeed real. Not only did Kevin send me a half-naked picture of himself but he clearly stated in his message that he wanted to see all of me one day. No...more than wanted, it was a promise. Kevin has never done something like this before, but instead of feeling repulse like I thought I would instead my body burned with excitement.
"Kou...Kou, are you o.k?"
I lift my head up from my phone still in a daze, "what?" I said not knowing who I was talking to.
"Girl, are you alright," Liz ask. She grab both my cheeks with her hands and turn my face to look at her. "You look as white as a sheet. If it's because of what I said, I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again if you don't want me too. So don't scare me like that, you haven't talked in over 15 minutes."
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Have I been out that long? I felt like my thoughts were a mile away. "I'm sorry Liz, I think I'm just in a bit of a shock right now."
Liz place her hands in a pleading stance and pleaded, "I'm so sorry Kou, and I won't do it ever again."
I looked at Liz and could help but laugh. Her eyes were close and her face was scrunch up. She did that face whenever she felt guilty for something. "Liz I'm fine now, and it wasn't even your fault."
Liz open her eyes, "What, it isn't?"
"No silly of course not. Why would I be mad at you for telling me the truth? It just means you know me enough to really understand what I am going through and for that I am grateful. I'm grateful that I have a friend who not only supports me but also have the guts to tell me straight up what I need to hear." There was also no way I was going to tell Liz about the snap chat Kevin just sent me.
"Aww... Kou don't make me worry so much. You always do this to me." Liz said frowning at me.
"But you always forgive me right?"
"Yeah, just for you," She said poking my forehead. "Now we better get our butts to school girl. We have less than 5 minutes."
"Oh crap you should have said something earlier." I cried looking at my watch. "Let's get going."
We rush out of the car and ran towards the school.
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I look up from my seat and watch as Nate walked into the classroom. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say, I haven't seen him since Saturday night. I saw Nate's eyes lit up as he set his eyes on me and stroll towards me. Not sure what to do I watch as he made his way to stand beside my desk.
"Hey princess, I missed you," he said hovering over me making me back away to create some space between us.
Extending my neck to get a better look at him I place my hand in the front of his chest, pushing him arm's length away. "Nate, too close."
Nate just smiled and back away. He was about to say something when our teacher walked in. Not looking at me he lightly trail his fingers along my right hand before he headed to the back of the room to his seat. I rub my left hand over his touch, yet the tingling sensation didn't subside.
The rest of the class period went by with a blur. Nate and I went up to present our topic to the class and the presentation went smoothly. All our hard work really paid off. What surprise me the most was Nate's ability to engage our classmate and even our teacher during the presentation. He did such an excellent job that it made me have a whole level of respect for him.
The bell ring signaling the end of the class period. I watch as everyone exit out of the class room except for Nate. I knew he was waiting for me just like I was for him. Nate was standing facing me just like I was. My heart pounded with nervousness when I saw a Nate I never seen before. Unlike the smiley dorky person I thought I knew standing before me, this Nate was not smiling nor did he look very happy. His eyes appear darken as he rigidly walk towards me, neve breaking eye contact.
I honestly didn't know what to do or say, I have never seen this side of Nate before. He walk until he was only a foot away from me. I was expecting him to touch my cheeks or play with my hair like he always did, instead he had both his hands tuck in his back pockets, almost like he was restricting them.
I couldn't take the silence any longer. "Nate, we-"I started to say.
Nate didn't let me finish, he lean close to me once more and whispered softly, "I'll meet you after school where we first met." He didn't even wait for my reply, as he walked out the door, not looking back.
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After class I rush to the place where Nate and I first met and sat by the bench near the big oak tree. Nate wasn't there yet so I sat down and played candy crush on my phone while waiting for him.
"This place brings back memories doesn't it," I jerked my gaze from my phone and turn to see Nate sitting next to me. I didn't even hear him approach.
"Nate you scared me, how long have you been here?"
Instead of answering he just stared ahead. Unsure of what to do I leaned back on the bench and watch as the many students rush home for the day. We sat there for a long time neither of us saying anything. I didn't know if I should let Nate talk first or should I say something to indicate a conversation.
When I couldn't take the silence any longer I turn my body to fully face him and finally said what I been meaning to tell him all morning. "Nate I am so sorry but I can't return your feelings. You mean a lot to me and I think of you as a really great friend, but I am sorry I cannot accept your confession." I look down at my hands and played with my fingers waiting for Nate's reply. I couldn't bring myself to even look at him.
"Look at me Kou." Nate finally said. I stop playing with my fingers and look up at him. Instead of the smile that Nate have always shown me I saw sadness in his eyes for a split second. That sadness was enough to split me in two. Nate reach over and grab a strand of my hair like he has done so many times before and twirl it around his finger. He smiled then, the smile that he has always shown me.
"Don't be sorry princess." Nate said as he drop his hand from my hair. "Because I already knew I was going to be rejected today, so I have already prepared my heart for rejection. So don't say sorry because I don't regret confessing my feelings for you. Since the first day I met you at this very same place I knew you were going to be special to me. In just a short time that I have known you have become more special to me than anyone else has before. You were the first person who took time to get to know me and saw me as more than just the "good-looking football guy," or the "popular playboy." That wasn't the only thing that made you attractive though. Not only are you beautiful on the outside and inside, but I love the way you blush when I give you a simple complement. Or the way your face scrunches up when you're thinking too hard. All these things are what makes you special to me, but I knew already that just because your special to me doesn't mean I'm your special someone. I have tried as hard as I can to be to become your special someone, but at the end I wasn't able to be."
Nate brought his index finger to lift my chin up so I would stop advoiding his gaze. By now my eyes were watery with tears. "So I want you to understand that I am not sorry one bit for confessing to you. I'm not sorry for trying to win your heart nor getting rejected. Most of all though, I will never be sorry for falling in love with you."
Unable to hold them in any longer, I let my tears fall.
Why couldn't I have fallen in love with Nate? He likes me so much and yet why does my heart not return the favor.
Chuckling Nate use both of his thumbs to wipe my tears away. "Are you crying for my sake princess?"
Nodding, crying and sniffing I replied back, "it's just that I feel like such a jerk for rejecting you. I hate being cruel and hurting people's feelings, especially yours." Nate just continue wiping my tears until they sustain.
"If you feel that way then, can you grant me one last wish?"
I nodded wiping the last tear drop away.
"Then can you let me hug you for just a minute."
I wasn't sure why he made this wish, but if a hug is all he is asking for then I was willing to give him just that. So I leaned in for a hug. I was expecting a short "tap on the back" hug but instead Nate pulled me against his chest and held me tight, almost like I was going to disappear. Not knowing what to do in this situation both my arms drop by my side.
When Nate pulled back he had a huge smile on his face, "Thank you, I feel so much better now."
"Hmm... You're welcome." I wasn't sure how to really respond to someone who is thanking me for a hug.
"Well then," Nate said getting up from the bench, "I think we are done here. Would you like me to take you home?"
I shook my head no. "No, I want to finish my last project today so I will be at the library for a while."
"Sound good then Kou, I'll see you around." Nate started to walk away when I reach out to grab his arm stopping him from proceeding.
"Wait Nate."
"Yes?"
Looking deep into his eyes I ask the question that I have been avoiding, for I was afraid to hear the answer. I took a deep breath and finally said, "Nate are we still friends."
Nate laughed and pinch me on the nose, "Did you even have to ask, and of course we are still friends. Just because you rejected me doesn't mean you can get rid of me."
I beamed with happiness. I was really worried that Nate might not be my friend anymore. I let go of Nate's hand. "Thank you."
With just one more nod and a killer smile I watch as he walked down the field and straight to the parking lot.
As I watch him walk away I really contemplated if I just made a huge mistake. What if Nate was the best thing that ever happen to me and without even giving him a chance I rejected him. Yet, as much as I wanted to rush to Nate and tell him maybe I made a mistake, my heart held me back. Deep down I knew the one who held my heart was not Nate, but if it isn't Nate then who is it?
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I slung my backpack around my shoulder and headed out the library doors. It was now dark outside and just about every student has gone home, except those individuals that had after school club activities.
Since my parents were not home they couldn't pick me, so I decide to take the after school bus home. I was about half way to the bus stop when I realize I forgot my math book in my locker. I still had a few problems to do before I turned it in a few days. My locker was located pass the boy's football room. I rush as fast as I could to get to my locker when I stop dead in my tracks. What I saw before me made my blood run cold.
About a yard away I saw Lisa pressed against the lockers with Kevin's lips on hers.
I turn around as fast as I could and practically ran out the doors, my math book forgotten. It wasn't until I was far away from them did I finally stop running. I stood on the sidewalk as still as a statue. I felt a rain drop hit the checks, bringing my hand to wipe it away I realize it wasn't raining at all, I was crying. I was crying a lot, tears were streaming down my face and yet I didn't even notice. I have been crying the whole time I was running away from them.
I stared at my hand with confusion. Why was I crying?
Kevin had every right to kiss whoever he wanted. He wasn't tied down to me nor are we even together, and yet I couldn't stop the tears from coming not matter how much I wiped them away. I shut my eyes refusing to let any more tears drop but that only made it worst. Every time I closed them the image of Kevin kissing Lisa appeared over and over again in my mind. It made me angry, sad and furious that he would do that with another girl when he confess his love to me. I knew that I shouldn't have believed him when he told me he loved me. There was no way that Kevin would even feel anything but friendship for me, it was probably all just a joke. This is what happens when you believe a playboy and his words.
However it didn't matter how mad or angry I was at Kevin, what scared me the most was I was jealous. I was jealous of Lisa. For a split moment when I saw them it dawn to me that I wanted to be the person that Kevin was kissing. I wanted to be the only one for Kevin.
Realization hit me as my hands drop to my sides. I was in love Kevin. This whole time he was the one that my heart belonged to. There was already no space for Nate, Kevin completely conquer my heart, I was just too dumb to notice it.
It was all too much to take in. I saw the bus approach and I ran towards it. Home. I needed to get home.
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Wow! What an emotional chapter. I felt emotional just writing it.
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-loveispriceless