Katniss POV- (A week later, 1:45am)
"Katniss, get off me, sweetheart." Peeta whispers to me.
I open my heavy eyes and look around, confused.
"Get up." He says softly.
I release his hands that were wrapped around my waist and holding mine. I get off his lap and I sit then back down where he was, confused as to what's going on.
Peeta walks around the dark room, flipping a lamp on and then he opens the front door.
"Peeta." I hear my mother's voice.
My heart begins to race.
"Hey, come on in." Peeta says politely, awkwardly.
My mother steps in and my eyes are the first thing she sees. Peeta closes the door, "Come sit down." He says motioning to the couches.
They walk around and Peeta sits next to me and my mother sits on the other couch, distanced from us.
There's an awkward and a tensioned silence. And I'm just now realizing what's happening.
"So... How have you been?" Peeta asks her awkwardly.
"Fine. Fine. How about you all?" She asks us.
"We've been great. The bakery is doing awesome and Willow is in school so Katniss gets a lot more free time, which I'm sure she enjoys." He laughs a little, nervous sounding.
"Oh, I didn't know she was old enough to be in school or that you opened a bakery."
"She's turning six tomorrow and we opened the bakery when she was like one." I mumble uncomfortably and lean against Peeta. I open my mouth and speak before I realize the words and the tone I'm using.
I pull the blanket up over my stomach, shielding my now 4 month pregnant belly. I'm defiantly beginning to show and I do not intend to tell my mother about the baby at least until tomorrow.
I wouldn't tell her at all but I know someone will bring it up at Willow's party, if she doesn't notice it herself.
"I didn't think kids started school until they were six." My mom says.
I roll my eyes, wishing she would leave already.
"How is District 1?" Peeta asks.
"Good." She says simply.
I stare at the floor as Peeta shifts uncomfortably beside me, putting his hand on my arm and I intertwine our fingers.
I feel my blood boiling as we sit in silence.
"How is everything here?"
I look at Peeta to answer because I refuse.
"Uh-it's wonderful, actually. All of our friends are here and there's three kids for Willow to play with so she loves it too. I think Katniss and I can agree it's the best place for us." Peeta says softly.
"I'm glad you are so happy here." She says looking down at the floor.
I glance at Peeta and he shrugs his shoulders.
"Okay, before we go any further with this can I just apologize to you both?"
I freeze and Peeta nods his head a little.
"Katniss, I love you so much and I'm sorry for the last 16 years." She says, looking me right in the eyes.
I don't know what to say so I don't say anything and neither does Peeta.
"I shouldn't have put you through everything I did and I will never forgive myself for it. Any of it. Especially since I did it again after your sister died. I love you both so much and I just figured you'd all be happier without me, you all seem happier having nothing to do with me and I wasn't sure if I should come but I needed to fix this." She tells us, about to cry.
"You make us happy too when you don't act like you have been and when you want to have something to do with us." I mutter kind of bitterly.
"You all seem so happy and I don't want to ruin that for any of you, I promise I didn't do any of it on purpose."
"Can I please tell you what Willow told me a few months back?" Peeta butts in.
She nods her head.
"She told me that you were only hurting her worse by not wanting to see her." He says.
I feel tears spring into my eyes at the final realization that my five year old figured that out before any of us did.
"I have figured that out over the years but I didn't want to just come back and act like nothing happened. I knew you guys wouldn't like that."
"We wouldn't but I think it's safe to say now that it's what is best for Willow and if she wants to have something to do with you, we aren't going to stop her." Peeta says.
"I agree with Peeta. I just wish that you and I could fix things. I want to have a real mother. The way it was when I was at home and Peeta made you happy too. Don't you remember that?"
"I was just happy because you were so happy."
"But I'm more than happy now so why can't you be too?"
She sighs, "Katniss, you don't understand how hard it is to be happy."
"I understand it completely and so does Peeta." I say kind of irritatedly. She too often forgets I've been through the same things she has and Peeta's experienced it with 4 of his family members in one day, ours was over a long period of time.
"You don't understand what it's like to lose your husband or your daughter. It's different than losing a sister or a father." My mother tries.
"I don't know what it's like to lose your husband or your daughter but I hope I never find out but it hurts just as badly as losing your dad and sister. Peeta lost his whole family and he's happy."
"Because he has a beautiful wife and daughter to make up for that and I didn't have anything."
"You had me, Mom. Don't I matter? I know I'm not Prim or the most pleasant person to be around but I'm still your daughter. I have a family too that's yours." I tell her and begin to cry. Peeta rubs my back gently as I glare at her through my tears.
My mother sighs and shrugs her shoulders, "I just don't want to hurt any of you or lose you guys." She says.
"I agree with Willow, you're hurting us more by not wanting a thing to do with us." I say, almost yelling.
Peeta takes a deep breath, obviously getting as worked up as I am over this and turns his head.
"Every year on her birthday or Christmas, I see something in Katniss's eyes or in her attitude. Every time the phone rings and it's not you, she's disappointed. I know Katniss like the back of my hand and I know when something is bothering her and even though she's gonna kill me for saying this, but she wants you in our lives." Peeta tells her angrily.
I bury my face into his chest embarrassedly and start to sob.
Cue the pregnancy hormones.
He knew that without me even knowing it myself and I feel embarrassed that I let him see it. Because that's exactly how I've felt the last 6 years at least.
Peeta wraps his arms protectively around me and holds me to him.
"I'm sorry." My mother starts, breaking down too.
"I'm sorry, Katniss. I am so so sorry." She says crying.
I don't bring my head up as I soak in her repetitive apologies. I know I should drop it here and forgive her right here and now, at least to get her to shut up but I don't.
I listen to her crying for about five minutes as I recover from my own crying episode and look up at Peeta who looks completely helpless in this room full of crying women. He doesn't looked so shocked that I'm crying but he definitely looks shocked that my mom is crying.
I look over at my mother who looks completely helpless and pitiful, maybe not as much as she did years and years ago, but enough to make me do something I never thought I would do.
I break away from Peeta and stand up shakily. I go over and wrap my arms around her frail body.
It's only now I'm noticing how much she's aged.
Her hair is not as blonde as it once was and her bones and skin are fragile looking.
She is kind of shocked by my sudden embrace but she puts her hand over my arm as I awkwardly hug her from the side.
The way I'm sitting, I just hope and pray the baby does not kick right now or else she's going to for sure feel something. I'm already taking a huge risk of her seeing by me coming over to her like this.
"I am so sorry, Katniss." She tells me over and over, crying into her hands.
After a few minutes I glance back to Peeta who looks shocked that this is happening.
"Stop crying." I say kind of sternly, annoyed mostly.
It reminds me of the dozens of times I told her this when I was twelve, for her to just stare blankly into space and continue to cry.
She actually stops and I hold her to me for a couple more minutes.
After a few more minutes she brings her head up and looks into my eyes.
"Please forgive me?" She says helplessly.
I notice that same tired, sad look on her face and that her skin isn't as tight as it once was and then I look into her unchanged eyes.
They're so comfortable-looking to me for some reason. Not the way Peeta or Willow's eyes are for me, but maybe it's because they're so much alike Prim's were that I have no choice but to except the fact that she's the closest thing I have to her.
So I embrace her again, pretending it's my sister, even though it's not because I know my sister would never hurt me as badly as my mother has.
Her body feels so alien to me. I haven't felt her in so long, her warmth feels weird too-I'm not sure how to explain it, really.
"I forgive you." I mumble against her shoulder and we pull away. I cross my arms uncomfortably across my belly and hunch over.
"Peeta, will you please forgive me as well?" She asks him softly.
"Of course." Peeta says smiling sadly.
I stand up and Peeta does too, followed by my mother and I walk straight into his embrace.
He kisses my forehead as I hug him tightly.
My mother comes over and embraces him too as I hide behind him.
"You two better get onto bed, you have a busy day tomorrow." My mother tells us after a second.
Peeta looks at me and puts his ear down to my lips.
"Go to bed. I will he there soon." I mumble.
He looks at me and I nod my head.
"Okay, well I am going to go to bed. Goodnight, Mrs. Everdeen." Peeta turns around. I sit down on the couch while she's distracted talking to Peeta and cover my stomach with the blanket.
Peeta turns around and leans down, pecking my lips.
"Goodnight. I love you." He says diddly to me.
I smile a little and he smiles sadly at me.
"Goodnight. I love you too. I'll be up in a little bit." I tell him.
He nods his head and disappears upstairs.
My mother takes a seat, this time she sits closer to me than before and looks more open to talk.
I take a deep breath, "You can go to bed if you're tired. I just thought we could talk some more." I shrug my shoulders.
"Sure. I would love to talk." She says softly.
I smile a little and sigh.
"What do you want to talk about?" I ask her.
I'm bad at this kind of thing.
"Will you tell me all about Willow?" My mother asks.
I feel a smile creep up on my face.
I kind of want to be mad at her for asking me this, because if she would've been here the last 6 years she would know all about her but I'm kind of just happy she's asking me now.
"What do you want to know?" I ask her.
Willow is one of my two favorite people to talk about but I need to know what she wants me to tell her.
"What is her favorite color?"
Without thinking I say, "Purple."
A soft smile crosses her face, "I love purple."
"She must get that from you because Peeta's favorite is orange and mine's-"
"Green." My mother cuts me off.
I smile and nod.
"What does she like to do?"
I sigh, "I've noticed she loves to do anything Peeta loves to do. She likes to bake or cook with us and is
non-stop making art projects." I laugh a little.
My mother smiles, "That's good because I bought her a whole bunch of coloring books and crayons. That's what you liked doing when you were her age. Hopefully she doesn't have any of the ones I bought."
"Trust me, even if she did, she will not care. I swear every single time we ask her what she wants for Christmas or her birthday, every single time she says 'color books' or 'crayons.'" I tell her truthfully.
My mother laughs a little, "I will have to ask her to color me something."
"She will love that. You should see our fridge." I chuckle.
Top to bottom our refrigerator is covered in Willow's art work, along with things she's taped to our living room walls or Peeta and I's dresser in our bedroom. That doesn't include her room that contains drawers full of papers or Peeta's art room that stores most of her big work.
"Does she still have brown hair?" She asks me.
I nod my head, "She does but it's turning a lighter brown color, maybe she will be blonde like Peeta eventually but I'm not sure." I say truthfully.
"Aw. And her eyes?"
"They're still an exact copy of Peeta's." I say smiling.
"That is great."
"She reminds me so much of Prim sometimes but most of the time she acts like Peeta, sometime she acts like me." I tell her laughing.
"You were always a good kid though and so was Peeta and Prim."
"I honestly think the only time she resembles me it's when she is mad."I inform her truthfully, laughing.
Peeta's said it since the day she was born and I would have to agree.
"Do you have any recent pictures of her? I really want to see her." My mother says eagerly.
I glance over to our book shelf and see an envelope full of her school pictures, "Yeah, that white envelope on the top shelf has her school pictures in them." I tell her.
She stands up and walks over to the shelve, picking up the envelope and coming back over.
"Oh, Katniss. She is absolutely beautiful." She nearly gasps.
I smile proudly, "Thank you." I say softly.
"This is such a good picture. She still looks like Peeta a lot but I see you in her too. A perfect mix."
I proudly admire the picture.
I still can't believe that Peeta and I made her.
"She lost her first tooth last week." I mention.
"Oh, I bet she was excited."
I snort, "She was kind of bummed about it because she was running in the kitchen and fell. She's lucky she didn't break her nose or something but she nearly knocked her tooth out. Peeta was able to get it out and then he told her about the tooth-fairy and she was all excited." I laugh.
"I can't wait until tomorrow." My mother says, genuinely smiling.
"Me either, even though it makes me sad to think about."
"It'll be alright." My mother assures me.
I sigh, "I know it will be."
"You look exhausted. You should probably go to bed. It's past three."
I sigh, "I probably should. You should too."
"I will."
"You can sleep here or in the upstairs." I tell her.
"I think I will just sleep down here if you don't mind." My mother says softly.
I shake my head, "I don't mind it. Here's a blanket and Willow left one of her pillows on the other side of that couch so you can use those if you want." I tell her with a yawn.
"Okay. Thank you." She smiles.
I smile sadly, "Goodnight, Mom." I say softly.
"Goodnight, Katniss. I will see you in the morning." She says.
"Okay. By the way Peeta wakes up ridiculously early so you may want to get to sleep pretty soon." I tell her with a chuckle and stand up.
"I'll be okay." She says smiling, still admiring the picture of Willow.
I rush to the dark staircase, hoping she didn't notice my stomach and I go to my room. The lights are still on and Peeta is still wife awake.
"You should've gone to bed." I tell him as I close the door.
"I know but I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm okay." I say softly and flip the light out. I crawl into bed next to him and he pulls me to him.
"I'm so proud of you." He whispers into my hair.
I close my eyes too, "Thank you. I just hope this makes everything so much better."
"I bet it will be perfect now. Willow is gonna be so excited in the morning." He says chuckling.
I laugh a little, "Definitely."
"We better go to sleep, Katniss. It's really late."
"I know. Goodnight." I say softly and kiss his cheek.
"Goodnight. I love you so so much." I tell him truthfully.
He chuckles, "I love you too."
***okay I know this isn't as long or whatever but I think it's better and idk what you guys think but please please let me know what you think 50 comments!!!