Three Months Later
I was standing in the dormitory. I was gripping my gun so tightly my hands were aching. Everything was moving in slow motion. The only sound I could hear was my own heavy breathing.
Then the door burst open. Everything suddenly sped up, everything except for me. As I raised my gun, my arm felt as if I was moving through cement. I watched as one of the guards pointed their weapon past me. I turned my head to see Shauna, just as a bullet hit her in the chest.
I gasped and sat up. I wasn't in Mount Weather anymore. I was in my bed. I was in Arkadia. I was safe. Bellamy pushed himself up on his elbows. "Nightmare?" He asked. I nodded. "Been a while since you had one of those."
"Every time I have to save someone," I mumbled. "And every time, I screw up."
"They're not real," he reminded me. "You need Abby to get you something to help you sleep?"
I shook my head. "That only makes them worse. And then I can't wake up."
He lay back down and extended his arm. I lay back down facing him, resting my head on his chest. I drew patterns on his shoulder with my finger. We were just quiet for a moment.
"Three months and I'm still not used to this."
I smiled. "Me either. This bed is way more comfortable than our bed on the Ark."
"You know that's not what I meant." He poked at me and I squirmed.
"I know, I know. No more almost dying, or at least no getting separated and almost dying. I'm not so sure the almost dying part can be helped. I'm going to go grey before I'm twenty at this rate."
"We're in this together. You're not going to lose me this time."
"I love you. But if you don't shut up and let me get back to sleep, I'm going to lose you on purpose."
He laughed and kissed the top of my head. "I love you."
★ ★ ★ ★
I met the trucks returning from Mount Weather. I had volunteered to help catalogue the art and literature recovered from the mountain. It reminded me of my days as the librarian's assistant. Plus, I got first dibs on anything I wanted from the truck.
I saw Shauna's hair before I saw her face. She'd had her hair in box braids as long as I'd known her. But after we escaped the mountain, she'd decided she needed a change. It seemed like maintaining natural hair would be a lot easier than a million perfect braids. But then again, the best I could do with my hair was pull it up in a half-decent ponytail.
She hopped out the back and bounded over to me. "Hey, Maia!"
I shook my head. "I still don't know how you can go back to that place."
"They needed someone who knew the layout." She seemed casual, but I knew she had nightmares after our rescue just like me. But Shauna found her peace by confronting her nightmare in the flesh. "And they offered me some of the tech we recovered."
"Nerd," I teased. "What'd you bring me today?"
She stuck a hand into her bag. "Grabbed this one for your boyfriend, isn't your anniversary coming up soon?" I nodded. She handed me a copy of the Iliad. "You said he liked the Greeks."
"Yeah, Aurora taught Bell and Octavia a ton of Greek mythology growing up. He'll like this, thanks."
She reached back into the bag. "And this one is for you." She put the blue book in my hand. I turned it over.
I looked up at her, wide-eyed. "Is this a first edition?"
She nodded. "Open it."
I flipped open the cover. There was a scrawled inscription. "I think I'm going to pass out."
Shauna cackled. "And you call me a nerd!"
"You just handed me a first edition of The Great Gatsby inscribed by F. Scott Fitzgerald himself. I am allowed to be a nerd for like five minutes," I said offended. "Where did they even get this?"
"Where did they get Van Gogh's Sunflowers?" She countered.
"Fair point." I stuck both the books in my bag and grabbed my tablet out instead. "Okay, let's get this month's haul archived."
★ ★ ★ ★
I leaned against the wall outside the training room. Bellamy and I were supposed to be going on a mapping run, but he stopped to help Lincoln teach a combat lesson. Finally Bellamy came out into the hall. "Lincoln finally done beating up on you?" I asked.
"Hey, I can hold my own against him."
"Okay," I said skeptically.
"Ready for Sector Seven?"
"The Ice Nation border, what could there possibly be to worry about?" I asked. "Maybe we should request extra weapons, just in case. I know it's against protocol, but I'd feel safer if I had my own gun. I think Raven and Monty would feel the same way."
"That's what I was thinking too." He nodded. "I'll go talk to Kane, you try to round everyone up?"
I nodded and headed back to the garage. Miller was standing near the door with his back to me. I ran up behind him and knocked one of his legs out from under him. He spun around, almost losing his balance. I socked him in the shoulder and he stumbled back. "Ouch?"
I laughed. "Just testing your reflexes. You might want to go practice with Lincoln some more."
Raven was fueling the rover. I walked up and pecked her on the cheek. "I get punched and Raven gets a kiss, that seems fair," Miller protested.
"What can I say? I play favorites." Truthfully, since Mount Weather, I'd grown closer to all of my fellow delinquents. They were all my people. But I'd chosen Miller for my team specifically. Being trapped in a cabinet with someone really bonds you to them.
"You're in a good mood," Raven noted.
"Yeah, I guess I am." I looked around. "Where are Monty and Jasper?"
"They haven't shown up yet," Miller told me. "But are you really surprised?"
I groaned. "Sometimes I question why I haven't kicked him off this team."
"I question that too." It was said light heartedly. But, I knew it wasn't just Miller that questioned my decision to keep Jasper on the team. Even Bellamy had suggested leaving him behind, but Monty had insisted and I'd agreed.
"I'll go get them. When Bell comes in here, send him my way. We're probably gonna need help dragging Jasper."
I headed to the shop and found Monty sitting at a table, head in his hands. "He's over there." He pointed without looking up at me. I walked father into the room and saw Jasper lying under a table.
"Damn it, Jasper," I mumbled. I looked back at Monty. "It's been three months, Monty."
He looked up at me. "I know. I just can't give up on him, you know?"
"I don't want to either, but he's not getting better." I walked over to him. "We're going into Sector Seven, if something happens-"
"I'll take responsibility for him."
"If one of us gets hurt, it'll be on me. I'm the one that okayed him to be in the field, even after Abby told me it was a bad idea."
"Because I asked you to."
"If someone dies because of him, hell if he gets himself killed, it won't matter what you said. I'll be responsible. I don't know if I can handle any more guilt. I'm not sure you can either."
Bellamy walked in. "Where is he this time?" I pointed under the table.
"One more chance?" Monty asked me.
I sighed. "Yeah, fine, whatever. But you've got to fix this." I turned to Bellamy. "Help me carry him?" He didn't look happy, but he grabbed one of Jasper's arms anyway.
We lugged him back to the garage and let him drop next to the rover. "Monty!" Shauna called.
"I got him," I told him. "Go say bye to your girlfriend." I grabbed a bucket of soapy water that Raven had been cleaning the rover's windows with. I walked over to Jasper and tossed the water in his face. He sat up quickly. "I'd say sorry, but I'm not."
"Where's Octavia?" Bellamy asked me.
"Haven't seen her today, but I told her when we were leaving," I said.
Bellamy passed out the guns. "What's the point if we can't shoot them?" Miller asked.
"We can, just not to kill." Bellamy handed me one and I looked at it for a moment. There was a time the very thought of touching a gun made me sick. Now here I was asking for one.
Miller, Bellamy, and I climbed into the back. I leaned over the front seat and grabbed Raven's hand, pulling her up into the driver's seat. Then I plopped down behind her. Jasper sat in the passenger seat.
Monty was still talking to Shauna. I stood up and stuck my head out the sunroof. "Come on, lovebirds, we've got a timetable here!" I shouted at them. Monty gave her a kiss and Shauna flipped me off behind his back. I laughed and ducked back into the rover.
Monty hurried over and jumped into the back with us. I patted Raven on the shoulder. "Let's go!" She flipped the switch to open the door outside. As the doors slid open, Octavia came into view on her horse. "And there she is, right on time."
"Try to keep up!" She shouted at us before turning and riding off toward the gate. Raven hit the gas and took off after her.
I lay my head on Bellamy's shoulder as we all rode in silence. "So anyone know a fun road trip game?" I asked. I looked between Miller and Monty. Miller shrugged.
Jasper started singing badly to the music on his iPod. I wrinkled up my nose. Monty leaned forward and yanked out his headphones. "No way." Jasper plugged his iPod into the rover's speakers and an old 80s song started playing. Jasper continued singing along.
Monty started to reach for the iPod but I batted him away. "This is better than silence for two hours."
I leaned forward and hung on Raven's seat. She was singing along quietly. I joined in, belting the lyrics in her ear. She laughed and started singing louder. I turned back to Bellamy. He was looking at us all amused, but wouldn't sing. I rolled over so I was straddling him, almost kicking Monty in the face in the process. I got up in Bell's face, screaming the song at him. He just laughed.
Jasper turned and crawled into the back. He squeezed my arm as he stood up through the sunroof. I started laughing and collapsed against Bellamy. He put his chin on the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me. For just a minute everything felt right.
The music stopped suddenly and I sat up. I rolled off Bellamy, even less gracefully than I'd gotten there in the first place. Ending up in the floor by Miller's feet. "What's that beeping?" I asked.
"A tracking beacon from the Ark," Monty said, leaping into the front seat. Raven put on the brakes.
"From who?" I asked, sliding forward so I was leaning between Raven and Monty.
Jasper ducked back down behind me. "That was the best part."
"Farm Station," he said, looking a little shocked.
"After all this time?" I asked. "Where are they?"
He typed away on the keyboard. Octavia opened the back door of the rover. "Don't tell me I missed the party."
"It's coming from Sector Eight," Monty told us.
"That's Ice Nation," Miller realized.
"Do we go after it?" I asked.
"Protocol says we go back, let the Chancellor decide," Raven reminded us.
"The Chancellor isn't from Farm Station," Bellamy said. "Monty is, so is Miller's boyfriend."
I looked up at Monty. "What do you say?"
"Let's do this."
I pulled myself back up into my seat. Octavia shut the door and returned to her horse. Raven hit the gas. I clutched my gun. The mood in the rover had done a complete 180. We had all heard the same speech from Lincoln; Azgeda wasn't to be messed with.