"But I like possessing Adam," Michael said.
"But God said he wants Adam's soul to go to heaven," I said. "And it's God."
"Who gives a shit?" Lucifer said from behind the glass. "How's my Sam?"
"SHUT UP LUCIFER!" Michael yelled.
"COME OVER HERE AND MAKE ME!"
:::Let's back track a little:::
"I'm meeting Crowley at Biggersons in a few hours. Do you know how to drive?"
"Yeah but I'm only two years old. What if I get pulled over? I don't have a drivers license." She tapped her long pointed fingernails on the dash.
"You look a lot older than six months. I mean I'm not sure exactly how old because I'm bad with ages but definitely older than two."
"Aging is different for me."
"Okay you look older than I do, but we don't have a license with a picture on it. If you get pulled over, turn into a cat and run."
"Why am I driving in the first place?"
"Because I need you to drop me off at Biggersons and then drive away. I don't trust Crowley, so if I'm gone too long call my phone, if I don't answer call the Winchesters. In the meantime have some fun."
"I don't like this."
"I'm sorry," I said handing her a phone, "I need you to do this though. I should be fine."
"I have a phone," she pulled a phone out of her jeans pocket. "It has your phone number in it."
"Okay you were a cat. Where did the phone come from? And the clothes too?"
"Magic."
"I'm being serious."
"I'm a cat sometimes. Weird happens. Don't question the clothes thing. I know how to do some freaky shit."
"Okay where did the phone come from in the first place?"
"Mikey got it for me."
"Does it have Sam, Dean, Charlie, and Cas' numbers?"
"Yes," she said.
"Okay then. We're all set."
:::Time skip brought to you by Dora's head:::
"Hello," Crowley sat down at my table and stole one of my French fries.
I scooted my French fries closer to me and rested one of my arms between him and the fries. "Can you get me in and out of Lucifer's cage without letting out the two archangels stuck in there?"
"As in the cage in hell? My hell? The one with the devil in it?"
"That's the one."
"Are you joking or just stupid?"
"No. I want to get Adam Winchester out of the cage. Can you help me? And then not tell anyone I know about it?"
"You want to get Adam out of hell, and then not tell his brothers?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want them to know I'm working with you, I don't want them to tell me it's not safe, and I don't think they'll be much help considering they've made no effort to get him out for the six years he's been there. Help me or not?"
"Why do you want to get mini moose out of the cage in the first place?"
"He's an innocent person and he's stuck in hell."
"No."
"You won't help?"
"No that's not the reason."
"Yes it is."
"No it's not," he tried to steal another French fry and I smacked his hand away.
"Okay let's try heaven told me not to and I like to screw over the Angels?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm a prophet and I've officially decided that God and Angels suck."
"I will get you into the cage and if you survive I'll let you back out, but I get your French fries."
"That's it?" I asked. "The fries?"
"I appreciate the irony of the situation."
"Then write up a contract cause I'm not kissing you."
:::So where were we?:::
"Look I don't even need the body. Just give me his soul so I can take it to heaven."
"You could let me out of here. Surely God doesn't want me stuck down here with that," Michael gestured at Lucifer, "for the rest of eternity."
"YOUR'E NOT SO HOT YOURSELF MISTER RIGHTEOUSNESS!"
"This is God's punishment for taking Adam as your vessel instead of Dean like you were supposed to. For goodness sake even your brother got his proper vessel. Dean was supposed to be your vessel and you failed. If you give me Adam's soul maybe God will let you out, but further disobedience isn't going to improve your situation." Yeah that sounds reasonable. That could work.
"He wouldn't consent it's not my fault-"
"NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!" Satan wailed.
"THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU LUCIFER!" Michael screamed back.
"Look Adam isn't supposed to be down here. This cage was built for disobedient angels. Adam was fooled into thinking he was following God's will and he acted faithfully. He should not be punished for your disobedience and loss of patience. Give me his soul and I'll send it upstairs. I'll put in a good word for you with your dad."
"If it is God's will," Michael nodded.
"Can we go back to chess yet?" Lucifer whined.
"Hold on!" Michael mate realized a jar and breathed something blue and glow-y into it. "There's his soul."
"Thank you," I knocked on the side of the cage. "Yo I need outta here."
I poofed out to the surface where Crowley was.
"So how'd it go?"
"I got the soul."
"How'd you get a soul out of Michaels vessel?" Crowley asked, tapping the side of my jar of Adam.
"I told him it was God's will then he gave it to me. I need you to go now so I can call an angel. I'm a prophet it would probably kill you."
"I thought you were doing this to spite the Angels."
"I did my spiting now I need to get Adam to safety. I mean you could stick around but they'd probably obliterate you."
"Tell them I said hi," he snapped his fingers and disappeared.
"Hannah I need you to come get this."
Felix appeared. "That's Adam."
"And you're not Hannah."
"How'd you get Adam?"
"I lied to Michael and said it was God's will."
"He could've killed you."
"I prayed to Hannah."
"She doesn't like to take vessels," Felix said. "I was intercepting your prayers until you gave up on Adam. You spoke to Michael? What were they doing down there?"
"Chess. Can you just take the soul?"
"You don't need me just twist off the lid."
"Oh right," I untwisted the lid and watched Adam float up. I sat down on the ground.
"Kah-nuh-ahm-dahr," I recited. My arm began to burn and glow. I held my wrist and bit my lip. I collapsed to the side. Felix just stood there making my pain awkward. Thanks Felix.
The burning subsided, I puked. More awkward.
"That's all supposed to happen?" Felix asked.
"The puking is new, but yeah it's supposed to be painful. It's a sacrifice. God's idea."
"Oh, okay," Felix said awkwardly. "Can I take you somewhere?"
"Um yeah I need you to take me to my cat."
::: Time skip brought to you by Silly Songs With Larry:::
"That's not a cat," said Felix.
"Not right now," agreed Cinders.
"I'm leaving now," said Felix. Felix left.
"I see you made some friends," I noted all the cats standing around the car.
"Don't look at them it's rude."
"Um okay sorry," I averted my eyes from the cats. "We need to go now. Look I'm not feeling so great can you drive?"
"Yeah are you going to be okay?"
"Well I'm slowly killing myself, but relatively."
"Right. Yeah I'll drive," she meowed something at the cats and they all left.
"Hold on." I pulled some of my potions out of the back of the car, before climbing into the passenger seat.
Cinder started the car and we were driving.
"So I made these like right in front of you because I thought you were just a cat and you weren't going to tell anyone. Is anyone else doing anything I should know about?"
"That seems hypocritical to ask."
"Yeah a little."
"AJ and Ethan are together," Cinders said. "Like they made out."
"Are you serious?"
"Completely. They wanted to say something but didn't know how to bring it up to everyone so they were being all cute and secretive about it."
I drank the potion for nausea. "Ah young love. I'll be sure to tease them about it later. Speaking of love, so you and Mikey?"
"NO! Oh my God Maria I am two years old!"
"Okay well Cas is as old as time itself but Dean-"
"Just no."
"Okay okay just checking. And Sam isn't screwing Crowley or anything right?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
"Okay." My phone was ringing. The collar ID said it was one of Sam's phones.
"Hey Sam. What's up?"
"We killed three houses today how did it go with Jophiel?"
"Well I just talked to her vessel slash wife and apparently Zad and Gabby already have their powers and she wouldn't let them come to The Bunker with me so that's that. Oh and Cinders is a skin walker."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah we're both fine she's a nice skin walker."
"Uh okay."
"Okay?"
"I don't know how to respond."
"That's reasonable."
"So you're feeling fine now?"
"Yeah didn't Cas tell you?"
"Yeah you just looked really bad when we left."
"Gee thanks."
"Like how I looked after the trials."
Not good not good very not good.
"It looked a lot worse than it felt," I lied. "I'm fine now. You have seven houses to go. Where's the next one? We can meet you there."
"No you guys go home. We'll see you when we get back. We've got it covered."
"How's Dean doing with the Mark and all?"
"Cas keeps him calm. He's normal, or some version of normal."
"What about Cyrus?"
"I don't really know. I mean he seems okay, which kind of makes it not okay."
"You think he should feel guilty?"
"I kinda feel guilty and he's one of them."
"He's witnessed what they can do first hand all his life. He's fine. Quit feeling guilty. Frankensteins are like classic movie monsters. Evil scientists. It's fine. You're doing good."
"It's just unsettling."
"Okay you sure you don't want us to go there?"
"I don't know if we'd still be her by the time you catch up. We're fine. Go home."
A/N
Hey peoples!
I'm working on updating more often. It takes willpower to overcome my laziness. Plus my phone is kinda dying here. More soon. I need to get this book finished. (Not because I dislike writing it. There will be a sequel.)
How is everyone feeling about Cinders?
Oh yeah and someone make up cute names for AJxEthan ship cause this is a thing now and I'm bad at ship names. And writing romance which is why the ship was presented in this manner.
Also Destiel wedding ideas anyone? Comment and I will consider them.
LURV CHU ALL!!!