Long chapter, enjoy! :)
Chapter 9 - The Morning After
I woke up with a sick feeling in my gut. Not vomit...regret. It took a while for memories of last night to flood through my mind, but when they did, I was just about ready to jump off the balcony. I didn't know why I got so sick and what even happened really. It was all such a blur.
"You're awake." Daman's voice held a tone of relief. "Thank god. I was starting to get worried." He ran a hand through his hair.
"What happened last night?" I propped my pillow against the headboard and leaned back. Part of me didn't to hear his answer. I pulled my legs up to my chest.
"I think you should eat something first. Last night was a complete disaster and its all my fault." His eyes looked at my guiltily.
"Just tell me. I can't remember anything. I can't even remember drinking." I ran a hand through my hair. It was slightly damp but neatly combed.
"I was being a total dick. Valentina, I have to tell you the truth about something." He sat down on the bed right next to my feet.
"Okay." I gulped, not knowing what to expect. He placed his hand on my knee and took a deep breath.
"I have feelings for you," he said slowly, looking deep into my eyes. What? Did I hear that right?
"You said that one time already, I think," I scratched my head recalling the memory. "What do you mean?" I choked out wanting him to specify. There was something in his voice that sounded so...vulnerable.
"I want you. I don't want you to leave because I'm selfish. I want you to stay here with me. It took me last night to realize it. I saw Michael looking at you and it made me jealous. Jealousy doesn't come from nowhere." He looked away.
"You just—I...I don't know what to say." I admitted.
I didn't see any of this shit coming. But why did his words make me happy? I should be...how should I even feel? Angry? Annoyed? This is all just incentive to stay here.
"You don't have to say anything. I just thought you should know." he sighed.
"I made you breakfast." He gestured to the cup of tea, plate of French toast, and bowl of freshly cut fruit.
"You didn't have to do that," I groaned, getting out of bed.
"Where are you going? You passed out last night. I think today should be a rest day for you." Daman halted me.
"I'm fine. It was just a bit of an off night." I shrugged and stumbled onto my feet. I looked around the room, indecisive over what I should do next.
Daman grabbed me and placed me back onto the bed. "Nice try."
"Daman, come on. I'm fine. I just...I don't know. I'm so confused." I hated feeling this way. I couldn't recognize what I wanted to do or what I needed but I was frantic to do something.
"I love spending time with you. I really like you." I admitted. I lied down and let my hair sprawl out onto the pillow. Daman crawled in beside me.
"I'll miss you." I whispered tracing my finger along his cheekbone. He closed the gap between us by gently placing his lips on mine. I pulled my head back slightly.
"What is it?" he looked at me nervously.
"Morning breath," I mumbled with embarrassment. I did recall using Listerine last night, but that couldn't of helped much.
"I don't care about that," Daman nudged his face back in place so our noses were lightly grazing one another.
"But now that I think about it, you did throw up last night." he gave me a teasing smile.
Rolling my eyes, I carefully got out of bed and walked to the sink. Of course he carefully trailed behind me, watching my every step to ensure that I was okay. Five minutes later, my teeth were sparkly clean and I was back in bed.
"Okay, now we can kiss," I grinned, leaning in and locking lips with him.
I moved my hands to the back of his neck, pulling him closer against me. His mouth moved slower, taking the time to make the kiss as passionate and affectionate as possible.
All sense of worry had left my mind and was replaced with pure bliss. Kissing him made all my troubles disappear. Or at least that's what it felt like. Moaning into his mouth, his fingers delicately trailed up my bare thigh and under the baggy boxers I was wearing.
His hand pushed my legs apart and rested between them, pressing on my growing wetness. I jolted my hips up with a desperate response. Daman slowly undressed me and finally allowed me to strip him.
"I want you so bad." He sighed while leaving a trail of kisses on my neck and collarbone.
I rested my hands on his hips, waiting for him to make the next move. His length was so erect it was almost painfully pressing into my thigh. Just when I thought Daman would push into me and continue, but he stopped and took the time to stare at me.
Hovering over me, his eyes raked down my now naked body.
"I want to remember this moment forever." He sighed contently.
Keeping eye contact, he slowly pressed into me, making the experience much more sensual. He let out a soft grunt and continued to thrust, with a slower pace than usual.
I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist and brought my hips up to graze his, pushing him all the way inside me. I gasped as the slightly painful but amazing feeling. It wasn't our first time having sex, but I was just as swooned. He was so good in bed that each time was a new experience.
"Daman," I dug my nails into the smooth skin on his back.
"Fuck, you're so beautiful." He grunted, increasing his pace. I felt my body adjust to meet his every move. I seemed to respond so perfectly to him.
"Oh god." I closed my eyes and furrowed my eyebrows. My lips formed an "o" shape, and I tried to hold on to the euphoric pleasure soaring through my body.
"Look at me baby. Let me see your eyes." He moaned, running his thumb across my cheek.
The headboard banged against the wall, making me hope that Leo was sleeping or distracted doing something else.
Granting his wish, I opened my eyes and gave him a daring look. God he looks so hot. How can someone possess such beautiful traits?
Daman wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging my body even closer to his so we were pressed against each other. He lifted me off the mattress and continued to move his hips. Rolling up over so I was on top, he took a deep breath and relaxed.
"What are you doing?" I stopped moving.
"Letting you take control. It's getting a little tiring to do all the work." Daman smiled.
"Oh," I blushed nervously.
"I know you'll be good like this," He placed his hands underneath my ass and lifted me up and down to demonstrate what I should do.
Whoa. Feeling him pump into me only restarted my sex drive.
I nervously placed my palms on his chest and continued to lift myself up and down, with his hands guiding me.
"I knew you'd...be good at..." Daman tried to say between heavy breaths. His hands rubbed my lower back as encouragement.
Gaining confidence, I began to move my hips in circular motions, and clench my walls around him. I arched my back in pleasure.
"Daman, I..." I couldn't manage to get the words out because I was so out of breath. Understanding me completely, he thrust his hips up, pushing him deeper than I would've imagined. The single action released me, sending strong waves of pleasure throughout my body.
His hands were resting on my hips and his nails were pressing into my skin, surly leaving marks.
When we both recovered from our highs, I climbed off him, and rested my head on his chest.
He arched himself up a tad, hitting my favorite spot and I was immediately rewarded with an amazing pleasure, tingling through every nerve in my body.
"I wish I could last longer with you." Daman chuckled when we were both finished, pulling me close so my head was resting on his chest.
"What?" I smiled, still catching my breath.
"You're so tight, I can never last long with you. You just feel so good." Daman spoke in a low voice.
"I'm just glad I can actually finish when I'm with you." I laughed.
"You mean you've been with someone who hasn't gotten you to finish?" Daman looked at me astonished.
"Are you kidding me? I've had so many boyfriends that would just call it quits when they finished. They would literally just pull out. And some come after like two pumps." I cracked up reminiscing on the terrible sex I had in my freshmen year of college.
"No way!" Daman gasped.
"I'm not joking, it sucked!"
"Why would anyone do something like that?" he gaped.
"Like I would know," I snorted. "Can I ask you a question?" I nudged myself further onto his chest, getting comfortable.
"I'm not sure I'll have an answer." He squeezed me and chuckled showing off his dimples.
"What does the whole Euro thing mean? Why did Michael give it to you and why did he bring it up last night?" I looked up at him.
He took a deep breath and let out a sigh before answering. "I honestly...I just...listen, I know you want to know, but it's in your best interest not to. Maybe one day you'll find out but trust me it's nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing you should be worried about." He fumbled for a response.
I could tell that it clearly was a big deal; he just didn't want to tell me. It was too important for me to know.
I'll find out one day, whether he tells me or not. I convinced myself, knowing that no secret could stay buried forever, especially with Michael blabbering about it.
"Did you know that I was going to be a gynecologist?" I changed the subject knowing he was uncomfortable with my last question.
"No way." He was suddenly intrigued.
"Yup. That was the dream. To be an OB/GYN."
"You wanted to stare at vaginas all day?" Daman gave me an odd look.
"No! Well...I just thought it would be cool to work with women and help them deliver babies." I admitted. Why am I telling him all of this? And why is he listening?
"So what happened?" Daman began to run his fingers through my hair, something that had become a habit.
"I just decided against it I guess. Also, it comes with too many night shifts. It would be inconvenient if I were to ever have a family." I explained.
"I think you just described my job. And I happen to have a son." Daman laughed.
"What even is your job?" I looked up at him.
"I'm an environmental lawyer for my company. I guess that also makes me CEO or something. It's all hard to explain. It's an animal rights company."
"What?" Animal rights? That totally did not sound like...what I expected.
"Yeah. We file lawsuits against zoos and recreational parks like Sea World." He shrugged like it was no big deal.
"Oh my god that's you!" I sprung out of his arms, sitting up straight and looking down at him. I had heard about this company that had been slowly shutting down big animal exhibits.
"Yeah." He laughed with an amused look in his eyes.
"You're basically famous! I've read about your company in the newspaper at least a dozen times!" my eyes widened. "San Diego Sea World is redesigning their Orca exhibits because of you!"
Daman chuckled before answering.
"I'm just helping people see things right. Did you know that several dolphins in captivity are committing suicide? They continuously bang their heads against the glass of their tanks until they die. Setting them free just makes me an ethical person."
"Whatever, sounds pretty awesome to me," I rolled my eyes and lay back down on his chest. "I feel stupid for not knowing this though. Not only have I been working for you, but I've attended two business events."
"I don't really like to talk about work a whole lot--even though I love my job. But I have to say, if you want to be an OB/GYN you should do it. Though, I still don't understand the whole concept of dealing with vaginas all day. Are you secretly a lesbian?" he jokingly smiled at me.
"Ha ha very funny." I rolled my eyes.
"I would love that job—but only if you were my patient." He kissed my cheek.
"How romantic." I playfully slapped his chest.
"Do you want a family of your own?" Daman asked after a few moments of silence. The house was fairly quiet. Looking at the clock I noticed the early time. Leo was probably still sleeping.
"I don't know. I mean, of course I do. But who knows what will happen."
"Don't women usually plan this stuff out?"
"Okay, fine. If we're being totally honest, I would like to have a boyfriend and a kid or two."
"Boyfriend as in no husband?" Daman looked at me oddly.
"I think marriage is basically pointless nowadays. People rush into marriage so quickly and reassure themselves with the fact that they can get divorced. I think it's more meaningful to just be with someone forever without any of the complicated stuff," I shrugged.
"I will say I disagree but I may not be a good example considering I've been divorced before." Daman laughed. "But I don't plan on avoiding marriage."
"What a nice way of telling me you don't agree." I laughed and kissed his cheek.
There was something about us after having sex; we were always so affectionate with one another—like we were dating or something.
"I never thought you would be such a pessimist about this kind of stuff." Daman laughs.
"I guess you didn't know me very well."
"I know your body very well." He rolled over pinning me down.
"You've proven that to be true." I lean in and press my lips on his. His warm body was radiating heat onto mine from the close proximity.
"What happened earlier?" the playfulness in his expression was replaced with worry.
"What are you talking about?"
His change of topic literally gives me whiplash.
"When we changed positions and you were on top." He explained.
Oh. Why does he have to bring this up?
"Nothing, I just got a little nervous." I blush.
"You shouldn't be. You're beautiful and seeing you like that was so enticing. And it did feel good; I don't know why you stopped. You were doing great." He stared into my orbs, his lips hovering above mine.
"I'm...sorry." I murmur, not sure what to say. My eyes lightly fluttered; I felt like his touch was putting my under some spell. "I just don't have good...experiences doing that." I admit breaking the silence. Memories of past events flood through my mind. I remember the last time I was in that position, I ended up humiliating myself.
"Can you just lean back on the bed and let me be in charge." Tyler, my ex-boyfriend, had told me when I pushed him over to let me take control. It was such a mortifying mess. I could practically feel him go soft.
"I thought you did great." Daman repeats, distracting me from my flashback.
"Thanks," I force a smile. "Now can I please leave, Leo's probably bored out of his mind."
"He's still sleeping." Daman tightened his arms around me.
"How do you know that?" I challenged.
"Because I can't hear him. He'd be screaming and knocking on my door if he was awake right now."
I nodded knowing he was right. Leo was not a very quiet kid.
"You know, we're kind of like a cute little family." Daman spoke softly, hesitating before looking down at me.
"What are you talking about?"
"You, Leo, and I," Daman laughed.
"How cute," I sarcastically remarked with a smile, pretending like I didn't just die from his sweet words. I couldn't believe he considered me apart of their family.
"Valentina...you and I...we could just..." Daman's voice trailed off, fumbling for the right words. "I...I know this is so crazy to say, but you can't tell me that you haven't thought of it."
"What?" I inquired, looking up at him.
"I just, I've been imagining what it would be like if things were different. If you were here for a reason other than work." Daman sighed. "If you—or someone like you, could be Leo's mom. I feel so bad for him."
"Daman, Leo has you. Believe me when I tell you it's enough. I know you're not around all the time, but I see the way you look at him. I know how much you love him. He knows how much you love him."
"But things would be...better if he had his mom."
"What happened to her? Taylor I mean." I knew my questions were overstepping so many boundaries but I think the two of us were a little past that.
"Taylor...she's changed. She used to be so different—so nice. Now the only thing she's interested in is money. When we got engaged, I didn't want her to sign a prenuptial agreement, I truly believed she loved me. A couple weeks before our wedding, I found myself thinking that I was making the wrong decision so, I made her sign one. I knew that I should've backed out then and there. If I felt threatened by her, I shouldn't have been asking for her hand in marriage. After that, everything just went downhill. We got married, and she hired lawyers who began bargaining with me about how much money I should be giving her after a possible divorce. It was like I watched greed tear her apart."
"What happened after that? You just got divorced?" my heart broke for a youthful Daman who was too in love to see reality.
"I filed for divorce after we got into this huge argument that definitely showed her true colors and woke me the fuck up." He laughed lightly. "After the divorce, she cried saying I owed her money because turns out, the bitch was pregnant."
"How come she's not using Leo as an outlet for money?" I asked, my mind whizzing with intrigue. His life was like a soap opera.
"She tried. We shared custody for a year or two. She left him in the car one day while shopping at the grocery store and was charged with child neglect. I got lucky that she turned out to be just as bad of a mom as wife." Daman chuckled.
"I can't believe someone would do something like that." I gaped at him.
"I know you already answered this, but I still don't get why you were sleeping with her. After the marriage was over." I forced myself to ask the pondering thought as my mind recalled those early summer nights when I would overhear the two of them having sex.
"This beginning of this past summer, she had been threatening me with custody. She kept saying she wanted Leo back."
"So you had sex with her...?" His words didn't seem to pass through my ears properly. I couldn't understand why he would willingly give himself to her.
"Yeah. I just...I hadn't had sex in a really long time. It's so hard to go out and date when you have to go to work and take care of a kid. I needed someone and she was there. But more importantly, I thought I would be able to sway her from taking my son." He sighed, explaining as I listened. Though his explanation was reasonable, I still found myself feeling slightly jealous.
"Why do I feel like I have to explain myself to you." He spoke in a low voice. "I don't want you to think I was having sex with her because I had feelings for her. But I shouldn't care what you think. Should I?" he turned to me.
"I don't know." I answered honestly.
I didn't know what he should feel or what I should feel. Here we were holding each other, early morning, in his bed. It was all so romantic but there was the sense of reality kicking in that made me think about whether or not I should still be here.
"You make me not want to finish school. You make me want to stay in this house with you forever." I finally said.
"Then stay." His voice spoke like a siren's song.
"But I can't." I sighed.
"Go to school. Graduate. But live here with me. Or finish school and come back here. Not as a nanny but as...I don't know. My girlfriend?" He suggested.
"Why do you want me to stay here?" I inquired, pushing myself up slightly. I wanted to be able to face him without uncomfortably craning my neck upwards. I crossed my legs and stared at him, waiting for his response.
"Because, I just want you to stay. I haven't felt this way about anyone since I first met Taylor—and that was years ago. But even that was different. You're different. You work for me for fucks sake. I would've thought I'd scared you off by now, that Leo would've scared you off, or my dick brother. But you're still here. I think that says something don't you? I mean fuck, Valentina you're beautiful. Not to mention your charismatic and kind personality. I love that you're in bed with me right now, yet you haven't forgotten about the goals you've set for yourself." He looked into my eyes lovingly, making my heart skip a beat.
Does he really mean all of this?
"I got into UC San Diego." I replied simply.
"Valentina that's amazing." his smile widened. He reached over and rested his hand on my cheek.
"Do you think I could still stay here? I requested that all my classes start past one in the afternoon so I can spend the mornings with Leo. If you still want me to. You don't have to pay me."
"Of course you can. If you'd prefer I could get a babysitter or something for Leo so you'll have time to focus on your school work."
"No," I gripped onto his arm, "I still want my job!" my eyes widened.
"Okay, okay!" Daman chuckled. "It was only a suggestion."
"I know," I smiled giddily bringing my lips to his. His tongue slid into my mouth, savoring my every taste. I move my hands up his muscular back and glided my fingers through his smooth hair.
"I could lay here with you all day and night." Daman smiled looking at me breathlessly. I couldn't help but agree with him.
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